Condoms are no longer a fact of life for young Americans.

— They’re an afterthought

Condoms are made available to students at the University of Mississippi campus in Oxford, Miss., Wednesday, Aug. 28, 2024.

By Devna Bose

It’s hard to miss the overflowing bowl of condoms at the entrance of the gym.

Some University of Mississippi students walking past after their workout snicker and point, and the few who step forward to consider grabbing a condom rethink it when their friends catch up, laughter trailing behind them. Almost no one actually reaches in to take one.

Though officials say they refill the bowl multiple times a day, and condoms are available at multiple places on campus, Ole Miss students say the disinterest is indicative of changing attitudes.

Fewer young people are having sex, but the teens and young adults who are sexually active aren’t using condoms as regularly, if at all. And people ages 15 to 24 made up half of new chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis cases in 2022.

The downward trend in condom usage is due to a few things: medical advancements like long-term birth control options and drugs that prevent sexually transmitted infections; a fading fear of contracting HIV; and widely varying degrees of sex education in high schools.

Is this the end of condoms? Not exactly. But it does have some public health experts thinking about how to help younger generations have safe sex, be aware of their options—condoms included—and get tested for STIs regularly.

“Old condom ads were meant to scare you, and all of us were scared for the longest time,” said Dr. Joseph Cherabie, medical director of the St. Louis HIV Prevention Training Center. “Now we’re trying to move away from that and focus more on what works for you.”

A shift in attitudes

Downtown Oxford was thrumming the day before the first football game of the season. The fall semester had just started.

Lines of college students with tequila-soda breath waited to be let in dim bars with loud music. Hands wandered, drifting into back pockets of jeans, and they leaned on one another.

It’s likely that many of those students didn’t use a condom, said Magan Perry, president of the college’s Public Health Student Association.

“Using a condom is just a big, ‘uh, no,’” the senior said.

Young women often have to initiate using condoms with men, she said, adding that she’s heard of men who tell a sexual partner they’ll just buy emergency contraception the next day instead.

“I’ve had friends who go home with a guy and say they’re not having sex unless they use a condom, and immediately the reaction is either a reluctant, ‘OK, fine,’ or ‘If you don’t trust me, then I shouldn’t even be here,’” Perry said. “They’re like, ‘Well, I’m not dirty, so why would I use them?’”

Women have long had the onus of preventing pregnancy or STIs, Cherabie said, and buying condoms or emergency contraceptives—which are often in a locked cabinet or behind a counter—can be an uncomfortable experience and “inserts a certain amount of shame,” Cherabie said.

If pregnancy risk has been the driving factor for condom usage among heterosexual couples, the fear of contracting HIV was the motivation for condom use among men who have sex with men.

But as that fear has subsided, so has condom use, according to a recent study that focused on a population of HIV-negative men who have sex with men.

Grindr, a popular gay dating app, even lists condom use under “kinks” instead of “health.” Things like that make Steven Goodreau, an HIV expert at the University of Washington who led the study, worry that the change in attitudes toward condoms is trickling down to younger generations.

Goodreau believes the promotion of pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP), a drug that prevents HIV, is overshadowing condoms as a prevention strategy. A strategic plan for federal HIV research through 2025 doesn’t mention condoms, and neither does the national Ending the HIV Epidemic plan.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention acknowledges that condoms are still an effective tool that can be used “alongside newer prevention strategies.”

“We know that condom use has declined among some groups, but they still have an important role to play in STI prevention,” said Dr. Bradley Stoner, director of the CDC’s Division of STD Prevention.

“Condoms can be accessed without navigating the health care system, can be used on-demand, are generally affordable and most importantly, they are effective at preventing HIV and STIs when used consistently and correctly.”

Medical advances allow for more options

Pleasure—for both men and women—has long been an undeniable factor for the lack of condom use, according to Dr. Cynthia Graham, a member of the Kinsey Institute team that studies condoms.

But more so, advances in medicine have expanded the options for both STI and pregnancy prevention.

Young cisgender women have been turning to contraceptive implants like intrauterine devices and birth control pills to keep from getting pregnant. And researchers say that once women are in committed relationships or have one sexual partner for a significant amount of time, they often switch to longer-term birth control methods.

Ole Miss junior Madeline Webb said she and her partner seem like outliers—they have been seeing each other for four years, but still use condoms. They also share the responsibility of buying condoms.

“People see condoms as an inconvenience … but they do serve a purpose even if you’re on birth control because there is always a chance of an STD,” Webb said.

A new drug on the market could mean even more STI prevention options for men and possibly women.

Doxycycline post-exposure prophylaxis, or doxy PEP, can be taken within 72 hours after unprotected sex and can help prevent chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis. It has to be prescribed by a doctor. Trials are still being conducted for women, but the drug is gaining traction among men who have sex with men and transgender women.

With widespread uptake, the drug has the potential to make a significant impact in STI prevention strategies.

“When PrEP came out, everyone was excited because it was one less thing to worry about in terms of HIV acquisition,” Cherabie said. “With another thing on board that can help decrease our likelihood of getting other STIs, on top of not having to worry about HIV, it gives our community and patients a little less anxiety about their sex lives.”

And in just a decade, PrEP has become a main preventive measure against HIV and other STIs for men who have sex with men—though it is disproportionately used by white men.

Condom use now is “pretty much a thing of the past” for men who have sex with men compared to the 1980s and early 1990s during the AIDS epidemic, said Andres Acosta Ardilla, a community outreach director at an Orlando-based nonprofit primary care clinic that focuses on Latinos with HIV.

“Part of what we have to talk about is that there is something enticing about having condomless sex,” Acosta Ardilla said. “And we have to, as people who are working in public health, plan for the fact that people will choose to have condomless sex.”

The fight over sex ed

Despite the relentless Southern sun, a handful of people representing various student organizations sat at tables in the heart of Ole Miss’ campus. Students walked past and grabbed buttons, wristbands and fidget toys. One table offered gold-packaged condoms—for cups to prevent drinks from being spiked.

Actual condoms are noticeably absent. They’re also absent in the state’s public schools.

Condom demonstrations are banned in Mississippi classrooms, and school districts can provide abstinence-only or “abstinence-plus” sexual education—both of which can involve discussing condoms and contraceptives.

Focus on the Family, an Christian organization that advocates for teaching abstinence until marriage, is concerned that comprehensive sex education “exposes students to explicit materials.” Abstinence-centered education is “age-appropriate” and keeps students safe and healthy, Focus on the Family analyst Jeff Johnston said in an emailed statement.

But Josh McCawley, deputy director of Teen Health Mississippi, an organization that works with youth to increase access to health resources, said the effects are clear.

“The obvious consequence is the rise of sexually transmitted infections, which is what we’re seeing right now, which can be a burden on the health care system,” he said, “but also there could be long-term consequences for young people in terms of thinking about what it means to be healthy and how to protect themselves, and that goes beyond a person’s sexual health.”

The latest CDC data from 2022 shows Mississippi has the highest teen birth rate in the country.

Scott Clements, who oversees health information for the state education department, was hesitant to criticize Mississippi’s sex education standards because they’re “legislatively mandated.”

“If the legislature wants to make changes to this, we will certainly follow their lead,” he added—though attempts to pass more advanced sexual education standards have died repeatedly in the Mississippi statehouse over the past eight years.

Nationally, there is no set standard for sex education, according to Michelle Slaybaugh, policy and advocacy director for the Sexuality Information and Education Council for the United States, which advocates for comprehensive sex ed.

Not every state mandates sex education. Some states emphasize abstinence. Less than half of states require information on contraception.

“There is no definitive way to describe what sex ed looks like from classroom to classroom, even in the same state, even in the same district,” Slaybaugh said, “because it will really be determined by who teaches it.”

Compare Mississippi to Oregon, which has extensive state standards that require all public school districts to teach medically accurate and comprehensive sexual education. Students in Portland are shown how to put on a condom starting in middle school and have access to free condoms at most high schools.

Lori Kuykendall of Dallas, who helped write abstinence-focused standards, said condom demonstrations like those in Portland “normalize sexual activity in a classroom full of young people who the majority of are not sexually active.” She also points to increasingly easy access to pornography — in which people typically do not wear condoms—is a contributing factor to the decline in condom use among young people.

Jenny Withycombe, the assistant director for health and physical education at Portland Public Schools, acknowledged the standards see pushback in the more conservative and rural parts of Oregon. But the idea is to prepare students for future interactions.

“Our job is to hopefully build the skills so that even if it’s been a while since the (condom) demo … the person has the skills to go seek out that information, whether it’s from the health center or other reliable and reputable resources,” Withycombe said.

Those standards seem to contribute to a more progressive view of condoms and sex in young adults, said Gavin Leonard, a senior at Reed College in Portland and a former peer advocate for the school’s sexual health and relationship program.

Leonard, who grew up in Memphis—not far from Oxford, Mississippi, said his peers at Reed may not consistently use condoms, but, in his experience, better understand the consequences of not doing so. They know their options, and they know how to access them.

Slaybaugh wants that level of education for Mississippi students—and the rest of the country.

“We would never send a soldier into war without training or the resources they need to keep themselves safe,” she said. “We would not send them into a battle without a helmet or a bulletproof vest. So why is it OK for us to send young people off to college without the information that they need to protect themselves?”

Complete Article HERE!

5 reasons why abortion is health care

— Access to safe abortion care has a real impact on people’s lives and health, from preventing unsafe abortions and complications to upholding bodily autonomy.

A patient speaks with a midwife at Chingussura health center in Beira, where MSF connects hard-to-reach communities with safe abortion care and other sexual and reproductive health services.

At Doctors Without Borders/Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF), we consider safe abortion care a critical part of our sexual and reproductive health care services—one that can save lives and support the well-being of our patients.

Our teams around the world work in countries with varying laws and cultural views on abortion. Every day, MSF staff see firsthand how access to safe abortion care has a real impact on people’s lives and health.  Anyone who seeks an abortion—no matter their reason—is deserving of high-quality and dignified care. When patients can access safe abortion care in their communities, the risk of complications related to unsafely induced abortion significantly decreases. There are instances in which safe abortion care is medically necessary to preserve an individual’s health and well-being, or even save their life. As health providers, MSF is committed to upholding medical ethics and person-centered care, which includes access to safe abortion.

1. Abortion is a common health procedure worldwide

More than half of all unintended pregnancies in the world end in abortion, whether spontaneously (referred to as miscarriage) or as the result of a deliberate intervention. People all over the world seek abortions when they do not wish to be pregnant. Chances are, someone close to you has had an abortion.

  • 73 million induced abortions occur around the world each year
  • 45 percent of abortions worldwide are unsafe, the vast majority in low- and middle-income countries
  • Abortion is common: 6 in 10 unintended pregnancies end in abortion, and 3 in 10 out of all pregnancies
  • MSF provided 54,500 consultations for safe abortion care around the world in 2023
  • Policy restrictions, health inequities, stigma, and misperceptions can inhibit access to safe abortion care
  • Unsafe abortion is a significant contributor to maternal mortality worldwide, causing an estimated 22,800 – 31,000 deaths each year

Safe abortion care

An abortion is considered safe if the person providing or supporting the abortion is trained and an evidence-based method that is appropriate to the pregnancy duration is used. MSF’s medical projects provide abortion in alignment with these criteria. In general, MSF personnel use medication abortion or manual vacuum aspiration (MVA) to provide care. These methods are extremely safe and effective in ending a pregnancy. In fact, abortion is safer than many common health services, including a shot of penicillin and tooth extraction.

MSF also supports self-managed abortion. This refers to a method in which an individual takes abortion medications outside of a medical setting. Self-managed abortion is just as safe and effective as a facility-based approach if the person has access to accurate information, quality medications, and respectful support throughout the process, if desired. It also increases access to safe abortion care for marginalized and underrepresented people, and those who live far away from health care facilities. Self-care interventions like self-managed abortion uphold patient’s bodily autonomy and support them to make decisions about and take the lead in their own care.

For more information on the methods utilized by MSF to provide safe abortion care, you can visit our medical guidelines: medicalguidelines.msf.org.

A safe abortion with pills is over 95 percent effective and is extremely safe, with less than a 1 percent chance of severe complications. Mozambique 2023

2. Safe abortion care saves lives

Pregnant people in crisis-affected settings are at greater risk of experiencing adverse health outcomes. In some cases, abortion is necessary to save the person’s life or preserve their health.

Lifesaving care

“A few years ago, I was on assignment with MSF in a country where access to abortion is heavily restricted. One night a woman came in, bleeding heavily, with a life-threatening pregnancy complication.

“The team gathered to discuss the best way to help our patient. In order to save her life, we needed to help her end the pregnancy safely. Not everyone on the team agreed with abortion. But despite our different values and convictions, we were united by a fundamental truth: that we were all there to save this patient’s life and limit her suffering.

 

When people are denied access to safe abortion care, they are at higher risk of resorting to unsafe methods that can lead to severe or life-threatening complications. Unsafe abortion is a leading cause of maternal mortality, causing an estimated 22,800—31,000 maternal deaths per year, worldwide.

What makes an abortion unsafe

According to the World Health Organization, an abortion is unsafe if the person providing the abortion does not have the necessary skills or if the abortion takes place in an environment that does not meet minimal medical standards.

Health consequences of unsafe abortions

Safe abortion care is not resource-intensive to provide. When safe abortion is legal and accessible, complications are rare and generally do not require complex treatment.

However, complications due to unsafely induced abortion require emergency care to prevent long-term health consequences and death. At MSF, we regularly see patients experiencing severe and life-threatening conditions and injuries due to unsafe abortion, including severe hemorrhage, sepsis (severe general infection), poisoning, uterine perforation, or damage to other internal organs. Some patients die before arriving at a hospital; others need major surgery to survive, and some are left permanently disabled.

Resorting to unsafe abortion

“There were two young girls from the same family—both 15 years old and pregnant. They wanted to continue with their schooling. So, after getting advice from their friends, they secretly went into the bush looking for traditional herbs.

“They prepared the herbs and drank them, thinking that this remedy would cause an abortion. The girls began to have abdominal complications. Their bellies became swollen. They were in pain. They were crying.

“Their parents took them to the hospital. Both girls died within minutes of each other. They died as a result of poisoning from the traditional plants they used to induce abortion. This happens a lot here.

3. Legal and policy barriers to abortion negatively affect people’s health and well-being

Laws and policies restricting or banning access to safe abortion do not reduce abortion-seeking behavior, nor do they affect the need for care, or protect people from complications related to unsafe abortion.

The impact of abortion-related legal and policy restrictions on patients’ health

In contexts when abortion is illegal or otherwise restricted through laws or policies, individuals carrying an unintended pregnancy may have no choice but to resort to unsafe abortion methods. When abortion is criminalized, individuals are less likely to seek timely medical attention if complications occur due to fears of prosecution. In one year, MSF treated more than 2,800 cases of unsafely induced abortion in Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC). A study of MSF health facilities in DRC found that women and girls experiencing abortion-related complications delayed accessing care due to fears of legal and societal repercussions.

The criminalization of abortion has broader harmful implications for health providers and personnel as it may also impede sexual and reproductive health service delivery more generally. A study by MSF and partners on unsafe abortion morbidity and mortality in Nigeria found that providers working in contexts restrictive toward safe abortion care could be cautious to support access to other sexual and reproductive health services. Among providers surveyed in Nigeria, 79 percent reported that they would seek spousal consent before providing patients with contraception, and 60 of providers would seek parental consent for contraception if the patient was a minor. When asked the same question about post-abortion care—92 percent of providers said they would seek spousal consent, and 88 percent said they would seek parental consent if the patient was a minor.

If a health provider has to evaluate legal and criminal risks before providing a patient with care, the resulting delay could be dangerous for the patient’s health and well-being, especially in emergencies. Restrictive laws and policies on abortion worsen health equities by creating barriers to safe abortion care that disproportionately impact marginalized and underrepresented people.

Restrictive laws and policies on abortion worsen health equities by creating barriers to safe abortion care that disproportionately impact marginalized and underrepresented people.

In 2022, the United States Supreme Court overturned decades of legal precedent recognizing abortion access as a constitutional right set by Roe v. Wade in 1973. MSF is concerned that the loss of the constitutional right to abortion in the US will lead to terrible health outcomes for all people who can become pregnant, particularly people of color and those with limited resources to access care in states where abortion is not restricted.

Although decriminalization and the elimination of legal and policy restrictions to abortion are important steps, they do not alone guarantee the availability of safe abortion care, particularly in places in which abortion was previously legally prohibited or heavily restricted. Health systems respond slowly and inconsistently to change and persisting knowledge gaps and resistance from health workers may hinder access to safe abortion care. In some cases, people may not be aware of their options for safe abortion care or how to access it. In Colombia, for example, despite significant decriminalization of abortion over a decade ago, MSF teams working in the port cities of Buenaventura and Tumaco have found general ignorance about the current scope of safe abortion care, including among health care workers.

Safe abortion should be legal and regulated like any other medical procedure to ensure that all people have access to essential care.

4. Abortion is an essential component of sexual and reproductive health

Access to safe abortion care is a critical, lifesaving part of sexual and reproductive health care, one that safely supports patients who do not wish to be pregnant. In the settings where MSF works, safe abortion care is an effective intervention to prevent maternal mortality and suffering.

Sexual and reproductive health services at MSF

Providing sexual and reproductive health services, including safe abortion care and post-abortion care, has long been part of our health programming. In 2023, MSF teams around the world provided 54,500 consultations for safe abortion care, the majority in African countries, along with 31,000 consultations for post-abortion care, most taking place in Afghanistan, Yemen, South Sudan, and Bangladesh.

In addition to providing safe abortion and post-abortion care, MSF provides contraceptive counseling and access to a range of contraceptive methods. Our projects provide a variety of contraceptive methods to help patients prevent unintended pregnancy and/or STI transmission. MSF aims to provide the full range of contraceptives, including implants, intrauterine devices, injectables, oral contraceptive pills, condoms, and emergency contraception.

Even when individuals have access to contraception, they can still experience an unintended pregnancy and require access to safe abortion care.

Access to quality contraceptive care, including accurate information and a mix of methods, can be an important and positive force in the lives of patients, their families, and communities. At the same time, increasing access to contraceptives must always be accompanied by respect for contraceptive autonomy, wherein patients are supported in their decision regarding whether to use contraception, which methods to use or not use, when to use them, and when to not use them. This means that we support patients to decide for themselves what they want regarding contraceptive use and help them achieve that.

Contraception is not, however, a replacement for safe abortion care. Even when individuals have access to contraception, they can still experience an unintended pregnancy and require access to safe abortion care. As part of our commitment to medical ethics and patient-centered care, MSF provides a range of sexual and reproductive health services to meet the needs of our patients.

5. Abortion is a matter of bodily autonomy

MSF recognizes that it is not the role of health providers to scrutinize the reasons why someone might seek an abortion.

We respect our patients’ decisions and provide them with accurate and comprehensive information, so they can make informed decisions about their own bodies. Regardless of what these decisions are, it is our responsibility to provide them with safe and high-quality care.

We know that there are often serious and detrimental consequences on people’s lives when they are denied access to abortion. Supporting abortion as health care is a powerful way to prevent poor outcomes and improve people’s well-being.  Anyone who seeks an abortion—no matter their reason—is deserving of high-quality and dignified care.

Complete Article HERE!

The Sexual Revolution Has Been Great

— For Men

By Charles Runels, MD

During the month of September, Sexual Health Awareness Month, it may help to notice something: Men and their doctors have significantly more options to help with sexual function than do women and their clinicians. Moreover, the education of physicians regarding the examination and treatment of women for sexual dysfunction has been and remains, even now in 2024, much less thorough than for men.

Not convinced? Let’s take a quick tour.

The New Sexual Revolution and the Growing Anger

photo of Newsweek 50 Shade edition

Around the time of the release of the book and movie 50 Shades of Grey, Newsweek put the cultural sensation on its cover.

I bought the magazine at the airport and, while waiting for my plane, showed the story to a woman sitting next to me. “What do you think — is this the new ‘sexual revolution’?” I asked her.

She glanced at the cover and answered as accurately as if she had written the article: “In the ’60s, it became okay for women to have sex; now, it’s okay for women to demand good sex.”

I would add to that: Women are demanding good sex, and they want to define for themselves what “good” means.

That social revolution rages, still.

You would think that the demand would bring a corresponding response in clinical medicine. You would be wrong. Although efforts in some sectors are heroic, overall, the results are lagging the forward movement of women wanting better sex.

The Lag in Sexual Education

To examine the progression of the education of physicians regarding the treatment of female sexual dysfunction (FSD), Codispoti and colleagues examined the curricula of seven medical schools in and around Chicago. They found the following: Only one institution identified all anatomic components of the clitoris — one! Four of the seven discussed the physiology of the female orgasm. Only three of the seven highlighted the prevalence and epidemiology of FSD or the treatments for FSD. Only one of the seven explained how to do a genitourinary physical exam specific to assessing FSD.

When assessing obstetrics and gynecology clinical materials, sexual pleasure, arousal, and libido were not included anywhere in the curricula.

I have been teaching physicians about the therapies I developed (over 5000 clinicians in 50-plus countries over the past 14 years). During those sessions, I often stop the class and ask, “Who in here was taught how to retract the foreskin and examine the penis for phimosis?”

All hands will go up.

Then I will ask, “Who in here was taught in medical school how to retract the clitoral hood and examine the clitoris for phimosis?”

Not once has anyone raised a hand.

The Sex Remedies Gap

When I first published research offering support for using platelet-rich plasma to improve sexual function in women, women had not one drug approved by the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for the treatment of sexual dysfunction — none. Men had over 20. Today, men have a growing number of FDA-approved drugs for erectile dysfunction, including the “fils“; women have three.

Women have access to only one FDA-approved medication that primarily affects the genitalia: prasterone. This drug is indicated only for the treatment of pain in postmenopausal women. It does not directly enhance desire or improve orgasms. Said another way, although the incidence of sexual dysfunction is higher in premenopausal women than in other groups, they do not have a single approved medication designed to improve the function of their genitalia.

The other two of the three available drugs — flibanserin and bremelanotide — primarily affect the brain and could accurately be called psychoactive agents. They are available only for premenopausal women to improve desire. Flibanserin resulted in one extra sexual encounter per month on average, and patients are advised to avoid alcohol while using the drug. The other can make you vomit.

I do think all three of these treatments can be of great help to some women. I am not advising their disappearance. But in contrast to what is available to men, they are woefully inadequate.

Historical Perspective

In 1980, the medical establishment believed “most instances of acquired impotence are psychogenic.” Then, with the accidental discovery of the benefits of phosphodiesterase type 5 inhibitors , we realized that most cases of male sexual dysfunction involve the vasculature of the genitalia, not the neuroses of the brain. Yet, our two FDA-approved drugs for women with sexual dysfunction are designed to affect the brain. Women have nothing but off-label therapies to improve the function of the genitalia.

Despite the fact research supports the use of testosterone in women for both libido and orgasm, and despite the fact millions of women are treated with testosterone off-label for the benefit of sexual function, the only widely used FDA-approved class of drugs for women that affects testosterone — birth control pills, by blocking pituitary hormone production (the way they prevent pregnancy) — lowers the production of testosterone.

One might wonder, considering our expanded understanding of the endocrinology of both men and women, at the irony of why it is acceptable to lower the testosterone level of an adolescent girl knowingly, as if her development did not require the hormone (such would never be acceptable in an adolescent male unless sexual transitioning were the goal); yet, we are fearful of giving testosterone to grown women who can no longer make it.

Premenopausal Women: An Orphan Population

The concept of “orphan populations” can partially explain the gap in available therapies between men and women.

Women of childbearing age are risky to study; so, with testosterone, for example, it is safer and cheaper for pharmaceutical companies to prove the benefits for men and ride the profits from the off-label use for women. I don’t mean to condemn the manufacturers of testosterone, only to point out the phenomenon of why up to 30% of the prescriptions written by a primary care physician are off-label; off-label use is common among cardiologists (46%); up to 90% of children in the hospital receive at least one off-label drug; and approval of drugs for premenopausal women is more expensive than approval of drugs for men.

What Can Be Done?

The regrettable situation does not reflect evil intent on the part of regulators, educators, or physicians. But the gap between what women want and what medical education and the pharmaceutical-regulatory complex are providing is intolerably wide.

First, I would recommend a standard, required curriculum for the study of female sexual anatomy and function be established and widely adopted by medical schools. The reproductive system contains different components and a different purpose from the orgasm system, with modest overlap. Both systems should be taught in every medical school.

Second, physicians should be required to undergo a course in understanding their own sexuality. Research demonstrates doctors will avoid conversations about sex, and it seems to me this could be secondary to being uncomfortable with their own sexuality. After all, to talk with a patient about sex, you cannot be fearful of where the conversation may lead.

Third, the FDA might reconsider the requirements for the approval of drugs for FSD. Currently, to approve a drug for men, an objective finding — ie, an erection — can be sufficient. However, a higher bar, “satisfaction,” which is subjective, must be obtained with women.

Regenerative therapies have proved helpful but are not yet widely adopted; more grant money for the study of regenerative therapies would be a good start here.

Finally, by the definition of FSD, a woman must be psychologically distressed. The idea of sex is not pleasure alone. Sexual function affects family relationships, emotional health, confidence, even sleep, as well as the emotional well-being of the children who live in the house. Saying women are wonderfully and mysteriously made may be poetic, but it is not an excuse for not learning more and closing the gaps.

Complete Article HERE!

10 things you need to know about sex and dating at university

By Serena Smith

Freshers’ week is nigh: as I write this, hordes of 18-year-olds are likely raiding their parents’ drawers for knives and forks, panic-buying overpriced clothes from Urban Outfitters, and fruitlessly trying to identify their future flatmates via a number of impenetrable Facebook Freshers’ groups.

If you are one of these lucky incoming students: good luck! While you’re probably excited at the prospect of moving somewhere where there’s a bit more to do than get drunk on a park bench and traipse around a desolate ‘retail park’, it’s also totally normal to feel anxious as Freshers’ week looms.

The first few weeks of university have a reputation for being fun, a little chaotic, and, yes, prime time for casual sex. But if you’re panicked at the thought of having to navigate it all, don’t fret – we’ve compiled a handy list of our ten best tips for how to approach dating, sex, and relationships in your first year of university.

DO BREAK UP WITH YOUR SIXTH FORM PARTNER

I’m sorry, but they are not the love of your life. Yes, even if you lost your virginity to them; even if the train between Leeds and Nottingham is only two hours long; even if you’ve already planned your one-year anniversary dinner at Pizza Express. If you don’t heed this warning, you will break up two years down the line and be forever haunted by the realisation that you a) blew your shot with the hot guy you met at the student union bar who now has a beautiful girlfriend and b) wasted £692 on Trainline tickets to Nottingham.

DON’T BECOME OBSESSED WITH THE FIRST PERSON (MAN) WHO IS NICE TO YOU

For those heading to uni already single, I get it; teenage boys are cruel and you’ve probably spent the last few years internalising the idea that you are ugly and freakish and fundamentally unlovable. But the first man to treat you with a modicum of respect probably isn’t the love of your life either. If anything he’s probably a mental narcissist who’s sniffed out how insecure you are and is planning on putting you through the ringer with some seriously fucked-up mind games (it’s not like I have firsthand experience of this or anything haha).

Then again, maybe this is a canon event for anyone with cripplingly low self-esteem, so go for it if you want, I guess. Character building etc x

Fanciable people are everywhere at uni: keep your eyes peeled and your heart open

DO FALL IN LOVE WITH EVERYONE

None of this is to say you ought to swear off dating during your first year of university: conversely, this is the perfect time to sow your wild oats. Try to find romance everywhere. Allow yourself to be delusional with it: why not kid yourself into thinking the fit guy in your English seminar is hopelessly in love with you because he said your thoughts on Heart of Darkness were “interesting”? Why not fantasise about the myriad ways you could possibly introduce yourself to the sweet-looking girl you always walk past in the library? Fanciable people are everywhere at uni: keep your eyes peeled and your heart open.

You might never shag – let alone speak to – most of these people, but that’s half the fun. “Fantasy love is much better than reality love” or whatever Andy Warhol said.

DO SHAG YOUR FRIENDS

Listen. Maybe this is bad advice, but I don’t care. You can’t say you think everyone on Hinge is ugly and narcissistic and then write off lovely Matt from the film society because ‘it would be weird’ because you’re ‘like brother and sister’. You are not like brother and sister: you met three weeks ago and have probably both fantasised about shagging one another. Get drunk and have a little kiss at least. Life’s too short.

(One caveat: do not shag your first-year flatmate. People repeat this advice for a reason.)

DO BUY A VIBRATOR

You don’t have to worry about your mum intercepting your Lovehoney parcel or hearing the muffled buzz of a bullet through your bedroom wall any longer – enjoy the freedom!

DON’T ‘FORGET’ TO CHANGE YOUR BED SHEETS FOR THE ENTIRETY OF YOUR FIRST TERM

This one is largely aimed at all the straight, male freshers of the world. It’s not nice to bring someone back to your room and expect them to get into sheets which reek of must and semen.

And while we’re on the topic, don’t be afraid to inject some personality into your room too. It doesn’t have to be Architectural Digest-worthy but most women will think you’re a serial killer if the only ‘decoration’ in your bedroom is a PS5 perched atop a sad pile of the textbooks needed for your course. Get a plant, at least.

DON’T BE WEIRD ABOUT CASUAL RELATIONSHIPS

Having casual sex with someone doesn’t mean you’ve got carte blanche to treat them like a sex toy with an annoying human appendage. Don’t bolt out the door as soon as you’ve wiped the cum off your thighs: stay for a glass of water and a cuddle and maybe an episode of something. Smile if you walk past them on campus. Reply to their texts in a timely manner. It’s not hard.

Having casual sex with someone doesn’t mean you’ve got carte blanche to treat them like a sex toy with an annoying human appendage

DO BE SAFE

On a more serious note, do use condoms and try to remember to carry them with you (whether you have a dick or not).

Plus, if you haven’t already, it’s a good idea to consider some form of long-term contraception if you’re worried about an unplanned pregnancy (PSA for anyone with prudish parents: they don’t need to know. You’re an adult. It’s your business, not theirs).

If you have had unprotected sex, get tested: you can access STI and STD testing at a local sexual health clinic or GP surgery. You can also order free and discreet tests online. If you’re worried about an unplanned pregnancy, you can also get the morning after pill from most sexual health clinics, GP surgeries, or pharmacies. You may also be able to get the it for free on the NHS, but you may have to pay at pharmacies like Boots. Men: if any of your sexual partners has to pay for the morning after pill, don’t be a dick – split the cost with them.

DON’T DITCH YOUR FRIENDS FOR A PARTNER

Not because you’ll have no shoulder to cry on if things go south with your partner – more because it’s just a shitty thing to do to your friends. Your mates will carry you through uni, and if you’ve got good ones, they’ll carry you through post-grad life too. Don’t treat them like they’re playing second fiddle to your partner.

DO HAVE FUN

Navigating love and sex at uni is not easy by any means. One day you will probably find yourself sobbing into your McDonald’s order over a man who doesn’t care if you live or die. You will probably call one of your Hinge matches while drunk and say something so toe-curlingly embarrassing that the next day you’ll look into the logistics of transferring to the University of Strathclyde. You will probably break someone’s heart too. But university is probably the first and last time in your life where you will be parachuted into the midst of a ready-made community of hot, interesting people, with all the time in the world to go on dates, have sex, and, yes, even fall in love. Make the most of it.

Complete Article HERE!

10 Men’s Sexual Health Questions That Are Too Embarrassing to Ask

Sometimes asking questions about sex can be embarrassing—even for adults. Here are questions ranging from alcohol and sex to ejaculation disorders. Sometimes asking questions about sex can be embarrassing—even for adults. Here are ten common questions men ask their Men’s Health providers at University of Utah Health ranging from alcohol and sex to ejaculation disorders.

1. Do Different Sex Positions Increase or Decrease Chances of Pregnancy?

No. Regardless of what sexual position you use, vaginal sex can cause pregnancy.

2. Can I Drink Alcohol With Viagra and Cialis?

Yes, there will not be a bad interaction between the two. Keep in mind that when you drink alcohol, your erection may not be as firm and the medication may not work as well.

3. Is There a Surgery That Can Increase the Size of My Penis?

Even an implanted penile prosthetic will not increase the size of your penis. If you are overweight, getting to your ideal body weight will help restore some of the length you have lost since gaining weight.

Many men will ask about injections to add girth and if there is a procedure to increase penis length. The AUA (American Urological Association) considers fat injections (to increase penile girth) and suspensory ligament division surgery (to increase length) to be unsafe and ineffective.

4. Is My Penis Average in Size Compared to Other Men?

This is a question that is hard to answer, and one that many men wonder about. There are many different techniques to measure penis length, including the amount of force the clinician uses to stretch the penis.

Also, some men will see a significant change in penis length once it is erect. Others will notice that their penis only becomes more rigid. There is not a number that men should set as their benchmark.

Some medical conditions and surgical procedures can reduce the length of your penis. We cannot always restore the length you lose.

The biggest take-home for patients regarding this is to keep a healthy weight. Get care if you feel like your erections are not rigid enough or if you have other concerns about your penis.

5. How Long Should My Erection Last During Sex?

The answer to this question is completely different per person. There is not a standard time that all men should be able to maintain an erection.

For most men, the goal is to get an erection that is rigid enough for penetrative sex and that lasts until both partners are satisfied. We counsel patients that if an erection has lasted over three to four hours and is painful, they should get care with the nearest emergency room. This condition is called priapism.

6. What Is Considered Premature Ejaculation?

There is not a standard amount of time that an erection should last before ejaculating. The AUA defines premature ejaculation as “ejaculation that occurs sooner than desired, either before or shortly after penetration, causing distress to either one or both partners.”

There is not a lab test that can determine this. This diagnosis is made based on a patient’s report and a physician assessment. Treatment options are available. Your provider can help you decide which is best for you.

7. You Don’t Ejaculate After an Orgasm—What Causes This?

Various surgeries or medications can cause a man not to ejaculate after an orgasm. This is called anejaculation. The semen can also go backwards into the bladder, which is called retrograde ejaculation. Common causes of anejaculation can be associated with:

  • Prostatectomy or other prostate procedures such as transurethral resection of the prostate (TURP)
  • Taking Flomax (Tamsulosin)
  • Diabetes
  • Nerve injuries

8. Are Orgasms and Ejaculation Different?

Yes. Typically, an orgasm is the pleasure you experience while ejaculating. Men can have an orgasm without ejaculation. Men can also ejaculate before orgasm. Additionally, it’s possible to have an orgasm and ejaculation without an erection that is satisfying for sex. These conditions can have various causes, some that can be identified and treated, and others that can’t.

9. How Much Ejaculate Should I Have?

Ideally, men should have at least 1.5mL of ejaculate. This is equal to 0.304 US teaspoons, so it is not a large volume. As men age, the amount of ejaculate begins to decrease. If you notice a big difference suddenly, you’ll want to contact your provider.

It’s OK to have more, but if you are noticing significantly less over time, especially during the time you are trying to get pregnant, you should see a urologist.

10. Is a Curved Penis Normal?

Some men have a slightly curved penis that has been present for quite some time. If it is not painful and does not bother you, that is normal. If it’s painful or bothers you, then make an appointment with a men’s health doctor. Your doctor will evaluate your condition and discuss your treatment options.

If you notice a new curve to your penis and that bothers you with either pain or appearance, be seen by a doctor. This curve can impact your erections, which is another element that can be evaluated and treated.

Complete Article HERE!

Why your “later in life” bisexual awakening is actually right on time

— Coming out as queer later in life isn’t just normal—it’s a revolutionary act of self-discovery in a world that tries to keep women’s desires hidden.

By Melissa Fabello

I spend a lot of time online, especially in spaces where identity politics take center stage. And a trend I’ve seen gaining momentum since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic is the complexity of coming out as queer “later in life.” Type “late in life lesbians” into the search bar on TikTok, and you’ll see what I mean.

As someone who’s known she was queer since childhood and has identified as such since middle school (#earlyinlife?), it brings me an enormous amount of joy to see so many women connecting with their authentic sense of desire—and making content about it! And while I’m grateful for some of the experiences I had in queer adolescence and early adulthood (and traumatized by others), I also reject the idea that there are better or worse times in the life span to come out.

Especially for bisexual women, who face an enormous amount of stigma both within and outside of the queer community, the message that coming out after your twenties is an anomaly can add more pressure to an already difficult self-development process. After all, bisexual people are already at an increased risk of negative mental health outcomes due to what’s called “minority stress” (that is, the experience of being marginalized), compared to both straight and other queer people.

As bisexual women struggle both with cisheteronormativity (the cultural pressure to be cisgender and straight) and the norming of monosexuality (attraction to one gender) in our society, they already can doubt the validity of their orientation. Add to this a complex and nuanced relationship with compulsory heterosexuality (the patriarchal lie that marginalized genders must depend on cis men for access to power and resources), and we have a self-concept disaster waiting to happen.

According to a 2013 survey conducted by Pew Research Center, while the majority of LGBT adults (59%) report knowing they were queer in puberty and adolescence, a full 28% say they didn’t know until their twenties or later. And this latter experience is most highly reported by bisexuals (15%, as compared to 14% of lesbians and 3% of gay men).

But why? Why are women – and especially bisexual women – more likely to come out “later in life?” Well, not to put too fine a point on it, but the answer is cisheteropatriarchy (the combined influence of oppression against trans people, queer people, and gender minorities).

Women’s sexual development is different

Historically, when it comes to research, scientists have looked at how cis men operate – and then compare everyone else to that supposed baseline. Just look at how it took until recently for medicine to catch up with the fact that women experience heart attack symptoms differently! Unfortunately, but perhaps unsurprisingly, gendered sexuality research is no different.

Sexual development is just one area in which we’ve made the mistake of seeing cis men as the norm.

On average, cisgender men tend to experience their sexual peak in adolescence and early adulthood – that is, through their twenties. This is when they are the most desirous of sex and confident about their sexuality. After this, sperm count tends to lower, issues like erectile dysfunction start to arise, and sexual insecurity can creep in.

Cisgender women, on the other hand, generally report an increase in sexual self-knowledge, confidence, and desire as they age into mid-life. While physiological issues with sexuality also come up for women as they get older (they literally refer to pregnancy after 35 as “geriatric,” y’all), women’s psychological experience with sexuality only improves.

One study found that by their thirties, women feel like they have the experience to be sexually confident, especially as they shed insecurities about their bodies. When are women most sexually insecure? At 25.

As women age, we tend to shed the patriarchal socialization that has plagued us our entire lives. We become more comfortable in our bodies, more knowledgeable and vocal about what brings us sexual pleasure, and more curious about our erotic authenticity: “What do we want?” becomes an important mental refrain.

That this is the point in sexual development that many women come into their queerness – a desire pushed down by cisheteropatriarchal socialization – is no surprise. At the exact moment that women, regardless of orientation, are coming into their own sexually, queer identity questions can also pop up.

Queer identity development is its own thing

For my Masters degree in Human Sexuality Education, I had to take a course dedicated to psychological and sociological development across the lifespan. How this class was (brilliantly) taught is that week to week, we would add a theory to a physical representation of the lifespan set up in our classroom. “Oh, Erikson says that from 12-18, people struggle with themes of identity and confusion? Add that to the ‘adolescence’ column!”

There are countless theories on how our minds develop over time. And the question of queer identity has its own subset of developmental theories (here are just a few). For instance, D’Augelli that queer people go through several processes in order to come into their own; the first three are shedding straight identity, developing personal queer identity, and exploring their identity in social contexts.

Guess what—straight people don’t have to do!

Similar to how we can’t look at cisgender men and assume other genders have the same experiences, we can’t assume that queer people come into their sexual identity at the same time as straight people.

Straight people have very few obstacles to developing sexual identity. This is a simple fact of straight privilege. When institutions, media, and our families of origin normalize and celebrate heterosexuality, it’s relatively easy for straight people to see themselves represented and understand something intrinsic about themselves, even if it takes time to learn the language for it.

Queer identity development takes a different route – especially because so many queer people assume that they must, too, be cis and straight within the context of cisheteronormativity. Many queer and trans people, myself included, start off believing they must fit into the world around them, until they sense the nagging thought that there has to be another way.

When we notice our difference happens at different times for different people, depending on several factors: Were you able to talk to adults you trusted about your experience? Did you grow up in a more liberal or conservative environment? What role did religion play in your upbringing? And this is just the beginning of queer identity development! According to a 1979 framework developed by researcher Vivienne Cass, once a queer person notices their difference, there are still six more stages until they’re able to synthesize this into the totality of their lives.

For all of us, queerness takes time to know and accept.

Compulsory heterosexuality sucks

Let’s talk about how society pushes women into relationships with men, even when that might not be what they truly want. This idea, called compulsory heterosexuality, is about more than just assuming everyone’s straight – it’s about how our culture steers women away from relying on each other and into marriages with men.

Often misunderstood to be the same as cisheteronormativity – or, according to some misinformed folks on TikTok, something only lesbians experience – compulsory heterosexuality is a complex web of ideas. But writer Adrienne Rich popularized the term in 1980 arguing that the feminist movement needs to better understand lesbianism – not just as a sexual orientation, but as a way of life – in order to better undermine patriarchy.

In our culture, women tend to take care of one another. In fact, research shows that women are far more likely to go to their female friends for emotional support than they are to their male partners. Think back to some of the most transformative relationships you’ve had in your life, and I’m willing to bet that female best friends come up over and over again. And yet, we are actively taught through our socialization that the key to a happy, healthy life is marriage to a cis man (citation: every fairy tale ever).

So what does this mean for how we see women as potential partners – in love or in life? Rich says that society squashes women’s desire for each other, whether that’s for friendship, love, or sex. And it affects all women, not just lesbians.

For bisexual women, it gets even trickier. Particularly for those who find themselves “later in life” already committed to long-term, monogamous relationships with men, finally coming to terms with the depth of their queerness: “Well, now what?”

On the one hand, you might want to explore your queer side, but since you are attracted to men and you’re with one, it can feel easier to just ignore that part of yourself. Not because society tells you to, but because facing it feels too hard.

And it’s this pressure to bottle up and push down your queer desires can push you further and further from accepting your bisexuality, sometimes for years.

***

Combined, bisexual women’s access to their own authentic sense of desire (what feminist academics call “the erotic”) can be stunted – by no fault of their own! Bisexual women experience a deeply complex, and oftentimes painful, relationship to their queerness within cisheteropatriarchy.

So when they come out “later in life,” their newfound liberation should be celebrated, not stigmatized.

As we celebrate Bisexuality Visibility Week, let’s move beyond merely acknowledging that bisexual women are valid – but that their journey to their identity, in whatever form it takes, is valid too.

Complete Article HERE!

Let’s Talk About Sex and Cancer

— A cancer diagnosis can change your sex life, but patience, experimentation and communication can help you get back on track.

By Liz Highleyman

Sexuality is an important part of life that contributes to overall well-being. Getting a cancer diagnosis, undergoing treatment and becoming a survivor can affect sexual desire and function. Surgery, radiation and chemotherapy not only alter the body, but they can also change how patients—and their partners—feel about their bodies and about sex.

“Sexuality is not synonymous with sexual activity. It covers intimacy, desire, arousal, orgasm and satisfaction,” says Don Dizon, MD, director of the Pelvic Malignancies Program and the Sexual Health First Responders Clinic at Brown University Health Cancer Center. “When it functions normally, we don’t think about it, but when something negatively affects who we are sexually and how we experience pleasure, it can be quite distressing.”

Research suggests that as many as 90% of people with breast, gynecological or prostate cancers experience difficulties with sexual desire or function. For women, the most frequently reported problems include vaginal dryness or atrophy and pain during intercourse (dyspareunia). For men, erectile dysfunction is a common problem. People of any gender may experience loss of sexual desire (libido) and difficulty reaching orgasm.

Treatment for breast, cervical, ovarian or prostate cancers may involve removal of the ovaries or testes or use of hormone therapy to slow the growth of tumors with estrogen, progesterone or androgen (male hormone) receptors. This can put younger women into sudden menopause and can cause numerous side effects for postmenopausal women and men as well. In an effort to prevent cancer recurrence, such treatment may last for years.

But sexual problems are not only a concern for people with cancers that affect the reproductive system. Surgery or radiation for any type of cancer in the pelvic region can lead to scarring and damage to organs, nerves and blood vessels that play a role in sexual function. Treatment for anal cancer can impact the sex lives of gay men and others who enjoy anal sex. Some people with bladder or colorectal cancer will need an ostomy bag to collect urine or feces. One bright spot, however, is that the recent trend toward active surveillance, less invasive surgery, more targeted radiation therapy and lower medication doses can lessen negative outcomes.

Beyond the direct physical effects, cancer and its treatment can also take an emotional toll. Chemotherapy, other cancer medications and radiation can cause side effects such as fatigue, nausea and pain that can leave people uninterested in sex. Hair loss or weight changes due to chemotherapy or removal of a breast can lead to self-con­sciousness or a poor body image. And simply facing cancer can trigger stress, insomnia, anxiety and depression, all of which can kill the mood.

Often, the cancer experience brings couples closer together, but sometimes it can drive them apart. Partners might have a hard time understanding a lack of sexual interest and may need time to adapt to changes in appearance and function. Some partners may withdraw emotionally or fear that sex will cause harm. What’s more, changing roles—for example, when a spouse becomes a caregiver—can affect sexual relationships. Single people may have concerns about when to bring up cancer while dating, and they may be hesitant to start new relationships if their prognosis is uncertain.

“Sometimes cancer can make a relationship stronger. My partner was so loving and supportive, I fell more in love. But for some, it’s a deal-breaker,” says Annie Sprinkle, PhD, a former adult film star and current performance artist who holds a doctorate in human sexuality. “Cancer is going to change you. You have to accept that, and your partner has to accept it.”

Sprinkle was diagnosed with early breast cancer about 20 years ago and had lumpectomies, radiation and chemotherapy, which caused “instant menopause.” Years later, when she got scans after a car accident, doctors found signs of lung cancer, and she underwent surgery again. In characteristic fashion, Sprinkle and her partner, University of California Santa Cruz art professor Beth Stephens, PhD, made cancer a theme of their art.

Cancer patients and survivors can take steps to improve their sexual desire and function before, during and after treatment. Patience, experimentation and communication are keys to a better sex life.

For women, estrogen replacement therapy may improve menopausal symptoms, but this is often not possible for those with hormone-driven cancers. Estrogen creams or vaginal rings can relieve dryness and irritation without increasing the risk for cancer progression or recurrence. A recent study showed that Addyi (flibanserin), a drug that helps balance neurotransmitters in the brain, improved sexual desire, arousal and satisfaction for women with breast cancer. Modern breast surgery techniques are less likely to cause lasting changes in mobility and sensation. Most women have reconstructive surgery after breast removal, but going flat is also an option.

For men, decisions about testosterone replacement therapy to revive a flagging libido can be a balancing act between managing symptoms and minimizing the risk of cancer recurrence. For some men, drugs like Viagra (sildenafil) or Cialis (tadalafil) are effective for treating erectile dysfunction. Penile injections, inflatable implants or vacuum pumps may also be an option. Some experts recommend “erectile rehabilitation,” or regular use of medications and vacuum pumps to achieve an erection even when sex is not desired.

For everyone, eating a balanced diet, getting enough exercise, maintaining a healthy weight and getting adequate sleep contribute to overall quality of life, including sexual well-being. Studies have shown that aerobic exercise, pelvic floor exercises, yoga and meditation can help improve libido and sexual function. Exercises that strengthen the pelvic muscles, in particular, can reduce pain during intercourse, prevent urine leakage during sex and lead to firmer erections.

Time and patience can go a long way. Some sexual symptoms are likely to improve after treatment is completed. Nerves and blood vessels injured by surgery or radiation can sometimes repair themselves, but this can take months or even years. Give yourself time to heal before resuming vaginal or anal sex. Due to a waning libido, sex may not be as spontaneous as it used to be. You might need to plan ahead for when you have more energy or to give erectile dysfunction meds time to work. Adapting to physical and emotional changes can be a prolonged process for both the person with cancer and their partner.

“I like to say, the only answer to any question about sex is, ‘It depends.’ That’s spot-on when it comes to sex and cancer,” Sprinkle says. “Parts of your body might be numb or nervy or have scar tissue, or you can’t have weight on top of you. Forget everything and do it your way. There’s no right way—there’s just what works for you.”

Experimentation is key. Before resuming sex with a partner, it might be helpful to explore your own body and its changing sensations to figure out what feels good—or doesn’t—now. Tune in to novel sensations, and try new positions that might be more comfortable. Some people may choose to wear sexy clothing to hold a breast prosthesis in place or cover a chemo port or ostomy bag. Lubricants can relieve vaginal dryness—many different types are available. Likewise, there’s a wide variety of vibrators and other sex toys to try. Men who are unable to have an erection can usually still experience sexual sensations and learn to achieve orgasm without ejaculation. If intercourse is not possible, explore other ways to maintain intimacy. Your sex life may be different than it was before cancer, but it can still be pleasurable.

“Sometimes people have too narrow a definition of sex,” says Sprinkle. “Get out of the idea that sex is only about intercourse. Find what turns you on. If nothing does, at least have sensual pleasure, like massage or cuddling. Anything can be sex if it gives you pleasure or you find it sensual or erotic. Your sex life can become your pleasure life.”

Open communication is among the most important factors, both between partners and between people with cancer and their health care providers. Talk to your partner about how you’re feeling physically, mentally and emotionally. Discuss what you want out of your sex lives and how to satis­fy both of you. If this is difficult, a marriage or couples counselor or sex therapist might be able to help.

Early in your journey, have frank discussions with your care team—doctors, nurses, mental health therapists and social workers—about how cancer and its treatment could affect your sexual well-being and how to prevent or ameliorate problems. Some cancer centers have sexual health specialists and offer sexual rehabilitation programs. Forewarned is forearmed.

Unfortunately, a majority of cancer patients report that they did not receive adequate sexual health information before, during or after treatment. In part, this is due to a stereotype that older people are not interested in sex. Finding appropriate information can be especially challenging for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people. For their part, most oncologists say they never received training in managing sexual problems. Patients often say they don’t want to make their doctors uncomfortable, while doctors say they don’t want to make their patients uncomfortable. Don’t be afraid to make the first move.

“Sexuality does not have to be another part of one’s life ‘lost’ to cancer,” says Dizon. “To avoid conversations around sexuality after cancer robs people of the opportunity to fully participate in a domain that defines us as human beings.”

How condomless sex is driving the increase in STIs in Europe

– And what can be done about it

By

September still holds that back-to-school feeling for many of us, no matter how long ago we left the classroom. For many young people looking forward to freshers’ week or returning to their studies, though, the continuing rise in sexually-transmitted infections (STIs) might be good reason to revise guidance on safer sex and condom use to ensure their studies aren’t interrupted by an unwelcome infection.

In September 2023, the UK Health Security Agency urged students to use condoms and get tested regularly for STIs to help prevent the spread of infections. This is wise advice for everyone, not just students.

The most recent data from the European Centre for Disease Prevention and Control shows that syphilis cases rose by 34% from 2021 to 2022, chlamydia cases by 16% and gonorrhoea cases by 48%.

Reflecting broader European trends, Ireland – where my own research on sexual health is based – has also experienced a significant spike in STI cases. Health surveillance data show between 2019 and 2022, cases of chlamydia rose by 20%, gonorrhoea by 45%, and syphilis by 14%.

The incidence of STIs is notably high among young people, particularly those under 30. Women aged 20-24 have the highest notification rate for all STIs at 3088 per 100,000 population. Surveillance reports from 2023 indicate a 133% increase in gonorrhoea cases among women aged 20-24 and a 55% increase among males aged 15-19 since 2022.

Gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men (MSM) represent another key affected population in Ireland, accounting for 84% of gonorrhoea and 71% of syphilis infections in 2022.

Data on STI rates among migrants in Ireland are sparse, however, among new HIV diagnoses, the rate of bacterial STI co-infection was 17%, rising to 26% among MSM. Significant proportions of new HIV diagnoses were among people from Latin America (24%) and sub-Saharan Africa (20%).

European-wide data from the European MSM Internet Survey (EMIS) – an anonymous online survey for gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men – also indicate that migrants face barriers in engaging in safer sexual behaviours.

Obstacles can include inadequate knowledge of sexual and reproductive health, financial constraints, language barriers and experiences of stigma and discrimination. Around one in five refugees experience sexual violence (likely a conservative statistic given low reporting rates of rape and sexual assault), which means that they can be at increased exposure to STIs.

Compared to those born in their country of residence, the EMIS study reported higher rates of condomless sex among refugees, asylum seekers and those who migrated to live openly as gay or bisexual.

Decline in condom use

The decline in condom use is a major factor contributing to the rise in STIs, especially among key populations like young people and MSM.

So what’s driving this decline?

Unfortunately, we don’t know.

Our sexual health, like our health more broadly, is influenced by a complex interplay of individual, social, and structural factors. This perspective is known as the socio-ecological approach, which takes into account the social, political and policy factors that shape individual behaviour.

The impact on sexual health of recent significant shifts in the social, cultural and technological landscape are starting to come into focus, yet remain under-investigated.

For example, the proliferation of smartphone technology has meant an increase in the use of online dating apps and the ready availability of pornography. There is evidence that increased pornography use is associated with higher likelihoods of engaging in condomless sex, while dating app users report higher rates of gonorrhoea and chlamydia.

The availability of pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) has been crucial in reducing HIV rates among MSM and is an essential preventative tool. However, PrEP use is also associated with higher rates of STI diagnoses. Recreational drug use is another factor: MSM in Ireland diagnosed with an STI are 53% more likely to engage in drug use.

Housing instability has been linked to less safe sexual behaviours, meanwhile youth homelessness is increasing in Europe. For example, the number of young homeless people in Ireland increased by 57% between 2017-2022.

Inward migration to Ireland increased by 31% in 2023 and this may play a role. Barriers to accessing sexual health services for migrants are well documented. Concerns about access to condoms has been raised by national migrant rights organisation, Nasc.

Addressing the challenge

Development of interventions is key. Addressing socio-cultural and economic determinants of sexual health is also vital. It will require careful planning and investment from governments to improve education, access to housing, and living conditions more broadly, especially for marginalised populations. An environment that supports rather than hinders people to mind their health is essential to reduce the current uptick in STIs.

Enhancing access to services is crucial. The recent introduction of SH:24, a free at-home testing service, has improved access to testing in Ireland. Peer-led community testing programmes have proved successful in Dublin, but are lacking outside the capital.

We all have a right to a safe, healthy, and pleasurable sex life. By ensuring availability of and universal access to culturally appropriate services, education and information, and by implementing legal and policy frameworks that promote dignity, equality and non-discrimination, we can improve sexual health and stem the tide of STIs in Europe.

Complete Article HERE!

Sober sex is on the rise

— This is the month to try it

Avoid the ‘next morning regret’

By Ebony Leigh

With new stats revealing that the majority of Aussies prefer to boink without the booze, Sober October is a great time to give sex without the sauce a red hot go. 

It’s a tag that plenty of us wear proudly. “We’re Australian – we’re a nation of big drinkers,” we laugh, before raising another tinnie.

But what about when our rich culture of beers at the footy, pints at the pub and a few too many on a Friday starts to have ramifications on our sex lives?

Because that’s exactly what’s happening according to new data from Lovehoney, the leading sexual wellness brand.

A country of ‘next day regret’

When it comes to who’s done the dirty while drunk, seven in 10 (69 per cent) admitted that they’d had sex intoxicated, while a quarter of the nation (24 per cent) said that most of the one-night stands they’d had had been while drinking. This last stat was highest among 35 to 44 year olds with one in three (33 per cent) going home with someone after a boozer.

Which of course begs the question, was it any good? For 3.4 million Aussies the answer is tragically no, according to Lovehoney’s survey, with 16 per cent of people confiding that they’d had a negative experience while having drunken sex.

“Probably anyone who has had a drink and gone home with someone is going to have experiences like ‘next day regret’,” Lovehoney sex and relationship expert Christine Rafe tells Body+Soul. “Whether it’s something they said or something they did.”

Because while we think we need alcohol to give us a bit of Dutch courage to let go and lower our inhibitions, it doesn’t always turn out so well. “We think we are going to be more confident and more able to ask for things that are maybe outside of our character or things that we potentially wouldn’t do as our sober, fully conscious selves,” the expert explains.

But the thing about alcohol is that it impacts our blood circulatory system, which isn’t great for sexual function. “So, yes, confidence is one thing, but actually once you have a few drinks sometimes you can end up in situations where you find it more difficult to get or maintain an erection, or you experience difficulties with ejaculation or even the engorgement of the clitoris which is responsible for pleasure,” Rafe says.

Which is absolutely worth keeping in mind. “Consider what actually is the quality and the pleasure of the sexual experience when alcohol is affecting you from a physiological sense,” she suggests.

More Aussies prefer sober sex

The great news is that we might be turning a corner in the cornerstone of Australia’s drinking culture, with a sober lifestyle more on trend than ever. Lovehoney data shows that only half (53 per cent) of the country now drink regularly, while 15 no longer turn to booze and nine per cent have never tasted alcohol. This is largest in the 18 to 24 year old cohort, with 18 per cent not having ever picked up a drink.

Which leads us to the bedroom with 51 per cent of people saying they prefer to have sex sober and 42 per cent calling intimacy more enjoyable when they’re teetotal.

“Sober sex heightens the emotional connection because we can really connect with someone properly, and it opens the door for clearer communication,” says Rafe. “And also, it’s more pleasurable because we have more access to blood circulating to our genital region, which supports with arousal, pleasure and sexual function.”

It also makes future sex with that person even better. “When it comes to arousal, remembering a previous sexual experience acts as foreplay for the next one,” the sex and relationship expert says. “So we really want those memories to be clear so we can actually remember the things that we did.”

How to build sexual confidence without needing a drink

With Aussies reevaluating their relationship with alcohol, Rafe says there are plenty of ways to boost confidence in bed without a glass of grog.

#1. Practice sexual communication outside of sexual experiences

“Try writing down what you know you like and what you want,” the sexpert says, “and practicing that so you don’t need to have five wines to be able to say, ‘I really want you to go down on me’.”

#2. Plan sober dates

“Look for ideas that don’t involve bars or drinking,” Rafe encourages. “So I know Lovehoney has their Oh! Sexploration Vouchers 52 Weeks of Adventures set to guide couples through a year of exciting and spontaneous sexual experiences. So trying something like that can give you ideas for what to do on a casual date or even with a long term partner.”

#3. Get sexting 

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Take away the pressure and say it in a text instead. “If you feel like you don’t know how to be confident, sometimes sending something over text can help,” the intimacy expert says. “You could say, “I really want to try that new toy’, or “I really want you to go down on me’, or “I love the way you _ when we have sex, what I’d really love is to _.”

#4. When in doubt, make out 

“When people are nervous to initiate sex, they think they need alcohol for that,” Rafe says. “So initiate a make out instead. You don’t have to initiate full blown penetrative sex from the get go. Starting with, ‘I’m going to initiate to make out with this person’. And then once you have a bit of arousal, it actually supports your confidence in initiating something further. So you don’t have to initiate penetrative sex from moment one.”

Complete Article HERE!

The seven things only a sex therapist will tell you

— If your sex life is awkward, unenjoyable or simply non-existent, a sex therapist shares her top tips to improve intimacy

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As a sex therapist, I make space for people to let go of what they think should be happening and move towards what they truly desire. I often see clients who are stuck in their sex lives, or not having the kind of pleasure they want. There are seven key things I have learnt in my time as a sex therapist that can help individuals break free and improve their sex lives.

If people avoid talking about sex, it is often for the wrong reasons

It’s so common for people to be avoidant about the topic of sex that the underlying reasons for it are rarely even considered. I have found that at the root of any avoidance or awkwardness there is usually something the individual has catastrophised. They avoid talking about sex as, unconsciously, they believe that doing so could reveal catastrophic truths, such as that their partner totally fantasises about someone else or that others are far more competent in the bedroom than they are. These unexamined worst fears are rarely the reality.

A client may say “I think he really doesn’t find me attractive anymore, since I’ve given birth” and my response is “OK, but what makes you think that, have you asked him? Have you asked what might be going on with him, or been curious about the changes in your sex life?”

If I could give only one piece of advice, it would be to let go of assumptions and expectations and find out what is going on with your partner.

Shame is the ultimate passion killer

Individuals often carry unconscious shame, which can greatly impact desire. Feelings of shame may be linked to negative sexual experiences but shame can date back to childhood. It can be surprising for people to realise that their sex life is being affected by beliefs and feelings originally unrelated to sex. For example, a child may have learnt to be ashamed of their own needs if they were expected to suppress them in favour of other people’s. As an adult, this may cause them to focus only on their partner and to totally disconnect from their own pleasure and enjoyment. In therapy, this relates to what we call conditions of worth: believing that we are worthy only if we meet certain conditions. Unpicking these conditions of worth can pave the way for far greater passion.

One particular client, a single woman in her 30s, was struggling with sexual shame. We talked about a difficult sexual experience and she came to the realisation that the experience had not been consensual. Once she was able to see this for what it actually was, and to think about how her body had felt, the shame began to dissipate. She then reframed the experience as sexual assault. It was a tough realisation, but this alignment was ultimately incredibly freeing for her.

Libido and orgasm type can be changed

Many aspects of a sexual relationship can be transformed by therapeutic work. A mismatched libido is very common but there is great potential for sex drives to become more in sync. There is a playful erotic exercise which can be really helpful: the couple ‘show and tell’ by demonstrating to each other what they like through self-pleasure. Couples find this game-changing for increasing their desire and libido and I highly recommend anyone in a trusting partnership try this exercise.

Similarly, people may have a fixed way to reach orgasm, but this too can change. By spending time focussing on their senses and exploring touch, they may discover, for example, that they can orgasm from nipple play.

A recently divorced woman in her 50s came to see me because she was feeling lost within her sexual self. She had been a wife and a parent for more than half her life and was keen to enter into a new form of relationship and sexual adventure but didn’t know where to start. After working on self pleasure and becoming more aware of her body’s responses, she found that she had a new fantasy life, focussed on being dominant rather than submitting. She went from low confidence and self-worth to loving her body and feeling empowered about having choices; she was reminded that her relationships, and her life, were in her control.

An achievement mindset is not helpful when it comes to sex

Goal-orientated pressure can really diminish sex. This can be particularly apparent for clients who are trying to conceive, as the pressure of timing can lead to difficulty maintaining an erection. But striving to ‘achieve’ can cause psychosexual issues in many other scenarios. People who experience issues such as vaginismus, erectile dysfunction, delayed, early or absent ejaculation will often be feeling a great deal of pressure – from a partner, societal norms, or themselves.

People would be far less concerned about achieving certain sexual goals if they knew the wide variation in people’s experience and knowledge. Some women are unfamiliar with their own genitals; some married couples have never had sex; some men do not know how to perform penetration. I see couples, for example, who have been to the doctors for their struggle with conception; yet when they come to see me and we talk it becomes apparent that penetration isn’t actually occurring. Little to no sexual experience is far more common than many would assume.

Planning sex can be genuinely sexy – plus it reduces the risk of rejection

People tend to expect that there should be total spontaneity in their sex life; that they should be having unpredictable sex every other day of the week, on the kitchen counter; and that it should all just ‘happen’. However, for most people, life simply gets in the way. The expectation of spontaneity also means that sex isn’t talked about beforehand; couples assume they should be completely aligned and just know what each other wants. But this is unrealistic.

People are usually resistant to planning sex, but it can be very sexy and erotic – communication throughout the day about the where and the when can build up the arousal. Equally, deciding in advance not to have sex, feels so much better than one person spontaneously initiating, only to have the other person turn away.

Planning sex was transformative for a couple in their 30s who, when they first came to see me, thought they would never be able to have sex again. The woman had MS, the man had painful arthritic hips, and every time they tried to have sex one or both of them would be in pain and take days to recover. Attempting to have sex had become a tense and sad experience. Initially we worked on building intimacy and connection through non-penetrative exercises, then we thought carefully about their bodies and came up with different sexual positions for them to try including the use of supportive cushions. They were delighted to be able to be intimate in these new ways.

Authenticity, not perceived attractiveness, is what is important

So many people, regardless of gender, have negative feelings about their body, worry about their appearance or about being ‘enough’ for their partner. But it’s not looks that make a satisfying sexual connection: it is feelings – genuine and authentic feelings. Authenticity is the antidote to shame and insecurity and the key to intimacy.

If people are struggling with insecurity we can look at the relationship; whether they are accepted for who they are, and whether they take pride in all that their body does for them. Working with people around their truth, their authentic self, is powerful.

There is such a thing as sex homework

Sex homework can involve journaling, self exploration exercises or whole body massage. But a classic sex homework task is to temporarily avoid penetration. This removes the perceived goal from sex and allows for more focus on sensations and emotions. This can be transformative for people, even if they’ve been having sex together for years.

It is my hope that, regardless of where they are now, people can release fear and shame and experience more joy and pleasure. Which is often easier than they think!

Complete Article HERE!