Category: REVIEW CREW

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Two Lovelies from LELO

This is Part 2 of our LELO reviews.  Somehow missed Part 1?  Not to worry; find it HERE!

Dr Dick Review Crew members — Denise and Hank & Glenn do the honors.

Denise is up first with IRIS.
IRIS by LELO $129.00

Denise

I’m in love with LELO!  I feel like I’ve scored the Review Crew jackpot with my IRIS.

I have the pleasure of introducing you to IRIS, the beautifully designed and multifunctional silicone vibrating dildo, I mean insertable…I mean pleasure object.  Sheesh! LELO is so freakin’ high-end that they’ve taken it upon themselves to euphemize their sex toys as pleasure objects.  I say; “a rose by any other name…”

I’ve never been one to buy into the hype about sex toys, especially hype generated by a toy’s manufacturer about its own products.  But somehow “pleasure object” fits in this case.   LELO spares no expense in treating their customers like we’re someone special.  I mean, everything from the stylish upscale (some would say overkill) packaging to the 1-year LELO warranty confidently states quality.  Is there another toy on the market that comes with a warranty?

IRIS comes in three appealing girly colors, mine is pink.  Judging just from the color palette this pleasure object is obviously part of LELO Femme line.  They also have their Homme line that features guy toys in guy colors.   I’m not so particular about color, but I’ll bet a man would be less inclined to buy an IRIS because of the color.  And that’s too bad, because this toy could easily be enjoyed by either gender or everyone in between.

IRIS is also rechargeable, so a big hurray for that!  A three-hour wall charge gives it up to five hours of power.  Mmmm!  And because it’s fully charged at the factory, you can start playing with the IRIS immediately.  Extra points for that!

(By the way, I’m trying to be as responsible as I can with my motorized toys.  Whenever possible I choose rechargeable.  When that’s not and option I always use rechargeable batteries.  To do less is a both expensive and decidedly un-GREEN.)

The insertable part of IRIS is made of firm high-grade silicone molded into a stylized (slightly curved) flower bud shape.  Very appealing!  I like a little texture to my dildos, so this is perfect for me.  And get this; there two separate motors in this baby — one in the shaft and one in the tip. These can be controlled separately or together.

Despite the two motors, the level of vibration can’t compare to a couple of other vibes I own.  That actually surprised me, because I was expecting the IRIS to jump out of my hand on the high speed. The sensations are pleasant enough, and I could easily distinguish between the vibrations produced in the shaft as opposed to those produced in the tip.  Just don’t expect it to knock your socks off.   The motors, however, are very quiet; a feature that is very important to me.  I hate it when a vibe sounds like a lawnmower.

You’ll probably want to use lube with IRIS, because she’s thicker than a lot of toys.  Be sure you use only a water-based lube on a beautiful silicone pleasure object like this.  Using a silicone-based lube will destroy IRIS.  Because of it’s length, the pleasure is deep as well as full.

The control button is lighted and it allows me to increase the intensity of vibrations as well as cycle through the five pulsation modes.  However, the controls in the handle aren’t particularly easy to adjust with lubed fingers.  This can be pretty frustrating.

Oh, and here’s something really important; IRIS is splash proof, not waterproof.  There is little rubber cover that protects the charging port from moisture.  But if you somehow get water in there, be sure to let the thing dry completely before you try to recharge.

Clean up is easy with mild soap and warm water. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.

Besides the elegant gift box IRIS comes in, LELO also includes a satin pouch to keep her in between uses.  Now that’s thoughtful.

With proper care, IRIS will last a very long time.  It’s all quality all the time over there at LELO.  Undoubtedly, IRIS is pricey!  But in this case, you can be sure that you are getting your money’s worth.  This high-end product makes the perfect gift for someone special.  And since June is wedding month, why not put a smile on any brides face, and possibly every groom’s too.  Give the blushing couple a LELO instead of a toaster and you’ll shake things up a little.

Next, Glenn & Hank show us BO

LELO BO $79.00

Glenn & Hank

Hank:  “This is the fanciest cockring I ever did see!”
Glenn:  “Pretty damned expensive too.”
Hank:  “Yeah, but hardly the most expensive one I own.  That honor goes to my Silver Tongue Cock Ring.”
Glenn:  “Yeah, but that one doesn’t vibrate like BO does.  And the BO is rechargeable; so you can’t beat that!”
Hank:  “LELO calls BO a gentleman’s pleasure object.  I call it a vibrating cockring.  I mean, please!”
Glenn:  “Ya got no class, Hank!  I like the pleasure object concept; it’s so elegant.”
Hank:  “You weren’t thinking about elegant the other day when I had my cock buried up to the hilt in your bung and the BO was shiverin’ your ass lips.”
Glenn:  “True!  I was thinking; ‘Oh sweet mystery of life at last I found you!’”
Hank:  “You are such a freak!”
Glenn:  “Well when it comes to my hole, you know I am.”
Hank:  “Let’s get back to the review, shall we? BO actually has two parts — the ring itself and the vibrating attachment.  The ring is made of a soft, flexible material.  The small print on the LELO site says this material is Thermoplastic elastomers (TPE).  Will this be an issue for someone who has an allergy to rubber or latex-based products?  It beats the hell out of me.
The vibrating attachment is encased in a sturdy plastic material.  Sliding the attachment onto the ring activates the vibe.  There is no on/off switch.”
Glenn:  “I thought that part was odd.  Why there’s no on/off switch is like totally beyond me.  Because it’s not so easy sliding the vibe attachment onto, or off of the ring.  So once ya have the ring on your johnson, it’ll be thrilling the wearer till he takes it off.”
Hank:  “I tried BO first in a little solo JO session.  I was happy to discover that the relatively modestly sized ring stretched to fit my dick.  Then I had Glenn give me some head while I was wearing BO.  That was pretty mind blowing.”
Glenn:  “My husband has got a really big one, ladies and gentleman!  And I have no gag reflex!”
Hank:  “Well, it’s big enough.  At any rate, BO comfortably hugged my boner and delivered some great vibe action that I could feel all the way in my ass.
And guys with a smaller unit can stretch BO over their cock and balls.  You can also position the vibe so that it’s on the top of your dick or behind your balls.  So there’s that!”
Glenn:  “And one day while I was all alone, I slipped BO on my new glass dildo and brought myself to paradise all by myself! BO is that versatile.”
Hank:  “The motor is super quiet, not that you could hear it at all if your partner is a screamer, like Glenn.”
Glenn:  “I prefer to think of myself as expressive during sex; not a screamer.”
Hank:  “Whatever!”
Glenn:  “BO comes with a handy-dandy plastic case that kinda looks like an oversized contact lens case.  BTW, this is how you charge BO.  It’s about as clever as clever gets.”
Hank:  “I found the plastic storage case a bitch to open at first.  But once it was opened and closed a few times it got easier.
Oh, and cleanup is easy.  Detach the vibe unit, wipe that down with a damp towel.  Make sure you don’t get moisture in the recharger hole.  The stretchy ring can be cleaned in soapy water or even in the dishwasher. ”
Glenn:  “BO comes in a nice gift box.  It includes everything — charger and storage unit and manual.”
Hank:  “BO also comes with a 1-year LELO warranty.”

ENJOY!

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Mixed Bag

Today we have several more products from Synergy Erotic.  We reviewed a bunch of their products back in January — Vibe-Me Massager, Squirmy Touch-Me and Luscious Thrill-Her

This week’s Review Crew:  Jack & Karen, Angie and Joy & Dixie

Angie has a bunny vibe to show us.
Elite Silicone Supple Bunny Lavender $54.45

Angie

There are a lot of things I really like about this 8 1/2 inch silicone bunny vibe.  First and foremost, it’s silicone.  Second, it’s waterproof.  It’s modestly priced and it is attractive.

When I shop for a vibe for myself, I pretty much always choose silicone.  And since I more often than not use the vibe in the tub, waterproof is at the top of my list of “must-haves”.

Bath time is my private time.  And as often as possible I leisurely soak away the day’s tensions while my husband is busy preparing dinner in the kitchen.  I know, I am so lucky and he’s such a treasure.  I help myself to a glass of wine, fill the tub with a bubble bath and climb in.  It is about the most hedonistic think I can think of, but it also keeps me sane.

The Elite Silicone Supple Bunny has an easy to use Polyurethane coated control unit in the handle.  Even in a bubble bath it is easy to manipulate.  That’s a big plus in my book.  Who wants to struggle with slippery controls when things are just getting interesting just below the surface of the water.

It has a 2-speed vibrating bunny tickler that really delivers a substantial sustained vibration.  This is by far the best part of the toy.   There is also something that rotates clockwise and counter-clockwise beneath the silicone skin on the shaft.  The head of the toy rotates slightly too, but these sensations are very subtle.  Unfortunately, way too subtle for me.  It’s the bunny tickler that is this device’s best stimulation feature.

Like all medical-grade silicone, it is hypoallergenic skin and phthalate free!   It requires 4 AAA batteries.  Sadly, batteries are not included, but at least the package is clearly marked with the battery size needed.

I recommend the Elite Silicone Supple Bunny.

Jack and Karen have a couple of vibes to report on.
Perfect Touch Satisfy-Her, Luster Black $19.99

Jack & Karen
Karen:  “I love the design of the Perfect Touch Satisfy-Her.  It’s shiny, it’s sleek, and I even liked the hard plastic.  Sometimes I’m in the mood for something hard, if ya know what I mean.  Unfortunately, I can’t say much for its performance.”
Jack:  “It’s waterproof; you got to give it that.”
Karen:  “Yes, that’s what it says.  It’s also supposed to have a 5-speed vibrator that is controlled by a single button in the handle.  I installed 2 AAA batteries (I had to use my own, because no batteries were included in the package).
Nothing I did make the vibe go through its paces.  Pushing the button once got it going all right; nice vibration too.  Pushing it again stopped the blasted thing.  Pushing it a third time started it up again, but I couldn’t tell if it had changed speeds.  I kept pushing the button never getting the same results twice.  What, is this rocket science?”
Jack:  “I could see she was having a problem, so I asked if I could take a look at it.  I guess she was slightly more frustrated than I thought, because she flung the vibe in my direction.”
Karen:  “Yeah, sorry about that.  I don’t know why I let it get under my skin like that.  I can tell you I would have been hoppin’ mad had I actually plunked down good money for this thing only to find, when I got it home, that it didn’t perform as advertised.”
Jack:  “I guess there’s a lesson here for us all.  If you’re paying less then 20 bucks for a molded plastic toy you’re liable to be disappointed.  I mean, think about it.  Maybe the old adage; ‘you get what you pay for’ applies in this instance.”
Karen:  “We never even got around to testing it’s advertised waterproof capability.  Oh well…”
Jack:  “Moving right along.”

Wavy Touch Me Penis Pink $16.15

Jack & Karen
Jack:  “This must not have been our week!  After our less than happy experience with the Perfect Touch Satisfy-Her, we turned our hopes and expectations to the Wavy Touch Me.”
Karen:  “DISAPPOINTED!”
Jack:  “Here we have an 8 1/2 inch textured (wavy) dildo with what they call an Ultra-Gelle skin.  Because of the articulated plastic spine beneath the skin, the dildo bends and then holds its shape.  So far, so good.”
Karen:  “We remember Glenn and Hank’s review of a similar product (HERE) and we were totally looking forward to our little adventure.  The bending capability really appealed to me.  I love G-spot stimulation and I thought this would deliver.”
Jack:  “We never got beyond installing the 2 AA batteries.  (Again, no batteries were included in the package.)  Once the batteries were in place, I tightened the cap on the battery compartment and pushed the button on the base of the vibe to activate the blasted thing.  NOTHING!”
Karen:  “I said; ‘you’ve got to be kidding!  Maybe you have the batteries in wrong.’”
Jack:  “I thought, ok that could be it, although I’m not a complete dork.  I do know how to install batteries.  I loosened the cap on the battery compartment to check my installation when suddenly the thing sprang to life.  WHAT?”
Karen:  “I was really frustrated by this time.  I wanted to get my groove on and all I got was…well nothing.”
Jack:  “Apparently there is a flaw in either the design or the manufacture of this particular vibe.  The contact points didn’t line up properly with the batteries when the cap was securely tightened.  But once the cap was twisted open, the contact points hit the batteries and the vibe worked.”
Karen:  “Of course, that put the kibosh on the whole ‘waterproof’ concept.  D’oh!
I repeat what Jack said about the previous product; what can you expect for $16?  Still had I shelled out the cash, I would have expected it to work, at least for a little bit.”
Jack:  “By this point, I had had it too.  We struck out twice this week.  The Wavy Touch Me landed in the corner with the Perfect Touch Satisfy-Her never to be used again.  We put the disappointment behind us and pulled out one of our trusty toys and went to work on our pleasure.”

Joy and Dixie have two bullet vibes to tell you about.Excite-Her Silver Bullet, Luster Pink $11.99

Joy & Dixie
Dixie:  “We have some good news and some bad news.”
Joy:  “We had two bullet vibes to test — Excite-Her Silver Bullet and Perfect Touch Excite-Her Mega Silver Bullet.  One was great, the other…not so much.”
Dixie:  “First the good news.  The Excite-Her Silver Bullet was very nice.  It has two speeds; a single button control mechanism, which worked just fine; and it’s waterproof.  What’s not to like, right?”
Joy:  “It’s an oversized bullet that really delivers the vibration.  You can use it externally, or internally — vaginally or anally.  Although, I must say, I don’t know if I trust the wire that attaches to the bullet to withstand a tug past a tight anal sphincter.  So you’re will want to take care in that respect, because the bullet will insert easily enough.  It’s the getting it out that might be a problem.”
Dixie:  “And I want to point out that the bullet itself is the only thing that is waterproof.  The hand-held controller/battery case is definitely not waterproof.”
Joy:  “The Excite-Her Silver Bullet runs on two AA batteries.  And like all the toys from this company, the first set of batteries is not included in the package.
Dixie:  “We recommend this vibe.”

Perfect Touch Excite-Her Mega Silver Bullet $13.99

Joy & Dixie
Dixie:  “Now for the bad news.”
Joy:  “As you know, we had these two bullet vibes to test — Excite-Her Silver Bullet and Perfect Touch Excite-Her Mega Silver Bullet.  One was great, the other…not so much.”
Dixie:  “We liked the Excite-Her Silver Bullet, it was very nice.”
Joy:  “The Perfect Touch Excite-Her Mega Silver Bullet is another story.  It too is an oversized bullet vibe, bigger even than the Excite-Her.  I loved the size of the bullet; the bigger the better for my vaginal insertions, thank you very much!”  cnvsyn-syn2100202
Dixie:  “And like it’s smaller sibling, this vibe is also waterproof.  But again I want to point out that the bullet itself is the only thing that is waterproof.  The hand-held controller/battery case is definitely not waterproof.”
Joy:  “And that gets us to the problem with this vibe.  The power-pack sucks, and not in a good way.”
Dixie:  “Yeppers, Joy’s right.  I mean the concept is a good one — it has a varying speed dial on the side of the hand-held power-pack that is supposed to adjust the vibe speed incrementally, like a rheostat on a light switch.”
Joy:  “If the manufacturer had pulled this off, the Perfect Touch Excite-Her Mega Silver Bullet would rock — big bullet and varying speed.  Sadly, the rheostat thingy is made really cheaply and so it really doesn’t work.  It turns on ok, but dialing the speed up or down just made the vibe sputter.  BUMMER!”
Dixie:  “The Mega Silver Bullet runs on three AA batteries.  And like all the toys from this company, the first set of batteries is not included in the package.
Joy:  “We cannot recommend this vibe.  We do, however, have a few words of advice for the Synergy Erotic people.  Why not invest more in the production values of your products and make a name for yourself in terms of quality, not price per unit. We’d be willing to pay considerably more for a vibe, like this, that actually worked as advertised.”
Dixie:  “What’s the use of spending a mere $16 for a toy that will wind up in the trash in no time.  It’s a shameful waste, if you ask me.”

ENJOY!

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To Have and To Hold

Hey sex fans,

I am so glad we finally got the new Review Site rockin’ n rollin’, because the Dr Dick Review Crew has been itchin’ to update you on a whole bunch of new products.

Have you visited Dr Dick’s Set Toy Reviews yet?  If not, what the hell are you waiting for?  It’s so cool; easy to navigate, easy to search and each product has it’s own review.  You can even search for all the reviews done by your favorite Review Crew member.  CHECK IT OUT!

This week’s Review Crew include: Jada and Jack & Karen.

Jada is here with a Jelique product.
Tasty Twist Oral-Sex Balm $10.95

Jada: “I love this new site, Dr Dick’s Set Toy Reviews; I’m so proud to be part of this effort.

I would like to introduce you to an interesting product — Tasty Twist Oral-Sex Balm. It’s a creamy lotion one applies to one’s genitals, or the genitals of a partner to flavor them up and make them tingle.

I should say from the outset that I would have never considered using this product had I seen it in the store. I would have simply passed it by. You see, I like the way I taste and smell when I am aroused.

I used Tasty Twist Oral-Sex Balm first by myself. It has an intense butter cream scent. It has a pleasant enough taste with a hint of mint. I licked some off my finger first before I put some around my labia. The hint of mint comes from the menthol in the ingredients. This, I assume, is also what adds the tingling effect.

It tastes like icing on a cake. It’s sweet to the tongue, but it also has a bit of a chemical aftertaste. Maybe that’s the mineral oil base; I don’t know. What I do know for sure is that, because of the mineral oil base, this product is not compatible with latex condoms. But I believe that Tasty Twist Oral-Sex Balm is geared toward masturbation and oral sex.

Jack & Karen are here with another Jelique product.

Tooshies $8.95

Karen:  “I’m a new-cumer to anal.  Sometimes it takes me a while to warm up to this particular activity.”
Jack:  “I love her for trying anal.  She did it just to please me.”
Karen:  “Well, that and it feels great once I get over the first hurtle.”
Jack:  “We were lucky enough to score Tooshies to review.  It’s a minty flavored Benzocaine based numbing gel formulated to ease the initial discomfort of anal sex.”
Karen:  “We’ve been looking around for such a product, but didn’t know which one to choose.  Or if such gels and or lube worked.”
Jack:  “Tooshies works!”
Karen:  “It does; that’s for sure.  It’s just the thing I need to boost my confidence and to desensitize my rectum.  I just have to say, Benzocaine is not for everyone.  It’s pretty common for some people to have an allergic reaction to it.  I suggest you try a little dab on the inside of your elbow first to see if you have a reaction or not.  The inside of your elbow is not the same thing as the mucus membranes in you rectum, but you’ll have a better sense of things nonetheless.”
Jack:  “And while we’re pointing out cautions, all you tops out there better wear a condom when your bottom is using Tooshies.  No, it’s not for safe sex reasons!  It’s because the Benzocaine will get on your dick during the fuck and you’ll experience a numbing sensation on your rod, and that ain’t good.  Or at least it wasn’t for me.”

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Totally Wacky

Sex Fans,

The Dr Dick Review Crew has something totally wacky for ya today. It’s a WhackSock! Say WHAT? You heard me; a WhackSock. It’s a sock ya wear on your cock when ya wank. How fun is that? I guess it’s intended to keep your spooge off the furniture, don’t’ cha know.

This week’s Review Crew:

  • Glenn & Hank

WhackSock 6 pack $9.99

Glenn: “I got this huge smile on my face today, because I had a flashback to when I was a kid. I started masturbating when I was 11, but nothing came out till I was almost 13. Before I was able to ejaculate I could cum multiple time in one session. But once I started to shoot a wad when I wanked I could only cum once per session. Actually, I only had to wait a few minutes before I could resume my diddling.”
Hank: “I think they call that the ‘refactory period’. It’s part of a male’s sexual response cycle.”
Glenn: “Yeah, I know that! So as I was saying, before Professor Bingo over here interrupted me, I was surprised as all get out when I shot my first spunk. I thought I had injured myself. Since I was totally unprepared for the eruption I had to do something with the evidence ASAP. My mother would soon round the corner and come barging into my room.”
Hank: “Did she bust you spankin’ the monkey?”
Glenn: “Not that time, I’m happy to say! It took some quick thinkin on my part. But I label_low_20rez_1_-276x350discovered that ya could hide your boy juice in a dirty sock, and your old lady wouldn’t be the wiser.”
Hank: “Damn, you’re clever! I’d be willing to bet the just about every guy on the planet has dropped a load into a sock at one point or another.”
Glenn: “Yeah, it’s probably something in our DNA, huh? So anyway, that’s why I had to laugh when Dr Dick asked us to review the WhackSock. My masturbation-obsessed youth came flooding back to me.”
Hank: “I know, I used to discard the socks I busted a nut in. I was afraid my mom would find me out. This, of course, backfired one day when my ever-vigilant mother uncovered a tangle of crusty socks in the trash. It didn’t take her long to put two and two together. This precipitated the big ‘sex talk’ with mommy that make my skin crawl. I was also marched off to confession to tell the priest about my disgusting and sinful behavior.”
Glenn: “I’ll bet the priest got off on that, huh?”
Hank: “Probably! I was a strappin’ young lad of over 6’ tall with ragin’ hormones and an unruly big dick. I was hung over 8” when I was just 15. It was so embarrassing, because I used to pop wood at the drop of a hat. I though having a big, precum drippon’ dick was a curse.”
Glenn: “Glad you got over that, cuz I love your one-eyed monster. But we digress! Let’s get whacksockback to the WhackSock. It’s a specifically designed cottony sock made for male masturbation. At least that’s what it says on the WhackSock site.”
Hank: “Yep, it’s basically a tubesox; no bigger than what a young kid might wear on his feet. But it does stretch.”
Glenn: “And that’s where the fun began for us. Hank and I went to a costume party last month and our costumes consisted of a WhackSock and nothing more. Hank’s trouser snake was the life of the party, literally and figuratively.”
Hank: “The stretchy cotton material could barely contain my johnson, so to speak.”
Glenn: “And it was all over when he got a boner! I loved it. I got to tell everyone that I am the lucky man that gets to have that hog up my ass whenever I want it. Tell me that didn’t make me the envy of all the queens at the party.”
Hank: “When we got home from the party, we both blissfully beat off into our WhackSock, just like god intended.”
Glenn:  “The WhackSock makes the perfect gag gift.  Imagine how this little number will crack up the party.  And you know for certain that there will always be at least one dude in the crowd that will want to put it on his pecker, right then and there.  Or you could get a bunch of WhackSocks and have a WhackSock party.  All attendees must wear a WhackSock and nuttin’ else.  It’ll be a freakin’ orgy in no time at all.”
Hank:  “And it feels real good goin up and down my shaft.  It’s almost like having a lubed hand.  And your WhackSock is like totally reusable.  It’s like having a form-fitting trick towel.”
Glenn:  “Be the first one on your block to own a pair (or 6) of these.”

ENJOY

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A BEAUTYFUL HANDFUL – Goldfrau

REVIEW #30

Hey sex fans,

Today we have something extraordinary indeed.

Over the last several months The Dr Dick Review Crew has had the pleasure of reviewing several exquisite high-end insertables made from some surprising materials. Among them — Pyrex glass, medical grade silicone, wood and even aircraft-quality spun aluminum.  Besides being fun and functional; each and every one of these lovelies is also an exceptional work of art.  Today we add porcelain to that list of exceptional materials.

Gina & Kevin — Reviews #4, 13, 16, 17, 18, 23, 24, 27. 28

Goldfrau — Miss Pink $240

Gina:  “If I were to try to design the perfect dildo, I couldn’t do better than this Australian company has done with their signature product — Goldfrau.  It’s simply perfect and perfectly simple.  It’s delightfully sensual; it’s beautiful art; it’s creatively innovative and it is GREEN!  I know I’m gushing, but my Goldfrau is stunning.”
Kevin:  “Gina’s right; I’m blown away too.”
Gina:  “I admit, at first I was a little skeptical. Porcelain is ceramic, of course, and all I could think of was how fragile that would make it.  I had the vision of a fine porcelain doll in mind.  I was oh so wrong.  After a little research, I discovered that stoneware ceramics, like this, are exceptionally durable and versatile.   There are ceramic knives, ceramic engines parts and the space shuttle’s exterior is made of ceramic tiles.”
Kevin:  “The ceramic used in crafting the Goldfrau will not chip, crack, or break miss-pinkunder normal use.  And you’re gonna want to treat this baby with loving care, not because it’s fragile, but because it is a stunning work of art”
Gina:  “Check this out!  The Goldfrau comes wrapped in this handsome lined soft leather pouch that just screams elegance.  The Miss Pink Goldfrau I have is cream-colored porcelain with an intricate lavender lace pattern on it. The shaft is absolutely smooth and it’s just a tad short of 9″ long.  It has a real nice heft to it too; nearly 10 ounces.”
Kevin:  “It’s shaped like a baseball bat with a rounded handle, which makes for easy handling even when lubed.  We discovered that a little lube went a very long way.  And you can use any type of lube you want with this porcelain beauty.”
Gina:  “Here’s a really neat feature I discovered. Despite the straight shaft, the Goldfrau is perfect for G-spot stimulation.  It’s odd, because most of the other G-spot stimulators I’ve seen or used have a curve to them. The Goldfrau does not.”
Kevin:  “Yeah, I feel confident using this thing on Gina without fear of injuring her.  Those curved dildos can sometime get turned around in her pussy and when the curve is pointing opposite to the G-spot that can hurt.”
Gina:  “I also really like the fact that I can warm and chill the Goldfrau to suit my mood.  It’s very easy to do.  You can chill it in the refrigerator for a few minutes or warm it by running hot water over it.”
Kevin:  “And it changes temperature very quickly.  So get this, one evening I ltr_pouchblindfolded Gina and restrained her spread-eagle on the bed.  I had a bowl of ice water and a bowl of hot water next to the bed.  I teased and tormented her clit and pussy with surprises in varying temperatures.  She got so wet I had to get down on all fours and lapped up all her sweet juices.  And you can use either end of the Goldfrau for wicked pleasure”
Gina:  “I have to admit, not knowing what was coming next — cold or hot drove me wild.  I was so totally turned on.  And I don’t think I ever lubricated that much in my life.  My man knows how to push my buttons.”
Kevin:  “While we were doing this hot/cold thing I made up a story about an beautiful Chinese princess who had been abducted by a cruel warlord and was being tortured into submission.  The warlord would fuck the princess wildly with an exquisite…wait for it…ancient porcelain dildo.”
Gina:  “As you can see, Kevin’s been reading too much erotica. But I did love his story.  And being blindfolded and restrained only intensified the experience.”
Kevin:  “Hey, there’s no such thing as too much erotica.”
Gina:  “You’re right, hon; you can tell me dirty stories anytime.  Just make sure the Goldfrau is near at hand.  I also want to mention that the Goldfrau, I guess because of its heft, fills me up more than it’s girth would suggest.”
Kevin:  “Ya know what?  I think the Goldfrau people should work on developing a similar porcelain toy just for us ass-centric men.  I mean a guy could use one of these on himself to great effect.  I’m just thinking something more along the lines of a hefty porcelain butt plug would totally rock.”
Gina:  “Clean up is easy with mild soap and warm water. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.  You can serialize it in boiling water for a minute or two, or pop it in the dishwasher with all your other fine china.”
Kevin:  “Guys, if you want to show your Valentine just how special she is; the Goldfrau is the idea gift.  It’s a little pricey, but you know your gal is worth it.  Besides, you’ll not find its equal anywhere else.”
Gina:  “And gals, if you buy only one new pleasure instrument this year; make sure it is a Goldfrau.  You will forever thank me for this tip; I promise.”

ENJOY

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A Thrill A Minute

REVIEW #29

Sex Fans,

The Dr Dick Review Crew is BACK! We’re all rested and relaxed and ready to tackle whatever cums our way.

We begin 2009 with a bang.  We have three vibes from Synergy Erotic.  They’re a relatively new company with a wonderful corporate philosophy, which includes everything from quality manufacturing to subtle yet effective packaging.  Good for them!

This week’s Review Crew includes:
Angie — Reviews #12, 16, 26
Glenn & Hank — Reviews #4, 16, 17, 18, 23. 24, 27
Jada — Reviews #14, 16, 20

Luscious Thrill-Her, Lavender $18.99

Angie:
This is a sweet and petite personal vibrator (5 1/2 inch long and 1 1/2 inch in diameter).  It features a small diameter, which is ideal for the novice user.  Luscious Thrill-Her is perfect for both anal stimulation and vaginal stimulation.  It has a solid vibrator core that is encased in a sensual outer skin made of a product called Ultra-Gelle.  It is soft, pliable and very comfortable to use.

lusciousI tried to do a little behind the scenes sleuthing to ferret-out what this Ultra-Gelle is composed of, but I wasn’t successful.  I am generally wary of new materials that might contain hazardous or allergenic materials.  I was delighted to see that Ultra-Gelle is Phthalate free.  Thank you for that!  It says so right on the package, which is good for marketing.  I always look for that designation on any soft material, like Ultra-Gelle.  And so should you; especially if the toy is intended for insertion.  I am unable to say if Ultra-Gelle is latex-free or not.  If you have a latex allergy, you might contact the manufacturer for more information before you buy.  That’s always the safest bet.

Luscious Thrill-Her has several features I like very much.  First, it is waterproof, so it’s great to use in the bath.  It also has a rheostat type speed adjustment that allows one to vary the vibration.  This toy should only be used with water-based lube, however.

Clean up is easy; mild soap and warm water does just fine. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.

Luscious Thrill-Her runs on 2 ‘AAA’ Batteries, but the first set of batteries is not included in the package. This is a pet peeve for everyone on Dr Dick’s Review Crew.  We feel as though no one should be creating battery-operated toys without including the first set of batteries in the package.

Luscious Thrill-Her comes in several fetching colors.  I confidently recommend this petite insertable.”

Squirmy Touch-Me, Lavender    $24.99

Glenn & Hank

Glenn:  “Hey, ya wanna see my pink penis?”
Hank:  “Actually, it’s lavender, dude; not pink.”
Glenn:  “Oh, ok!  Hey, ya wanna see my lavender penis?”
Hank:  “Why are you always so wacky?”
Glenn:  “Ahhh, because god made me that way?  Besides, were talking about toys, aren’t we?  That call for a little levity, right?”  😉

squrmyHank:  “Alright then, let’s have it your way.  So Glenn, why don’t you show us your pretty new lavender penis.”
Glenn:  “Maybe I will.  Squirmy Touch-Me is 8 1/2 inch of vibrating cock.  It even looks like a cock. And when I’m buggerin’ myself, or having someone else cornholein’ me; I like the weapon of ass-destruction to look like a cock, OK?  I’m old fashioned that way.  If you don’t like your toys to look like a wang; that’s fine with me.  But I do; so there!  And check this out; Squirmy Touch-Me has a flexible shaft that bends then holds its shape.  I absolutely love it!”
Hank:  “Squirmy Touch-Me has this very interesting articulated spine so that the vibrating tip reaches your prostate (or G-spot) each and every time.  Then it does a little dance that’ll really put a smile on your face.”
Glenn:  “It has the same Ultra-Gelle skin, as the product Angie showed you earlier.  I like the feel of it in my hands, but even more so up my ass.”
Hank: “The same cleaning instructions that Angie gave you apply to the Squirmy Touch-Me, so I won’t repeat them.  But I do want to emphasize the water-based lube precaution.  You wouldn’t want to mess up this toy with a silicone-based or oil-based lube.”
Glenn:  “It’s waterproof, which I really love.  Rammin’ this baby home in the shower in the morning makes the perfect start to each and every day.  Oh, and it two speeds — yummy and even more yummier.”
Hank:  “We want to second what Angie said about the batteries.  When we’re faced with a choice of toys of equal worth; one with batteries in the package and one without; we always choose the one with batteries.  We want to support the companies who are going the extra mile.”
Glenn:  “Considering the price of this puppy, it’s a great starter vibrating dildo for anyone lookin for a little Gelle fun.”

Vibe-Me Massager, Luster Blue    $11.99

Jada
Isn’t this a beauty?  It’s so shiny and sleek.  It looks like it’s made of metal, but it’s not.  The Vibe-Me Massager is an 8-inch hard plastic bodied waterproof vibrator.  There’s nothing soft of squishy here.  It contains a powerful motor, yet it is very quiet.  I really appreciate that.  I hate it when toys are loud enough to wake the dead.

vibe-meThe Vibe-Me Massager has several features I liked very much.  Like the two other vibes that we are featuring today, mine is also waterproof.  Angie, Glenn and I agree that a waterproof vibe is so convenient to use when one is already naked…like in the bath.  It also has a rheostat type speed adjustment that allows one to vary the vibration, just like the one Angie showed you.

Because the Vibe-Me Massager is non-porous, you can use any sort of personal lube you’d like with this toy.   I’m partial to silicone-based lube, so that’s what I use.  But water-based lube works equally well. The Vibe-Me Massager will stay slick either way.

Clean up is easy — mild soap and warm water works fine.  But you can sanitize more fully with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.  This is a highly recommended procedure if you will be sharing your toys.

The bullet shape makes insertion effortless.  And I must say I love the metallic blue color, it’s so pretty.

Unlike my friend Glenn here, I have a preference for a less penis identifiable shape to my dildos.  So does my husband.  I’m sure I would feel the same way he does if I were a man using an insertable on a woman.  Who needs the obvious comparison between the dildo and the real thing?

And just to make it unanimous, I concur with everyone else on the battery issue.”

ENJOY!

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Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen…and Gentlewomen

REVIEW #28

Hey sex fans,

It’s Week 4, and the final week, of our Holiday Extravaganza.  Did you somehow miss Week 1, 2 or 3 of this lollapalooza?  Shame on you!  Check out Reviews #25, 26 and 27.  You’ll be so glad ya did.

The Dr Dick Review Crew has been workin’ overtime gettin you these reviews and now all our naughty parts are sore as all get out.  Thank god this is the last week; we need a break, don’t cha know!

This week’s Review Crew include:

  • Jack & Karen — Reviews #17, 18, 25, 27
  • Joy & Dixie— Reviews #6, 12, 16, 17, 18, 23, 27
  • Glenn & Hank — Reviews #4, 16, 17, 18, 23. 24, 27
  • Gina & Kevin — Reviews #4, 13, 16, 17, 18, 23, 24, 27
  • Ken & Denise — Reviews #11, 16, 25
  • Jada — Reviews #14, 16, 20

First up Ken & Denise introduce us to a beautiful wooden insertable from Hans at Hardwood Dildos.  I’m a big fan of Hans’.  He is more than a craftsman; he’s an artist.  He really knows his wood and his woodies!  We have just this one dildo to review, but his site is virtually overflowing with ingenious designs.  When you visit, be sure to tell him Dr Dick sent you.

Apple Wood Dildo $99

Ken:  “I was hoping I would be one of the lucky chosen ones to review one of the great wooden dildos we’ve featured during our Holiday Extravaganza.  I lucked out!  Denise and I have a real beauty.”433a.jpg
Denise:  “That is so true.  Unfortunately, our Apple Wood Dildo doesn’t come already named, like the ones reviewed earlier in this series.”
Ken:  “Well, it’s only unfortunate if you’re not clever enough to come up with name all on your own.  I’ve christened ours Peter…for obvious reasons.”
Denise:  “I stand corrected.  Maybe I need to be punished.  😉
Ken:  “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?  Just you wait till we get home, young lady!”
Denise:  “Ohhh, Daddy!”
Ken:  “We seem to be veering off topic.  Back to our beautiful Hardwood Dildo.  It is made of Apple wood, a fine-grained, dense wood, which has a very fair color, kinda like maple or cherry.  Apparently, the wood comes from trees pruned in Oregon.”
Denise:  “Hardwood Dildos is another brilliant GREEN northwest company; so hurray for that!  It also has a very traditional shape to it.  Unlike some of the other wooden insertables on the market, there is no denying this Apple Wood Dildo is a phallus. It’s 6.25″ x 1.6″/2.6″ with a luscious dickhead and a nice base for easy handling.”
Ken:  “That phallus shape suits us just fine, huh honey?”
Denise:  “You betcha!  I’m real old fashioned gal that way.  I love the way it feel in my pussy and my ass.”
Ken:  “You can use all kinds of lube with this Hardwood Dildo.  It warms nicely to your body very quickly too.”
Denise:  “Wash with warm soapy water and dry thoroughly with a soft cloth and you’re done. You can wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.”
Ken:  “I feel like I own a unique piece of art, because no two Hardwood Dildos are alike.”
Denise:  “And anyone concerned about the finish on these dildos; oughtn’t worry.  They get at least five coats of a food grade varnish called a Salad Bowl Finish.”
Ken:  “If you are looking for wood (literally or figuratively) Hardwood Dildos is the place to shop.”
Denise:  “I hope I find another one of these beauties under my tree this Christmas.”
Ken:  “Maybe you could take your tree to Hans after the holidays and have him whip up a little something for you.”
Denise:  “What a great idea!  I wonder if he does requests. Happy Holidays everyone.”

Gina & Kevin introduce us to a couple of lovable toys for the big kid in all of us. These come from the good people at Big Teaze Toys. Dr Dick gives a bunch of extra points for the delightful names. You go Big Teaze!

I Rub My Duckie Bondage $25.99

Gina:  “If a company can make me smile and make me cum at the same time, they win my heart. Now my heart belongs to Big Teaze. I Rub My Duckie Bondage is just one of the great Collector’s Series duckies available from Big Teaze Toys. You have to see the other!  Makes me giggle just visiting the site.”irubmyduckie.jpg
Kevin:  “I got such a kick out of this.  And speaking of kicks; this little bugger is mighty powerful.”
Gina:  “Bondage Duckie has a permanent place in our bathroom.  It is always in reach.  There is nothing better than a waterproof vibe.  I love to get off in the tub.”
Kevin:  “It’s a real conversation piece too. It even comes with its own set of Duckie-sized handcuffs.  What a hoot!  Guests always comment on our fashionable BDSM Duckie.  Little do they know.”
Gina:  “When Kevin and I enjoy a soak together we never forget to invite Duckie.  And you can use it several different ways.  But I think you should find that out on your own.”
Kevin:  “Batteries ARE included.  So your first rides are free!”

I Rub My Wormie Pink Travel Size $22.99

Kevin:  “The I Rub My Wormie we have is the travel sized one.  That makes is a bit smaller than the regular size.  It make an excellent butt plug.”
Gina:  “Or Pussy plug! I Rub My Wormie has a, ergonomic bend in his neck to reach your G- or P-spot.  It has an easy-grip body so he won’t wiggle out of irubmywormie.jpgyour hands.”
Kevin:  “Oh baby, Oh baby, you make me so hot!!  Don’t forget the 3-speeds of vibration.”
Gina:  “It actually is the perfect toy to travel with.  Airport security will think you are carrying a baby’s toy.  If they only knew.
Kevin:  “All you health conscious consumers out there should know these toys are non-toxic, Phthalate-free, PVC-free and latex-free.”
Gina:  “Sadly, I Rub My Wormie does not come with batteries.  What’s up with that Big Teaze Toys?  No one should be creating battery operated toys without including the fist set of batteries.  It’s just wrong.
Kevin:  “Gina and I agree these toys make ideal holiday gifts.  Just make sure if you plan to give one of these as a gift that you buy the toy with the batteries, or include the batteries as part of your gift.”
Gina:  “No one wants a toy that can’t be used right out of the package.”
Kevin:  “Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from both of us.”
Gina:  “And a Happy orgasm-filled New Year too!”

Now Jada gives us the finger, as it were. This is a clever first offering from a new Canadian company — Fun To Have.

Fun Finger $20.00

Jada:  At first I thought this was some kind of gag.  I mean Fun Finger looks like something you’d funfinger-016.jpgfind on one of those prank websites.  It’s basically a big golden thumb. Fun Finger is soft and flexible.  It has a multi-speed vibrator that is adjusted on the base of the finger. It’s made in China of TPR (Thermoplastic Rubber), which is non-toxic, but anyone allergic to latex will not be able use this.  I’m not a big fan of Chinese made products, especially nowadays, but this one seems harmless enough.

I did like the unique shape — the cocked thumb.  It’s perfect for G-spot stimulation.  I wouldn’t, however, recommend it for prostate stimulation.  There’s nothing to hold on to at the base and it could easily slip in your bum and disappear.  And that would very unpleasant indeed.

Fun Finger would make a fun stocking stuffer for the light-hearted person on your list.

Happy holidays everyone!

Our favorite perv Review Crew members — Joy & Dixie and Glenn & Hank tackle some very interesting devices from Rachel’s Pleasures.

G–Spotter $16.20

Joy & Dixiejp440.jpg

Dixie:  “This is our second go around with these sorts of products.  Joy and I, Glenn and Hank and others did a whole series on some of the products from Sportsheets.  You can find those reviews by searching for the word ‘Sportsheets’.”
Joy:  “Dixie and I prefer Rachel’s product line to the other.  For one thing, we found them more comfortable.”
Dixie:  “I hope this doesn’t sound petty, but we also like Rachel’s packaging better.  It’s more fun and it isn’t so blatantly heterosexual.”
Joy:  “Basically, the G–Spotter is a device that one attaches to the bottom’s ankles so the top can maneuver the bottom’s legs with more ease.  The bottom can hold the strap herself or the top can hold it and move it from side to side.”
Dixie:  “I liked the Cumfy Cuffs.  They are padded for comfort, quick release gismo that is real handy. The G–Spotter is also easily adjustable.”

Cumfy Cuffs And Cumfy Cuffs Extensions Kit $22.50

Glenn & Hank jp125.jpg

Glenn: “Hank and I agree with Dixie. We also like Rachel’s packaging better than the Sportsheets packaging. I guess it’s a gay thing!”
Hank: “In fact, we liked everything about the Rachel’s line better. We agree with the gals, it’s a more comfortable setup”
Glenn: “Not that the bottom is supposed to be comfortable all the time. If ya catch my drift.”
Hank: “Yeah, but Rachel’s line of products, although practical and fully functional, is geared toward the bondage novice, wouldn’t you agree?”
Glenn: “Absolutely! But we all have to start somewhere.” 😉
Hank: “Do you know a budding kinkster? Maybe you’re one yourself.
Glenn: “Maybe you’d just like to know the thrill of relinquishing control for an itsy bitsy moment or two.”

Neoprene Harness $24.30

Joy & Dixie introduce us to the Neoprene Harness.

Joy:  “Now this is something I can really sink my teeth into.”
Dixie:  “What she means to say is ‘…sink a nice big dildo into’.”jp229.jpg
Joy:  “I loves me my strap-ons!  I have quite a collection.  Some are more comfortable than others, but I love ‘em all.”
Dixie:  “I’m not as much of a connoisseur, as Joy, but this Neoprene Harness is very comfortable, I must say.”
Joy:  “It is that!  It is also reversible and machine washable.  I love that part.  I hate having to clean lube and whatnot off my leather harness.”
Dixie:  “It’s also fully adjustable.  It would have to be to fit both Joy and I.  We have such different body types.”
Joy:  “This is a really terrific start-out harness for the beginner.  It’s inexpensive, yet practical.  You just plug in the insertable of your choice (like the one that Ken & Denise showed us earlier) and then go fuck yourself some…whatever.”
Dixie:  “Exactly!  I’ve already told my ‘straight’ office mate about this.  She’s gonna surprise her BF for X-mas.”
Joy:  “You go, Danna!!  Give it to him good.”
Dixie:  “Thank you Dr Dick for a great year of products.  We certainly look forward to the New Year and what it may bring.”
Joy:  “Have a very sexy and sensual holiday season everyone.  See ya in the New Year.”

Rachel’s Bed Spread (w/cuffs) $64.53

Glenn & Hank

Hank:  “Now this is more like it! Rachel’s Bed Spread allows you can create a little bondage magic without the screw anchors and bolts in the ceiling and walls needed for more traditional bondage apparatus.”

Glenn:  “I love being restrained spread eagle on the bed.  I love relinquishing control to my partner(s) and being ravaged by him/them.”

Hank:  “And now we can play like this our own bedroom, or take it on vacation with us.”

Glenn:  “These two straps go around the mattress and allow us to attach wrist or ankle cuffs to the straps. The straps are adjustable fitting a twin up to a King Size bed

Hank:  “Rachel’s Bed Spread is not the least be threatening.  In fact, if you just wanna mess around with some power-play this is just the thing for you.”

Glenn:  “But it also works for those of us who are a tad more hardcore.”

Hank:  “And it’s a breeze to set up. It only took a few minutes.”

Glenn:  “And it’s reasonably priced.”

Hank:  “So if you are a rank amateur or a seasoned pro, you’ll have a great time testing your limits.  We did!”

Glenn:  “We think Rachel’s Pleasures rocks.”

Hank:  “We both wish you a Merry Christmas and a very edgy New Year.”

So there ya have it, Sex Fans.  We hope our Holiday Extravaganza provided you with lot of swell gift giving ideas.  Look for more Product Reviews in the New Year.

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Fa la la la la, La la la la

REVIEW #27

Hey sex fans,

Holy mackerel!  It’s Week 3 of our Holiday Extravaganza.  Did you somehow miss Week 1 or 2 of this lollapalooza?  Shame on you!  Check out Reviews #25 and 26.  You’ll be so glad ya did.

The Dr Dick Review Crew has our review apparatus workin’ overtime.  We want to get as many reviews out there before the end of the year.  Because we certainly don’t want to leave you hanging…as it were.  This week, we have yet another hot juicy load of swell holiday gift giving ideas for you.  And guess what?  They are all GREEN.

This week’s Review Crew include:

  • Jack & Karen — Reviews #17, 18, 25
  • Joy & Dixie— Reviews #6, 12, 16, 17, 18, 23
  • Me, Dr Dick — Reviews #1 – 5, 7 – 10, 12, 14, 15, 19, 21, 25, 26
  • Glenn & Hank — Reviews #4, 16, 17, 18, 23. 24
  • Gina & Kevin — Reviews #4, 13, 16, 17, 18, 23, 24

First up we have two brilliant wooden insertables from my very good friends at Jildos; The Art You Love To Touch! Jildos are American made, hand-crafted works of art.  They are produced by a company called: WoodPeckers Roost.  Can you stand it?  They are made from the most durable, safe materials available and they are GREEN, oh so GREEN.

Hart $69.00

Joy & Dixie

Joy:  “I’ve had a hankerin’ for a wooden dildo for ages.  I’ve admired them online and even held a few in h_020804.jpgmy hands at our local sex emporium.  But nothing compares to owing one and having it inside you.”
Dixie:  “That is so true. Hart is simply beautiful. It’s made of exotic Bocote wood, which gives it a very distinctive striped appearance.  And besides it’s beauty it is as functional as all get-out. It has a long, smooth shaft that allows you to enjoy deep penetration using either end.”
Joy:  “Yeah, and it’s a ‘double header’ too. There is a ball at one end that is ideal for G-spot (or P-spot) stimulation.  But it also has a more traditional head on the other end, which is followed by 4 ridges.  I love my dildos ridged!”
Dixie:  “I agree, I love the rippling sensation too.  And I like that it’s size is not overwhelming.  It’s 10.5” long, but it’s only 1.25” in diameter at its widest point.”
Joy:  “We spent a lot of time trying it every which way.  And it is safe to use with all kinds of lubes.  We are partial to silicone-based lubes and because Hart is so naturally smooth, a very little bit of lube goes a long way.”
Dixie:  “Caring for this beauty is blissfully simple. Wash with warm soapy water and dry thoroughly with a soft cloth. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.”
Joy:  “Then you can use the wax packet provided with Hart to restore it’s natural luster. Just rub it on and buff it off.”
Dixie:  “Your Jildo Dildo will come with a Certificate of Authenticity and a nice velvet pouch for discreet storage.”
Joy:  “Jildos has a wide array of shapes and styles to choose from.  This is the ideal holiday gift for the GREEN consumer.”

Whimsy $69.00

Glenn & Hank

Hank:  “We have a more manly sized Jildo Dildo. Then do the girls.”wh_020820_0.jpg
Glenn:  “I just love that name!  ‘Honey, can you please pass the Jildo Dildo?’”
Hank:  “I know, and we don’t even have to christen this one, because it comes with its own name — Whimsy.”
Glenn:  “It’s a nice 1.5” wide and a bit shorter, at 10”, than Joy & Dixie’s Hart.”
Hank:  “I don’s suppose we have to repeat all the stuff that the girls said about lube, care and cleaning and all, do we?  Good!”
Glenn:  “Yeah, but we should describe it better.”
Hank:  “Oh, ok!  It’s made of American Cherry wood.”
Glenn:  “Think of it as cherry pie on a stick.”
Hank:  “You are such a dork!”
Glenn:  “You love it!”
Hank:  “Our Whimsy is also a ‘double header’. One end is rounded.  Think prostate stimulation…or G-spot stimulation. The other end is bullet shaped.  There’s a combination of swirls and ridges, which deliver a variety of sensations with the old in and out.”
Glenn:  “Mmmm, in and out!”
Hank:  “Have you ever met a hornier bastard?”
Glenn:  “I’m an unapologetic power bottom; what can I say?  And when Hank works my ass with Whimsy, I’m in pig heaven.  And this thing warms to my body very fast.  It’s like totally awesome.”
Hank:  “He’s so right.  I can work this boy in to a froth of sexual frenzy with this thing.  And I like that it’s very masculine looking.  Despite it’s beauty, it doesn’t look out of place next to all of Glenn’s other insertables.”
Glenn:  “And I do have quite a collection.  At the same time, we could leave this on the coffee table as an object ‘d art for all to admire.
Hank:  “If you’re lookin’ for insertable art for your holiday giving, look no further than a stunning Jildo Dildo.”
Glenn:  “One final thing.  You absolutely have to check out their dildo lore page.  It is amazing.

Keeping with today’s GREEN theme we’ve got a couple of delicious products from a little company in Vancouver, BC called Hathor Aphrodisia.

Lubricant Pure 4 oz $18.00 CAD

I, Dr Dick, have the distinct pleasure of introducing you to Lubricant Pure. I am so fond of this mighty-mite of a company from right here in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.  What a joy it is to bring their products to your attention.

aphrodisia-group-shot-sm.jpg

Ya’ll know my passion for GREEN adult products, right? Hathor Aphrodisia is a boutique company that brings us only a few choice products, but each one is a work of love.

Lubricant Pure is an exceptionally fine personal lube.  It contains pure botanical emollients including Horny Goat Weed, Jujube Zizyphus and Siberian Ginseng, which are supposed to have aphrodisiacal properties.  Can’t honestly say I noticed any difference in my sexual response cycle.  But as my granny used to say, ‘It couldn’t hurt!’

Lubricant Pure is water-based, so it’s condom compatible. It’s slippery, non-sticky and there’s no fragrance, which really appealed to me.  I hate when lubes have an odor.

And as you would guess from a company like this, Lubricant Pure even tastes nice.  I mean don’t you just hate getting some lubes in your mouth?  I know I do. They taste all chemically?

Sex fans, if you want your sex to be GREEN?  Here’s a way to do that and support a fantastic little company that is doing the right thing.

Lubricant Pure makes a great stocking stuffer too.

Lubricant Lickeurs — Coconut Orange        4 oz $22.00 CAD

Lubricant Lickeurs — Coconut Orange 4 oz $22.00 CAD

Gina & Kevin

Karen:  “This is so cool.  I’m a big tea drinker.  Never been one for coffee, but I do know my teas.  And since I’m a naturally hyper kinda gal, I try to avoid caffeine as much as possible.  These teas are delicious and they are herbal.”

Jack:  “I, on the other hand, am not a big tea drinker, but I agree; these teas are good.  There’s an earthiness to them that I really liked.

Karen:  “First up today is My Maple Cookie.  I love it; what a name. This tea is a unique blend of premium herbs specially formulated to change the female genitalia and male semen to smell and taste like maple cookies.  How fun is that?”

Jack:  “Who would have guessed something like this was even possible.  I have to admit, it’s the damnedest thing.  Karen and I shared the tin of 12 tea bags over a 10 day period.  We both noticed a difference in the way we smelled and tasted.  Don’t get me wrong; I love the natural taste of she and me, but this is way fun.”

Karen:  “Jack’s right.  Although, I sometimes find his cum to be kind of acrid. My Maple Cookie

Jack:  “I like the taste of my own jizz.  I never find it acrid.  But I don’t taste it every day.  So I bow to Karen’s critique.”

Karen:  “The Intimate Teas website suggests pouring 8 ounces of hot water over a tea bag and let steep for 5 minutes.  Then gently squeeze the tea bag to let the active ingredients fully release into the water.  You may remove tea bag or allow to stay in water for stronger tea.”

Jack:  “This tea is not a miracle worker.  It won’t cover a multitude of sins.  Hell, even I know to avoid some foods like onions and garlic, a lot of booze and, of course, smoking, if you want your spunk to taste sweeter.” changed that in just two days.To continue this week’s GREEN, and I might add YUMMY, theme we veer toward the food end of the spectrum.

Jack:  “Next up we have Screaming O tea.  The Intimate Teas people get high marks for the clever names and the packaging.”
Karen:  “They sure enough do!  This tea is a premium blend of unique herbs made to increase sexual passion in both women and men.  It is supposed to be an aphrodisiac, sexual stimulant and it’s supposed to intensify orgasms.”screaming-o-full-product-page3.jpg
Jack:  “That’s what it says on the website.  I was dubious…at first.  I figured, I already have intense orgasms, do I really need to improve on that…even if it’s possible?”
Karen:  “Things are much different for us gals, but I think you know that already.  I felt like the tea really did stimulate me.  And maybe it was only wishful thinking, but I felt my orgasms intensified too.”
Jack:  “Again, I defer to my lovely wife.  One thing for sure; this tea is a stimulant.  The first time I had this tea was near bedtime.  I thought, a nice cup of warm tea will make me sleep like a baby.  NOT!  I tossed and turned all night long.  But I did have a raging boner in the morning.  I don’t know if those two thing are connected, but they did follow one after the other.”
Karen:  “Kevin and I split the 12 tea bags between us, like the My Maple Cookie tea.  I didn’t drink my tea at bedtime, so I couldn’t corroborate Kevin’s story.”
Jack:  “I say, if you’re feelin’ a little pookie in the libido department, give this tea a try.  I suspect you will be pleasantly surprised.
Karen:  “That goes double for the women in our audience.  And these teas come in these charming little tins.  They make perfect gifts any time of the year, but especially during the holidays.”

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Cum All Ye Faithful

REVIEW #26

Hey sex fans,

Holy cow!  It’s Week 2 of our Holiday Extravaganza.  Did you somehow miss Week 1 of this amazing panoply?  Shame on you!  Check out REVIEW #25 if ya did.

As you know, the Dr Dick Review Crew is throwing our product review apparatus into high gear.  We want to get as many reviews out there as possible before the end of the year.  We certainly don’t want to leave you hanging…as to what is hot and juicy in the holiday gift giving department, don’t cha know.

This week’s Review Crew include:

  • Tag — First Posted Review
  • Me, Dr Dick — Reviews #1 – 5, 7 – 10, 12, 14, 15, 19, 21, 25
  • Angie — Reviews #12, 16
  • Christa — First Posted Review

First up is Tag, who introduces us to two glass dildos from Don Wands — The Cobalt Blue Smooth Vibrating Glass Wand and the Pink Nubby Rocket.
Cobalt Blue Smooth Vibrating Glass Wand $79.99

My name is Tag and this is my first published outing with the Dr Dick Review Crew. Dr Dick and I go way back, but that’s another story all together.

cobalt.jpg

The Cobalt Blue Smooth Vibrating Glass Wand is waterproof and like all glass dildos it’s hypo-allergenic, nonporous, ultra-smooth and very durable. I really appreciated the fact that the first set of batteries (2 AA’s) were included in the package. There’s nothing I hate more than bringing home a battery-operated toy only to discover that the batteries are not included. There oughta be a law against that!

Anyhow, I’m no stranger to glass insertables. In fact, I have an absolutely stunning one that DD gave me last spring. It’s hard (no pun intended) not to make a comparison between the first one and these two. But before we get to that, let’s evaluate the two Don Wands glass dildos on their own merits.

Cobalt Blue Smooth Vibrating Glass Wand is a substantial dildo indeed.  It is, of course, rock-hard, straight as an arrow and a beautiful cobalt blue.   It’s 8” long with a 4 1/2’” circumference and it vibrates.

I don’t generally take things this big in my butt, so I figured ‘Big Blue’ would be the boyfriend to make me shout.  It warmed easily by running it under warm water (it could be chilled just as easily); took very well to assorted lubes; and just as I thought, it made me moan.  It was especially fun when I realized the vibration had a continuous setting and an intermittent setting.  The pulsating vibe was my favorite.

Pink Nubby Rocket $29.99pink.jpg

Tag: I almost got myself off with ‘Big Blue’, when I happened to look over and see the slightly more petite pink puppy waiting to take me for a ride. I carefully released my grip on ‘Big Blue’, clamped down to stem the tide of my building orgasm and turned my attention to the Pink Nubby Rocket.

Actually Pink Nubby Rocket isn’t so little. Approximately 7 ” in length and 1″ in diameter; this rose-colored dong features a nicely curved shaft with a whole lot of nubbies. It has a nice base to hold on to for pumping in and out and directing the head to your P-spot (or G-spot).

My anal ring just loved opening and closing each time I slowly pushed another knobby ridge through.  You know that feeling when a dick head pops in and you relax a little and get ready for the rest?  Well this is just like that, only many more times over. And the curvature was perfect for working over my prostate, which made me leak.

This time I didn’t hold back and the Pink Nubby Rocket brought me home.  I howled loud enough to scare the dog.

On another occasion, my friend and I did a little double butt action he used the Pink Nubby Rocket, because he’s relatively new to ass play.  I hauled out the Cobalt Blue Smooth Vibrating Glass Wand, because I love a challenge.  My friend and I lie side-by-side, our heads at opposite ends of the bed.  This allowed us to work each other’s toy with one hand and pull our pud with the other.  Damn, if this wasn’t more fun than a barrel of monkeys.

You should know that a glass dildo gets real slick with just a wee bit of lube.  The good folks at Don Wands also thoughtfully included a sample packet of WET personal lube in the package.  Because a glass dong is nonporous the lube won’t get tacky.

One thing for sure, neither one of these dildos feels as substantial as the first one I had.  Of course, there was a huge price differential too.  The stunning one Dr Dick gave me last spring is much heftier; the glass seems more dense.

Now I’m very careful with all my toys, but I had the feeling that if I dropped one of the Don Wands they would shatter.  Not so the original one.  So that’s my only critique.  I’d prefer to pay more for high-quality glass, rather than get something for less, but fear that it might slip from my lubed-up fingers and possibly smash to smithereens on the floor.

Their website shows lots of different models including one colored and shaped like a candy cane.  I certainly hope Santa brings me one of those, because I have been very very good.

Next, Angie and I introduce three delicious products from the oh so creative people at Earthly Body — A Massage Body Candle — Naked in the Woods, an Edible Candle — Watermelon and an Aromatherapy Candle — Melt Away.

Aromatherapy Earthly Body Candle — Melt Away 6 oz. $15.99

One of the best things about being Dr Dick is sharing the bounteous melt-away-hi-res.jpgproducts sent to me for review with my Review Crew.  It’s like bein’ friggin’ Santa Claus all year long.  Despite my exceptionally big heart there are always some pangs of envy as I see a product I covet go off to a new home in the hot little hands of one of my posse.  Generosity is so bittersweet.

I had the damnedest time trying to choose among these Earthly Body products.  Each one is a mini treasure.  But since I am an avid practitioner of massage and bodywork I chose the Aromatherapy Earthly Body Candle — Melt Away as my keeper…

If you are unfamiliar with the concept of a body candle, here’s the deal.  These beauties are designed to melt at a lower temperature than regular candles.  You light them like regular, of course, but they liquefy quicker, thus the ‘wax’ (more precisely, oil) is not so hot.  So you light your candle, melt some, extinguish the flame and then use the sensuous scented oil to massage with.  There simply is nothing finer!

Not all such candles are created equal, don’t cha know.  But I can say with confidence that the Earthly Body candle is the finest I’ve ever used; bar none.  Their candles are made from 8 Natural Oils including Hemp Seed (Mmmm Hemp!), Vitamin E, Jojoba, Avocado, and Almond.  This is like a picnic for your skin.  It penetrates easily thus moisturizing your skin leaving it soft and smooth, like a baby’s bottom.

Wanna take a mini-vacation for under $20?  Look no further than Earthly Body.

And the fragrance is out of this world.  This particular candle — Melt Away, is scented with clove.  These candles are infused with real aromatherapy essences, mind you.  No cheap artificial stuff here, I’m happy to report.  So you have this complete experience — a scented candle that fragrances the room, which also provides an equally delectably scented high-quality massage oil.

Heart-Shaped Massage Body Candle — Naked in the Woods 6 oz. $15.99

Edible Candle — Watermelon 4 oz. $15.99

Angie: I couldn’t agree more with the Dr D! I was thrilled when asked to round-massage-med-res.jpgreview these two candles — the Heart-Shaped Massage Body Candle — Naked in the Woods and the Edible Candle — Watermelon. They are scrumptious.

I have very sensitive skin, so I have to be very careful what products I use. Initially, I was concerned that fragranced products, like these, would not sit well on my skin. So I decided to visit the Earthly Body website and do some homework before my first use. I was delighted to learn that all their products are vegan and nontoxic.

My first use was right after my bath. I lit a candle, which fragranced the room while I enjoyed my bath. Naked in the Woods has a light earthy sent with just a hint of pine. the Edible Candle — Watermelon is…well all edible-watermelon-candle-hi-res.jpgwatermelon-y. Is there such a word? Depending on my mood, I had a choice between earthy and fruity. By the time if finished my bath, there was enough liquefied oil to generously moisturize my legs. This is a much finer oil than what I usually use, so much more silky.

One thing I did not know is that Hemp Seed Oil is known as ‘nature’s most perfectly balanced oil,’ and has the highest concentration of Essential Fatty Acids (EFAs) of any essential oil.  I guess that explains the rich texture of the melted candle.

As a special treat, I used the Naked in the Woods candle on my husband.  He probably would have resisted had I asked him first.  Scented things are not his bag. He’s such a guy!   But I had the candle lit at our bedside.  (The scent is not overwhelming in any way.)  We were feeling amorous; and I said I wanted to treat him to a little back rub.  He never says no to a massage.  I extinguished the candle and dribbled the warm oil on his back.  I poured it from about one foot above his back, so that by the time it hit him it was only slightly warmer than his skin.  He moaned with delight as I rubbed it in.

The economy being what it is, I believe more and more of us will be turning to simple, inexpensive pleasures that can be enjoyed at home.  These Earthly Body candles have only whet my appetite to try some of their other products.  (Hubby dear, if you’re reading this, as I know you are, the New Year will be a whole lot more sensual if I find a big gift pack of Earthly Body goodies under the tree.  Hint, hint!)

One final thing, and I know that Dr Dick agrees with me on this, we are both delighted to see that Earthly Body, besides being an earth-friendly, totally GREEN company, it also has a much bigger social conscience.  The founders of the company have created a charitable foundation called The Get Together Foundation. How fantastic is that?

And now for something completely different!  Our next line of products will be introduced by a newcomer to the Review Crew — Christa.

Here’s the thing.  The exceptionally irreverent and downright blasphemous folks are Divine Interventions have cum up with a line of exquisite silicone insertables.  You say; “Ok Dr Dick, we loves us some silicone dildos!”  Yeah, everyone on the Review Crew said the same thing.

But not so fast, since these remarkable insertables are fashioned in a most unorthodox manner (to say the least) no crew member had the audacity to take them on.  That is until Joy turned me on to her 20-something goth-chick pal, Christa.  She was like totally down with the whole sacrilegious concept, as you will see.

Diving Nun $59

Christa here!  I can’t believe that you’re just gonna fork over three totally nun.jpgbitchin’, top of the line, high-grade silicone toys, like for free.  And the fact that these babies skewer the whole religion thing makes ‘em even hotter.
So ok, I can see where these are not for everyone.  People are so fuckin’ uptight about shit like this.  But like I said, that only makes them more of a turn on for me.

Take the Diving Nun for instance.  This is a no nonsense dong, 7-3/4” tall with a 1-3/4” diameter.  This will fill you up.  It comes in lots of hot colors.  Mine is appropriately virgin Mary blue.  What’s so great about this particular dildo is that it has a suction base.  It’ll stick to the floor, if you’re takin it up the ass or to the wall if you wanna hands-free pussy-fuck yourself.  Now, that’s what I call versatile!  I had my way with this thing in the shower the other day and I’m still walkin’ funny today…

Baby Jesus Butt Plug ——  $35

I saved the Baby Jesus Butt Plug for my sub, butt-boy BF, Alex.  He is like this total baby.jpgass whore.  I was the first girlfriend he ever had that fingered his hole and played with his prostate.  Now it’s ‘fuck me, fuck me, fuck me’ all the time.  This butt plug is perfect for keeping him stuffed and horny so that he gets me off a bunch of times before he does himself.  And I can just lay back and enjoy.  If you have an ass-hungry man in your life, or you are ass-hungry yourself and you’d get off even more by shovin’ an icon where the sun don’t shine; this is the plug for you.

The secret to the success of all these insertables is all the assorted nooks, crannies, ribbing and curves.  These are the things that will send you to paradise!

This Baby Jesus Butt Plug is 4-1/2” tall with 1-1/2” diameter. It comes in a bunch of hot colors.  Alex’s is marbled red.

Jackhammer Jesus —— $65

The ultimate in blasphemy!  Ever get in the mood to go like all Linda Blair in the Exorcist?  Frankly I hadn’t ever thought about it till I discovered that my jack.jpgJackhammer Jesus is a silicone crucifix with a beautiful dickhead at the foot of the cross. Then all manner of wickedness crossed (no pun intended) my mind.

This beauty rivals the Diving Nun in size, 7-1/2” tall by 1-3/4” diameter. It’s not as versatile as the Nun, because it doesn’t have a suction base.  But the Jackhammer Jesus is even more twisted.

I suppose all you visitors to the Dr Dick site already know that you can only use water-based lubes with silicone, right?  I hope so, because silicone-based lubes will seriously fuck up a silicone toy.  Care and cleaning of silicone is way easy too.  Warm water and mild soap is what I use.  If I need to sterilize before sharing my toys, I boil the toy for a few minutes.  I also wipe down my toys with a 10% bleach solution and a lint-free cloth between each use.  But you can use peroxide or rubbing alcohol too.  This will keep your toys as fresh as the day you bought them…or in my case picked ‘em up at Dr Dick’s place.

One final thing, the Divine Interventions site sells a bunch of other insertables too.  And you’ll be happy to know that they are equal-opportunity blasphemers they skewer other religious figures too.  I’m gonna save my sheckles and buy me a Devil’s Advocate.

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COMFORT AND JOY

REVIEW #25

Hey sex fans,

I know it’s hard to believe, but the freakin’ holidays are upon us once again.  Bah Humbug!

So OK not everyone is not a Scrooge, like me.  That’s why the Dr Dick Review Crew is throwing our product review apparatus into high gear.  We want to get as many reviews out there in the next month as possible.  We want you to have a load of swell holiday gift giving ideas, don’t cha k now.

This week’s Review Crew include:

  • Jack & Karen — Reviews #17, 18
  • Ken & Denise — Review #11, 16
  • Carlos — Reviews #4
  • Mick & Chuck— Reviews #12

Let’s start things off with a little COMFORT!

Jack & Karen introduce us to Pleasure Pack Combo.
The Right Position Sex Pillow Combo —— $89.00

Karen: “I’m just wild about The Right Position Sex Pillow. Until the day Jack and I picked up the Pleasure Pack Combo at Dr Dick’s, I hadn’t given much thought to how exceptionally useful a specialized cushion like this could be.”
Jack: “I totally agree. Ya see the sex pillow is wedge shaped (about 6” at sex_pillow.jpgits widest), which allows us to position our bodies for a more accommodating and comfortable fuck.”
Karen: “But it’s not just for fucking, although I must say it is ideal for anal sex, but I’ll get to that in a minute. What I like most is that it raises my pelvis just enough so that Jack can pleasure me orally. And The Right Position Sex Pillow is so comfortable too”
Jack:  “In the past, we had to fumble around with traditional pillows to place under Karen’s ass to raise it to just the right height for me to effortlessly eat her out.  But now with The Right Position Sex Pillow I can crawl between her legs and find her pussy at precisely the right height for me to dig in.”
Karen:  “My man has the most talented tongue around.  I’m totally down with anything that makes him more comfortable while he works, if ya know what I mean..”
Jack:  “Karen mention ass fucking.  When I bottom for her I love her to peg me while we’re face to face.”
Karen:  “Before we got The Right Position Sex Pillow I found face-to-face pegging a real chore.  Jack is a lot bigger and heaver than I, and even though he tries to keep his legs up during the peg, it’s exhausting and when he tires they crash down around my shoulders.  It’s difficult for me to help him keep his legs up so it’s kind of frustrating.”
wrap.jpgJack:  “Yeah, but now all I have to do is position the Sex Pillow under my back so that the widest part of the wedge is just slightly above my waist.  This allows me to throw my legs up and back and keep them there with ease.  It’s really great.”
Karen:  “It really has made all the difference in the world.  How we did without one of these for so long is beyond me.”
Jack:  “I like the fact that Sex Pillow cleans up easily with just a little soap and water.  It’s made of soft latex free foam that resists lube stains. Thank you very much!  And it has a built in handle, so it’s easy to adjust.”
Karen:  “The Right Position Sex Pillow even comes with its own lovely satin drawstring bag.”
Jack:  “Tell ‘em about the other thing.”
Karen:  “He’s referring to The Pleasure Wrap.  It’s very sweet sexy little throw with a soft furry fleece side and silky satin side. It’s ideal for cuddling after a romp.  I often get chilled afterward, even on the warmest days.  So this is perfect for me.  Oh, and machine washable too.  They’ve thought of everything!”
Jack:  “In case you haven’t noticed, we love these products.  You can buy the pillow and wrap separately.  But the combo is so reasonably priced; why not splurge?  It will make the perfect holiday gift for all you lovers out there.”

And now for a whole lot of JOY!

Mick & Chuck introduce us to Smooth Glider.

Smooth Glider $89.95

Mick:  “Hey, it’s great to be back as part of the Dr Dick Review Crew.
Chuck:  “This is the dream “job. What’s not to love about getting free sex toys?  And we loves us some toys.”
Mick:  “Yeah, but we’re also informing people about what to look for in smooth_glider.jpgquality products while avoiding the junk.”
Chuck:  “Exactly!  Speaking of quality, check out our Smooth Glider.  It’s stunning.  It’s made of Pyrex glass.”
Mick:  “It’s approximately 7 inches long and 1 1/4 inches in diameter with a nicely sculpted head that measures approximately 1 1/2 inches in diameter.  It weighs a hefty 12.4 oz.  And the sucker is smooth as glass…thus the name.  Duh!
Chuck:  “Well a lot of glass dildos are textured.  This one happens to be smooth. But it does have a nice curve to it.  It’s perfect for prostate stimulation.”
Mick:  “Or G-Spot stimulation, if you have one of those.”  😉
Chuck:  “The first thing you need to know is that not all glass dildos are created equal.  There are plenty of cheap knock-offs out there that I wouldn’t stick in my ass for a million bucks.  But the Smooth Glider is top of the line.”
Mick:  “If you’ve never used a glass dido you will be amazed.  It’s like no other material.  With just the tiniest amount of lube (we use a silicone-based lube) this thing becomes amazingly slick.  And you can warm or chill this baby for added sensations.”
Chuck:  “The Smooth Glider, like all quality glass products, is easy to care for too.  Warm soapy water and a nice lint-free towel is all you need for clean up.  But you can pop it in the dishwasher; sterilize it in a 10% bleach solution; or in boiling water for a couple of minutes.  Making it the idea toy for sharing.”
Mick:  “One more thing about the Smooth Glider’s design.  It has a nice base on it.  So it’s easy to grab hold of for turning or pumping in and out.”
Chuck:  “Mmmmm, pumping in and out!”
The Smooth Glider comes in a beautiful red padded velvet pouch to protect it when it’s not punishing your, or someone you love’s ass.”
Mick:  “I highly recommend the Smooth Glider to anyone who is looking for the classic glass dildo.  You will not be disappointed.”
Chuck:  “I second that!  And anyone out there still unsure about glass toys, if you buy quality, like the Smooth Glider, you have nothing to worry about.  But like all high-end toys you need to treat it right.  Care for it properly, and it will last a lifetime.”
Mick:  “Yeah just think this could be an heirloom, passed down from generation to generation.  In about a hundred years look for it to appear on the Antique Road Show.  ‘Why, my great, great uncle Mick buggered himself senseless with this beauty!’”  😉

Next up, Ken & Denise introduce us to one of the beauties from NobEssence — TRYST.

TRYST $180.00

Denise:  “Thank you for the warm welcome to the Dr Dick Review Crew.  It’s been a blast…literally and figuratively.”
Ken:  “Denise has been eager to join our little club since our adventures with The Vergenza Mk. I.”
Denise:  “This time we have an equally beautiful and oh so functional dildo/massager, TRYST.  It’s sculpted wood.  Isn’t it gorgeous?
Ken:  “Yeah, like The Vergenza Mk. I, TRYST is a work of art.
Denise:  “It’s is ‘double header’, if you will.  One end is round, smooth and bulbous.  It is uniquely shaped to stimulate either G-spot or P-spot. The tryst.jpgother end is a beaded sort of thing that supplies the most delicious rippling sensation.  And each end is perfectly angled to act as a handle when the other end slides into place.  It’s brilliant!”
Ken:  “I’ve never used anything like it.  I mean, it’s10” long.  The bulb end is 1 1/2” at the tip, but it then widens to a 2” body before the traditional plug notch.  The beaded end is curved, but smaller— an 1” at its widest point.”
Denise:  “And, of course, TRYST can be used vaginally and anally.  Or did you already get that from my G-spot or P-spot reference?  I’m a little slow sometimes.”
Ken:  “We’ve enjoyed this dildo every which way.  And we haven’t tied of it yet.
Denise:  “I sense that some of our visitors may be apprehensive about wood as an insertable.  Well let me put your mind at ease.  It’s perfectly safe.  These sculptures are sealed with an impermeable finish that is hypoallergenic, sent-free, waterproof and bacteria resistant.  And because wood is all natural, there are no worries about chemical additives, like phthalates.”
Ken:  “Yeah, this is about as green as you can get.”
Denise:  “Clean up is a breeze.  Warm water and a mild soap do the trick.  When we trade off using this gem; we wipe it down with peroxide and a lint-free towel.  But you can use alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.
Ken:  “Mick said something about how slick his toy got with just the smallest amount of lube.  The same is true with TRYST.  Like those guys we prefer a silicone-based lube.  And another noteworthy thing is that wood will warm to your body temperature as you use it.”
Denise:  “All NobEssence sculptures come in beautifully designed gift boxes.  Perfect for holiday gift giving.”
Ken:  “This is a very special gift for that very special someone.  It is both artistic and sensual.  If you want to make a HUGE impression; this will make the point.”

Finally, Carlos introduces us to another beauty from NobEssence — ROMP.

ROMP $110

Carlos:  “It’s great to be back with some of my old review pals and some new ones too.

I feel a little odd being the only single person here, but my ROMP is perfect for solitary use.  It’s an exquisite wooden butt plug/prostate massager.

Before I continue with a description, I want to say that I agree with everything Ken andromp.jpg Denise said about their sculpture.  And since you just heard from them, I won’t repeat it all myself.

ROMP is the best prostate massager I’ve ever used.  And I’ve tried several.  It fits snug and stays in place because of the notch between the handle and the rounded insertable end.  And it’s designed to be worn for extended periods of time.  The longer you wear it, the better it feels.  Dr Dick and I are both big advocates of prostate self-awareness and prostate massage.  And this is the perfect ‘tool’ for that.
It isn’t all that big, so it is suitable for even the beginner.  The insertable section is 3 1/2” long and 1 1/2” at its widest point.  Nothing threatening there!  I suppose you could just as well use ROMP for G-spot stimulation, but I don’t have one of those.  So I can’t speak to that.

Lube, of course, is important.  And ROMP is compatible with all types of commercially produced lubes — water-based, silicone-based, whatever you have.

I love my ROMP.  I’ve already turned a couple of my bi-men friends on to this amazing instrument.

One thing I should point out.  The NobEssence site only allows you to buy directly from them if you use PayPal.  That is such a bummer.  Because there are a whole lot of us that will never use PayPal, ever.  I’m sure the sculptor looses a fair amount of business not having other pay options.  Luckily, the NobEssence site offers links to other online stores where you can purchase these marvels using a credit card.  So hurray for that!

If you have a prostate, or know someone who does, this is the ideal holiday gift for him.  Get ‘em while they’re hot!”  😉

ENJOY