Category: REVIEW CREW

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Just a teensy bit naughty

It’s Product Review Friday and we veer a little to the kinkier side of things. Thanks to our friends at Adult Sex Toys .com we have a handful of edgier toys to tell you about.

Here to spread the news are Dr Dick Review Crew members — Ken & Denise, Christa, Jack & Karen and Brad.

So without further ado…

Leather Wrist Restraints W/Red Hearts —— $39.20

Ken & Denise
Denise: “We scored big time with these fantastic Leather Wrist Restraints. These things are the real deal too.”
Ken: “Yeah, I was hoping we’d finally score some good kinky shit, because we were getting tired of reviewing the awful stuff that had been coming our way lately.”
Denise: “So true! But these beautiful black Leather Wrist Restraints with the playful red leather heart inlay design make up for recent disappointments.”
Ken: “Like Denise said; these are the real deal — sturdy black leather and metal studs and buckles. Very hot!”
Denise: “They are comfortable, because they are totally adjustable. There are 11 holes for the buckle. I have very small wrists and Ken has massive wrists and these Leather Wrist Restraints fit us both. They don’t have a lining, like some restraints I’ve seen, but the leather is soft and the edges are sealed and rounded so they don’t cut off my circulation when I’m wearing them.”
Ken: “They also work as ankle restraints for Denise, because she is so petite. But they aren’t big enough for my ankles. I wonder; do they make matching ankle restraints in a men’s size?”
Denise: “If you think you may enjoy a little role-play or power-play, these are the Leather Wrist Restraints for you. They are relatively inexpensive, but they are built to last.
Ken: “And it’s so easy to create a competent bondage scenario with these babies and some bondage rope. Think of an under the mattress or through the bedposts setup that will provide loads of fun for both the bottom and the top.”
Denise: “Treat your leather toys with care and they will last and last. We have this wonderful leather cleaner that is just perfect for maintaining and conditioning all our leather stuff.”

Keeping with our heart theme…

25.5” Red Metallic Heart Bat —— $24.93

Christa
They call this thing a Red Metallic Heart Bat, but it looks, feels and handles more like a riding crop. But whatever you call it, it is fuckin SWEET!

I brought the Red Metallic Heart Bat home the other day; pulled it out of the bag and I thought my sub, butt-boy BF, Alex , was gonna swoon. I know I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating. He’s like this total ass whore. I was his first girlfriend to finger him and play with his prostate. Now it’s fuck me; fuck me; fuck me all the time. So now I have a little something to smack his ass with when I’m pegging the livin’ daylights out of him.

A crop is not as painful as a paddle, but it still offers up a great sting. And if you smack the bare skin just right, besides getting a very satisfying snap, you get this adorable heart imprint. Nothing says love to your sub like a heart-shaped welt on his behind.

The Red Metallic Heart Bat is exceptionally stylish as well as being very practical. It’s 25.5” long; it has black plastic stitching up the length of the stem, which is topped off with the red leather heart. It has a leatherette handle with nice metal finishings.

I have to admit I got totally wet the first time I used this crop on Alex. I had him bend over the arm of the couch and drop his drawers. He, of course, obediently obliged me. I came up behind him and began to tickle his ass and balls with Red Metallic Heart Bat. He immediately got hard and started to ooze precum. I spread his legs farther apart and lubed up his hole. I had his favorite butt plug lubed and ready. As I placed it against his pucker and pressed it home, I brought down the crop with a snap. I swear; Alex didn’t know what hit him. He let out with an animal like sound; a kind of howl and a scream together, so I knew I hit my mark, both literally and figuratively

Nipplettes Purple —— $20.45

Jack & Karen
Jack: “So here’s some fun for everyone.Nipplettes are cute vibrating tit clamps.”
Karen: “They are adjustable, although they never really clamp all that tightly. Which makes them great for beginners. They are easy to operate; a simple one push-button control turns them on and off. There’s just the one speed.”
Jack: “Nipplettes don’t have a very strong bullet vibe either. But I guess novice players wouldn’t want the vibration to be all that strong anyway, right?”
Karen: “Nipplettes look like clothes pins with the bullet vibe inside the top of the clamp. They are made of plastic with a rubber coating that makes them even less scary to play with.”
Jack: “They are battery operated, but not waterproof. The package says they are waterproof, but they are NOT. So be careful there. Karen mentioned they are adjustable; and they are. You adjust them by twisting a small plastic screw on the base of the clamp.”
Karen: “The vibe is relatively quiet, but they do have a tendency to rattle, which was a little annoying.”
Jack: “We found that Nipplettes can only be used while laying down. Since the clamping action isn’t very strong they tend to fall off if you’re standing of sitting. This was the really annoying part. I mean if you can’t move around while they’re on, what good are they?”
Karen: “Oh, and we happily discovered that Nipplettes are not just for your nipples. In fact, I think they are better suited to other parts of the body. I used them on my labia and clit and totally loved it. Jack used them on his foreskin and his testicles, and he like that a lot too.”
Jack: “Yeah, the best thing about the Nipplettes is that you can be so creative with them. You can use them on all your sensitive parts without fear that they will hurt you.”
Karen: “Remember these are for fun. If you’re looking for the kind of clamps that will make you squirm, you’ll need to look elsewhere.”
Jack: “Yeah, but strategically placing them on your cock or pussy will provide you with the kind of fun you couldn’t get from hardcore clamps. So there’s that.”

Finally, we have…

Pecker Ball Gag —— $9.59

Brad
I though to myself, so ok I know this isn’t a professional grade ball gag, but it could be fun. And I was right…at least the first couple of times me and the GF played around with the Pecker Ball Gag.

It has this soft, little penis shaped gag the size and shape of a Champagne cork. It’s not really a gag, because you actually bite down on it. So it’s more like for show than it is for serious. But we knew this is just for fun and it would be the perfect thing for beginners.

The “gag” stays in place by means of an adjustable leather strap, which is pretty sturdy, but not all that long. So if you have a big head like me, you won’t be the one wearing the gag.

So far so good, right?

Unfortunately there are these two other little straps on either side of the gag that that connects it to the sturdy neck strap and they are like totally fuckin lame. We used the Pecker Ball Gag exactly twice before one of the little straps broke rendering the entire thing useless. WTF? This just goes to show you that a toy is only as good as its weakest part.

Great idea, piss-poor execution, that is if you ask me. But what can you expect from something under $10?

ENJOY

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Moist, Damp, WET!

We’re back with yet another Product Review Friday and it’s an all lube day, thank you very much! Yes siree folks, these slip-sliddin review products came to us by way of our friends at Wet.

We have a selection of 4 of the best selling Wet products to tell you about today. Dr Dick Review Crew members — Christa, Carlos, Joy & Dixie and Mick & Chuck, have the lowdown.

Wet Platinum Bodyglide —— $12.03

Christa
I’m just a teensy bit of a lube fanatic. There I said it! The reason I’m like this is I learned about four years ago that my mother had to suffer through sex with my father for years, because neither one of them knew anything about personal lubricants. That just makes me so angry. My mother’s whole life would have been different had there been lube available to her. She probably would have enjoyed sex instead of experiencing it as a painful troublesome chore.

I sometimes wonder how many other women, even nowadays, have no information or access to a good personal lubricant. You know what I think? I think there should be some kind of foundation or nonprofit organization that has as its mission the education and dispensing lube wherever women gather. Imagine how transformational that would be.

Ok, I’ll get off my soapbox now. I’m just glad that I live in this day and age. I can hardly imagine my sex life with out lube. So I’m always up for trying a new product. And Wet Platinum Bodyglide made my day.

Silicone based lubes are my favorite for just about every kind of sex, except, that is, for use with my silicone toys. Silicone based lubes last longer than water-based lubricants and they are also water resistant. Wet Platinum Bodyglide keeps everything slippery with just few drops, so this product will last and last. This is the ideal lube for ass play and it’s latex compatible (use a condom!). My little sub ass whore of a BF really loves Wet Platinum Bodyglide too. And if he gets off on it, you know it’s good. He’s like the total ass play lube connoisseur.

Wet Platinum Bodyglide has a slightly thinner consistency than some of the other premium lube brands I’ve tried, but that hasn’t been an issue for me or the BF. It certainly is less expensive than a lot of the other premium brands, so there’s that. And there is no discernible taste or smell, which is a very good thing in my book.

Ya know what I liked? I really liked the bottle design. I know that doesn’t sound like an important thing, but it is. The Wet Platinum Bodyglide bottle has a notch in the side that makes holding on to it, even with lubed-up fingers very easy. Now that’s being thoughtful in the design department, if you ask me. Other lube bottles are smooth and cylindrical and they just slip through one’s fingers. And that can and often does make spilling the lube a problem.

Being water-resilient; silicone-based lube is more difficult to clean up than water-based lube. No surprise there I suppose. Soap and warm water will work for body parts, but clothes, linens and sheets are a different story. I always pre-treat lube stained laundry with liquid detergent before washing. Then I never have a problem with staining.

You want a high quality silicone-based lube, but don’t want to pay through the nose; then I recommend Wet Platinum Bodyglide. It delivers everything you expect in the quality department, but at a very reasonable price. Snap some of this up, folks.

Wet Original Classic —— $9.11

Carlos
I was given a 3.5oz container of Wet Original Classic to use for my review. It’s nice that I got as much as I did. I hate trying to review a lube product with only a tiny sample packet.

The 3.5 oz container provided me more then enough lube for several play events, both by myself and with my wife. The beautiful thing about water based lubes, like Wet Original, is that it’s non-greasy. And that makes clean up a breeze. And it will never stain clothing, furniture or sheets. I love that!

Wet Original is actually a moisturizing gel, so it has a thicker consistency than some other water based lubes I’ve tried. I like that too, a lot.

It comes in a handy flip-top plastic bottle. It has a textured notch on its side that makes holding on to the bottle and opening and closing it effortless even with slippery hands and fingers.

I’m often frustrated by water based lubes because they tend to dry out pretty fast. But Wet Original is surprising long-lasting. I actually had to reread the label to make sure it was water based. That was kind of funny.

You can use Wet Original with all your favorite toys too, especially silicone and cyberskin toys.

My wife has very sensitive skin, but she didn’t have any adverse reaction to this lube, which surprised both her and me. Wet Original is also very inexpensive. It has no odor or taste. so basically I’m saying that this is a mighty fine all-purpose lube.

Wet Naturals Beautifully Bare —— $9.11

Joy & Dixie
Dixie: “Wet Naturals Beautifully Bare is about the best lube I have ever used. I love this stuff.”
Joy: “I totally second that! Before we tried Beautifully Bare you would have had a very hard time convincing me that a water-based lube could be this amazing. I can’t sing its praises enough.”
Dixie: “Its hypo-allergenic formula is free of the additives that one commonly finds in lube, like glycerin and parabens. And trust me, finding a high quality lube that doesn’t contain a lot of dubious chemicals isn’t easy. That’s why Joy and I are so stoked about Beautifully Bare. Everyone, but especially women; even those of us with very sensitive skin can now play worry-free.”
Joy: “Beautifully Bare is enriched with vitamins and botanicals that make this lube a safe supplement to my own wetness. It absorbs easily into my skin; there is no residue or stickiness.”
Dixie: “It comes in a flip-top plastic bottle that is easy to open and close. And there is an easy-grip notch on the side of the bottle that makes it easy to handle even with lubed up fingers. I thought that was a very thoughtful design.”
Joy: “Because Beautifully Bare is water-based there’s a no hassle clean up. It won’t stain or discolor clothing or bedding and it is tasteless and odorless. I am so impressed with this stuff.”
Dixie: “And all of this at a bargain basement price!”
Joy: “Beautifully Bare is ideal for jilling-off, it’s condom compatible and is great with all my toys.”
Dixie: “It may not last as long as our favorite silicone-based lube, but most of the time, when I’m enjoying myself by myself, I don’t need that kind of staying power.”
Joy: “Beautifully Bare wouldn’t be my choice for anal, but then again, no water-based lube that I know of works as well as well as a silicone-based lube for butt play.”
Dixie: “We think so highly of Beautifully Bare that we won’t go back to using any of the other water-based lubes we have. And that’s saying a lot.”
Joy: “We encourage you to try Beautifully Bare you won’t be disappointed. I promise!”

Wet Oil Base —— $9.26

Mick & Chuck
Mick: “For review purposes, we received a 3.8oz plastic bottle of Wet Oil Base body glide lube. Just so you know, this is the first oil-based lube we’ve ever tried.”
Chuck: “This stuff rocks for jerkin off. I mean, we didn’t know what we were missing till Mick and I landed this Wet Oil Base for review.”
Mick: “Chuck and I sometimes have marathon edging sessions. We slip on our favorite cockring, pop in a hot porn DVD or two and stroke ourselves silly.”
Mick: “My dick used to get sore when all we had was water-based lube for these events. And there was the endless adding lube when the water-based stuff dried out, which it does very easily.”
Chuck: “So true. But Wet Oil Base is different, because it lasts and lasts. What a difference an oil-based formula makes!”
Mick: “You’ll want to be careful not to get this stuff on furniture. It’s a bitch to clean up. So when we’re havin one of our pullin our pud contests; we just put down some towels and let it rip!”
Chuck: “And just so you know; Wet Oil Base is not recommended for use with latex condoms.”
Mick: “And ya know my skin feels so soft and smooth after using this stuff. I guess it contains a bunch of moisturizers and whatnot.”
Chuck: “It’s odorless and colorless and it’s intended for external use only. So keep that in mind.”
Mick: “We think every guy should have a stash of Wet Oil Base for those times when only a little stroke session will do.”
Chuck: “Oh, and may I suggest that you use this product sparingly. A little goes a very long way. You never have to over do it.”

ENJOY

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Battle Of The Strokers

Holy cow sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday and we have something truly unique for you today. In honor of NATIONAL MASTURBATION MONTH, which everyone knows starts tomorrow, 05/01/10; we bring you our first annual stroke-off.

That’s right people; three of The Dr Dick Review Crew’s most able-bodied men — Jack, Kevin and Hank volunteered to bust a nut while using one of the three new masturbators we got from our new friends at Adult Sex Toys .com.

To paraphrase the old saying: To the Victor Goes The Spooge!

Sue Johanson Head Honcho —— $13.97

Jack
I’m up first today with the Head Honcho, a sex toy endorsed by sex educator and host of television’s Sex Talk With Sue Johanson. This thing is supposed to mimic a blowjob. Well, I’ve had my share of hummers and the Head Honcho doesn’t come close to a blowjob.

One thing I want to point out from the start. The Adult Sex Toys .com says that the Head Honcho is made of silicone. But it is not silicone. That’s gotta be a typo, because it is really made of TPR (Thermoplastic Rubber), or so says the packaging. Actually, when I first pulled it out of the box I thought for sure it was jelly latex. Hey, maybe there’s no difference between the two.

At any rate, this mystery material surely contain latex and phthalates; I looked it up online. And for me phthalates are a no no. That’s strike 1! It has a cloying chemical smell, which also kinda smells like cherry Kool-Aid. Ick! Dr Dick calls off gas. This was a boner killer let me tell ya. This is strike 2.

I decided to wash it to rid it of some of the smell. The bath helped, but then the Head Honcho got all sticky. I tried to dry it off with a towel, but that made matters worse. It got all linty and gross. This was strike 3. I was about to skip the whole damn thing when I called Dr Dick for advice. He told me to let it completely air dry then dust it with body powder or cornstarch. This was supposed to cut down on the stickiness. This intervention sorta saved the day.

With all that prep work behind me I finally settled down to some hot porn, some nice water based lube and the considerably less tacky Head Honcho. Because the masturbator is so soft and floppy, it was hard to plug my cock into the mouth-shaped aperture in the front of the toy. Besides that, the hole isn’t very big and I’m pretty hung, so there’s that. Strike 4!

Once I finally got it on my cock I could feel the suction chambers in the neck of the toy. That was kinda cool. But again something happened that killed my boner. There is no bottom or closed base to this thing. And before I knew it the lube I used in the Head Honcho to pave the way for my cock began to dribble out the base. Ok, so that was my fault, not the fault of the toy. But damn, that sure as hell wrecked the moment.

I did finally finish myself off this one time with the Head Honcho. It was a pretty ok nut. But considering the work I had to do just to squeeze one out, it hardly seems worth the effort.

I did the necessary clean up — soap and water, air dry, body powder — after I shot my load. Then I just put the Head Honcho back in the plastic bag it came in and hid it in the back of a drawer. I don’t see me using this ever again.

Bummer!

COLT Power Stroker —— $16.02

Kevin
The masturbator I got is called the COLT Power Stroker. It’s a pint-sized thing that looks like a hand grenade. I’m serious! I mean what marketing genius came up with this concept? I just shook my head in disbelief.

Ok, I won’t hold the shape against it. To each his own, right? But I think I do have a legitimate quarrel with the size. It’s so small! It’s not even 5” tall. I’m not hung like a horse or anything, but common on! This means the only part of your dick that will get massaged with this thing is the tip.

The grenade shape does have one advantage; it’s easy to hold on to. The ridges on the shaft and the notch at the base make for a firm grip even with lubed hands.

The packaging says the Power Stroker is super tight, yet stretchy. Both of those claims are true, especially the super tight claim. Like I said, I have a normal sized dick, but the Power Stroker was difficult for me to invade…to continue the war metaphor.

The packaging also says that the Power Stroker is made of a NEW Futurotic Material. WHAT? Another marking ploy, I guess. I actually took the time to look this up online. Apparently this material contains latex and phthalates. Let’s face it; you can’t have something this soft and squishy without phthalates. So if you can’t do with out soft and squishy, then live with the consequences. But you should know that phthalates are a potential hazard to your reproductive health.

The Power Stroker didn’t have much of a chemical smell. It also came with it’s own little container of powder to dust it with after cleaning. This is a very thoughtful addition. Because if you don’t dust it with powder after cleaning the NEW Futurotic Material gets really tacky and can actually start to break down. This gets me to another point; don’t store this, or any jelly latex toy near another such toy. There will be a chemical reaction that will melt them both. Scary stuff, right?

As far as my jerkoff session with the Power Stroker goes; it was fine. I used water-based lube for easier insertion. But frankly I’m convinced my hand works better. I have all kinds of different strokes available to me with my hands. The Power Stroker, on the other hand, allows for only an up and down motion. Some guys get off on that alone, I prefer a little more variety when I’m spanking the monkey.

I’m ambivalent about recommending the Power Stroker. It does what it claims to do, so maybe that ought to be the last word.

Stroker Xl —— $34.96

Hank
I came away with what I think is the ideal masturbation sleeve. Here is the Stroker Xl, which is made of 100% silicone. There’s no topping that for quality, durability and ease of care.

The silicone in the Stroker Xl is much softer and more supple than I expected. In fact, is so flexible that you can turn it inside out with ease. The outside of the sleeve is smooth; yet, I had no problem getting grip on it even with slightly lubed up hands. The inside has numerous waves, which provide a really nice massaging action on my cock. I really like the fact that the opening (and you can use either end) is wide enough to accommodate my big wiener. If I have to struggle to insert my cock into something, especially a toy; forgetaboutit!

The Stroker Xl is an opaque white color. There’s nothing fussy about it and it doesn’t have that faux flesh feeling to it. And that’s because silicone doesn’t contain harmful Phthalates that would make other materials soft and squishy. And you know Phthalates can be harmful to your health, right?

I had a ball bustin my nut with the Stroker Xl. I grabbed me some water-based lube and slathered it all over my johnson. I was able to pierce the sleeve with ease, yet there was enough friction for some mighty fine pleasure. One drawback is that the sleeve is open at both ends. This doesn’t allow for a vacuum effect that a lot of the other masturbators I’ve tried create. I mean it’s no big thing, because depending on the strength of my grip, I can do a lot of the same thing with just my hand.

It’s kind of a short sleeve, just sort of 6”. That’s not a problem, because I liked seeing my dickhead come out the top with each stroke. After my first very successful stroke session I had two more in the next 36 hours. I plan on keeping the Stroker Xl handy for those “I really need to get off right now” moments. I seem to have a lot of those.

Again, clean up is a snap. Warm soapy water does the trick. It air dries easy enough too. And there is no tacky, sticky effects that happens with those squishy sleeves. In fact, you can even sterilize the Stroker Xl by boiling it; running it through the dishwasher; or wiping it down with a 10% bleach or peroxide solution.

I store my Stroker Xl in a sock in my drawer. Keeps it clean and ready for use at the drop of a hat. Whoops, did I just drop my hat?

If you are looking for a top of the line masturbation sleeves, I defy you to find anything better than the Stroker Xl.

ENJOY

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Batter UP

It’s Product Review Friday! Today, we’re gonna do some winding up before we pitch. That is we wind up our first installment of products from SexToy.com. today. We also conclude the Elbow Grease reviews that we started back in February. See them HERE.

Today’s Review Crew Members: Mick & Chuck and Ken & Denise.

Parachute Ball Stretcher —— $15.84

3 Snap Pyramid Studded Cock Strap —— $7.70

Mick & Chuck
Mick: “We have two great fun toys to tell you about. There’s a Ball Stretcher and a Cock Strap.”
Chuck: “You can use these together or separately. But we want to talk about them one at a time.”
Mick: “First up let’s take a look at this fine Pyramid Studded Cock Strap. It’s the perfect cock and ball accessory and it’s functional too. Cockrings or, in this case, a strap are the first line of defense for erections. I think if more men knew about and used one of these devices there’d be less need for ED meds, like Viagra.”
Chuck: “Mick and I have a big collection of rings and straps between us. We both love the way they strengthen our erections. I’m partial to the strap kind of device, like this Pyramid Studded Cock Strap. It’s easily adjusted for whatever kind of look I’m going for. Say I want a nice hard cock to pound some hot ass. I simply tighten the strap till it’s snug. But if I want to use it as jewelry to dress up my junk like for walkin around a sex club or a play party; well there’s nothing better than a studded cock strap. It beautifully frames your cock and balls. It has three snaps so it adjusts from 1.75 to 3 inches in diameter.”
Mick: “The black leather and studs are hot! Ya know, I’m seeing more and more younger guys using a strap like the Pyramid Studded Cock Strap on their wrist these days. Is it a fashion statement, or is it just that they want to be prepared for the unexpected hookup that could occur at any time?”
Chuck: “Either way, the Pyramid Studded Cock Strap is great. One thing you should know, however, is that ya gotta keep the strap clean if you want it to look its best and last. Wipe it down with a cloth dampened with warm soapy water and let it dry fully. Oil based lubes will take a toll on the leather if not cared for properly.”
Mick: “Good point!
Now let’s move on to the Parachute Ball Stretcher. Chuck has a set of beautiful low hanging balls. I dig this look a lot. I, on the other hand, was not so blessed. But that doesn’t mean I can’t have what I admire. All I have to do is work on it and they will be mine.”
Chuck: “That’s where the Parachute Ball Stretcher comes in. Ya strap the black leather parachute thingy on to your ball sack snug up against your cock. This allows the chains suspended from it to hang free. And this is where things get interesting. With the Parachute Ball Stretcher in place, you can add weights to it; ya know for stretching your nut sack. No weights come with this package, but it’s not too difficult to find even makeshift weights around the house; and then there’s always the hardware store. There’s a O-ring on the end of the chains that make attaching the weights a snap.”
Mick: “If you’ve never tried ball stretching you’re in for a treat. It is very erotic and it actually works to add some length to how your jewels hang. I get off on this thing big time. The leather parachute is comfortable to wear for extended periods of time. My only caution to you is that you start out slow. Don’t go piling on the weights till you know what you’re doing.”
Chuck: “Like I said at the beginning, you can use these two things together, or separately.”
Mick: “Make your cock hard as a rock and/or stretch out your ball sack. Either way you win.”
Chuck: “And you’ll look hot doing either or both.”

For review purposes, our friends at Elbow Grease sent us a 1 oz container of each of their products —
ELBOW GREASE Hot Light —— $4.75

ELBOW GREASE Original —— $4.75

Ken & Denise
Denise: “Finding just the right lube for anal can be a challenge. We’ve tried several; some work better than others. But for my money, (Actually, the review sample we got was free, but you get the idea.) ELBOW GREASE Original is the best. It’s thick and creamy and it lasts and lasts. It’s the most long lasting lube we’ve tried.”

Ken: “Curiously enough, we’d never tried ELBOW GREASE Original before, because we had never heard of it before. We were talking to some gay friends about this very thing and they couldn’t believe their ears. ‘You’ve never hear of Elbow Grease? That’s impossible. It’s been around for like fucking ever.’”
Denise: “Who Knew? I think it’s a gay thing!”
Ken: “Yeah, maybe that’s it. Anyhow, ELBOW GREASE Original really stands up to whatever you throw its way. A small amount is all we really needed for some big time ass play. Denise loves her toys!”
Denise: “You have to remember that ELBOW GREASE Original is an oil-based lube and it’s not for use with latex condoms. But if you and your playmate don’t have to worry about stuff like that, then have yourself a ball…or two.”
Ken: “This shit is great for those marathon jerkoff sessions us men really love. Well, I do anyhow. Listen, if it can stand up to intense ass play, you know for certain that it will serve you and your palm very well.
Speaking of the hot set up for pullin your pud, try yourself some ELBOW GREASE Hot Light. It’s kinda like the original formula, but it has menthol that heats things up pretty nice. Ya rub it in and in a matter of moments things are warming up in more ways than one. It’s the kind of warmth that you’d experience if you were rubbing skin on skin without any lube. It’s a real treat.”

Denise: “I really got off on this stuff too when I played with myself one afternoon. The warming sensation is not in anyway over the top; as I feared it might be. It’s warm, not burny. I have pretty sensitive skin, so at first I was a little leery of using it internally. But there were no adverse effects, I’m happy to report.”
Ken: “I had the opportunity to compare the thickness, creaminess, and viscosity of the two products and I decided that I prefer the ELBOW GREASE Hot Light formula. I guess I just prefer the subtlety.”
Denise: “I, on the other hand, prefer the ELBOW GREASE Original formula. I like the density and I know that it’s going to do the job, especially when I’m enjoying by butt.”
Ken: You can get creative with the hot formula too. Rub it on nipples and feet, your balls will love it too.

ENJOY

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Touch Down

Product Review Friday is comin’ at ya!

We have another couple more adult products from SexToy.com today. The Dr Dick Review Crew members — Angie and Jada do the show and tell. Let’s get right to it!

Erotic Sex Positions DVD —— $18.57

Angie
I have the pleasure of introducing you to a wonderful educational DVD for couples. This is the very first video of its kind that I’ve ever seen. And I must say, I liked it very much.

I’ve watched some porn in my day. I can’t say that it turns me on all that much, especially the stuff that my husband enjoys. I know it’s all fantasy and I know that most of it is purposely geared to horny straight males, but the women in the movies are almost always characteratures; nothing more than sexual objects and bimbos. I find that annoying and not the least bit sexy.

I know this is going to sound weird coming from a straight married woman of my age, but I really like gay porn. There, I’ve finally said it out loud.

Anyhow, back to the Erotic Sex Positions DVD. This is sure enough sexually explicit, but it definitely isn’t porn. It’s instructional in nature. It’s presented by two women who work in porn — Crystal Lowe and Natasha Ray. This is a big plus in my book. They set a perfect tone for what we see in this DVD. By the way, they also collaborated on another video — ‘Seductive Sex Positions’.

This DVD features 27 erotic techniques and sexual positions. It has an instructional play mode and a lovemaking play mode. So you can use it to learn something new or use it as background sexual enhancement. There are three different couples in the movie, which adds to the interest level. It has what they call a ‘Tantalizing Foreplay Teaser,’ which is also fun. And there are interactive menus too. In other words, this is a pretty elaborate presentation and very professionally produced.

The hosts provide instructions while the couples demonstrate. Some of the positions are for the more adventurous. And frankly, one would need to be very fit, trim, lithe and supple to pull them off. But they were fun to watch nonetheless even if my husband and I could never do them.

This is an ideal sexual enhancement DVD for straight couples, even ones squeamish about nudity and sex. You should also know that there are no intense close-ups of penetration or anything off-putting like that.

Rechargeable Infrared Playpal —— $23.43

Jada
What we have here is a 7-inch, hard plastic, waterproof, rechargeable, dual-speed vibe. And if California Exotic, the manufacturer of the Rechargeable Infrared Playpal, had left it at that I’d have a sturdy basic vibe that I could recommend.

Unfortunately they decided to add some kind of cockamamie infrared heating element on the tip of the massager and they messed up the whole damn thing in the process.

Not only does the heating element not noticeably warm up, but in order to place it in the tip of the vibe they had to add this rubber flange or seal so as to keep the thing waterproof. And there in lies the problem. This flange, or whatever you call it, has a completely different texture than the hard smooth plastic. So even with lube this becomes a major sticking point, both literally and figuratively. It makes it impossible to be used on delicate parts, let alone insertion. Think of it rubber patch on a slippery slide. All is well till you hit that patch; then look out! This is particularly true for use in water where lube would be ineffectual.

From the looks of the package this item is designed to appeal to a younger crowd. And perhaps younger people have yet to acquire the ability to discern between a good product and one that sucks…and not in a good way. But the Rechargeable Infrared Playpal will help them figure this out in short order. Because, despite the other laudable aspects of the vibe — waterproof, rechargeable, dual-speed — it’s not worth the twenty-some bucks you’d have to pay for it.

ENJOY

Posted on

Make that move right now, baby!

Weeee’re back! We all had a terrific Spring Break and now The Dr Dick Review Crew is ready to dazzle you once again with a new load of sex toys.

We welcome yet another swell online retailer, the amazing SexToy.com.  The Review Crew has been invited to join them in reviewing the vast array of adult products they carry. So over the coming months we will be sharing with you tons of new products. Welcome aboard SexToy.com.

This week we bring you an interesting selection from the SexToy.com catalogue. Review Crew Members — Jack & Karen, Ken & Denise and Glenn & Hank do the honors

3” Aluminum Butt Plug —— $36.30

Jack & Karen
Karen: “Those who follow our reviews know that both Jack and I are relative new-cumers to anal. Sometimes it takes us a while to warm up to a full on ass-ult. We both really get into it once we’re loosened up a bit. Originally, I offered up my butt to please him. I didn’t think there’d be much in it for me, but I was willing to give it a try for him. Boy, was I ever mistaken. I swear, I’m getting the lion’s share of the pleasure when Jack fucks me back there.”
Jack: “I love her for trying anal, just for me. And because she did it just to please me, I figured it was high time for me to do the same.”
Karen: “I love the control and sense of power I have when I strap one on.”
Jack: “Like Karen said; we both still need a warm up when it’s our turn to bottom. And we discovered just the right thing for us both. It’s the 3” Aluminum Butt Plug from California Exotics.”
Karen: “Neither one of us has ever used a butt plug before, so this was virgin territory for us both. This beauty is polished, seamless aluminum, gently weighted at the head for heavenly internal stimulation. It has a very gentle teardrop shape that makes insertion deliciously easy. And there’s no chance that it will slip all the way in, because the base prevents that.”
Jack: “Because it’s nonporous it is easily cleaned and sterilized so that we can share the toy. Only problem now is we’re fighting over who gets to use it first.”
Karen: “The 3” Aluminum Butt Plug is very comfortable to wear too. I can easily wear it for an hour or two. I had been wondered how I could work on loosening myself up before the big event with Jack. So here’s what I’ve come up with. In anticipation of some hot backdoor action with Jack, I simply insert the plug in advance of our play together. Wearing this thing for even 30 minutes makes my ass hungry for more.”
Jack: “She’s like totally primed for my dick when play time begins. And you can warm or chill aluminum for an added sensation.”
Karen: “This anal plug comes in a reusable box lined in black satin. Oh, and I almost forgot. There’s an embedded “gem” in the base of the plug that makes it even more stylish.”
Jack: “You can use any type of lube you want with this puppy. It will stand up to whatever you throw its way.”
Karen: “The 3” Aluminum Butt Plug is the ideal addition to anyone’s toy box. And here a tip: if you’re a couple, invest in a matching set. This strategy will cut down on the bickering about whose turn it is to wear it.”

Fetish Fantasy Ultra Position Master —— $54.45

Ken & Denise
Denise: “I’m all about being comfortable when having sex.”
Ken: “Yeah, unless the object is to be decidedly uncomfortable, right honey?”
Denise: “That’s right, dear. So we jumped at the opportunity to try out this Ultra Position Master. It’s basically an oversized inflatable cushion that has a kind of wedge shape to it. It’s supposed to make just about any sex position more comfortable.”
Ken: “It also has four EZ-Grip handles, two on each side, for the fucker and fuckee to hang on to. Very clever idea! It’s a vinyl blow-up kinda thing covered in this black-flocked material. This keeps it from skidding on the carpet or bed when the action gets hot and heavy. Which is another terrific selling point, to my mind.”
Denise: “The package says that the air seal valve makes inflating the wedge a snap. Well, that’s only partially true. Blowing up this thing, without some kind of pump, is a fuckin chore. It’s true that when you blow into the cushion the valve keeps it from deflating between breaths. But damn, blowing it up knocked the wind out of us both…literally. The manufacturer really needs to include some kind of pump with this thing.
Ken: “I totally agree. By the time we got it fully inflated, and fully inflated is the key; we didn’t much want to bother with the fuckfest. But we did press on, good Review Crew Members that we are.”
Denise: “The package also touts the fact that the Ultra Position Master can support up to 300 pounds. Again, I have to disagree. Ken and I started out mimicking the positions we saw on the package. You have to assume that the two models using the cushion in the promotional photos are together about 300 lbs if not more. But you don’t see the cushion straining to accommodate them. They are clearly not using the same product that we have. Or these photos have been altered. Either way, this is deceptive advertising and it really pisses me off.”
Ken: “Denise and I are not all that different in size for the models on the package, but the Ultra Position Master only supported one of us at a time. When we both but our full weight on it, it felt like it was gonna burst. There was even a creaking sound under us.”
Denise: “I certainly didn’t want it to burst, so we played it safe. The positions that allow for only one person on the cushion at a time are the only ones we tried. And frankly the Ultra Position Master worked fine for that. Like Ken mentioned earlier, the EZ-Grip handles are a very nice feature.”
Ken: “After our first go around with this thing we left it inflated so that our second event wouldn’t start out with us being breathless.”
Denise: “Two days later we went to collect our Ultra Position Master only to find that it had deflated quite a bit on its own in the interim. I was fit to be tied.”
Ken: “No wonder the package contains a repair kit! We had had our fill of this thing by that point. I certainly wasn’t gonna go find the leak to patch it. and even if I did, there’s no guarantee that the same thing wouldn’t happen again.”
Denise: “We suggest you save your money and put it toward buying some really good sex furniture like the stuff Liberator puts out.”

Titanmen Vibrations #3 Master —— $21.87

Glenn & Hank
Glenn: “First off; Hank and I are Titan Media’s biggest fans. You don’t know Titan Media? Get with it, fuckers! They’re about the best gay porn producers out there. Check it out. And a big shout out to our favorite Titan star, Tony Buff.”
Hank: “The reason Glenn said what he did about Titan Media is because today we have one of their signature toys to review. It’s called the Titanmen Vibrations #3 Master. We’ve seen these online for months now and have been itchin’ to get our paws on some of these.”
Glenn: “The Vibrations #3 Master is so hot lookin. It big; it’s bold; it’s ribbed and it’s my favorite color — black.”
Hank: “If I know Glenn, and I think I do, his rosebud was twitchin’ in anticipation of this billy club of a vibe landin’ where the sun don’t shine.”
Glenn: “Oh man; I could hardly wait to get it out of the package.”
Hank: “It’s waterproof, bendable and truly man-sized. It’s powered by 2 AA batteries, which are not included in the package.”
Glenn: “So I rip through the package to get hold of this monster and low and behold the thing smells totally funky. It has this strong odor of off gas that tells me this thing is not made of quality materials. Don’t know what off gas is; look it up! You’ll be just as freaked out as me.
This really sucks, in my humble opinion. The package says that it’s made of Silagel. Never heard of it. But it is supposed to be anti-bacterial, non-toxic and latex free. If it’s non-toxic; what’s causing the smell?”
Hank: “We’ve been doing these reviews long enough to know that when a toy smells funny, like this one does, we know not to use it on, or in our bodies. Our noses are our first line of defense against harmful materials. Your nose should be too.”
Glenn: “So I scrubbed the blasted thing down with soap and hot water before using it. There was still a faint smell after its bath, so I decided to slip a condom over it before I had Hank shoved it in my ass.”
Hank: “The condom, while a wise precaution, really took away from the kick-ass look of the toy. And that’s really too bad. I wonder why Titan didn’t insist on silicone for their signature line. Everything else they do is first class, why not their toys? Most of us don’t mind paying a bit more for a quality toy. Know what I mean?”
Glenn: “So anyhow, with new batteries in place I tested out the vibration. It’s pretty wimpy in terms of vibration, even at the highest speed.”
Hank: “And the rheostat kinda speed adjustment thingy on the toy’s base is pathetically second rate.”
Glenn: “The Vibrations #3 Master looks like it’s made to last; the packaging says it’s indestructible. That’s bull-oney! Closer inspection shows it to be a cheap crummy toy. But then again, ya can’t really expect otherwise for $20.”
Hank: “I hate when this happens. We both were so psyched to finally own one of these toys. But in the end, it was disappointment-ville all the way. Come on Titan; you surely can do better than this.”

ENJOY!

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Free Your Mind!

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday once again. In fact these are our last reviews before our annual Spring Break. The Dr Dick Review Crew will return on 04/09/10

But before we leave for our moment in the sun, we want to bring you some swell toys with a bit of an edge to them. I keep hearing from people that we don’t review nearly enough fetish and kink stuff. Point taken!

The problem has always been connecting with a good edgy toy company that wanted to send us stuff for review. But I believe I now have that problem solved. We welcome a new retailer — Spartacus Leathers. And they are Pacific Northwest neighbors, dont’ cha know; from Portland Oregon.

Review Crew members Gina & Kevin are back with us and they will show & tell us about these three kinky toys.

Nipple Clamps with Vibrator —— $39.00

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “Gosh it’s been a while since our last review. Great to be back.”
Kevin: “Yeah, and finally some kinky toys, ya’ll.”
Gina: “I was just rereading the first review I did with Kevin way back in August 2008. I can’t get over how much I’ve changed since then. For one thing, I’ve discovered I have a real kinky side to me. I can thank all those years of Catholic school for that.”
Kevin: “You can say that again. Gina is maturing into a real pervert. I love it!”
Gina: “I’m discovering that I have a preference for the Dom role, but I can also switch for some sub action.”
Kevin: “When I began introducing Gina to BDSM we played with household items — clothespins, scarves, belts, rubber bands and hairbrushes!”
Gina: “But now we have some real stuff. Case in point; our very own set of Nipple Clamps with Vibrator.”
Kevin: “The nipple tweezer clamps part rocks. However, I was completely under whelmed by the vibe part. It had way more of a tickling sensation than a vibration sensation. I felt it actually detracted from the play instead of enhancing it.”
Gina: “I liked this set up more than Kevin did. The adjustable clamps are very nice. Having them being on an 18″ link chain adds to the possibilities. But Kevin is right, not too much zoom in the vibe, but it is very quiet. I think the design would improve if the vibe was a bit heavier and it had more kick to it.”
Kevin: “There was this great unintentional treat though. When I was wearing the clamps I inadvertently dragged the bullet along Gina’s body while I was on top of her. She clearly got more pleasure from the vibe in this way than I did.”
Gina: “Yeah, that was fun! So then we got the brainstorm to disconnect the vibe that came with the set and we attached a more powerful and heavier vibe that we had handy. We had to gerryrig it, but it worked fine.”
Kevin: “Ok, so we both agree that this is a dynamite concept. We just think that the vibe thing needs some tweaking.”

Divinity White Leather Blindfold —— $25.50

Gina & Kevin
Kevin: “I love blindfolds! I love the wear them as much as I love playing with someone who is wearing them. Anyone who hasn’t tried a blindfold doesn’t know what he’s missing.”
Gina: “I totally agree. When one sense is incapacitated the other senses are heightened. We’ve played with blindfolding one another on numerous occasions. It’s so much fun. However the Divinity White Leather Blindfold is our very first “real” blindfold. It’s made of actual leather and it has a plush blue faux fur lining. They even added three faux gems too.”
Kevin: “It’s like totally over the top girly, but there’s nothing wrong with that. Having someone blindfolded and at your mercy is just as much fun. You get to experiment with the elements of surprise and trust in your play.”
Gina: “It fits surprisingly well. It has a wide elastic headband that should fit all but the tiniest of heads and the headband is very comfortable too. That make wearing it for long periods of play time a pleasure.”
Kevin: “Yeah, the fleece lined eye pieces are absolutely wonderful and allow me to keep it over my eyes for hours without any strain at all.”
Gina: “If you’ve never played with sensory deprivation before — especially blindfolds — I highly recommend it. Divinity White Leather Blindfold is a perfect toy for either those who are just starting out or who have a great deal of experience.”
Kevin: “Totally! Get on this right away, you guys. I mean this simple addition to your sexual repertoire will enhance your sex play. And it’s relatively inexpensive too. Who knows, maybe you’ll discover that you have a kinky streak.”

V-Style Cockring and Ball Divider —— $18.50

Gina & Kevin
Kevin: “Finally I have something exclusively for me. I’m a big fan of cockrings and this V-Style Cockring and Ball Divider is great. I love the way it looks and feels”
Gina: “Again, I totally agree. He looks so hot in this thing. Sometimes I make him do the housework wearing only it.”
Kevin: “She’s gonna be an amazing dominatrix one of these days.”
Gina: “Thanks honey! We aim to please.”
Kevin: “This is made of soft oiltan leather and the V-style divider firmly separates my balls while providing the pleasurable and erection enhancing effects of a cockring.
I am blessed with a pair of low hangers, so this kind of cockring is fantastic. The simple snap closure design allows me to adjust the tightness of both the ring and ball divider straps. Very cool!.
I got the black leather version, but it also come in red leather. The nickel-free hardware made for sensitive skin, is only available in black. I encourage you to spend the extra couple bucks. The snaps will look nicer and last longer too.
The V-style lifts my “equipment” up and out of the way of my taint and asshole.This clears the path for Gina to terrorize my ass with a butt plug or strap-on on me when she’s blowin’ me. I tell you, there’s nothing finer!
Like I mentioned, the cockring portion does help me maintain my erection allowing me to last longer when we’re fucking.”
Gina: “Did I mention that he looks smokin’ hot in this thing?”
Kevin: “Ok guys, get in on this, because the V-Style Cockring and Ball Divider is the hot set up. You will not be disappointed. It’s both a stylish sexual accessory and a very helpful sex aid. And hey Spartacus Leathers thanks for all the great toys. More please!”

ENJOY!

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Clear The Deck

Hey sex fans!

It’s Friday! And that means it’s Product Review Day. We have an interesting line up for you today. We’re clearing the decks, so to speak, to make room for the load of new adult products arriving on a weekly basis. Wait till you see what we have in store for you in upcoming reviews. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, because some of today’s items are pretty amazing.

First off we have another Good Vibes Brand Ambassador review. Review Crew Member, Carlos, has a silicone butt plug to show us.

Jada is up next and she’ll introduce us to another Blush Novelties rabbit vibe.

Finally, Glenn & Hank have a couple styles of “love gloves” from Sweden, called RFSU Condoms to tell us about.

Sidekick Silicone Anal Plug —— $22.00

Carlos
Those of you who follow my reviews know that I have a prostate problem. And I’m not ashamed to admit it either. I’m also very into ass play. I have very little outlet for that with other guys, because I’m married. (Just so we’re clear, my wife knows about this; so it’s not a Tiger Woods kinda thing.) But even if I were able to connect with other bi or even gay guys more often I don’t think I’d be up for it because of my enlarged prostate. I just can’t bottom like I used to. I know, bummer, huh?

With the onset of my prostate problem a couple of years ago, I became more interested in playing with my own ass. This allows me complete control over the kind of stimulation I can tolerate at any given time. I’ve become particularly fond of butt plugs. But finding just the right one can be a challenge. I can’t have anything too hard. Can’t be too big either. It’s got to be just right. Sounds like Goldilocks, huh?

With that long-winded introduction finished, I can now introduce you to the Sidekick Silicone Anal Plug. This is the perfect butt plug for me. It is smooth and supple, which make it easy to insert and wear for hours at a time. And that’s saying something for a guy with an enlarged prostate, like me. I’m no doctor, but I believe that my condition is actually helped by wearing a butt plug for a period of time a couple times a week. It delivers a very nice prostate massage that seems to soothe things down there.

The Sidekick comes in two sizes. I have the smaller of the two — 3.75” long, 1” in diameter. It has a small bulb at the head; it widens modestly towards the base and has the traditional “plug” notch at the base. That’s what keeps it snugly in place.

This is the perfect toy for the ass play beginner, or someone with an enlarged prostate, like me. It’s really comfortable! If you’re just starting out with ass toys, you really need lube with ass play. And in this case, it has to be a water-based lube. Silicone-based lube will destroy a silicone toy like this.

Silicone toys are among my favorites. Silicone is nonporous, which makes them super easy to clean. Mild soap and warm water works just fine. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution. You can even boil it, or pop it in the upper rack of the dishwasher to disinfect.

As you can see, I love the Sidekick Silicone Anal Plug. I know you will too.

Now here’s Jada.

Wave Rabbit-Waterproof Rabbit —— $42.05

Jada
Here’s a new multi function vibe from Blush Novelties. It’s the sister to Eve’s Rabbit, which my colleague, Christa reviewed back in February.

Like the Eve vibe, the Wave Rabbit is enormous! In fact, it’s so similar; it’s startling. There is a slightly different control panel and Wave Rabbit creates a wavy motion as opposed to Eve’s Rabbit, which has beads that rotate.

It is 11 inches long and clunky as all get-out. It weighs about 1.5lbs, when loaded with the four AA batteries you need to power it. Note: the batteries are not included in the package. Wave Rabbit is more vibe then I’ve ever handled before and certainly more vibe then I need.

There are 8 wave-making functions (in the shaft) and 8 vibrating speeds (in the bunny) and they work independent of one another, which totally great. I’m partial to a rabbit vibe, because clitoral stimulation is very important to me when I’m pleasuring myself. But I found Wave Rabbit completely unwieldy. It’s such a handful that it can be exhausting. I did like that it has a simple on/off switch that avoids having to cycle through the all the speed options just to turn it off.

They claim that the handle and control panel is ergonomic; I beg to differ. While it is true that the control panel is intuitive, there’s nothing ergonomic about it. Like the Eve’s Rabbit, the Wave Rabbit also has a shaft make of a translucent jelly type of material. The package claims it’s phthalate free. But that seems too good to be true; although I have no evidence to the contrary. So let’s just trust them on that.

They also claim the Wave Rabbit is waterproof. I was very doubtful about that once I saw how flimsy the seal on the battery compartment was. I was right to be doubtful. One use in my bath was all it took. The battery compartment got damp…well actually more than just damp. There was water inside. This killed the vibe in its tracks.

Sadly, I can’t recommend this vibe.

Next up we have Glenn & Hank with a couple styles of “love gloves”.

Profil 3-Pack —— $6.00
Mamba 3- Pack —— $6.00

Glenn & Hank
Glenn: “We consume a shit-load of condoms every year.”
Hank: “You might even say we have a little condom fetish.”
Glenn: “We always bring our own condoms to all the play parties we attend. And there are always buckets full of our favorite rubbers available at our house when we are the hosts of a party.”
Hank: “We simply can’t get behind barebacking. I know a lot of guys are doing it these days, but Glenn and I stand firm.”
Glenn: “We play with a lot of people and there’s simply no way of knowing where they’ve all been or what they’ve all been doing. So the path of the least resistance is a love glove; plain and simple!”
Hank: “When you find a good condom; one that fits and that’s comfortable; well, it’s like wearing nothing at all.Profil is one such condom. It fits me perfectly, it’s super sheer and it has a nice reservoir tip; all the things I look for in a rubber.”
Glenn: “I second that! I like the Mamba style. It’s a lot like Profil, but it’s yellow.”
Hank: “Glenn likes yellow because he’s a piss queen.”
Glenn: “That’s not the only reason I like yellow. But yeah, he’s right about me bein a big piss queen.”
Hank: “These condoms are made in Sweden; they’re silky and pre-lubed. The contour is great too. It’s snug right under my dickhead.”
Glenn: “The O!Zone people are the exclusive American importer of these superior RFSU condoms.”
Hank: “Oh, and about the vegan thing. While I never thought much about this before; it does make sense. So here’s the deal, the Vegan Action Foundation certifies that no animal products of any kind were used in the manufacturing of these condoms nor were any animals used in product testing.”
Glenn: “Use these condoms and make yours a greener, cruelty-free fuck.”
Hank: “You can’t beat that with a stick. Buy some today!”

ENJOY!

Posted on

You’re The Top

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday once again. And today we are lucky enough to have another LELO treasure for you to admire.

Dr Dick Review Crew member, Brad discovers the meaning of a Pleasure Object.

BILLY —— $129.00

Brad
DAMN, this is the most expensive sex toy…I mean Pleasure Object I’ve ever seen. Before I got hooked up with the Dr Dick Review Crew I used to make all my own sex toys. You’d be amazed what you can do with some bubble wrap, Jell-O, a battery-powered toothbrush or a bar of soap. Now that I’m an official review crew member I’m getting the education of my life. You’ll probably laugh, but before I got this BILLY I had never hear of LELO.

I knew I was in for a treat just by looking at the packaging. Everything about it says elegant. The message on the package, translated into multiple languages, reads:BILLY is a gentleman’s G-spot massager for those who wish to explore a more energetic sensation within. Benefiting from an ergonomic design tailored precisely to the male form, he offers sustained control through five differing stimulation modes. Such versatility achieves breathtaking results, where vibrations may be kept mild during arousal, before increasing to the levels that excite his user most. Whether enjoyed individually or with a partner, BILLY is a highly discreet and satisfying companion, always primed to deliver the most intense and varied feelings of release.

That a fancy way of sayin’ — ya pop this sucker in your ass for a groovy prostate massage. Hey, can I ask you people to stop referring to a dude’s prostate as “a gentleman’s G-spot”? I think a P-spot is pretty fuckin lame, but “a gentleman’s G-spot” is absolutely ridiculous.

Now that I have that off my back I can get back to telling you about BILLY. It’s a relatively petite thing as far as insertables go. 6.5” total length; 4” insertable length; 3.25″ circumference and weighs in at just about a pound. This is clearly intended for the novice butt pirate.

It has a ridge on the velvety-smooth silicone insertable part that is designed to make BILLY safe for ass play. The whole toy will never accidentally slip all the way in your bum, which is a fear that many guys new to ass play have. I know I did.

The controls for BILLY are located in the handle, which is made of hard plastic. It has 7 power settings and 5 vibe patterns. Steady vibration, three speeds of intermittent vibration and a wave setting where the vibration oscillates between gentle and stronger vibrations. And the best thing is it’s rechargeable. There’s this little port in the tip of the handle that accepts the recharging unit. Pretty slick, huh? My battery budget was gettin outta control. It takes about 2 hours to fully charge. And it’ll last about 4 hours on a full charge. It even lets you know when it is time to recharge. The control dial will glow red, instead of white when pushed.

You’ll have to use lube with this toy. Trying to insert it anally without lube is just asking for trouble. But be sure you use only a water-based lube.

Figuring out the four-quadrant controller can be a challenge. For the life of me I couldn’t figure it out when first I tried. I thought it was a good idea to run through the different speeds and intensities before I popped it in my ass. But suddenly it just died. The white LED light was still on, but I couldn’t get it to vibrate. I thought for sure I fucked up this expensive toy. I put it away for a while so I could review the instructions. On my second attempt, a couple hours later, it miraculously came back to life, but only slowly. I have no idea what the fuck was up with that. Freaked me out though.

Once I had BILLY in my hole, I really liked the feel of it. But I had the damnedest time working the controller while it was in place. The hard plastic handle and control button are impossible to hold on to or manipulate with lubed up fingers and hands. And don’t even think about getting lube in the recharge port, because the thing will be toast for damn sure.

This gets me to clean up. Since BILLY is only splash proof and not waterproof you have to be very careful not to get water in the recharge port either. That being said, soap and water works fine. Or you can wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.

If you can spring the big wad of cash needed to score one of these Pleasure Objects; I say go for it!

ENJOY!

Posted on

Dr Love

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday once again. Following the trend of the last few weeks we have the pleasure of welcoming a new product line by a new manufacturer…well new to us anyhow. Welcome Futuring International Ltd; a German company that manufacturers fine personal lubricants.

Dr Dick Review Crew members — Ken & Denise and Mick & Chuck will introduce you to these new lube products.

Dr.Love Silkening Lubricant —— $21.99

Ken & Denise
Ken: “This is sure enough a German product. You can tell by just looking at the package. The fine print comes in three languages; the primary one is German. I think they used a computer program for the translation into English.”
Denise: “What does that have to do with anything?”
Ken: “Nothing really. Just making a point about authenticity. This is the real deal. Oh and remember when we first looked at the package we weren’t able to tell what kind of lube it was?”
Denise: “Right! Nothing on the package says silicone-based. So we were a bit confused at first. The promotional materials that came with Dr.Love spelled it out, but there was nothing on the package that says so. And it’s important to know that sort of thing, because you wouldn’t want to use this lube with silicone toys. Maybe they just need to add a little stick-on label that says silicone-based. Just a thought.”
Ken: “Dr.Love is a lighter consistency than some of the other silicone-based lubes I’ve used. But it is thicker than your average water-based lube. It’s really silky to the touch and it has plenty of glide. You can tell it’s a quality lube, because you only need a little bit to make things slick as shit. And it’s a slick feeling, not a greasy feeling. There is a big difference, ya know.”
Denise: “There’s no significant smell or taste, which is very appealing to me. It’s also latex and condom safe.”
Ken: “Dr.Love stands up to water very nicely, so it’s great to use in the shower. I love to squeeze one off in shower in the morning, so this a perfect lube for that. You’ll need soap and water for a thorough cleanup.”
Denise: “I thought it dried out a bit quicker than other silicone-based lubes we’ve tried especially when we do anal. But when I use it by myself for self-pleasuring, either with my hand or a toy, it last and lasts. I don’t understand why the discrepancy, but there ya have it.”
Ken: “We used Dr.Love in place of massage oil too and loved it. It feels great on our skin.”
Denise: “And I even used it on my hair as a conditioner; so there’s that. In fact, we went through our 3.4 fl.oz. container in less than a month. So you know we loved this stuff.”
Ken: “One last thing about the packaging. It has a nice pump-style squirt top. The promotional materials say: “Single hand use with drip free dispenser.” The single hand thing is a bit of a stretch, especially if your hand is slick with lube. But the drip-free claim is right on. It also comes with a little plastic doohickey that locks the pump in place so it can’t be pushed down accidentally. This is so important for travel or if you store your lube near your toys or clothing.”
Denise: “We both give Dr.Love high marks. Thanks Futuring International Ltd!

Get MAXXX —— $21.99

Mick & Chuck
Mick: “Our package of Get MAXXX clearly states: ‘purest silicon (sic) lubricant, Made in Germany.’ So we weren’t the least bit confused as to what kind of lube this was.”
Chuck: “We thought Get MAXXX worked best during our stroke sessions. It lubricates without reducing sensation and that’s important when we have one of our marathon sessions.”
Mick: “Yeah, we try to see who can outlast the other. So this is the perfect lube for those edging contests.”
Chuck: “Get MAXXX is long lasting and remains slick and silky, which makes fucking a joy. I hate it when lubes get sticky! It’s completely hypoallergenic too. Ya gotta love that. I love the pump container.”
Mick: “Remember, silicone-based lubes and silicone toys don’t mix!”
Chuck: “Get MAXXX has no discernible taste and it’s odorless.”
Mick: “It has a surprisingly light consistency, but like I’ve already mentioned; it holds up really well when things get hot and heavy.”
Chuck: “This stuff is fantastic with our glass dildos. It’s also latex and condom safe.”
Mick: “Get MAXXX is about as health-conscious a lube as you will find anywhere. It stands up great to water (think shower, hot tub, whatever). My skin actually feels better after I use this stuff. I love it.”
Chuck: “Back to the packaging; the pump top can be locked by twisting it while it’s in the up position. It also comes with a plastic top lock that covers the spout to keep the lube from accidentally leaking out all over the place. That’s a real thoughtful addition, I can tell ya. I’ve had the misfortune of having a lube bottle open all over my toy box once. I was fuckin mad as hell.”
Mick: “Get some Get MAXXX today; you’ll be glad you did.”

ENJOY!