Ken – DR DICK SEX ADVICE

December 11, 2009July 15, 2026

Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday; it’s Week 5 of our Holiday Gift Giving Guide; and we’re doin a special Toys for Boys thing today. Next Friday, our last installment of in this series, will feature some swell Toys for Gals.

This week we will hear from Review Crew members: Carlos, Ken and your truly, Dr Dick.

All guys jerk off; even (or especially) guys who say they don’t jerk off, jerk off. Now that we’ve put that behind us we can get on with today toy selection, because it has a theme — masturbation sleeves.

First up is another product from the good folks at Vibratex and Carlos has the lowdown.

Sidekick Tease Me Sleeve —— $14.43

Carlos
I love to masturbate; I’ve been doing it since I was 11. I love to masturbate with my wife; I like to masturbate with other men. It’s about as safe a sex as you can have short of having no sex at all.

I’m pretty much a manual masturbator. I never saw the need to improve on my hands for pleasuring myself. But the thing about being a Review Crew member, we get exposed to all kinds of products we wouldn’t otherwise know about. Take for instance the Sidekick Tease Me Sleeve. I would have never guessed that I could enjoy masturbating even more than I used to by using a masturbation aid, like a sleeve.

The Sidekick Tease Me Sleeve is a simple enough product. It’s made of 100% Elastomer, which allows me to use any type of lube you want to. I’m partial to silicone lube, because it doesn’t break down like water-based lubes do during a long masturbation sessions. And since I don’t have to worry about using a condom when I’m having sex with myself, silicone-based lube works best for me.

When you see the Sidekick in its package you’re actually seeing the inside of the thing. It’s turned inside out in the package so you can see the dozens of nubs that will be massaging your penis when you use it. Obviously the Sidekick is easy to turn inside out, which is all-important when you want it’s time to clean up, but more about that in a minute.

The hole you insert you penis in is a decent size, so you don’t have to struggle inserting it. And since you’ll be adjusting the pressure around your penis with your hand, it’s pretty perfect. So I lubed up and slipped the Sidekick over the head of my penis. I’m uncut, so slipping it on also retracted my foreskin. Honestly, I was really surprised by the feel of the nubs on my penis, particularly the head. It was so strange to have that kind of sensation on my cock. But once I got used to the sensation, I was thinking; man, this is great.

The other end of the Sidekick is closed. That means as you stroke this up and down your penis you actually create a bit of a vacuum, which is also very nice. Besides the up and down movement you can also rotate the Sidekick around your penis. This creates a completely unique sensation, which almost tickles. I loved it!

There are two minor drawbacks, if you can call them that. Once the Sidekick is turned right-side out (the nubs are now on the inside where they belong) the outside has no texture at all. This creates a bit of a problem with lubed up hands. I found that it was sometimes difficult to get a good grip on the thing. The other issue is the size. It’s only 5.5” long. Now that will fit most of us, but if your bigger than that, this might be a bit of a problem.

You can cum right in the Sidekick, because it so easy to clean. Turn it inside out again, wash in warm soapy water and let it dry. I found that once it dried; it felt a little sticky. So I just dusted it with little bit of cornstarch. Oh and you have to store it in a plastic bag, or something like that. You don’t want it to get dirty or linty when it’s just lying around.

I really like my Sidekick. It would make a great stocking stuffer for any guy, especially one who admits to pleasuring himself.

Next we have a much more elaborate sleeve from The Adult Toy Shoppe folks.

Cyberskin Pocket Pussy —— $39.99

Ken
Here’s the way I look at it; if god wanted us to jack off he would have given us arms long enough to reach our meat. Oh wait, he did! What luck for us!

I generally jerk off a couple of times a day. This amazes my partner, Denise. She thinks I’m some kind of sex freak, but I don’t know. I beat off much less now than I did when I was a kid. Back then, in my teens, I could and would squeeze one off five or six times a day.

Until this assignment as part of the Review Crew, I had never used a masturbation sleeve. Sure, I’ve seen them around, but I thought to myself; why bother? Ok, I’ll admit to being more than a little curious, so I jumped at the opportunity to review the Cyberskin Pocket Pussy by Topco.

This is my first Cyberskin toy of any kind. This stuff rocks! It’s amazingly soft and warm; there’s a silkiness to it too. They claim that it feels like real human flesh, I wouldn’t go that far, but it is truly remarkable.

The Cyberskin Pocket Pussy is designed to look like a real pussy and it’s very realistic looking, let me tell you. This may be a turn-off to some, especially gay dudes. But other guys are gonna groove on this big time.

When I took it out of the package it had a greasy feel to it that kinda surprised me. I guess whatever they put on it, some kind of preservative or something, keeps it from drying out while on the store shelf. Anyhow, the Pocket Pussy once outside of its packaging is a floppy thing. And that was a bit of a problem trying to get started with it. The whole thing is a little over 8” long; the sleeve is 6” long; the pussy measures 2.5” thick by 3.5“ wide.

I generally use silicone lube when I jerk off, but I couldn’t use that with Cyberskin. Luckily, I had some water-based lube available.

The Pocket Pussy has a very tight “vag” opening, it’s pretty stretchy, but gettin my dick in there was a problem and the floppy sleeve didn’t help. However, once I got the hang of it, it was less of a bother. I confess; this feels fantastic on my cock. I can apply more pressure using my hand on the sleeve, but I didn’t really need to do that. It is a mighty tight hole, and I’m not all that big.

So there I was stroking away watching some porn on the computer and thinking this is totally awesome. Although, I kept thinking the thing needs something to steady the sleeve or tunnel area while fuckin it.

Once I popped a nut in the sleeve I pulled my dick out all satisfied. But while I was admiring my new friend; I noticed that my spooge and lube was dripping out the other end on to my chair. I had forgotten that the Pocket Pussy has an opening on the end that is supposed to make cleaning it easy.

So I quick grab the open end of the sleeve and squeeze it shut so that the rest of my joy juice doesn’t come out. I take it to the bathroom and start the clean up. This turned out to be a much bigger chore than I planned. Ya gotta work soap and water into the sleeve and then rinse it all out. Unfortunately, you can’t really turn the sleeve inside out, which would make cleaning easier.

Now that it’s clean, or as clean as I can get it; it needs to dry. I tried drying it off with a towel as the package recommends, but I got little bits of lint all over the thing. DAMN! After that, I decided to just let it air dry.

Once it was completely dry the Cyberskin felt really tacky. I looked at the instructions on the package again and it says: “Generously apply Renew to properly maintain your Cyberskin product.” But what the fuck is “Renew”? I looked on the Topco website and couldn’t find anything. Luckily, Dr Dick told me a little secret. Lightly dust with body powder or cornstarch to eliminate any stickiness. Then you have to store it in a plastic bag to keep it fresh.

I loved the feel of the Cyberskin on my dick; I think you will too. Fuckin it was a blast. But I will save this toy for special jerk off occasions, because the cleanup is so labor and time intensive.

Just to round off today’s theme I offer my review of another masturbation sleeve.

FleshJack Ice —— $69.95

So sex fans, I suppose ya’ll all know that the Fleshlight has been around for several years now, right? Good, I figured you would’ve noticed. I mean a person can hardly visit a sex related site these days without seeing one of their fetching ads. I realize that I’m a Johnny-cum-lately with my review, but like my momma always used to say — “all good things come to those who wait”.

Like you, I’ve seen the Fleshlight around for years. And because of that I convinced myself I knew everything there was to know about the device. After all, I visited their websites loads of times. I watched their beautifully produced and very sexy mini-movies (more times than I care to say). And I even interviewed a bunch of satisfied customers. I confess, even though I never actually held a Fleshlight in my hand, I imagined I knew everything there was to know about a Fleshlight. I mean hey, it’s not like I never used a masturbator before. How different could this one be?

Well, so much for baseless assumptions.

Imagine my surprise when my very own personal FleshJack Ice showed up on my doorstep. I discovered that just about everything I thought I knew about this marvel didn’t even come close to the real thing. Until I had one of my own to fondle and probe…if ya catch my drift, I was clueless. It’s true what they say; this is the granddaddy of male stimulators. But you really shouldn’t take my word for it.

My initial piece of advice to everyone in my audience is; don’t be a smug jerk like me. That’s right! If you’ve never had your grubby paws on, or your hot little boner in, an actual Fleshlight, you pretty much don’t know nuthin’ about a Fleshlight. Period!

The first thing that struck me about the Fleshlight is it’s way bigger and heavier than I imagined. I figured it would be the size of a regular flashlight. I was wrong. The plastic shell is a serious 10” in length. And by it’s self it’s fairly light. It’s the totally amazing Superskin™ insert that racks up the weigh. My Fleshlight weighs in at a hefty 1 pound, eight and a half ounces. And that, sex fans, is a handful, or two, for damn sure. More about this in a minute.

The Superskin™ insert is totally amazing. It begs to be touched and caressed. It is unlike any other texture I’ve experienced in a sex toy. And like I said, I’ve had an opportunity to test drive a bunch of masturbators and stimulation sleeves in my time. The Superskin™ is kinda like a jelly, but it’s so much more substantial. I know this is gonna sound trite, but it does feel flesh-like. And if you add some hot water to your Fleshlight, as I did, before you sink in your chub, well it’s pretty much the most amazing feeling you can have from something that simulates a human orifice.

And ya wanna talk marketing genius? All Fleshlight customers are invited to customize their unit before they buy. And that is where the fun begins. Since most guys are pretty particular about where they stick their joystick, Fleshlight has cleverly come up with several “orifice” options: pussy, mouth, asshole or “neutral” (apparently for those who can’t commit). The plastic case comes in silver, black or clear. There are optional insert colors too: pink, mocha or ice. And get this, you can even choose from among six different internal contours for the insert itself: Original, Super Tight, Ultra Tight, Speed Bump, Super Ribbed and Wonder Wave. If, with all these options, you can’t design the perfect Fleshlight for you, you’re just too damned fussy.

I want to draw your attention to one last feature before we take this puppy on a test drive. The plastic case, the thing that looks like a flashlight, has removable caps at both ends. The top cap covers the bulbous head of the insert and helps keeps it clean when it’s not in use. The end cap can be removed for easy cleaning. (The jizz-fanatics among us will appreciate this, because when a wank session is over, you can simply dribble out your spunk for some delicious DNA play.)

Like I suggested above you can also add hot water through the end cap for a warm, squishy jack. If you do add water, don’t over-fill the blasted thing. No more than three-quarter full is my suggestion. And this is best done in the shower or bath. Because, depending on the vigor of your stroke, things will get might wet, which just so happens to add to the fun. Just so you know, this was my favorite way to Fleshlight!

When the end cap is sealed tightly, it’s a lot more difficult to plug in your pud…even with loads of lube and a major stiffy. I found that if I loosened the cap, just until I got situated, as it were; I could then tighten the cap to make for a swell little vacuum sensation. Very nice! I wonder if that was intended in the design, or simply is a happy accident?

By the way, you should only use a water-based lube with your Fleshlight. And clean up is a snap. A little soap and water will do the trick. Here’s a tip: once the insert is dry, dust it, inside and out, with a little cornstarch based body powder. This will help keep things as fresh as the day you got it.

I always like to take my time with a new toy. Ya know, to get a sense of how the thing works and feels. This was particularly the way to go with the Fleshlight. Masturbating with one of these puppies has several advantages to your basic hand job. First, there is a delightful silkiness, and a tight consistent pressure on your cock throughout each stroke. In this regard — and despite the claims made by the Fleshlight marketing department — pluggin’ a Fleshlight is very different than pluggin’ any human orifice I know. But that’s not a bad thing, mind you. Consider the guy who is dealing with premature ejaculation, for example. I’m positive that if he used a Fleshlight to train himself to last longer, he’d have way more success than if he just used his hand. This is an ideal device to practice delaying one’s orgasm, which will make you a much better lover. And you can bank on that!

Remember I mentioned the heft of the Fleshlight? I want to get back to that now. Because the unit is heavier then other masturbators, one can actually fuck it, as well as have it fuck you. Here’s what I mean. If you’re lying on your back, and you’re using your hand (or hands) to pump the Fleshlight up and down your rod; it’s basically fuckin’ you, right? I discovered that if I tilted the Fleshlight a bit, up, down or to one side or another, I was able to stimulate different areas of my cock. Using a corkscrew motion was way wonderful too.

Now, if you stick the Fleshlight between your mattress and box spring, for example, then you can fuck it. I really got off on doing deep thrusts this way. And because of the ingenious bulbous head of the Superskin™ insert there’s no way I could injure myself on the hard plastic case with those deep hard manly thrusts. 😉

One final thing, ya’ll know I’m a real big advocate of partners masturbating together. There is just so much one can learn by watching a partner pleasure him/herself. The Fleshlight is the perfect male masturbator for this purpose. It’s playful and non-threatening, so it will be easier to get your partner to join in the fun and learn about your sexual response all at the same time.

ENJOY

October 23, 2009July 9, 2026

3 Hits and A Miss

We’re back with a slew of new reviews. The intrepid Dr Dick’s Review Crew tackles a mixed bag of treats.

Today we will hear from Review Crew Members: Jada, Ken & Denise, Kevin and Jack & Karen. So without further ado…

We begin with a couple of new offerings from that gargantuan adult toy company, Doc Johnson. Here’s Jada to tell us about the first one.

Doc Johnson i-Vibe Rabbit Vibrator —— $36.30

Jada
The very first vibe I ever owned was a rabbit vibrator. I got off on it in record time, every time. But it was such a wild looking contraption I never really warmed up to it.

Aesthetically speaking, there’s something about the “rabbit” doohickey that juts out from the vibe’s shaft that I find disturbing. Don’t get me wrong; I understand the reason it is there. For most women, clitoral stimulation is what gets us off. I’m guessing that the insertable shaft, which is, strangely enough, usually penis shaped, is a way we tip our hat to the male member, even though most of our vibrator use is by ourselves. Frankly, I’ve never really understood that. I just don’t know too many women who need a penis reminder when we’re masturbating.

This suggests to me that these designs originate in the male mind. I wish there was a way I could substantiate this.

Ok, so from the aesthetics point of view the i-Vibe Rabbit Vibrator doesn’t do a thing for me. But I won’t detract points on that account either. I review the toy on its merits.

Speaking of aesthetics; what I do like about this toy is its packaging. It’s a plastic clamshell that slips inside a frosted oval plastic sheath. It’s a very nice presentation that I find very attractive.

The i-Vibe Rabbit uses 4-AA batteries and they are not included in the package. DISAPPOINTED! The battery compartment is easy to use and it seals shut making the toy waterproof. That’s a big plus in my book.

The keypad controls are pretty intuitive, although I think they should be in the reverse position. Like I said, most women use a vibrator on themselves. Looking down on the keypad, while using it on myself I see the controls upside down.

There are two main utilities — clitoral tickler (the rabbit) and shaft vibration (which doesn’t really vibrate, rather it rotates the beads in the shaft as well as the penis shaped head). There are different speeds and three functions. Frankly, I think all this is overkill.

It’s a bit noisier than I like, but with everything that’s going on with the i-Vibe Rabbit that’s not all that surprising. Despite all the functions and speeds, this thing never really delivers the kind of vibration I want and need. I was able to get off on it, but it wasn’t as effortless as I had hoped.

All the functions and speed variations run down the batteries very quickly, which seemed wasteful. I would have preferred the toy do one thing really well and have the batteries last longer. But, in the end, none of this mattered at all, because after installing the second set of batteries (brand new fresh ones, I might add) the unit simply stopped working. That’s right, within a week of getting the blasted thing; it was in the trash. DIASPPOINTED! I would have been furious had I paid good money for this.

Come on, Doc Johnson, you should be able to do much better than this!

Next, Kevin introduces us to the other Doc Johnson product.

Doc Johnson Harmony Divine Yin —— $49.99

Kevin
I’m happy to report that I had better luck with my toy then Jada did.

This here is the Harmony Divine Yin (black), which is exactly like the Yang (white), except for the color. It is a multi-speed (3), waterproof vibe with a very stylish shape. Despite having an interesting shape, there is nothing about it that suggests craftsmanship. You can tell immediately that it is mass-produced. There is also a disposable quality about it, which is too bad. Because with a little more though behind this, the Harmony Divine Yin could have been something quite remarkable.

It is made of hard plastic. I didn’t think I was going to take to the hardness, but I wound up liking it very much. So I have no quarrel with the material used.

The batteries (2-AAA) are easy to install. No batteries are included in the package, which sucks. And the battery compartment is easily closed to create what they claim is a watertight fit. I use it in the shower, but I won’t use it in the bath. I’d just as soon not ruin this by tempting the fates, if ya know what I mean.

Harmony Divine Yin is not very powerful, but I won’t kick it out of bed. The nipple-like button turns it on and cycles through the three speeds. The hard plastic conducts the vibration better than say a jelly toy would; so there’s that. It’s pretty quiet too.

The serious end of Harmony Divine Yin is sort of plug-shaped and is nearly 2 inches in diameter at its widest part. In terms of this being used as a butt plug or a prostate stimulator, it isn’t for the novice butt pirate. However, it’s a nice external stimulator for your taint (perineum) and balls. Because it’s hard plastic, you can sit on it with the pointy end on your rosebud while you whack off. It gives you a nice little buzz. If you’re gonna use it internally; lube is a necessity. Again, because it’s hard plastic, you can use whatever kind of lube you want. This will make the tapered end easier to insert. Not that it’s particularly difficult for those of us who know what we’re doing.

I liked doing my kegel exercises on the Harmony Divine Yin unyielding hardness. If you’re up for it, the ridges in the middle of the toy will provide some extra stimulation during a thrusting motion. Once it’s inserted, it can be pretty much a hands-free toy.

Clean up is super easy with mild soap and warm water. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.

One final thing, I think this is a bit pricey for a simple straightforward hard plastic vibe, especially since it’s not all that powerful. If it were $10 less, I’d say go for it; what do you have to lose? But for just about $10 more you’d be able get yourself a very nice, powerful silicone vibe that will probably last much longer than the Harmony Divine Yin will.

Jack & Karen tell us about a new Tristan Taormino video.

The Expert Guide to Anal Sex —— $29.95

Jack & Karen
Jack: “So ya’ll know I’m real new at the whole butt sex thing, right? I’m still discovering the pleasures that lie within.”
Karen: “I’ve been dying to strap on one and give this boy a pegging he will not forget.”
Jack: “It’s talk like that that give me pause.”
Karen: “Sorry, honey, I was just making a little joke.”
Jack: “What my foray into anal sex has done for me is give me a greater sensitivity toward women and the invasive sex they have all the time. I mean, if someone were to fuck me in the ass like I have fucked some women in the pussy, without even so much as a warm-up, I’d fuckin kill them.”
Karen: “That is an awakening that I wish all men would come to sooner rather than later.”
Jack: “Anyhow, not to veer too far off topic; I was glad we got this DVD to review. It really opened my eyes to the pleasures to be had in butt fucking.”
Karen: “This is a terrific resource for the novice as well as the proficient alan sex practitioners. International sex expert, Tristan Taormino, talks to a group of (straight) couples about anal anatomy, as well as delvers tips, and techniques of anal pleasure. Her co-hosts, Lorelei and Ariel, demonstrate various techniques as Tristan narrates what they are doing. There’s even a Q&A period.”
Jack: “It is both super arousing and very informative. This is a co-production with one of porn’s biggest companies, Vivid. So you know it’s gonna be hot. Unfortunately, and this is a huge disappointment for me; it’s only about women receiving anal. What, they couldn’t have included some men on the receiving end? Bummer.”
Karen: “That is so true! But that doesn’t diminish the information imparted. For example, Tristan talks about lubes and desensitizing agents; and that’s applicable to both women and men.”
Jack: “You get comments from Tristan as well as pop-up tips about the action throughout the feature. I also liked the way the performers talked about anal sex and why they like it. This goes a long way in helping demystify what is often a taboo subject for most couples.”
Karen: “I like how toys, particularly plugs were used as a warm-up to cock penetration. I know from my own experiences with anal sex that foreplay is essential.”
Jack: “I was also kind of surprised that there was little mention of the increased risks of sexually transmitted diseases with anal sex. NO CONDOMS WERE USED IN THIS MOVIE! What’s up with that? Maybe they didn’t want to scare people who may be considering including anal in their monogamous couple sex. There is a safer sex mini-feature included on the DVD, but I thought there could have been more in the feature itself.”
Karen: “There’s also a featurette on anal hygiene, which I found informative.”
Jack: “I really got off on the hot, hot, hot girl-on-girl bonus scene. Finally a little strap-on action!”
Karen: “We recommend this DVD as a good place to start for women considering anal sex. Guys who are interested in exploring their bottom need to look elsewhere.”

Finally, let’s have a little fun with Ken & Denise and their parlor game. (This is a Good Vibrations Brand Ambassador review.)

Truth or Dare: A Game of Passion —— $16.95

Ken & Denise
Denise: “I love games, all kinds of games. I guess I’m just a party girl at heart.”
Ken: “I, on the other hand, think most games, especially parlor games are boring.”
Denise: “Yeah, but this one is different, because it’s like a sex game.”
Ken: “So we had two of our favorite couples over for dinner last week. We were all sufficiently socially lubricated, if ya catch my drift. We plunked ourselves down in front of the fire for a little postprandial toke, when little Mary sunshine over here hauls out the Truth or Dare game!”
Denise: “What a better time for a little fun?”
Ken: “I’m thinkin’ ‘oh god, do we have to?’ But our friends who are green with envy over our gig on Dr Dick’s Review Crew were like, ‘cool, let’s do this!’”
Denise: “Luckily, considering the condition we were all in, the game is super simple. There’s one die that you roll and two stacks of cards — one marked Truth, the other marked Dare.”
Ken: “The die has Truth or Dare on six of the eight sides. The other two sides have the word ‘Wild’ on it. If you roll that, you get to choose either a Truth or Dare card. Then you can either do the thing yourself or order your partner to perform the task, or you can pass.”
Denise: “We all got increasingly silly as the game wore on. If you choose a Truth card, it may read, ‘If you could watch an intimate moment from your partner’s life before you met, what would that be?’ ‘Would you ever buy a private lap dance for your partner?’ ‘What authority figure possesses the most erotic possibilities for you?’ ‘What sensual characteristic or ability do you envy in the opposite sex?’”
Ken: “The Dare” cards are equally innocuous; however, they often involve props — computers, whipped cream, makeup, etc. ‘You are the subject of an impromptu erotic photo shoot. You partner will be the photographer…’ ‘Perform a seductive and enticing striptease to the music of your choice.’ ‘Create a bondage costume using nothing but plastic wrap!’ You get the idea.”
Denise: “Some of the Dare cards involve calling other people on the phone to ask dumb questions. This is never a good idea, especially when the person you’re calling isn’t as loaded as you are. But we just disregarded those commands, and we had a ball.”
Ken: “I think our friends were a bit intimidated by some of the tasks. They’re not as big a freaks as us. But it’s true; fun was had by all.”
Denise: “Good point! Before you consider playing this game with anyone other than your significant other, review the cards to see if it’s actually a good idea for the company you have in mind.

ENJOY

December 12, 2008July 1, 2026

Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen…and Gentlewomen

REVIEW #28

Hey sex fans,

It’s Week 4, and the final week, of our Holiday Extravaganza. Did you somehow miss Week 1, 2 or 3 of this lollapalooza? Shame on you! Check out Reviews #25, 26 and 27. You’ll be so glad ya did.

The Dr Dick Review Crew has been workin’ overtime gettin you these reviews and now all our naughty parts are sore as all get out. Thank god this is the last week; we need a break, don’t cha know!

This week’s Review Crew include:

Jack & Karen — Reviews #17, 18, 25, 27
Joy & Dixie— Reviews #6, 12, 16, 17, 18, 23, 27
Glenn & Hank — Reviews #4, 16, 17, 18, 23. 24, 27
Gina & Kevin — Reviews #4, 13, 16, 17, 18, 23, 24, 27
Ken & Denise — Reviews #11, 16, 25
Jada — Reviews #14, 16, 20

First up Ken & Denise introduce us to a beautiful wooden insertable from Hans at Hardwood Dildos. I’m a big fan of Hans’. He is more than a craftsman; he’s an artist. He really knows his wood and his woodies! We have just this one dildo to review, but his site is virtually overflowing with ingenious designs. When you visit, be sure to tell him Dr Dick sent you.

Apple Wood Dildo $99

Ken: “I was hoping I would be one of the lucky chosen ones to review one of the great wooden dildos we’ve featured during our Holiday Extravaganza. I lucked out! Denise and I have a real beauty.”
Denise: “That is so true. Unfortunately, our Apple Wood Dildo doesn’t come already named, like the ones reviewed earlier in this series.”
Ken: “Well, it’s only unfortunate if you’re not clever enough to come up with name all on your own. I’ve christened ours Peter…for obvious reasons.”
Denise: “I stand corrected. Maybe I need to be punished. 😉
Ken: “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Just you wait till we get home, young lady!”
Denise: “Ohhh, Daddy!”
Ken: “We seem to be veering off topic. Back to our beautiful Hardwood Dildo. It is made of Apple wood, a fine-grained, dense wood, which has a very fair color, kinda like maple or cherry. Apparently, the wood comes from trees pruned in Oregon.”
Denise: “Hardwood Dildos is another brilliant GREEN northwest company; so hurray for that! It also has a very traditional shape to it. Unlike some of the other wooden insertables on the market, there is no denying this Apple Wood Dildo is a phallus. It’s 6.25″ x 1.6″/2.6″ with a luscious dickhead and a nice base for easy handling.”
Ken: “That phallus shape suits us just fine, huh honey?”
Denise: “You betcha! I’m real old fashioned gal that way. I love the way it feel in my pussy and my ass.”
Ken: “You can use all kinds of lube with this Hardwood Dildo. It warms nicely to your body very quickly too.”
Denise: “Wash with warm soapy water and dry thoroughly with a soft cloth and you’re done. You can wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.”
Ken: “I feel like I own a unique piece of art, because no two Hardwood Dildos are alike.”
Denise: “And anyone concerned about the finish on these dildos; oughtn’t worry. They get at least five coats of a food grade varnish called a Salad Bowl Finish.”
Ken: “If you are looking for wood (literally or figuratively) Hardwood Dildos is the place to shop.”
Denise: “I hope I find another one of these beauties under my tree this Christmas.”
Ken: “Maybe you could take your tree to Hans after the holidays and have him whip up a little something for you.”
Denise: “What a great idea! I wonder if he does requests. Happy Holidays everyone.”

Gina & Kevin introduce us to a couple of lovable toys for the big kid in all of us. These come from the good people at Big Teaze Toys. Dr Dick gives a bunch of extra points for the delightful names. You go Big Teaze!

I Rub My Duckie Bondage $25.99

Gina: “If a company can make me smile and make me cum at the same time, they win my heart. Now my heart belongs to Big Teaze. I Rub My Duckie Bondage is just one of the great Collector’s Series duckies available from Big Teaze Toys. You have to see the other! Makes me giggle just visiting the site.”
Kevin: “I got such a kick out of this. And speaking of kicks; this little bugger is mighty powerful.”
Gina: “Bondage Duckie has a permanent place in our bathroom. It is always in reach. There is nothing better than a waterproof vibe. I love to get off in the tub.”
Kevin: “It’s a real conversation piece too. It even comes with its own set of Duckie-sized handcuffs. What a hoot! Guests always comment on our fashionable BDSM Duckie. Little do they know.”
Gina: “When Kevin and I enjoy a soak together we never forget to invite Duckie. And you can use it several different ways. But I think you should find that out on your own.”
Kevin: “Batteries ARE included. So your first rides are free!”

I Rub My Wormie Pink Travel Size $22.99

Kevin: “The I Rub My Wormie we have is the travel sized one. That makes is a bit smaller than the regular size. It make an excellent butt plug.”
Gina: “Or Pussy plug! I Rub My Wormie has a, ergonomic bend in his neck to reach your G- or P-spot. It has an easy-grip body so he won’t wiggle out of your hands.”
Kevin: “Oh baby, Oh baby, you make me so hot!! Don’t forget the 3-speeds of vibration.”
Gina: “It actually is the perfect toy to travel with. Airport security will think you are carrying a baby’s toy. If they only knew.
Kevin: “All you health conscious consumers out there should know these toys are non-toxic, Phthalate-free, PVC-free and latex-free.”
Gina: “Sadly, I Rub My Wormie does not come with batteries. What’s up with that Big Teaze Toys? No one should be creating battery operated toys without including the fist set of batteries. It’s just wrong.
Kevin: “Gina and I agree these toys make ideal holiday gifts. Just make sure if you plan to give one of these as a gift that you buy the toy with the batteries, or include the batteries as part of your gift.”
Gina: “No one wants a toy that can’t be used right out of the package.”
Kevin: “Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from both of us.”
Gina: “And a Happy orgasm-filled New Year too!”

Now Jada gives us the finger, as it were. This is a clever first offering from a new Canadian company — Fun To Have.

Fun Finger $20.00

Jada: At first I thought this was some kind of gag. I mean Fun Finger looks like something you’d find on one of those prank websites. It’s basically a big golden thumb. Fun Finger is soft and flexible. It has a multi-speed vibrator that is adjusted on the base of the finger. It’s made in China of TPR (Thermoplastic Rubber), which is non-toxic, but anyone allergic to latex will not be able use this. I’m not a big fan of Chinese made products, especially nowadays, but this one seems harmless enough.

I did like the unique shape — the cocked thumb. It’s perfect for G-spot stimulation. I wouldn’t, however, recommend it for prostate stimulation. There’s nothing to hold on to at the base and it could easily slip in your bum and disappear. And that would very unpleasant indeed.

Fun Finger would make a fun stocking stuffer for the light-hearted person on your list.

Happy holidays everyone!

Our favorite perv Review Crew members — Joy & Dixie and Glenn & Hank tackle some very interesting devices from Rachel’s Pleasures.

G–Spotter $16.20

Joy & Dixie

Dixie: “This is our second go around with these sorts of products. Joy and I, Glenn and Hank and others did a whole series on some of the products from Sportsheets. You can find those reviews by searching for the word ‘Sportsheets’.”
Joy: “Dixie and I prefer Rachel’s product line to the other. For one thing, we found them more comfortable.”
Dixie: “I hope this doesn’t sound petty, but we also like Rachel’s packaging better. It’s more fun and it isn’t so blatantly heterosexual.”
Joy: “Basically, the G–Spotter is a device that one attaches to the bottom’s ankles so the top can maneuver the bottom’s legs with more ease. The bottom can hold the strap herself or the top can hold it and move it from side to side.”
Dixie: “I liked the Cumfy Cuffs. They are padded for comfort, quick release gismo that is real handy. The G–Spotter is also easily adjustable.”

Cumfy Cuffs And Cumfy Cuffs Extensions Kit $22.50

Glenn & Hank

Glenn: “Hank and I agree with Dixie. We also like Rachel’s packaging better than the Sportsheets packaging. I guess it’s a gay thing!”
Hank: “In fact, we liked everything about the Rachel’s line better. We agree with the gals, it’s a more comfortable setup”
Glenn: “Not that the bottom is supposed to be comfortable all the time. If ya catch my drift.”
Hank: “Yeah, but Rachel’s line of products, although practical and fully functional, is geared toward the bondage novice, wouldn’t you agree?”
Glenn: “Absolutely! But we all have to start somewhere.” 😉
Hank: “Do you know a budding kinkster? Maybe you’re one yourself.
Glenn: “Maybe you’d just like to know the thrill of relinquishing control for an itsy bitsy moment or two.”

Neoprene Harness $24.30

Joy & Dixie introduce us to the Neoprene Harness.

Joy: “Now this is something I can really sink my teeth into.”
Dixie: “What she means to say is ‘…sink a nice big dildo into’.”
Joy: “I loves me my strap-ons! I have quite a collection. Some are more comfortable than others, but I love ‘em all.”
Dixie: “I’m not as much of a connoisseur, as Joy, but this Neoprene Harness is very comfortable, I must say.”
Joy: “It is that! It is also reversible and machine washable. I love that part. I hate having to clean lube and whatnot off my leather harness.”
Dixie: “It’s also fully adjustable. It would have to be to fit both Joy and I. We have such different body types.”
Joy: “This is a really terrific start-out harness for the beginner. It’s inexpensive, yet practical. You just plug in the insertable of your choice (like the one that Ken & Denise showed us earlier) and then go fuck yourself some…whatever.”
Dixie: “Exactly! I’ve already told my ‘straight’ office mate about this. She’s gonna surprise her BF for X-mas.”
Joy: “You go, Danna!! Give it to him good.”
Dixie: “Thank you Dr Dick for a great year of products. We certainly look forward to the New Year and what it may bring.”
Joy: “Have a very sexy and sensual holiday season everyone. See ya in the New Year.”

Rachel’s Bed Spread (w/cuffs) $64.53

Glenn & Hank

Hank: “Now this is more like it! Rachel’s Bed Spread allows you can create a little bondage magic without the screw anchors and bolts in the ceiling and walls needed for more traditional bondage apparatus.”

Glenn: “I love being restrained spread eagle on the bed. I love relinquishing control to my partner(s) and being ravaged by him/them.”

Hank: “And now we can play like this our own bedroom, or take it on vacation with us.”

Glenn: “These two straps go around the mattress and allow us to attach wrist or ankle cuffs to the straps. The straps are adjustable fitting a twin up to a King Size bed

Hank: “Rachel’s Bed Spread is not the least be threatening. In fact, if you just wanna mess around with some power-play this is just the thing for you.”

Glenn: “But it also works for those of us who are a tad more hardcore.”

Hank: “And it’s a breeze to set up. It only took a few minutes.”

Glenn: “And it’s reasonably priced.”

Hank: “So if you are a rank amateur or a seasoned pro, you’ll have a great time testing your limits. We did!”

Glenn: “We think Rachel’s Pleasures rocks.”

Hank: “We both wish you a Merry Christmas and a very edgy New Year.”

So there ya have it, Sex Fans. We hope our Holiday Extravaganza provided you with lot of swell gift giving ideas. Look for more Product Reviews in the New Year.

November 21, 2008July 1, 2026

COMFORT AND JOY

REVIEW #25

Hey sex fans,

I know it’s hard to believe, but the freakin’ holidays are upon us once again. Bah Humbug!

So OK not everyone is not a Scrooge, like me. That’s why the Dr Dick Review Crew is throwing our product review apparatus into high gear. We want to get as many reviews out there in the next month as possible. We want you to have a load of swell holiday gift giving ideas, don’t cha k now.

This week’s Review Crew include:

Jack & Karen — Reviews #17, 18
Ken & Denise — Review #11, 16
Carlos — Reviews #4
Mick & Chuck— Reviews #12

Let’s start things off with a little COMFORT!

Jack & Karen introduce us to Pleasure Pack Combo.
The Right Position Sex Pillow Combo —— $89.00

Karen: “I’m just wild about The Right Position Sex Pillow. Until the day Jack and I picked up the Pleasure Pack Combo at Dr Dick’s, I hadn’t given much thought to how exceptionally useful a specialized cushion like this could be.”
Jack: “I totally agree. Ya see the sex pillow is wedge shaped (about 6” at its widest), which allows us to position our bodies for a more accommodating and comfortable fuck.”
Karen: “But it’s not just for fucking, although I must say it is ideal for anal sex, but I’ll get to that in a minute. What I like most is that it raises my pelvis just enough so that Jack can pleasure me orally. And The Right Position Sex Pillow is so comfortable too”
Jack: “In the past, we had to fumble around with traditional pillows to place under Karen’s ass to raise it to just the right height for me to effortlessly eat her out. But now with The Right Position Sex Pillow I can crawl between her legs and find her pussy at precisely the right height for me to dig in.”
Karen: “My man has the most talented tongue around. I’m totally down with anything that makes him more comfortable while he works, if ya know what I mean..”
Jack: “Karen mention ass fucking. When I bottom for her I love her to peg me while we’re face to face.”
Karen: “Before we got The Right Position Sex Pillow I found face-to-face pegging a real chore. Jack is a lot bigger and heaver than I, and even though he tries to keep his legs up during the peg, it’s exhausting and when he tires they crash down around my shoulders. It’s difficult for me to help him keep his legs up so it’s kind of frustrating.”
Jack: “Yeah, but now all I have to do is position the Sex Pillow under my back so that the widest part of the wedge is just slightly above my waist. This allows me to throw my legs up and back and keep them there with ease. It’s really great.”
Karen: “It really has made all the difference in the world. How we did without one of these for so long is beyond me.”
Jack: “I like the fact that Sex Pillow cleans up easily with just a little soap and water. It’s made of soft latex free foam that resists lube stains. Thank you very much! And it has a built in handle, so it’s easy to adjust.”
Karen: “The Right Position Sex Pillow even comes with its own lovely satin drawstring bag.”
Jack: “Tell ‘em about the other thing.”
Karen: “He’s referring to The Pleasure Wrap. It’s very sweet sexy little throw with a soft furry fleece side and silky satin side. It’s ideal for cuddling after a romp. I often get chilled afterward, even on the warmest days. So this is perfect for me. Oh, and machine washable too. They’ve thought of everything!”
Jack: “In case you haven’t noticed, we love these products. You can buy the pillow and wrap separately. But the combo is so reasonably priced; why not splurge? It will make the perfect holiday gift for all you lovers out there.”

And now for a whole lot of JOY!

Mick & Chuck introduce us to Smooth Glider.

Smooth Glider $89.95

Mick: “Hey, it’s great to be back as part of the Dr Dick Review Crew.
Chuck: “This is the dream “job. What’s not to love about getting free sex toys? And we loves us some toys.”
Mick: “Yeah, but we’re also informing people about what to look for in quality products while avoiding the junk.”
Chuck: “Exactly! Speaking of quality, check out our Smooth Glider. It’s stunning. It’s made of Pyrex glass.”
Mick: “It’s approximately 7 inches long and 1 1/4 inches in diameter with a nicely sculpted head that measures approximately 1 1/2 inches in diameter. It weighs a hefty 12.4 oz. And the sucker is smooth as glass…thus the name. Duh!
Chuck: “Well a lot of glass dildos are textured. This one happens to be smooth. But it does have a nice curve to it. It’s perfect for prostate stimulation.”
Mick: “Or G-Spot stimulation, if you have one of those.” 😉
Chuck: “The first thing you need to know is that not all glass dildos are created equal. There are plenty of cheap knock-offs out there that I wouldn’t stick in my ass for a million bucks. But the Smooth Glider is top of the line.”
Mick: “If you’ve never used a glass dido you will be amazed. It’s like no other material. With just the tiniest amount of lube (we use a silicone-based lube) this thing becomes amazingly slick. And you can warm or chill this baby for added sensations.”
Chuck: “The Smooth Glider, like all quality glass products, is easy to care for too. Warm soapy water and a nice lint-free towel is all you need for clean up. But you can pop it in the dishwasher; sterilize it in a 10% bleach solution; or in boiling water for a couple of minutes. Making it the idea toy for sharing.”
Mick: “One more thing about the Smooth Glider’s design. It has a nice base on it. So it’s easy to grab hold of for turning or pumping in and out.”
Chuck: “Mmmmm, pumping in and out!”
The Smooth Glider comes in a beautiful red padded velvet pouch to protect it when it’s not punishing your, or someone you love’s ass.”
Mick: “I highly recommend the Smooth Glider to anyone who is looking for the classic glass dildo. You will not be disappointed.”
Chuck: “I second that! And anyone out there still unsure about glass toys, if you buy quality, like the Smooth Glider, you have nothing to worry about. But like all high-end toys you need to treat it right. Care for it properly, and it will last a lifetime.”
Mick: “Yeah just think this could be an heirloom, passed down from generation to generation. In about a hundred years look for it to appear on the Antique Road Show. ‘Why, my great, great uncle Mick buggered himself senseless with this beauty!’” 😉

Next up, Ken & Denise introduce us to one of the beauties from NobEssence — TRYST.

TRYST $180.00

Denise: “Thank you for the warm welcome to the Dr Dick Review Crew. It’s been a blast…literally and figuratively.”
Ken: “Denise has been eager to join our little club since our adventures with The Vergenza Mk. I.”
Denise: “This time we have an equally beautiful and oh so functional dildo/massager, TRYST. It’s sculpted wood. Isn’t it gorgeous?
Ken: “Yeah, like The Vergenza Mk. I, TRYST is a work of art.
Denise: “It’s is ‘double header’, if you will. One end is round, smooth and bulbous. It is uniquely shaped to stimulate either G-spot or P-spot. The other end is a beaded sort of thing that supplies the most delicious rippling sensation. And each end is perfectly angled to act as a handle when the other end slides into place. It’s brilliant!”
Ken: “I’ve never used anything like it. I mean, it’s10” long. The bulb end is 1 1/2” at the tip, but it then widens to a 2” body before the traditional plug notch. The beaded end is curved, but smaller— an 1” at its widest point.”
Denise: “And, of course, TRYST can be used vaginally and anally. Or did you already get that from my G-spot or P-spot reference? I’m a little slow sometimes.”
Ken: “We’ve enjoyed this dildo every which way. And we haven’t tied of it yet.
Denise: “I sense that some of our visitors may be apprehensive about wood as an insertable. Well let me put your mind at ease. It’s perfectly safe. These sculptures are sealed with an impermeable finish that is hypoallergenic, sent-free, waterproof and bacteria resistant. And because wood is all natural, there are no worries about chemical additives, like phthalates.”
Ken: “Yeah, this is about as green as you can get.”
Denise: “Clean up is a breeze. Warm water and a mild soap do the trick. When we trade off using this gem; we wipe it down with peroxide and a lint-free towel. But you can use alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.
Ken: “Mick said something about how slick his toy got with just the smallest amount of lube. The same is true with TRYST. Like those guys we prefer a silicone-based lube. And another noteworthy thing is that wood will warm to your body temperature as you use it.”
Denise: “All NobEssence sculptures come in beautifully designed gift boxes. Perfect for holiday gift giving.”
Ken: “This is a very special gift for that very special someone. It is both artistic and sensual. If you want to make a HUGE impression; this will make the point.”

Finally, Carlos introduces us to another beauty from NobEssence — ROMP.

ROMP $110

Carlos: “It’s great to be back with some of my old review pals and some new ones too.

I feel a little odd being the only single person here, but my ROMP is perfect for solitary use. It’s an exquisite wooden butt plug/prostate massager.

Before I continue with a description, I want to say that I agree with everything Ken and Denise said about their sculpture. And since you just heard from them, I won’t repeat it all myself.

ROMP is the best prostate massager I’ve ever used. And I’ve tried several. It fits snug and stays in place because of the notch between the handle and the rounded insertable end. And it’s designed to be worn for extended periods of time. The longer you wear it, the better it feels. Dr Dick and I are both big advocates of prostate self-awareness and prostate massage. And this is the perfect ‘tool’ for that.
It isn’t all that big, so it is suitable for even the beginner. The insertable section is 3 1/2” long and 1 1/2” at its widest point. Nothing threatening there! I suppose you could just as well use ROMP for G-spot stimulation, but I don’t have one of those. So I can’t speak to that.

Lube, of course, is important. And ROMP is compatible with all types of commercially produced lubes — water-based, silicone-based, whatever you have.

I love my ROMP. I’ve already turned a couple of my bi-men friends on to this amazing instrument.

One thing I should point out. The NobEssence site only allows you to buy directly from them if you use PayPal. That is such a bummer. Because there are a whole lot of us that will never use PayPal, ever. I’m sure the sculptor looses a fair amount of business not having other pay options. Luckily, the NobEssence site offers links to other online stores where you can purchase these marvels using a credit card. So hurray for that!

If you have a prostate, or know someone who does, this is the ideal holiday gift for him. Get ‘em while they’re hot!” 😉

ENJOY

July 18, 2008June 27, 2026

It’s Fuckin’ Art!

REVIEW #11

The Vergenza Mk. I $140.00

“I can’t believe you want me to stick this beautiful thing in my ass!” That’s my friend Ken talkin’ to me as he slowly removes the Vergenza Mk. I from its stylish velvet pouch and lazily rolls it around in his hands. “It is stunning, isn’t it? I say with equal admiration. “But hey, why shouldn’t your ass (or someone’s pussy) be treated to something this beautiful all the time?” Ken nods in agreement. “Yeah, that’s right; my ass deserves the best!”

Thus, I’m happy to report, a love affair was born.

Ken is, as we say here at Dr Dick’s Sex Advice, the consummate B.O.B. (Big Old Bottom)! His hole is the center of his universe. Where other men are dick-centric; Ken is decidedly ass-centric. Not only does he know his way around his butt, but he has trained many others to savor the intense pleasure only butt play can produce. And Ken promises that one of his trainees, his sometime play partner Denise, will enjoy this beauty. So I knew at once that Ken would be the idea person to put the Vergenza Mk. I through its paces.

Before we get to far ahead of ourselves, I want to lay before you the vision that is the Vergenza Mk. I. It is composed of aircraft-quality spun aluminum — a safe, non-porous and sterile material. It is eight inches long and one and one-quarter inches wide. It weighs in at nearly a pound. (We will soon discover that this heft is gonna come in handy, but I digress.)

As you can see from the photo this beauty is a double header. Each end is sculpted into a different configuration and each end is insertable. The six consecutive orbs on the one end provide a delightfully bumpy ride to heaven. The opposite end is a shorter, sleekly tapered, smooth insert. You’ll also notice that each end not only functions as a dildo, but also as a plug. There is a difference, you know.

Notice the traditional notch and tapering that allows one’s sphincter to close around it and lock either end into place. That, sex fans, is what transforms a common dildo into a butt-plug. (Again, this little tidbit will cum into play when we hear back from Ken.)

For those unfamiliar with the concept of a metal insertable you are missing out. This high-grade aluminum is unbeatable in terms of smoothness and versatility. It’s nontoxic and it’s the easiest material to keep sanitary, because it’s nonporous. Unlike that other exceptionally versatile material, glass, aluminum will not break or shatter. And the Vergenza Mk. I is domestically manufactured, so you’ll never have to worry about where it came from, who made it, under what conditions, or the quality of the materials used. And considering the state of a lot of imported sex toys these days; that’s a huge relief.

Everyday cleanup is a snap with soap and water. To sterilize simply drop it into a pot of boiling water for a minute or two. Or if you’re completely fagged out by all your play, you can just pop the blasted thing in the dishwasher before you drift off to a well-deserved post-coital nap.

Now let’s get back to Ken and find out what kind of mischief he gotten into since he left my house with the Vergenza Mk. I tucked safely under his arm.

As I suspected Ken reserved the first ride for himself, no fool he! To kick things up a notch, Ken decided to chill the Vergenza Mk. I before he began his solo play. “There’s nothing like cold metal on hot hole to produce an earth-shaking orgasm.” He proudly proclaims. (I forgot to mention that a metal insertable can be warmed and chilled to create unique sensations beyond the feelings produced by the insertion itself.)

Apparently Ken had the time of his life, buggering himself senseless with one end of the Vergenza Mk. I and then the other. Ken really liked the heft of this wand the best. He said that besides the pleasure it induced as a dildo, it turned out to be the most amazing tool for toning his PC muscles, “Doin’ Kegels with this thing in your ass is quite a work out!” Ken knows what every power-bottom knows; taut and toned PC muscles keep his caboose from goin slack and saggy.

“I have a play party set up with Denise for tomorrow. So I’ll be able to introduce the Vergenza Mk. I to her pussy then. She’s going to be one happy camper!” Everyone here at Dr Dick’s Sex Advice waited with bated breath for the following report to come in. And it did…in less then 36 hours. Ya gotta love a man who is so prompt with his reporting.

“Denise got off on this thing big time! She loved the heft and density of the Vergenza Mk. I. She like the end with the bumps the best. The smooth end was nice and it seemed to stimulate her G-spot better than the bumpy end, but she couldn’t get enough of the bumps. She’s kind of a freak that way.” How does that old saying go? “Ribbed for her pleasure!” 😉

Ken went on to say that once Denise got off on vaginal stimulation a couple of times, he flipped her over for some of that promised backdoor action. Ken wants to remind everyone that going from pussy to ass pleasure is ok, but definitely not the reverse. “Never put anything that has been in an ass anywhere else, especially not in a vagina!”

Before the flip, Ken completely cleaned the Vergenza Mk. I with hand soap and lots of hot water. “This really warmed up our magic wand for my ass-ult on Denise’s butt. She completely loved the warm sensations. And this thing really held its heat for a long time. In the butt play department, Denise favored the tapered smooth end to the end with the bumps. She said this was the best butt-plug she ever experienced.” Denise agreed with Ken; the weight of the Vergenza Mk. I made for a challenging Kegel exerciser. This is another good reason why this toy is so great. It’s so damn versatile.”

My hat is off to this young toy manufacturing company. They have set a high standard for themselves (and others) and if the pedigree of the Vergenza Mk. I continues in future works of insertable art, we will all be the richer for it.

So the consensus is the Vergenza Mk. I is well worth its high-end price. Dramatic design, stunning craftsmanship and versatility make it a toy that you’ll be proud to own; and one that will last a lifetime.

ENJOY