Category: Brad

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Holiday Gift Giving Guide, WEEK 1

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday again. And today we launch our 3rd annual Holiday Gift Giving Guide. Over the next five weeks we will feature a boatload of adult products for naughty boys and girls.

We have numerous manufacturers and retailers participating with us this year. So we will bring you an array of goodies from high-end pleasure objects to inexpensive novelty items. I can pretty much guarantee that this year’s guide will have something for everyone.

Let’s start off with two products from our friends at Good Vibrations.

Night of Romance Kit —— $18.00

Jada
My husband and I were babysitting our 5-year-old niece for a few days a couple weeks ago. She’s at that stage when mimicking adult behavior is so much fun. She loves dress up and playing house, but her favorite thing is having a tea party. She took great pains to put on an elaborate party for me when we stayed with her. Everything had to be just right and it was all in miniature; it was so cute. Her joy was truly contagious.

These few days with my niece rekindled in me a sense of playfulness that carried over to a weekend get away with my man. I decided to save the Night of Romance Kit that I received to review for this special weekend. It’s actually a miniature plastic handbag that contains a Vibrating Couples Ring, a 5oz container of Please Pleasure Cream and a 5oz container of Touch Me Massage Oil.

Funny how a little, and I do mean teeny-tiny, something special like this can make a romantic evening very, very special. The adorable little tote slipped inconspicuously in my overnight case. I didn’t have to fuss with larger containers of lotion or massage oil to prep for the weekend. The miniature containers actually added to the sense of playfulness my husband and I felt as we lounged near the fireplace in our room.

Thinking of a sweet little stocking stuffer for someone special; even if the someone special is yourself? The Night of Romance Kit fits that bill perfectly.

Good Clean Love Lubricant —— $16.00

Christa
Ya know what I dig about Good Clean Love Lubricant? I absolutely get it that it’s organic; well it’s made of 95% organic ingredients anyway. Their corporate logo includes the words: “Chemistry without chemicals”. That rocks!

Good Clean Love Lubricant is a water-based lube, but it has a very natural feel to it. Other water-based lubes I’ve tried can be kinda runny, but not this one. That’s because it’s actually more of a gel than a liquid. If there’s one drawback to a water-based lube it’s that it can dry out with vigorous use. And when I’m pegging my little sub, butt-boy BF, Alex, things can get pretty vigorous, ok? Good Clean Love Lubricant has less of a problem with drying out, but if I find that it is getting a little tacky, I just add a wad of spit. Not very lady-like, you say? Fuck you! Alex totally gets off on spit. So I’m happy to oblige.

Good Clean Love Lubricant is 100% vegan; made with aloe vera, xanthan gum and seaweed, and it’s paraben-free. And I really like that it’s edible and actually tastes good too. I’ve come to the conclusion that if you wouldn’t put the lube you’re using in your mouth, perhaps it shouldn’t go in your snatch either…just sayin’. Oh, and it’s basically unscented too.

Safe for latex condoms, silicone toys and for use throughout pregnancy, Good Clean Love Lubricant is cruelty-free too; no animal testing. In other words, it’s damn near perfect. Get on this now, people!

Here’s a mighty big handful of pleasure from the good folks at Funwares.

Nexus Max 5 —— $69.95

Glenn & Hank
Glenn: “This here is the Nexus Max 5. The package says it’s a G-spot massager. But, if you ask me, it should also say it’s a P-spot massager.”
Hank: “Glenn thinks everything belongs in his ass.”
Glenn: “That’s not exactly true. But, for the most part, if a toy is designed for G-spot stimulation it’ll probably work wonders on your prostate too. That being said, I’ll admit that the Nexus Max 5 is not for beginners!”
Hank: “That’s an understatement. I couldn’t get the first knob on the insertable end past my rosebud.”
Glenn: “Yep, this is a professional grade insertable, that’s for sure. But for a talented power bottom like me, there’s nothing too it.”
Hank: “I love the shape of it. The Nexus Max 5 is made of medical grade silicone, which is one of the safest and most hygienic sex toy materials available. It’s completely smooth and when you lube it up, with a water-based lube, (and make sure you only use water-based lube) it’s slick and slippery and basically slides into Glenn’s ass like a hot knife through butter.”
Glenn: “The unique shape of the Nexus Max 5 makes it so easy to handle, even when lubed up. You, or your partner, can get a real good grip on the thing. And you can power-fuck your ass with it too, although most guys will probably just use it as a butt plug. Here’s the thing, if you can’t easily insert at least two or three fingers in your hole, this toy is not for you.”
Hank: “I swear my man has the most talented ass in town. It’s been known to swallow my entire fist, so the Nexus Max 5 is a cakewalk for him. It comes with a removable bullet vibe, which has 3 variable speeds of vibration. It runs on one of those little round watch batteries and it comes already loaded with a battery right out of the package.”
Glenn: “There are also these cool little nubs or cleats on the vibe housing that land on my taint (perineum) when the Nexus Max 5 lodged inside my ass. My sphincter can grab hold of the notched neck of this baby and keep it nestled inside for as long as I like. And unlike a lot of the other P-spot vibes on the market that are designed for the ass-play novice, this one fills me up nicely. The vibration is strong enough so that I can feel it all through my pelvis; my dick, my balls, everything is having a good time at once.”
Hank: “This is a high quality toy. It’s rugged, manly and it’s jet black. It’s non-porous, phthalate-free, hypoallergenic, latex free and the silicone is food-grade. ”
Glenn: “And because this toy is high-grade silicone, cleanup and even sterilization is a snap. Wash it down with soap and water; wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution, drop it in boiling water for a few minutes; or put it in the top rack of your dishwasher. Be sure to remove the bullet vibe for these last two options.”
Hank: “The Nexus Max 5 comes in a simple, but attractive package; just a folded plastic box really. There’s a small foldout booklet inside the package that offers instructions for prostrate massage.”
Glenn: “If there’s someone on your shopping list with an ass talent like mine, or you want to be one of the big boys when you grow up, the Nexus Max 5 is the ideal gift. The box could easily be wrapped for gift-giving.”

Now we welcome a brand new manufacturer to our review family. Just about everyone’s favorite high-class video production house, Digital Playground is not making sex toys too. We have two to share with you today.

Riley’s Pleasure Ring w/ Silver Bullet —— $24.99

Ken & Denise
Ken: “Denise and I are huge fans of Digital Playground. In fact our all time favorite movie is Pirates.”
Denise: “So imagine our delight when we heard that Digital Playground is now producing a line of sex toys with the Pirates theme.”
Ken: “Think of it as an adult version of the movie themed toys kids get at a fast food outlet.”
Denise: “We scored the Riley’s Pleasure Ring w/ Silver Bullet for review. It’s named after the porn star, Riley Steele, who appears in Pirates 2.”
Ken: “You get this white stretchy cockring that is molded with skulls and a hook to keep with the pirate theme. It’s pretty funny, actually. Anyhow, there’s a barrel shaped thingy on the top of the ring, this is where the silver bullet attaches to the ring in a horizontal fashion.”
Denise: “It is pretty comical, but it works! The bullet has 3 speeds and two pulse settings for variety. It’s amazing what they’re able to do with bullet vibes these days. It used to be, and not so long ago, they were only one speed.”
Ken: “Yeah, it work great as a vibe holder, but not so great as a cockring. I’m used to a much more snug ring. The Riley’s Pleasure Ring is way too stretchy to have any constriction capacity.”
Denise: “The Riley’s Pleasure Ring is made of TPE; Thermoplastic elastomer, sometimes referred to as thermoplastic rubber. Curiously enough the package is more about advertising the movies and the Pirates toy collection than about the materials used in the toy. The package does say that it is phthalate-free. So there’s that. I did look online for more product information, but didn’t find any. The Digital Playground website did say that the toy comes with a complimentary lined satin storage/travel pouch. But ours didn’t. It also says ‘Crystal enhanced handle’. WHAT? I think they need to review their ad copy.”
Ken: “The vibe is activated by a single push button which cycles it through its different settings; pretty straight forward. It takes three watch batteries and they are included in the package. You do not want to put any lube on the vibe before inserting it into the ring, that will make the bullet slip from its holder.”
Denise: “The ring itself is pretty easily cleaned with hot soap and water, but it really can’t be sterilized. The bullet is splash-proof so you can only can wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.”
Ken: “I’m gonna come right out and say it. I was expecting a lot more from a Digital Playground product. They make such great movies; clearly a lot of thought and money go into making them. But the Riley’s Pleasure Ring is just kitsch.”
Denise: “I have to agree. The vibrating cockring is a great idea, but this one is sub par, at least the ring part is. It seems like their only thought was to cash in on the Pirates theme; not a lot of thought went into making a quality product, which is really unfortunate.”

Jesse Jane’s Pirate Booty Stroker —— $24.99

Brad
Jesse Jane is my favorite porn star. I think I have at least a half dozen of her movies, including the two Pirates movies. So when I saw the Jesse Jane’s Pirate Booty Stroker at Dr Dick’s place, I asked if I could review it.

I want to start my review with how the stroker looks in its package. The clear molded plastic case features a totally hot pic of Ms Jane in her pirate costume. You can see the Jesse Jane’s Pirate Booty Stroker through the clear plastic and it looks like an ice sculpture. Very cool! I know ya can’t tell a book by its cover, but the presentation is totally hot, especially for a Jesse Jane fan, like me.

I opened the package and fished out the jelly-like stroker. It’s made of Cyberskin, which really soft, floppy and squishy. I have to say; upon closer inspection of the stroker outside the package, it is a little eerie. It’s like this see-through elf of a Jesse Jane. There’s also a sweet smell to it, almost like strawberry shortcake. I kid you not.

The thing about this stroker is that it has two small apertures at either end of Jesse’s tiny body — one where her asshole would be and the other at her mouth. Since you can see right through her body, you can also see the textured canal that is supposed to surround your dick when you fuck this thing. I mean that’s what a masturbator is all about, right?

Right off the bat I’m thinkin’ I’m never gonna get my 7.5” thick cock into the Jesse Jane’s Pirate Booty Stroker no matter how stretchy the Cyberskin is. But I proceeded anyhow. I got my favorite water-based lube; it’s the only kind of lube I’d ever use with Cyberskin. Funny, there’s nothing on the package that would warn a user about that. In fact the package has no information about the care and handling of this special material. And that’s way too bad, because if you use the wrong kind of lube with Cyberskin it will disintegrate. And if you don’t care for it after each and every use, you will destroy it.

So anyhow, I lube up the stroker and I’m trying to figure out a way to shimmy my boner into it when I finally give up. I realize the Jesse Jane’s Pirate Booty Stroker is not made for someone with my endowment. Bummer! This would probably be a great masturbation sleeve for someone with an average sized cock.

I love the feel of Cyberskin, it makes for some fantastic sensations. But it has certain drawbacks. Cleaning it is a bitch. I was able to submerge the Jesse Jane’s Pirate Booty Stroker into a sink of warm soapy water, but it’s impossible to turn it inside out to get it completely clean. I was having enough problems cleaning out the lube; but had I also dropped a load of spunk in there as well, it would have been even a bigger headache.

You also have to remember to dust Cyberskin with body powder or cornstarch once it is thoroughly dry. If you forget this essential step the toy will become so tacky and sticky that you won’t be able to use it again. But powdering the ribbed canal inside this stroker is nearly impossible, again because you can’t turn it inside out. You also need to store Cyberskin apart for your other toys too. I keep mine in a plastic bag.

I want to close with what I think I know about us guys and how we jerkoff. We love to wank! We love to cum! We love to make a mess! But we absolutely hate the cleanup. That’s why most of us will dump our load in a dirty sock, a wad of Kleenex, an old tee shirt or a towel. Once the bust-a-nut event is over, we don’t want to think anymore about it. Now a masturbator that isn’t easy to clean, one that takes a load of special care will be fun for a time, but then the novelty probably won’t last.

I’d love to be proven wrong about this, but until I hear otherwise, I’m gonna stick to my guns.

ENJOY

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The Plan B

Hey sex fans,

Product Review Friday is back again; and today we have a handful of products from our very good friends at SexToy.com.

Dr Dick Review Crew Members — Ken & Denise, Brad and Angie do the honors. So let’s get right to it.

Bsoft Skyblue Rechargeable Massager —— $55.60

Angie
I could hardly wait to get home after Dr Dick handed off the Bsoft Skyblue Rechargeable Massager to me. As he and I talked about the weather, I kept fiddling with the attractive package in my lap. I have to admit, I was completely distracted. Luckily Dr Dick was kind enough to notice and he sent me on my way.

I set the package on the passenger seat as I drove home. I would catch a glimpse of the image of the Bsoft Skyblue on the package and imagine all the fun I would soon be having.

Once home I opened the tasteful package. I discovered an instruction manual, the lovely Bsoft Skyblue with it’s space-aged design and the recharger nestled in a formed plastic holder inside a black carton. As I gingerly removed the vibe from its resting place I inadvertently pressed the power-on button. It immediately sprang to life. Glory be; the Bsoft Skyblue comes already charged. How delightful and thoughtful!

There are two other buttons on the face of the vibe; one marked + and one marked -. These regulate the multifunction and multispeed. The unit itself is about 6” long, made of a hard plastic, which is phthalates free, hypoallergenic and latex free. So far, so good.

A serious problem arose moments after I took the Bsoft Skyblue from its package. You see, there is a small rubbery plug that covers (or is supposed to cover) the recharge port. And this plug absolutely will not stay in place. I don’t know if this is a design flaw on all the units, or if I’m the only unlucky consumer. Either way, it is very distressing.

I always apply at least some lube to whatever toy I am using on or around my vulva. I will not compromise on that. The fact that this dang plug won’t stay in place gave me pause about using the vibe. If I get lube, during use, or water, during cleanup, in the port it will probably won’t recharge.

I gingerly use the vibe by softly placing it on my vulva. I love the sensations. The vibrations are very strong, which I really like. I would have moved the vibe around more than I did if I used lube, but I didn’t. This is a huge drawback.

When it’s time for cleanup I wipe it down with a lint-free cloth and my anti-bacterial toy cleaner. I dare not get this near soapy water; again another huge drawback in my estimation. I simply don’t trust a toy I can’t completely clean and sanitize. And could we please stop using the ridiculous designation — splash-proof? That is the dumbest thing I ever did hear. It’s either waterproof or it’s not. Simple! There is no in between. Period!

There is so much I like about the Bsoft Skyblue Rechargeable Massager, I really do. But the port plug issue is a fatal flaw for me. The only way I could recommend this toy is if the customer could actually handle the toy before she bought it. If the unit you hold has the same flaw as mine; simply walk away.

7 Super Stretch Sleeves —— $16.59

Ken & Denise
Denise: “It must be silly season in toyland.”
Ken: “You can say that again!”
Denise: “What we have here is 7 Super Stretch Sleeves. Six of them are 1.75” long and less than an inch in diameter. The seventh one is just short of 3” in length and only slightly larger in diameter.”
Ken: “They are made of a clear jelly material and each one has a slightly different configuration of bumps, points and nodules.”
Denise: “What are these things for, you might ask. Good question. Originally I thought they were to fit around a dildo shaped vibrator, or the like. The package shows that as an option.”
Ken: “But the package also says that one shouldn’t wear it for longer than 20 minutes. This suggests to me that these sleeves are supposed to be worn on a guy’s cock.”
Denise: “Well I guess that’s true if the said ‘guy’ has a teensy tiny unit. I couldn’t slip them over two of my fingers with ease. And I have slender fingers.”
Ken: “I took one look at these things and said forgetaboutit! I’m not heavy hung, by any means, but I couldn’t stretch one of these out enough to fit over my cock. And even if I had, it would have been so tight it would have strangled my poor boner.”
Denise: “And if you stretch the sleeve out, the bumps and ridges disappear, rendering them ineffectual. The 7 Super Stretch Sleeves set is completely silly. Move along, folks; there’s nothing to see here.”

Men’s Pleasure Wand —— $23.52

Brad
Ok, I get what they are trying to do here with the Men’s Pleasure Wand. It’s designed as an anal insertion toy. Of course a woman could also use this, because they have assholes too. But I digress.

Anyhow, the Men’s Pleasure Wand is supposed to massage my balls, perineum and prostate; all at the same time. And it does…sort of. But I’m gettin a little ahead of myself.

The Men’s Pleasure Wand is waterproof and comes with a multi-speed controller that is attached to the part that is planted in your ass by a wire. It also has a ring on the base of the vibe that makes it easy to insert and remove. It’s also a very modest size in terms of girth. It’s no bigger than my middle finger. So if you’ve ever fingered your hole; and let’s be honest, you know you have. The Men’s Pleasure Wand will easily slip in your butt. Always remember to use a lot of lube with any kind of ass play, ok?

The package tells me nothing about the materials used in making the Men’s Pleasure Wand. That sucks! There is also a distinct off-gas smell to the toy once you open the package. This tells me that the materials used are of an inferior quality. It probably also means it’s not phthalates free, hypoallergenic or latex free. I happened to have my favorite silicone-based lube handy, so I used that. Didn’t seem to ill-effect the vibe in any way.

I really liked how easy the Men’s Pleasure Wand inserts. I really like the controller, which cycles four speeds. The controller makes it easy to change the vibration in the vibe without having to remove — adjust — then reinsert. The vibration is strongest in my ass, although it’s not all that strong even there. As for the other areas; I couldn’t feel much vibration on my balls or taint. DISAPPOINTED!

The design of the Men’s Pleasure Wand allows me to use it while lying down or sitting. There’s no moving about with this in your ass. Since there’s no notch on the shaft, there’s nothing for my anal sphincter to clamp on to and hold it in place. This is also a big disappointment. I mean, if it’s not gonna stay put, unless you sit on it, what’s the point?

Can I recommend the Men’s Pleasure Wand? Well, if you absolutely can’t find anything better, I suppose this would do. But why not look for something made of silicone; it’s a much healthier material to put in your ass than whatever this stuff is.

ENJOY

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Just a teensy bit naughty

It’s Product Review Friday and we veer a little to the kinkier side of things. Thanks to our friends at Adult Sex Toys .com we have a handful of edgier toys to tell you about.

Here to spread the news are Dr Dick Review Crew members — Ken & Denise, Christa, Jack & Karen and Brad.

So without further ado…

Leather Wrist Restraints W/Red Hearts —— $39.20

Ken & Denise
Denise: “We scored big time with these fantastic Leather Wrist Restraints. These things are the real deal too.”
Ken: “Yeah, I was hoping we’d finally score some good kinky shit, because we were getting tired of reviewing the awful stuff that had been coming our way lately.”
Denise: “So true! But these beautiful black Leather Wrist Restraints with the playful red leather heart inlay design make up for recent disappointments.”
Ken: “Like Denise said; these are the real deal — sturdy black leather and metal studs and buckles. Very hot!”
Denise: “They are comfortable, because they are totally adjustable. There are 11 holes for the buckle. I have very small wrists and Ken has massive wrists and these Leather Wrist Restraints fit us both. They don’t have a lining, like some restraints I’ve seen, but the leather is soft and the edges are sealed and rounded so they don’t cut off my circulation when I’m wearing them.”
Ken: “They also work as ankle restraints for Denise, because she is so petite. But they aren’t big enough for my ankles. I wonder; do they make matching ankle restraints in a men’s size?”
Denise: “If you think you may enjoy a little role-play or power-play, these are the Leather Wrist Restraints for you. They are relatively inexpensive, but they are built to last.
Ken: “And it’s so easy to create a competent bondage scenario with these babies and some bondage rope. Think of an under the mattress or through the bedposts setup that will provide loads of fun for both the bottom and the top.”
Denise: “Treat your leather toys with care and they will last and last. We have this wonderful leather cleaner that is just perfect for maintaining and conditioning all our leather stuff.”

Keeping with our heart theme…

25.5” Red Metallic Heart Bat —— $24.93

Christa
They call this thing a Red Metallic Heart Bat, but it looks, feels and handles more like a riding crop. But whatever you call it, it is fuckin SWEET!

I brought the Red Metallic Heart Bat home the other day; pulled it out of the bag and I thought my sub, butt-boy BF, Alex , was gonna swoon. I know I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating. He’s like this total ass whore. I was his first girlfriend to finger him and play with his prostate. Now it’s fuck me; fuck me; fuck me all the time. So now I have a little something to smack his ass with when I’m pegging the livin’ daylights out of him.

A crop is not as painful as a paddle, but it still offers up a great sting. And if you smack the bare skin just right, besides getting a very satisfying snap, you get this adorable heart imprint. Nothing says love to your sub like a heart-shaped welt on his behind.

The Red Metallic Heart Bat is exceptionally stylish as well as being very practical. It’s 25.5” long; it has black plastic stitching up the length of the stem, which is topped off with the red leather heart. It has a leatherette handle with nice metal finishings.

I have to admit I got totally wet the first time I used this crop on Alex. I had him bend over the arm of the couch and drop his drawers. He, of course, obediently obliged me. I came up behind him and began to tickle his ass and balls with Red Metallic Heart Bat. He immediately got hard and started to ooze precum. I spread his legs farther apart and lubed up his hole. I had his favorite butt plug lubed and ready. As I placed it against his pucker and pressed it home, I brought down the crop with a snap. I swear; Alex didn’t know what hit him. He let out with an animal like sound; a kind of howl and a scream together, so I knew I hit my mark, both literally and figuratively

Nipplettes Purple —— $20.45

Jack & Karen
Jack: “So here’s some fun for everyone.Nipplettes are cute vibrating tit clamps.”
Karen: “They are adjustable, although they never really clamp all that tightly. Which makes them great for beginners. They are easy to operate; a simple one push-button control turns them on and off. There’s just the one speed.”
Jack: “Nipplettes don’t have a very strong bullet vibe either. But I guess novice players wouldn’t want the vibration to be all that strong anyway, right?”
Karen: “Nipplettes look like clothes pins with the bullet vibe inside the top of the clamp. They are made of plastic with a rubber coating that makes them even less scary to play with.”
Jack: “They are battery operated, but not waterproof. The package says they are waterproof, but they are NOT. So be careful there. Karen mentioned they are adjustable; and they are. You adjust them by twisting a small plastic screw on the base of the clamp.”
Karen: “The vibe is relatively quiet, but they do have a tendency to rattle, which was a little annoying.”
Jack: “We found that Nipplettes can only be used while laying down. Since the clamping action isn’t very strong they tend to fall off if you’re standing of sitting. This was the really annoying part. I mean if you can’t move around while they’re on, what good are they?”
Karen: “Oh, and we happily discovered that Nipplettes are not just for your nipples. In fact, I think they are better suited to other parts of the body. I used them on my labia and clit and totally loved it. Jack used them on his foreskin and his testicles, and he like that a lot too.”
Jack: “Yeah, the best thing about the Nipplettes is that you can be so creative with them. You can use them on all your sensitive parts without fear that they will hurt you.”
Karen: “Remember these are for fun. If you’re looking for the kind of clamps that will make you squirm, you’ll need to look elsewhere.”
Jack: “Yeah, but strategically placing them on your cock or pussy will provide you with the kind of fun you couldn’t get from hardcore clamps. So there’s that.”

Finally, we have…

Pecker Ball Gag —— $9.59

Brad
I though to myself, so ok I know this isn’t a professional grade ball gag, but it could be fun. And I was right…at least the first couple of times me and the GF played around with the Pecker Ball Gag.

It has this soft, little penis shaped gag the size and shape of a Champagne cork. It’s not really a gag, because you actually bite down on it. So it’s more like for show than it is for serious. But we knew this is just for fun and it would be the perfect thing for beginners.

The “gag” stays in place by means of an adjustable leather strap, which is pretty sturdy, but not all that long. So if you have a big head like me, you won’t be the one wearing the gag.

So far so good, right?

Unfortunately there are these two other little straps on either side of the gag that that connects it to the sturdy neck strap and they are like totally fuckin lame. We used the Pecker Ball Gag exactly twice before one of the little straps broke rendering the entire thing useless. WTF? This just goes to show you that a toy is only as good as its weakest part.

Great idea, piss-poor execution, that is if you ask me. But what can you expect from something under $10?

ENJOY

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You’re The Top

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday once again. And today we are lucky enough to have another LELO treasure for you to admire.

Dr Dick Review Crew member, Brad discovers the meaning of a Pleasure Object.

BILLY —— $129.00

Brad
DAMN, this is the most expensive sex toy…I mean Pleasure Object I’ve ever seen. Before I got hooked up with the Dr Dick Review Crew I used to make all my own sex toys. You’d be amazed what you can do with some bubble wrap, Jell-O, a battery-powered toothbrush or a bar of soap. Now that I’m an official review crew member I’m getting the education of my life. You’ll probably laugh, but before I got this BILLY I had never hear of LELO.

I knew I was in for a treat just by looking at the packaging. Everything about it says elegant. The message on the package, translated into multiple languages, reads:BILLY is a gentleman’s G-spot massager for those who wish to explore a more energetic sensation within. Benefiting from an ergonomic design tailored precisely to the male form, he offers sustained control through five differing stimulation modes. Such versatility achieves breathtaking results, where vibrations may be kept mild during arousal, before increasing to the levels that excite his user most. Whether enjoyed individually or with a partner, BILLY is a highly discreet and satisfying companion, always primed to deliver the most intense and varied feelings of release.

That a fancy way of sayin’ — ya pop this sucker in your ass for a groovy prostate massage. Hey, can I ask you people to stop referring to a dude’s prostate as “a gentleman’s G-spot”? I think a P-spot is pretty fuckin lame, but “a gentleman’s G-spot” is absolutely ridiculous.

Now that I have that off my back I can get back to telling you about BILLY. It’s a relatively petite thing as far as insertables go. 6.5” total length; 4” insertable length; 3.25″ circumference and weighs in at just about a pound. This is clearly intended for the novice butt pirate.

It has a ridge on the velvety-smooth silicone insertable part that is designed to make BILLY safe for ass play. The whole toy will never accidentally slip all the way in your bum, which is a fear that many guys new to ass play have. I know I did.

The controls for BILLY are located in the handle, which is made of hard plastic. It has 7 power settings and 5 vibe patterns. Steady vibration, three speeds of intermittent vibration and a wave setting where the vibration oscillates between gentle and stronger vibrations. And the best thing is it’s rechargeable. There’s this little port in the tip of the handle that accepts the recharging unit. Pretty slick, huh? My battery budget was gettin outta control. It takes about 2 hours to fully charge. And it’ll last about 4 hours on a full charge. It even lets you know when it is time to recharge. The control dial will glow red, instead of white when pushed.

You’ll have to use lube with this toy. Trying to insert it anally without lube is just asking for trouble. But be sure you use only a water-based lube.

Figuring out the four-quadrant controller can be a challenge. For the life of me I couldn’t figure it out when first I tried. I thought it was a good idea to run through the different speeds and intensities before I popped it in my ass. But suddenly it just died. The white LED light was still on, but I couldn’t get it to vibrate. I thought for sure I fucked up this expensive toy. I put it away for a while so I could review the instructions. On my second attempt, a couple hours later, it miraculously came back to life, but only slowly. I have no idea what the fuck was up with that. Freaked me out though.

Once I had BILLY in my hole, I really liked the feel of it. But I had the damnedest time working the controller while it was in place. The hard plastic handle and control button are impossible to hold on to or manipulate with lubed up fingers and hands. And don’t even think about getting lube in the recharge port, because the thing will be toast for damn sure.

This gets me to clean up. Since BILLY is only splash proof and not waterproof you have to be very careful not to get water in the recharge port either. That being said, soap and water works fine. Or you can wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.

If you can spring the big wad of cash needed to score one of these Pleasure Objects; I say go for it!

ENJOY!

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Satisfaction

Sex Fans,

It’s Product Review Friday once again and the Dr Dick Review Crew is about to bring you some might fine stuff.

A couple of weeks ago we introduced you to one of our newest manufacturers — Blush Novelties and their Eve’s Rabbit.

Today Joy walks us around another fine Blush Novelties massager.

And just in time for National Condom Week February 14-21, Brad has some amazing condoms from Sweden, called RFSU condoms to tell you about.  You’re gonna love these!

Magic Massager —12 Function, 3 Attachments  —— $46.30

Joy
Can you believe it’s 2010 already? I’ve been a Review Crew member for two and a half years. And in that time I’ve had the pleasure of introducing you to a load of great products, but also some not so great as well.

Today’s review falls squarely into the great product category. I want to tell you about the Magic Massager from Blush Novelties. This thing is phenomenal. It’s a mini-wand type of vibrator; it’s only about 8 inches long from tip to tail. It’s powered by 4 AA batteries (not included in the package).

One would expect a diminutive vibe like this to carry only 2 AA batteries, right? Well, maybe it’s the two extra batteries, but whatever it is this thing is the strongest vibrator, per inch, I have ever used. It rocks my world, baby!

It features a 12-mode vibration system with a LED control panel. Can ya stand it? I mean, come on; that’s freakin overkill, ain’t it? Honestly, the first time I had the Magic Massager working its …ahhh magic on my girly parts, I couldn’t honestly say I got beyond the first 5 modes before I got off TWICE! It’s that great. When I took the time to investigate all the modes, I was able to distinguish between all the vibration functions. There’s this one, #9 I think, that is totally crazy. It feels like the thing is running out of power and just when you think it’s gonna die it come roaring back to life. Loved it! And even when the Magic Massager is rockin out, it’s pretty quiet.

One thing to note, the user has to cycle through all of the modes to get to the one she likes the best. But there is an off button that stops the vibe altogether, which is much appreciated.

The Magic Massager comes with 3 soft and pliable attachments — a dome shape, a flat grooved shape and a beaded shape. The beaded shape is my favorite. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any information on the package about what the attachments are made of. I am pretty sure it’s not silicone. I used a silicone-based lube with it and it appears to be fine. (Note to manufacturer: it’s always a good idea to include information on the materials used in producing the toy. This helps the consumer make an educated decision on if it is right for her/him.)

Besides the vibrating functions and the three attachments, this puppy is waterproof. And anyone who follows my reviews knows I’m all about bringing toys to the bath.

The battery compartment is a bitch to open. I struggled with it till I almost gave up. And you must sure to replace the little clear O-ring properly, or the vibe will not be waterproof.

This is a unisex toy. Boys as well as girls will really have a ball with this. You’ll be hard pressed to find a more powerful and versatile vibe at this low price. It comes in very nice, yet modest packaging. Get one today!

Next up we have two styles of RFSU condoms for review.  They come to us courtesy of our friends at O!Zone Condoms, the exclusive American importer of RFSU condoms from Sweden.

Okeido 3-Pack  —— $6.00

Brad
I’m not one of those guys who throws a hissy fit over having to wear a condom when I fuck. I happen to think it’s a sign of respect to the lady I’m about to bone. She doesn’t always know where my johnson has been and I rarely know where her meatpie has been. So it just makes sense. I mean, the more of a big deal ya make about this simple health and safety thing the more of a douchebag you are. So fuckin get over it already.

Today I have the pleasure of introducing you to two of the amazing RFSU condoms. The first is Okeido. I don’t know what that mean, or even if it has a meaning. Maybe it’s Swedish for abbondanza. Ok, so here’s the deal. Okeido is a slightly larger sheath for us bigger boys — length 190 mm., width 53 mm. They’re silky to the touch, silicone-lubed, ultra-thin, have a fuller reservoir tip and they’re an ideal fit.

This Swedish company, RFSU (the Swedish Association for Sexuality Education), is known for their stringent quality testing as well as for their pleasure-enhancing designs. Here, here!

And here’s something I’ve never seen before. These rubbers are vegan! I suppose you’re gonna ask; what makes a condom vegan? Well, I’ll tell ya; the Vegan Action Foundation certifies that no animal products of any kind were used in the manufacturing of these condoms nor were any animals used in product testing. This makes them a bit pricier than your run of the mill condoms. But you’re not gonna get greener than this and they make for an integral component of a cruelty-free lifestyle! And that is totally my style.

Birds ‘N Bees 3- Pack —— $6.00

These babies, like their Okeido siblings, are also vegan. They’re silky to the touch, silicone-lubed, ultra-thin and have a reservoir tip.

The Birds ‘N Bees style is ribbed and bumped for added sensations. Mmmm, ribbed and bumped! I actually have a preference for a textured condom. But these are not quite as roomy as the Okeido — length 185 mm., width 52 mm. They’re not uncomfortable, mind you, just snug. These would be idea for the man with an average endowment.

Now all we have to do is get them to make a ribbed and bumped version of the larger condoms.

Despite the fact that these are vegan, they are still latex. So you folks out there with a latex sensitivity need to look elsewhere. And for god sake, guys, use a personal lube when you groovin’, especially when you’re wearing a glove. And make sure it’s water-based or silicone-based though. Oil-based lube and latex condoms do not mix.

These condoms are a luxury product for the Prophylactic Connoisseur. Go get ‘em!

ENJOY

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Oh what fun it is to ride…

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday and this is Week 4 of this year’s Holiday Gift Giving Guide.

This week we will hear from Review Crew members: Glenn & Hank, Dixie and Brad.

First up we have yet another exquisite erotic art insertable from the artisans at XHale Glass.  This is the third product we’ve reviewed from this outstanding company.

Mister Twister ——  $129.95

Glenn & Hank
Glenn:  “WE’RE BACK!  Did you miss us?  We missed you.  Well actually, we missed the sex toys.  Being a Review Crew member has its perks.”
Hank:  “He’s in such a good mood because we got to review another toy that he can shove up his ass.  Glenn has the hungriest hole around.”
Glenn:  “I like to think of it as talented, not hungry.”
Hank:  “A rosebud by any other name…”
Glenn:  “Speaking of talented; a literary allusion and an asshole allusion all in one sentence.  You’re on a roll, my man!”
Hank:  “Ok, let’s get on with it.  What we have here is an art glass butt plug. Mister xh600Twister is just one of the beautiful creations to be had when you visit XHale online.  Glenn and I are new to glass, but after this little encounter; there will surely be more glass toys to come.”
Glenn:  “This petite beauty is only 3 3/8” tall.  It has a very modest girth of not much more than an inch.  This is your starter butt plug model.  I’m like totally used to way bigger toys in my ass, but there is something about this stunning little number that makes it one of my favorites.  I feel all dressed up with this puppy pluggin my hole.  Maybe that’s because it’s art, baby.  All XHale art is individually handmade, which makes my insertable even more precious to me.  No one else in the world has exactly the same one as I.”
Hank:  “It sure is!  It also has this amazing blue and white swirl in the solid glass.  That’s why when Mister Twister joined our dildo and plug collection it was like a snowy dove trooping with crows.”
Glenn:  “There you go again!  Apparently you’ve got Romeo and Juliet on the brain.  But you’re right; Mister Twister is a jewel, that’s for sure.”
Hank:  “Because this is the highest quality glass, it will last a lifetime; ya just gotta treat it with care.”
Glenn:  “XHale helps you do that by providing a very sturdy black padded drawstring pouch to keep your insertable art safe from getting nicked or chipped.  But we think Mister Twister is so beautiful; when it’s not adorning my hole it is proudly placed on our mantle.”
Hank:  “And if you think that is gross, you don’t know squat about glass insertables.  You can clean this baby with simple soap and water; wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution; or sterilize in boiling water or the dishwasher.”
Glenn:  “You can use any sort of lube you want to with a glass object like this.  And a little goes a very long way.  For someone unfamiliar with a butt plug, this will take some getting use to.  It’s hard as a rock.  But once you get the hang of it, it will be your material of choice from there on out.  I can wear Mister Twister for hours on end.  There’s no chafing; nothing like that.”
Hank:  “And you can warm or chill glass for an added sensation.”
Glenn:  “Not all glass toys are made of the same quality glass.  But if you are considering a purchase, look for the name XHale.  You will not be disappointed.”
Hank:  “Glass, particularly stunning art glass like this, is gonna cost you.  But what thing of quality won’t?”
Glenn:  “If you know someone with an asshole and that person is very special; then Mister Twister is the ideal holiday gift for him or her.”

Next another vibe from our friends at Vibratex.

Neo Cockring by Vibratex —— $24.99

Brad
So I was like totally hot for the Neo Cockring when I saw it in its stylish plexiglas storage case.  At 33 I’m just discovering the joys of wearing a cockring. I was telling some of my gay clients at the gym about getting my first cockring about a month ago.  They looked at me like I had just landed from outer space. OK, so I’m a late bloomer; sue me!

The Neo Cockring is a clear jelly sorta deal.  Although it’s not a jelly, it’s made of a 131111phthalate-free elastomer.  This may not make a difference to you, but it sure does to me.  I don’t do anything that may contain phthalates.  I mean, why would I endanger my health if I don’t have to?

The thing that rocks, or is supposed to, is this cockring has a built-in vibe, and it has this tickler side to it.  And even though the vibe is a tiny thing; it has two activation choices. The first is a side button that remains “on” until depressed, and the second is a pressure sensitive pad behind the ticklers.  So my GF is like waiting for me to warp this thing around my johnson and show her what it’ll do to her clit.  I position the ring around my dick and balls with the vibe on the top of my cock with the tickle head pointing outward.  Are you following this?

I activate the vibe and…well I feel it, but it ain’t rockin my world; as I had hoped.  But ok, maybe the vibe is not for me but my GF.  Ahhh, not so fast!  She says she can feel it too, and she likes the way it turns itself on as it comes in contact with her clit, but there ain’t enough bang for her buck either.

Bummer, cuz this is such a great concept.  You can see the Vibratex people put some thought into this.  I mean, the thing is waterproof and all; comes with batteries as well as a replacement set.  I never saw another vibe like that.  But still the vibe is a little too limp, if ya know what I mean.

Finely, something very unique from Doc Johnson.

Wish-Bone Vibrator —— $25.50

Dixie
I’m doing a solo review today.  My partner, Joy, is working on another review for later in this series.

I have something no nonsense to show you this time around.  It’s about as simple and straightforward as you can get.  It’s the Wish-Bone Vibrator.31BFrJZTjtL._AA280_

I’ve used a lot of vibes in my day.  I think I own nearly two-dozen of them.  Some I’ve used a couple of times and that’s it; I never touch them again.  Others are favorites that I put to very good use frequently.  However, none of them look like the Wish-Bone.  So this little wonder gets high marks for it’s clever design.

Here’s how it works; you put your index finger (I prefer to use my middle finger) through the notch at the top of the vibe.  You finger tip lands on the single button that switches on the vibe and rotates it through its three speeds before coming to off.  That’s it; no bells, no whistles, just solid thoughtful design and construction.

It’s a perfect design.  I love to finger myself when I jill-off.  This extends my finger for effortless fingering.  It’s made of a hard plastic (phthalate-free) that excellently conducts the vibration.  It’s fabulous on my clit.  And if that isn’t enough, the thing is waterproof.  It’s so ideal; I now have the Wish-Bone permanently placed on the ledge of my tub.

And thank you, Doc Johnson, for including the first set of batteries.  That was mighty thoughtful of you.

Looking for a sweet little inexpensive stocking stuffer that will put a smile on a lady friend’s face.  Look no farther than the Wish-Bone.

ENJOY!

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Fabulous Four

Because The Dr Dick Review Crew has been inundated with loads of swell adult products to review, we will be presenting several different toys each week till we relieve the backlog.

Despite it not even being Halloween yet, I know from my forays into the land of retail that holiday gift giving is not far from the minds of a lot of people.  Perish the thought!  So expediting our reviews will also give you loads of gift-giving ideas.  And that, my friends, is all I’m gonna say about that till at least the middle of next month when we launch our annual Holiday Gift Giving Guide.

Today we will hear from Review Crew Members: Madora, Joy & Dixie, Brad and Glenn & Hank.  So without further ado…

There’s something brand-spankin new goin on at Fleshlight.   Here’s Brad to tell us all about it.

Sex In A Can: Spread Eagle Brew —— $39.95

The Fleshlight company has been around for a lone time.  They make the legendary Fleshlight and Fleshjack.  I’m the proud owner of my very own Fleshlight; it is my go-to toy for spankin the monkey.  I never get tired of my Fleshlight and I wouldn’t give it up for the world.  That’s way I wanted to review their new product:  Sex In A Can.large_1759

I am of the mind that foolin’ around with or trying to improve on a great product, an icon even, will sure enough just fuck things up.  I just couldn’t see why the Fleshlight people were tempting fate by bring out Sex In A Can.  But I promised Dr Dick that I would set aside my preconceived ideas and approach this new product with an open mind.

Damn!  I’ll be the first to admit, I was totally off base in thinking the iconic Fleshlight couldn’t be improved upon.  Wait, improved is not the word I’m looking for, because Sex In A Can doesn’t really improve on the original design, it just gives the consumer yet another option.

Those of you familiar with Fleshlight will know that every customer can pretty much customize every aspect of the unit he wants to buy.  They have several “orifice” options: pussy, mouth, asshole or “neutral”. The plastic case comes in silver, black or clear. The insert comes in different colors, and there are several different internal contours for the insert itself.

Sex In A Can is basically just another option in terms of size and shape.  Here’s what I mean. Sex In A Can is shaped like a tallboy beer, instead of the traditional oversized Fleshlight shape.  It is lighter, more compact, less expensive, yet it has all the features of its big brothers.

There are three brand new “orifice” options — two different pussies (Mmmm, pussies!) and a mouth.  Three new insert contours too.  Everything else — including the patented Superskin insert remains the same. The plastic case, the thing that looks like a tallboy beer, has removable caps at both ends, as does the Fleshlight. The top cap covers the head of the insert and keeps it clean when your dick’s not in it.  The end cap can also be removed for easy cleaning.

Just like the Fleshlight, ya gotta loosen the end cap a bit before you attempt to stick in your dick.  Sex In A Can is a whole lot tighter than my stalwart Fleshlight.  In fact, bein the hefty-cock brother I am, it was a very tight squeeze.  I had to use a shitload of lube just to get me started. Oh, and by the way, you can only use water-based lube with all the Fleshlight Superskin products.  Here’s a tip:  you adjust the suction created inside Sex In A Can by either loosening or tightening the base cap.

Clean up is a super-easy. A little soap and water will do the trick.  But once the insert is dry, you have to dust it, inside and out, with a little cornstarch, or body powder. This will help keep things as fresh as the day you got it.

My Sex In A Can:  Spread Eagle Brew, came with the Pink Spread Lady orifice; (Mmmm, pussies!) mini vortex insert; the cleverly designed beer can case; and sample packet of lube.

I like to soak my Superskin insert in warm water before I begin my stroke session.  This makes the already flesh-like insert even more life-like. It’s totally awesome; it feels like the real thing.

One thing you should be aware of.  There’s an off-gas that come from Sex In A Can when you first open it.  This, I’m sorry to say, is an unfortunate by-product of manufacturing super soft rubbery things like the insert.  It’s kind of like the same smell you get with a new carpet.  Just let it air out for a while before you use it.  Or you can just go ahead and wash the whole blasted thing before ya use, like I did.  Which is a good practice for any new sex toy.

There’s no gettin around it,Sex In A Can is great.

Sex furniture?  You betcha!  Glenn & Hank walk you around this offering from the amazing folks at Liberator.
Liberator Ramp —— $200.00

Glenn:  “Check this out!  This is the best thing that’s happened to butt fuckin since the invention of the sling.  The   Ramp is just one of Liberator’s many sex furniture shapes that are designed to add more fun and lessen bodily stress for whatever kind of sex you have up your sleeve.”
Hank:  “Or down your pant leg, as the case may be.  We got us a plus sized   Ramp and it is covered in black pleather.  But you can choose from a bunch of sizes and fabric options.”

200

Glenn:  “Pleather is great, because it cleans up fast.  And that’s a big plus because our sessions can get pretty messy.”
Hank:  “Ok, so what is the Liberator  Ramp exactly and why is even better than a sling, or a swing for that matter?  Good questions. The Liberator  Ramp is a big triangular shaped, sturdy, comfy and solidly made cushion.  Ours is 29” X 35” X 12”.  And it can be used in a multitude of ways.”
Glenn:  “It’s better than a sling or swing, because it’s portable, storable and you don’t have to suspend it from the ceiling, or set it up every time you want to shag.  It does stow easily under the bed.  It’s perfect for butt fuckin, because regardless of what position you like the Liberator  Ramp is gonna make the sex a whole lot better for the top as well as the bottom.”
Hank:  “Glenn likes it doggie style.  I just bend him over the  Ramp and plow away at his ass.  It’s easier on me, because his ass is elevated to just the right position for the ass-ult.  I can go as deep as possible, because his pelvis is supported by the Ramp.  Oh, and ya can’t really do doggie style in a sling or swing!”
Glenn:  “Hank is right!  I don’t have to arch my back or strain my arms and wrists pressing back against his manly thrusts.  But he can still grab my hair and pull.”
Hank:  “You joke, but I know you love it deep and heavy.  You’re just a dirty little piggy bottom, aren’t you?”
Glenn:  “Oink, oink!  I do enjoy a furious ride, that’s for damn sure.  Ok, so if you want to do another position, all you do is reposition yourself on the  Ramp for a little face-to-face action.  Like I lay down on the Ramp, with my head at the lowest part of the incline.  I scoot my butt to the highest edge of the incline.”
Hank:  “Again, his ass is perfectly positioned for me to fuck him silly.  With Glenn already angled down, I can lift and open his legs with ease.”
Glenn:  “My toes are pointed to Jesus, and I’m in fuckin’ heaven.”
Hank:  “Oh, the  Ramp is great for cocksucking too.  I just lay back on the Ramp, in the position Glenn just described, which elevates my hips 12” off the floor.  Glenn has all the access he needs to my dick, balls and rosebud.  He can service me till his heart’s content.”
Glenn:  “Again, there no stress or strain on my neck or back while I blow him.  And in this position Hank can grab his knees and pull open his own legs.  PERFECT!”
Hank:  “Could you live without a Ramp?  I suppose you could; we did all these years.  But now that we have this amazing piece of sex furniture, we’re thinking about adding other Liberator shapes to our collection.  HINT, HINT; Liberator send us more of your products, please!”
Glenn:  “I should probably add that the   Ramp was a big hit at a recent orgy we hosted.  Everyone was fighting for their time on the Ramp.  You know this thing is golden if it can satisfy a room full of sex-crazed queens.”
Hank:  “The  Ramp is a bit pricy, but it’s totally worth it.  It’s beautifully made here in the good old US of A of high quality materials.  It will last!”
Glenn:  “I can promise you that it will enhance your sex life, as it has ours.”

Joy & Dixie have the pleasure of introducing you to a new kid on the block, Duncan Charles Designs. They specialize in unique, handcrafted ceramic adult toys.

Signature —— $55.00

Dixie:  “Here’s something refreshing, this ceramic textured dildo is handmade!  I’m so tired of mass-produced sex toys, aren’t you?   Oh to have something unique, something that is crafted not manufactured.”
Joy:  “Dixie is so right; I love knowing that no one else on the planet had precisely the same toy as we have.  Each Duncan Charles Designs piece is unlike any other.  In fact, it’s beautiful art.  And it is GREEN!”
Dixie:  “Signature has a food grade high-gloss coating that makes it as smooth as glass. But it is also textured, just the way we like it.  Despite it being ceramic, there is nothing fussy about this beauty.”
Joy:  “However, you will want to treat Signature with loving care, not because it’s fragile, but because it is a fine-looking sculpture.”
Dixie:  “Signature comes wrapped in a lovely lined ultrasuede pouch.  Ours is jet black, but it also comes in red.  It’s just under 8″ long and weighs in at just over 8 ounces.”
Joy:  “It has a rounded head on top of its scalloped shaft.  The ridges add immeasurable fun.  Because of the super high-gloss finish, we only had to use a little bit of lube.  And you can use any type of lube you want with this ceramic baby.”

DCD signature black

Dixie:  “This dildo is designed for g-spot, clitoral or prostate massage.  Unlike most of the other G-spot stimulators that have a curve to them Signature is straight as an arrow.  And yet it is just as effective as the curved ones.”
Joy:  “I also really like the fact that I can warm and chill the Signature to suit my mood. You can chill it in the refrigerator for a few minutes or warm it by placing it under running hot water.”
Dixie:  “Clean up is easy with mild soap and warm water. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.  You can serialize it in boiling water for a minute or two, or pop it in the dishwasher with all your other fine china.”
Joy:  “Signature is so inexpensive considering what you get. — it’s a unique, multi-functional dildo, it’s a work of art, and it will never run out of batteries.”
Dixie:  “And, I might add, it’s GREEN.  Kudos Duncan Charles Designs!  Nothing to poison the environment or compromise your body’s health and wellbeing.  In short, Signature rocks my (our) box!”

Finally, Madora, has something fun from Big Teaze Toys to show you.

Super Flower Power: 2 Piece Bouquet —— $29.99

Home; batteries included (triple A), YES!  I love it when that happens.  Inside there’s a bonus Flower Power keychain, a mini version of the vibe that looks like a little daisy without the stem, this one even comes with bonus extra batteries (the little watch kind), EXCELLENT!sfp-500px

My first impression is that the vibrating part, the center of the flower, is a little hard for me.  At least for direct contact with my “flower”.  The center of the flower is hard plastic.  But I like the soft petals which spread the vibes out from its petals to yours.  It’s like a gentle labia massage, which is cool and rare in a vibrator.  These are especially nice if you use a little lube on the petals.

I’m starting to get used to the texture and hardness. I actually like it and like the strength of the vibe when I’m using it through my clothes, the barrier makes it not seem so hard and yet it’s still able to convey strong enough vibes right through to where they’re needed.  I was thinking it could be fun for when you want to tease your partner right through her clothes. Did I mention these toys are waterproof?

All in all it definitely did the trick but when I really start to get into it, either with the vibe or the little keychain, the soft petal ring pops right off the vibrator.  I either hafta kinda hold it on, or stop and put it back on, if I wanna keep playing with that part.  So that’s a bummer.

The keychain has been a godsend.  I’m on a trip right now and brought it with me and wasn’t concerned about security seeing it,  It just looks like a toy.  I ended up having cramps and everyone knows an orgasm is the best thing for cramps so I put it to use, you know, for medicinal purposes.

It’s small enough where it’s super discreet and even if you saw it your mind wouldn’t initially make the connection or the assumption that it’s a vibrator.  It isn’t exactly super quiet, so I wouldn’t want to bust it out in a public bathroom or anything, but it’s certainly convenient.  It’s only got one speed, and it’s pretty strong, again I prefer to use this one through my panties, because of it’s a hard texture.

In the end it made rainbows and smiley faces come out of me when I came, at least that’s what it felt like to me.  It’s not my first pick but it’s fun and I’d love to use it in a photo shoot sometime.

ENJOY

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Luscious LELO, Our Conclusion

For the last seven months, the Dr Dick Review Crew has been reveling in the sensuous pleasures that are LELO.  We’ve brought you 4 reviews so far — ELISE, BO, IRIS and GIGI

Today, we conclude our LELO presentation with three other amazing products.  Review Crew Members:  Kevin & Gina, Joy & Dixie and Brad do the honors.

ELLA —— $44.00

Kevin & Gina
Gina:  “We kicked off the LELO reviews with our review of GIGI.”
Kevin:  “So there’s some beautiful symmetry to us being part of the concluding reviews.”
Gina:  “And speaking of symmetry we have the pleasure of introducing you to ELLA, another stunning pleasure object from the undisputed leader in adult products, LELO!”Ella_white_mv1
Kevin:  “ELLA is not a vibrator.  It is, however, a beautifully sculpted insertable that is ideal for G-spot or P-spot stimulation.”
Gina:  “And you can use either end!  It’s like getting two toys in one.”
Kevin:  “It comes in the famous LELO high-end packaging.  It’s perfect for gift giving.  But for those of us who appreciate minimal packaging, it can sometimes feel like over kill.”
Gina:  “And because there is no vibration with this pleasure object, there’s no fussing with batteries or dubious recharge ports.  Besides, I like the fact that I can be the instrument of my own bliss.”
Kevin:  “It’s made of 100% seamless silicone.  It is soft and velvety and beautiful to the touch.  It’s approximately 7.25 inches long and 1.5 inches across at the widest point.  Like Gina mentioned, ELLA can be inserted using either end.  The curved tip is just like the GIGI.  I LOVE IT!
Gina:  “Because it is silicone, it cleans up is easy with mild soap and warm water.   You can wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with hydrogen peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.  If you’re going to share this toy, and I really think you should, you can serialize it in boiling water for a minute or two, or pop it in the top shelf of the dishwasher.”
Kevin:  “I totally agree that you ought to share this toy.  We all have a ‘spot’ of one sort or another — G or P, that is.  Just insert the curved tip about two inches into your pussy or asshole, as the case may be, with the curve pointed towards the front of your body and rock the handle up and down.  Oh baby, oh baby!”
Gina:  “Kevin does not exaggerate.  This is what I meant when I said I like being the instrument of my own bliss.”
Kevin:  “If you’re more of a dildo kinda person, the other, long tapered end of ELLA will put a smile on your face.”
Gina:  “Use it on yourself for solo play; use it on your partner for partnered play.”
Kevin:  “And it’s not just a pleasure object; it’s also a therapeutic object.  You can use this honey to do your Kegels with too.  And all of us, men and women need to do those.”
Gina:  “Of course, you can use only water-based lube with this beauty.  And when you’re finished diddling yourself and/or your partner clean it and store it in the satin pouch thoughtfully provided by the good people at LELO.”
Kevin:  “This is one of the more affordable LELO products.  Beautiful styling and superior quality for under fifty bucks.  You can’t beat that with a stick!”

Next up is BOB.  We turn to Brad for his thoughts.

BOB —— $49.00

Brad
Hey, isn’t BOB and acronym for Big Old Bottom?  That’s what Dr Dick keeps calling me!  So ok, I’m a straight guy with a thing for his prostate.  For years I couldn’t admit this to myself, let alone others.  But nowadays I’m an out and proud butt pirate.

And as a personal trainer, I often find myself talking to my male clients about prostate health.  Apparently, my straight clients find that information easier to take because I’m straight too.  And I’ve been telling them about my BOB, you can count on that.

Anyhow, I’m like totally down with BOB, this stylish gentleman’s butt plug.  If you’ve cat_bob_bordeaux_320_320-1never tried a plug, this is the ideal starter size.  It’s about 3” of insertable length and not much thicker than my thumb.  It is easy to insert, even for the novice.  And because its “plug” shaped it stays in place once inserted.  BTW, you’ll want to use a water-based lube with this 100% silicone toy.

BOB is so comfortable, as well as being very stimulating, so you can wear it for hours.  I do.  People often ask me why I smile so much and why am so easy going.  If they only knew I had BOB in my ass!  I absolutely love saying that.

BOB has this ring on its base; this keeps it from going in too far and makes pulling it out of your ass a breeze.  If you really want to treat yourself to a nice prostate massage, all ya do is use the ring to make thrusting and rocking motions.  I can actually cum by massaging my prostate like this.  I don’t even have to touch my dick.

LELO makes BOB affordable; it’s under $50.  But you still get all the special LELO touches, like beautiful packaging and even a little satin pouch for safe keeping, when it’s not up your bum.  Because it’s silicone its easy to clean with mild soap and warm water.  You can wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.  You can serialize it in boiling water for a minute or two, or pop it in the dishwasher.

Dudes, if you still think that ass play, even by yourself is like all gay and stuff, you are totally missing out.  Get a BOB and find out what I mean.  And you’ll be on your way to some fine pleasure as well as some serious prostate health.

Finally there’s LUNA BEADS and for that review we turn to Joy & Dixie

LUNA BEADS —— $47.00

Joy & Dixie
Joy:  “We’re glad to be back with everyone after having a couple months off.  We were on an extended holiday and we missed all our toys at home while we were away.”
Dixie:  “That’s not exactly true, we did take a couple of our favorite toys with us.  One new one that we well talk about at another time, and the other was our delightful LUNA BEADS.  They are very discreet and easy to pack. And they are both pleasurable and therapeutic.”
Joy:  “LUNA BEADS are LELO’s take on a very old idea, Ben Wa Balls.  You’ve heard of Luna_beads_mv2them, right?  They were invented hundreds of years ago, to enhance female sexual stimulation and to exercise a woman’s PC muscles (pubococcygeus muscle). In other words, you do your Kegel exercises with these puppies.
Dixie:  “Here’s a tip; the more Kegels you do, the more intense your orgasms are.”
Joy:  “You simply insert the LUNA BEADS, each of which has an inner ball that creates the most amazing vibration sensation.”
Dixie:  “The kit comes with two sets of silicone balls that pop in and out of a plastic girdle – one set is close to 30 grams and the other set is around 40 grams.”
Joy:  “You can mix and match the weighted balls to build up your PC muscles. And you can wear these for hours, if you’d like.  I know I like!”
Dixie:  “Being made of silicone they are easy to sterilize, which makes the LUNA BEADS shareable.  But for under $50 you may want your own set.”
Joy:  “Dixie and I both like to masturbate with the LUNA BEADS.  They deliver intense orgasms, because your muscles contract around the vibrating balls.”
Dixie:  “You can say that again.  And there’s never a need to change batteries or wait for a recharge.  You can see why we took the LUNA BEADS on our vacation.”
Joy:  “We completely endorse this product.  They are both fun and healthful.  We’ll never leave home without them.”
Dixie:  “Given all the very expensive toys out there, including several of the other LELO products, one can’t go wrong plunking down your hard-earned money for a set of these.”
Joy:  “Our friend, Karen, is about to give birth to her first child.  We’re going to give her LUNA BEADS at the baby shower.  No mother should be without!”

ENJOY!