Sex Toy Review – DR DICK SEX ADVICE

January 3, 2011June 8, 2026

A New Year of Q&A — Podcast #252 — 01/03/11

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

We’re BAACK, and it’s a brand new year! Did ya’ll have a brilliant holiday season? I sure hope so. And while I really enjoyed my brief winter break from podcasting, I’m eager to get back at it, don’t cha know. During these last two weeks of relative down time, I’ve been busy lining up an amazing array of outstanding guests who will make 2011 another banner year of interviews and conversations.

But today we break open the new year with some hot Q&A action. We haven’t had one of these kinds of shows since mid October. So that means my inbox is overflowing. I also have the pleasure of announcing The Dr Dick Review Crew’s Favorite Products of 2010 list.

Today we hear from:

Josiah is having a problem coming out, because his family is super religious.
Donna is my kind of perv. She’s into BDSM, but she’s also disabled.
The Powerchair Pimp is sick and tired of being a virgin.
Arthur wants to hook up with older dudes.
Stacy may have orgasmic related migraines.

The Dr Dick Review Crew’s Favorite Products of 2010

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

March 20, 2009July 1, 2026

Luscious LELO, Part 1

Hey sex fans,

The Dr Dick Review Crew has been in a complete tizzy lately. Even these hardened veterans of the adult product review trenches were totally gaga when I put out the word that I had a slew of LELO products to review. Everyone on the crew couldn’t wait to get their grubby little hands all over these top of the line sex toys…I mean Pleasure Objects.

That”s right, sex fans, LELO not only reinvented the sex toy; they’ve evolved it into an object of pleasure. And trust me, it’s not just semantics. LELO products are indeed in a class of their own.

The Dr Dick Review Crew will be spending several weeks putting the LELO line through its paces. Whatever you do, don’t miss a single installment!

Today, we feature the G-spot LELO Pleasure Object — GIGI.

Review Crew members, Gina & Kevin, do the honors

GIGI $109

Gina: “I’ve been salivating over the LELO line for ages. I’ve seen them online, in magazine ads and I’ve even handled a couple of them at Babeland, Seattle. But I never expected to actually own one.”
Kevin: “I’m totally blown away too. These babies are stunning.”
Gina: “I never thought I’d own a LELO because they are kinda pricey. But after using GIGI for a few weeks I can say that they are worth every cent. First off, they are rechargeable; so right away you save on the cost of battery replacement. Which, to my mind, not only makes LELO price competitive, but a bargain in the long run.”
Kevin: “GIGI is a sensual work of art; it’s creatively innovative and it is GREEN! Anyone who reads our reviews on a regular basis knows that the Review Crew gives extra points for toys that are rechargeable.”
Gina: “GREEN is IN, fellow consumers!”
Kevin: “Also anyone who reads our reviews on a regular basis knows that I am like totally into my ass and prostate. I know that GIGI is marketed exclusively as a G-spot vibe, but I’m here to tell you (and the LELO people) that GIGI is dyn-O-mite on a dude’s P-spot too.”
Gina: “Kevin knows of what he speaks! Over the last year or so we’ve tried numerous insertables in his butt. Most were packaged as “women only” toys, but we didn’t care.”
Kevin: “I think toy producers are missing a load of crossover sales opportunities because they often focus on a specific gender in advertising. I mean Gina and I totally turned the WE-Vibe marketing concept on its head in our review (#13).”
Gina: “GIGI is made from medical grade s ilicone, which give s it a velvety feel that is deliciously soft and warm. It has approximately 10cm of insertable length and the G-spot (or in this P-spot) flat and slanted tip has a circumference of 10.5cm. It takes about 2 hours to fully charge this thing. Unlike other rechargeable toys, you’ll know it’s fully charged when the light in the handle goes from flashing to a solid light. And a full charge will give you at least an hour and a half of amazing vibration.”
Kevin: “The power and adjust button is in the ergonomic handle. GIGI has 5 modes of vibration with 4 speed settings. It’s amazingly powerful for such a little thing. So you can knock yourself out in more ways than one. It’s also super quiet. This thing has quality written all over it.”
Gina: “There was a time, not to long ago, that I would have been too embarrassed to watch Kevin pleasure himself. I thought masturbation, especially if it involved him inserting something into his bum, was something he should do privately. I can’t believe how uptight I once was.”
Kevin: “It was a struggle to break down some of her preconceived ideas about sex in general and masturbation in particular. But she’s totally into it now, I’m happy to report. And we’ve learned so much about pleasuring one another from watching each other pleasure ourselves.”
Gina: “I now absolutely love watching Kevin work his butt. It is such a turn on for me. He always gets the hardest erections when he’s stimulating his prostate. And he always shoots a giant load too. I often find myself sitting back with my own Pleasure Object and trying to keep pace with Kevin.”
Kevin: “If the truth be know, Gina has, on several occasions, jumped on my raging boner when I’m fuckin my ass with a dildo. I think it’s great that she feels free to take control.”
Gina: “It’s true, I can often barely contain myself.”
Kevin: “My first time with GIGI was fantastic. I lubed it up. (Water based lube only with a fine silicone toy like this.) And nuzzled the flattened and slanted head against my hole. I worked the vibe options, getting a feel for where this baby was gonna take me. With only a little effort on my part the uniquely shaped head disappeared in my ass and hit home directly on my prostate. The flat slanted tip connected with my P-spot and made my eyes roll back in my head with pleasure. It’s like it was made for this purpose. I mean, how many guys are doing without GIGI thinking it’s only for girls?”
Gina: “Like a butt-plug, GIGI stays in place. When Kevin let go of the vibe to stroke his penis and stretch his scrotum, I reached over and took hold. This startled him out of his revelry, but the gentle rocking motion I added as well as the change in pulsation made him buck and groan. He is the most sexually expressive man I’ve ever known.”
Kevin: “Gina pretends she’s still a shy and retiring catholic school girl when it comes to ass play, but this girl knows how to ramp thing up down there. She denied me the orgasm I was aching for. She forbid me to touch my cock and balls while she worked my ass with GIGI. She took hold of my nuts and started to slap them, lightly at first, then she really let me have it. Yanking on my sack stretched the skin on my dick shaft and made my cock stick out perpendicular to my belly. I was lovin’ it, big time.”
Gina: “Like I’ve mentioned before, I’ve developed into quite a little dominatrix; something I would never have discovered in myself had it not been for Kevin and his promptings.”
Kevin: “I love it when she’s the Dom; it’s such a turn on. I clamped down on GIGI using my PC muscles, like if I was doing my Kegel exercises. Intense vibrations filled my groin then moved up to my navel.”
Gina: “I let go of GIGI, because I knew it would stay in place in Kevin’s butt and straddled his hips in a reverse cowgirl position. This way I was able to continue to pull on his testicles while rubbing his penis all over my vaginal lips and clit. I could even feel GIGI’s vibration in my pelvis. It was so hot!”
Kevin: “I begged for release, the vibration intensity increased with Gina sitting on my lower abdomen. I could hardly stand it. She was rocking back and forth, my dick head barley entering her pussy.”
Gina: “I came twice in rapid succession, then had mercy on my poor butt-boy Kevin. I just touched the underside of his penis with one hand and sperm shot out of him like a canon. He made this incredible animal noise and thrashed beneath me. This brought me to climax one more time and then I slid off him.”
Kevin: “I swear I came so hard it was time to notify the next of kin.”
Gina: “I would have my turn with GIGI the very next day. Basically Kevin and I changed positions. I began to pleasure myself with the vibe; first outside my vagina, then inside. Kevin insisted that I surrender myself to him, as he did to me. And master that he is, he orally pleasured me while he altered the GIGI pulsations on my G-spot. I was over the top in a matter of a couple minutes.”
Kevin: “It’s so much fun sharing our toys. We play really well together.”
Gina: “Because silicone products are nonporous and hypoallergenic, care and cleaning are a snap. For everyday cleanup a mild soap and water wash is fine. However, if you’re gonna share your toys sterilizing is recommended. You can swish the silicone end of GIGI in a pot of boiling water for a couple minutes, dry it off and then it’s ready to go. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.”
Kevin: “I absolutely love GIGI. I love how LELO takes the lead in the whole industry with superior quality and stunning designs. The only reservation I have with the whole LELO gestalt is the excessive packaging. Don’t get me wrong; the packaging is beautiful, but there’s just so much of it.”
Gina: “It’s true; the packaging does undercut LELO’s GREEN profile a bit. But maybe they believe that in the case of their product line and price point, luxury, including the presentation, is essential. I mean GIGI even comes with a sweet satin carrying pouch. They’ve thought of everything!”
Kevin: “I concede LELO is trying to capture the high-end market, and maybe this indulgence with presentation helps make their case. However, in the end it’s the product itself, not the packaging that’ll make a brand’s name. And in this case LELO is without peer.
Gina: “Undoubtedly, GIGI costs a bit more, but it is sooo worth it.”

ENJOY

Be sure to look for more LELO reviews in weeks to come.

March 13, 2009July 1, 2026

Totally Wacky

Sex Fans,

The Dr Dick Review Crew has something totally wacky for ya today. It’s a WhackSock! Say WHAT? You heard me; a WhackSock. It’s a sock ya wear on your cock when ya wank. How fun is that? I guess it’s intended to keep your spooge off the furniture, don’t’ cha know.

This week’s Review Crew:

Glenn & Hank

WhackSock 6 pack $9.99

Glenn: “I got this huge smile on my face today, because I had a flashback to when I was a kid. I started masturbating when I was 11, but nothing came out till I was almost 13. Before I was able to ejaculate I could cum multiple time in one session. But once I started to shoot a wad when I wanked I could only cum once per session. Actually, I only had to wait a few minutes before I could resume my diddling.”
Hank: “I think they call that the ‘refactory period’. It’s part of a male’s sexual response cycle.”
Glenn: “Yeah, I know that! So as I was saying, before Professor Bingo over here interrupted me, I was surprised as all get out when I shot my first spunk. I thought I had injured myself. Since I was totally unprepared for the eruption I had to do something with the evidence ASAP. My mother would soon round the corner and come barging into my room.”
Hank: “Did she bust you spankin’ the monkey?”
Glenn: “Not that time, I’m happy to say! It took some quick thinkin on my part. But I discovered that ya could hide your boy juice in a dirty sock, and your old lady wouldn’t be the wiser.”
Hank: “Damn, you’re clever! I’d be willing to bet the just about every guy on the planet has dropped a load into a sock at one point or another.”
Glenn: “Yeah, it’s probably something in our DNA, huh? So anyway, that’s why I had to laugh when Dr Dick asked us to review the WhackSock. My masturbation-obsessed youth came flooding back to me.”
Hank: “I know, I used to discard the socks I busted a nut in. I was afraid my mom would find me out. This, of course, backfired one day when my ever-vigilant mother uncovered a tangle of crusty socks in the trash. It didn’t take her long to put two and two together. This precipitated the big ‘sex talk’ with mommy that make my skin crawl. I was also marched off to confession to tell the priest about my disgusting and sinful behavior.”
Glenn: “I’ll bet the priest got off on that, huh?”
Hank: “Probably! I was a strappin’ young lad of over 6’ tall with ragin’ hormones and an unruly big dick. I was hung over 8” when I was just 15. It was so embarrassing, because I used to pop wood at the drop of a hat. I though having a big, precum drippon’ dick was a curse.”
Glenn: “Glad you got over that, cuz I love your one-eyed monster. But we digress! Let’s get back to the WhackSock. It’s a specifically designed cottony sock made for male masturbation. At least that’s what it says on the WhackSock site.”
Hank: “Yep, it’s basically a tubesox; no bigger than what a young kid might wear on his feet. But it does stretch.”
Glenn: “And that’s where the fun began for us. Hank and I went to a costume party last month and our costumes consisted of a WhackSock and nothing more. Hank’s trouser snake was the life of the party, literally and figuratively.”
Hank: “The stretchy cotton material could barely contain my johnson, so to speak.”
Glenn: “And it was all over when he got a boner! I loved it. I got to tell everyone that I am the lucky man that gets to have that hog up my ass whenever I want it. Tell me that didn’t make me the envy of all the queens at the party.”
Hank: “When we got home from the party, we both blissfully beat off into our WhackSock, just like god intended.”
Glenn: “The WhackSock makes the perfect gag gift. Imagine how this little number will crack up the party. And you know for certain that there will always be at least one dude in the crowd that will want to put it on his pecker, right then and there. Or you could get a bunch of WhackSocks and have a WhackSock party. All attendees must wear a WhackSock and nuttin’ else. It’ll be a freakin’ orgy in no time at all.”
Hank: “And it feels real good goin up and down my shaft. It’s almost like having a lubed hand. And your WhackSock is like totally reusable. It’s like having a form-fitting trick towel.”
Glenn: “Be the first one on your block to own a pair (or 6) of these.”

ENJOY

February 20, 2009July 1, 2026

Swingtime!

REVIEW #32

Hey sex fans!

I have two more outstanding DVD reviews for you. My Three Way
and Amazing Sex For Women.

On several occasions I’ve called my audience’s attention to the fantastic video work my friend and colleague, Dr Michael Perry, is been doing over at AIM (Access Instructional Media). And for good reason too, because Michael is a master of the sexual enrichment genre. (See REVIEW #7 below.)

As an aside, Michael was my guest for a couple of podcasts chats — #61 and #62. During our conversation, Michael discusses his work and the astounding success he is having with his video line. Be sure to check out these podcasts.

Just for the record, Michael’s DVDs knock me out. In terms of sex education and sexual enrichment the AIM titles are unparalleled.

Let’s take a look at each of these DVDs each in turn.

We start with My Three Way — Approx 120 minutes $19.95

The promotional copy on the DVD box reads: “How is it possible for couples to bring a third person into their intimate relationship? Many have thought about it. Lots of people fantasize about it. Some couples are actually practitioners in Open Relationship lifestyles.
• Find out why couples do it.
• See what they dare to do…to supercharge their relationship!
• Be tempted to arrange your own three way…at least in your fantasies!

The DVD begins with a quick overview of the entire Intimacy Guide Series.

First off, we meet couple #1 in a cocktail lounge gettin all lovey-dovey. Another woman, an acquaintance of the male partner winds up getting involved. (Surprise!) Before things get all hot and heavy though there is a brief spliced-in interview with the couple about why and how they do what they do. Curiously enough, this is not a distraction from the action, but it actually adds to the story telling. What follows is a beautiful 2-gal and 1-guy 3-way. The sexual interaction in this piece is nicely shared between all the players, including gal-on-gal play.

There’s another interview snippet followed by a sweet gal-on-gal segment.

This is followed by yet another brief interview segment and a very sexy 2-guy and 1-gal 3-way. All the sexual interaction in this piece is focused on the woman; the men do not interact sexually. This may appeal to some, but it will be disappointing to others.

There is a bonus featurette on this DVD called My Birthday Surprise, which is another fine example of a 2-gal and 1-guy 3-way.

There is ample and diverse sexual expression in all the scenes. And there is some nice use of sex toys too, which really adds to the production.

This is a wonderful primer on the ins and outs (no pun intended) of initiating and successfully executing a 3-way. Like the promotional copy on the box suggests, if you are actually looking to open your relationship to include a 3rd or just think the 3-way idea is hot fantasy material, this is the DVD for you.

Here’s a tip: for those of you who can’t, for whatever reason, buy this DVD you can rent it HERE for viewing online in Dr Dick’s How To Video Library.

Remember, this is not porn. While the content is sexually explicit, the material is presented in a tasteful and romantic manner. Kudos to Michael Perry for producing this delightful and informative female oriented video.

Next we have — Amazing Sex For Women — 90 minutes $19.95

The promotional copy on the DVD box reads: “The Bonk’er Spring is a truly revolutionary sex toy invented with the women’s pleasure in mind. This video shows you sex techniques not possible with any other sex gear. See our fun loving couples bounce weightlessly towards powerful orgasm after orgasm!”

What we have here is basically an infomercial for a rather amazing sex innovation from Bonkum, a company that develops sex furniture. It’s part spring, part swing and part sling. Try to say that three times fast!

With the help of a few adventuresome couples (and a 2-gal, one guy threesome) this video shows how easy and enjoyable it is to have a very athletic and versatile sex life. The Bonkum swing is really interesting and amazingly adaptable. Makes creative sex play not only enjoyable, but also effortless.

This video is full of wonderful eye candy of the heterosexual variety. Too bad there’s not any man on man action to please the rest of us. (Perhaps that will happen in another video.) But there is a very nice light BDSM scene that will get your motor racing.

For those of you who can’t buy this DVD, for whatever reason, you can rent it HERE for viewing online in Dr Dick’s How To Video Library.

Again, I want to emphasize something about all the AIM titles. Each is very sexy and sensual; most are sexually explicit; but none of them can rightly be called porn. This is an important distinction, because the tone and focus of the AIM titles is completely different from the tone and focus of porn. And even people who are put off by the notion of porn will have no objection to these videos.

ENJOY!

February 6, 2009July 1, 2026

Tickle Me Ophoria – Bliss No. 5

REVIEW #31

Hey sex fans,

Today we have a swell, 100% pure silicone vibrator from the good people at Ophoria Toys.

Joy and Dixie do the honors.

Joy & Dixie — Reviews #6, 12, 16, 17, 18, 23, 27, 28

Ophoria Bliss #5 —— $60.00

Joy: “Here we have a very nice high-end vibe. It’s your standard issue bullet shape — straight and smooth. There are no ruffles or ridges, so to speak.”
Dixie: “There are no twists or turns, either. And I’m partial to at least some texture to my insertables. Give me some bumps or ribs for goddess sake.”
Joy: “I’m with Dixie on that. But we both know that some gals prefer their pleasure wands to be a more conventional shape and texture. And if you are one such gal, then you’ll love Ophoria Bliss #5 a lot.”
Dixie: “It’s just short of 8” in length and just over an inch and a half at its thickest.”
Joy: “The velvety smooth skin is 100% pure Japanese silicone, which is like totally top of the line. When you buy quality like this you can be assured that it will be phthalate-free and hypoallergenic too. So you can’t go wrong there.”
Dixie: “The very best thing about Ophoria Bliss #5 is it has five vibration modes and it is super quiet. And that too signifies quality to me.
Joy: “So here I was all ready to take a bath with my new friend. I mean who among us doesn’t love a little thrill in the tub, right? Well, good thing I read the fine print. Ophoria Bliss #5 is splash proof, not waterproof. Oh ok! That was close.”
Dixie: “I guess that means there isn’t a watertight seal on the battery compartment. See how it pays to read the instructions before ya take your new toys for a ride.”
Joy: “Speaking of taking your first ride; be warned, the first set of batteries are not included in the package. As you all know, this is a pet peeve for all the Dr Dick Review Crew. Would it kill the manufacturers to supply the first set of batteries? We all think that would show you really care about your customers.”
Dixie: “That’s for damn sure! And while we’re on this subject of batteries; a word to the Ophoria Toy people. Folks, you don’t say what size battery is needed for your product on its box. That’s a bit of a marketing faux pas, wouldn’t you say? I mean, if I had to stock up on batteries for this baby when I was making the purchase; how would I know what size to buy?
Joy: “Not including batteries is one thing, but making your customers guess the battery size needed is another thing all together. As it turns out, the Ophoria Bliss #5 takes two double-A batteries.
Dixie: “I did like the simple one button operation, which toggles through the 5 pulse patterns. And pleasurable patterns they are too! Oh and you should know that instead of having to rotate through all the patterns to get to the “off” position, like most multi-speed vibes; on the Ophoria Bliss #5 all you have to do is hold the button down to turn it off. I like that.”
Joy: “Like all fine silicone toys, you can only use a water-based lube with this toy. But you know that already, huh?”
Dixie: “Clean up is easy with mild soap and warm water. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.”
Joy: “I sure hope the Ophoria Toy people send us some of their other products. I would love to get my hands on one or both of their Rapture Probes.”
Dixie: “Or how about Bliss #8, #12 or #3! And don’t the K-Balls look yummy? I want me some of them.”
Joy: “And I know several boys on the Review Crew who would love to review a Beyond #3. It says it’s for G-spot stimulation, but I’ll wager it’s just as delicious on a guy’s P-spot.”

ENJOY!

January 30, 2009July 1, 2026

A BEAUTYFUL HANDFUL – Goldfrau

REVIEW #30

Hey sex fans,

Today we have something extraordinary indeed.

Over the last several months The Dr Dick Review Crew has had the pleasure of reviewing several exquisite high-end insertables made from some surprising materials. Among them — Pyrex glass, medical grade silicone, wood and even aircraft-quality spun aluminum. Besides being fun and functional; each and every one of these lovelies is also an exceptional work of art. Today we add porcelain to that list of exceptional materials.

Gina & Kevin — Reviews #4, 13, 16, 17, 18, 23, 24, 27. 28

Goldfrau — Miss Pink $240

Gina: “If I were to try to design the perfect dildo, I couldn’t do better than this Australian company has done with their signature product — Goldfrau. It’s simply perfect and perfectly simple. It’s delightfully sensual; it’s beautiful art; it’s creatively innovative and it is GREEN! I know I’m gushing, but my Goldfrau is stunning.”
Kevin: “Gina’s right; I’m blown away too.”
Gina: “I admit, at first I was a little skeptical. Porcelain is ceramic, of course, and all I could think of was how fragile that would make it. I had the vision of a fine porcelain doll in mind. I was oh so wrong. After a little research, I discovered that stoneware ceramics, like this, are exceptionally durable and versatile. There are ceramic knives, ceramic engines parts and the space shuttle’s exterior is made of ceramic tiles.”
Kevin: “The ceramic used in crafting the Goldfrau will not chip, crack, or break under normal use. And you’re gonna want to treat this baby with loving care, not because it’s fragile, but because it is a stunning work of art”
Gina: “Check this out! The Goldfrau comes wrapped in this handsome lined soft leather pouch that just screams elegance. The Miss Pink Goldfrau I have is cream-colored porcelain with an intricate lavender lace pattern on it. The shaft is absolutely smooth and it’s just a tad short of 9″ long. It has a real nice heft to it too; nearly 10 ounces.”
Kevin: “It’s shaped like a baseball bat with a rounded handle, which makes for easy handling even when lubed. We discovered that a little lube went a very long way. And you can use any type of lube you want with this porcelain beauty.”
Gina: “Here’s a really neat feature I discovered. Despite the straight shaft, the Goldfrau is perfect for G-spot stimulation. It’s odd, because most of the other G-spot stimulators I’ve seen or used have a curve to them. The Goldfrau does not.”
Kevin: “Yeah, I feel confident using this thing on Gina without fear of injuring her. Those curved dildos can sometime get turned around in her pussy and when the curve is pointing opposite to the G-spot that can hurt.”
Gina: “I also really like the fact that I can warm and chill the Goldfrau to suit my mood. It’s very easy to do. You can chill it in the refrigerator for a few minutes or warm it by running hot water over it.”
Kevin: “And it changes temperature very quickly. So get this, one evening I blindfolded Gina and restrained her spread-eagle on the bed. I had a bowl of ice water and a bowl of hot water next to the bed. I teased and tormented her clit and pussy with surprises in varying temperatures. She got so wet I had to get down on all fours and lapped up all her sweet juices. And you can use either end of the Goldfrau for wicked pleasure”
Gina: “I have to admit, not knowing what was coming next — cold or hot drove me wild. I was so totally turned on. And I don’t think I ever lubricated that much in my life. My man knows how to push my buttons.”
Kevin: “While we were doing this hot/cold thing I made up a story about an beautiful Chinese princess who had been abducted by a cruel warlord and was being tortured into submission. The warlord would fuck the princess wildly with an exquisite…wait for it…ancient porcelain dildo.”
Gina: “As you can see, Kevin’s been reading too much erotica. But I did love his story. And being blindfolded and restrained only intensified the experience.”
Kevin: “Hey, there’s no such thing as too much erotica.”
Gina: “You’re right, hon; you can tell me dirty stories anytime. Just make sure the Goldfrau is near at hand. I also want to mention that the Goldfrau, I guess because of its heft, fills me up more than it’s girth would suggest.”
Kevin: “Ya know what? I think the Goldfrau people should work on developing a similar porcelain toy just for us ass-centric men. I mean a guy could use one of these on himself to great effect. I’m just thinking something more along the lines of a hefty porcelain butt plug would totally rock.”
Gina: “Clean up is easy with mild soap and warm water. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too. You can serialize it in boiling water for a minute or two, or pop it in the dishwasher with all your other fine china.”
Kevin: “Guys, if you want to show your Valentine just how special she is; the Goldfrau is the idea gift. It’s a little pricey, but you know your gal is worth it. Besides, you’ll not find its equal anywhere else.”
Gina: “And gals, if you buy only one new pleasure instrument this year; make sure it is a Goldfrau. You will forever thank me for this tip; I promise.”

ENJOY

January 23, 2009July 1, 2026

A Thrill A Minute

REVIEW #29

Sex Fans,

The Dr Dick Review Crew is BACK! We’re all rested and relaxed and ready to tackle whatever cums our way.

We begin 2009 with a bang. We have three vibes from Synergy Erotic. They’re a relatively new company with a wonderful corporate philosophy, which includes everything from quality manufacturing to subtle yet effective packaging. Good for them!

This week’s Review Crew includes:
Angie — Reviews #12, 16, 26
Glenn & Hank — Reviews #4, 16, 17, 18, 23. 24, 27
Jada — Reviews #14, 16, 20

Luscious Thrill-Her, Lavender $18.99

Angie:
This is a sweet and petite personal vibrator (5 1/2 inch long and 1 1/2 inch in diameter). It features a small diameter, which is ideal for the novice user. Luscious Thrill-Her is perfect for both anal stimulation and vaginal stimulation. It has a solid vibrator core that is encased in a sensual outer skin made of a product called Ultra-Gelle. It is soft, pliable and very comfortable to use.

I tried to do a little behind the scenes sleuthing to ferret-out what this Ultra-Gelle is composed of, but I wasn’t successful. I am generally wary of new materials that might contain hazardous or allergenic materials. I was delighted to see that Ultra-Gelle is Phthalate free. Thank you for that! It says so right on the package, which is good for marketing. I always look for that designation on any soft material, like Ultra-Gelle. And so should you; especially if the toy is intended for insertion. I am unable to say if Ultra-Gelle is latex-free or not. If you have a latex allergy, you might contact the manufacturer for more information before you buy. That’s always the safest bet.

Luscious Thrill-Her has several features I like very much. First, it is waterproof, so it’s great to use in the bath. It also has a rheostat type speed adjustment that allows one to vary the vibration. This toy should only be used with water-based lube, however.

Clean up is easy; mild soap and warm water does just fine. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.

Luscious Thrill-Her runs on 2 ‘AAA’ Batteries, but the first set of batteries is not included in the package. This is a pet peeve for everyone on Dr Dick’s Review Crew. We feel as though no one should be creating battery-operated toys without including the first set of batteries in the package.

Luscious Thrill-Her comes in several fetching colors. I confidently recommend this petite insertable.”

Squirmy Touch-Me, Lavender $24.99

Glenn & Hank

Glenn: “Hey, ya wanna see my pink penis?”
Hank: “Actually, it’s lavender, dude; not pink.”
Glenn: “Oh, ok! Hey, ya wanna see my lavender penis?”
Hank: “Why are you always so wacky?”
Glenn: “Ahhh, because god made me that way? Besides, were talking about toys, aren’t we? That call for a little levity, right?” 😉

Hank: “Alright then, let’s have it your way. So Glenn, why don’t you show us your pretty new lavender penis.”
Glenn: “Maybe I will. Squirmy Touch-Me is 8 1/2 inch of vibrating cock. It even looks like a cock. And when I’m buggerin’ myself, or having someone else cornholein’ me; I like the weapon of ass-destruction to look like a cock, OK? I’m old fashioned that way. If you don’t like your toys to look like a wang; that’s fine with me. But I do; so there! And check this out; Squirmy Touch-Me has a flexible shaft that bends then holds its shape. I absolutely love it!”
Hank: “Squirmy Touch-Me has this very interesting articulated spine so that the vibrating tip reaches your prostate (or G-spot) each and every time. Then it does a little dance that’ll really put a smile on your face.”
Glenn: “It has the same Ultra-Gelle skin, as the product Angie showed you earlier. I like the feel of it in my hands, but even more so up my ass.”
Hank: “The same cleaning instructions that Angie gave you apply to the Squirmy Touch-Me, so I won’t repeat them. But I do want to emphasize the water-based lube precaution. You wouldn’t want to mess up this toy with a silicone-based or oil-based lube.”
Glenn: “It’s waterproof, which I really love. Rammin’ this baby home in the shower in the morning makes the perfect start to each and every day. Oh, and it two speeds — yummy and even more yummier.”
Hank: “We want to second what Angie said about the batteries. When we’re faced with a choice of toys of equal worth; one with batteries in the package and one without; we always choose the one with batteries. We want to support the companies who are going the extra mile.”
Glenn: “Considering the price of this puppy, it’s a great starter vibrating dildo for anyone lookin for a little Gelle fun.”

Vibe-Me Massager, Luster Blue $11.99

Jada
Isn’t this a beauty? It’s so shiny and sleek. It looks like it’s made of metal, but it’s not. The Vibe-Me Massager is an 8-inch hard plastic bodied waterproof vibrator. There’s nothing soft of squishy here. It contains a powerful motor, yet it is very quiet. I really appreciate that. I hate it when toys are loud enough to wake the dead.

The Vibe-Me Massager has several features I liked very much. Like the two other vibes that we are featuring today, mine is also waterproof. Angie, Glenn and I agree that a waterproof vibe is so convenient to use when one is already naked…like in the bath. It also has a rheostat type speed adjustment that allows one to vary the vibration, just like the one Angie showed you.

Because the Vibe-Me Massager is non-porous, you can use any sort of personal lube you’d like with this toy. I’m partial to silicone-based lube, so that’s what I use. But water-based lube works equally well. The Vibe-Me Massager will stay slick either way.

Clean up is easy — mild soap and warm water works fine. But you can sanitize more fully with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution. This is a highly recommended procedure if you will be sharing your toys.

The bullet shape makes insertion effortless. And I must say I love the metallic blue color, it’s so pretty.

Unlike my friend Glenn here, I have a preference for a less penis identifiable shape to my dildos. So does my husband. I’m sure I would feel the same way he does if I were a man using an insertable on a woman. Who needs the obvious comparison between the dildo and the real thing?

And just to make it unanimous, I concur with everyone else on the battery issue.”

ENJOY!

December 12, 2008July 1, 2026

Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen…and Gentlewomen

REVIEW #28

Hey sex fans,

It’s Week 4, and the final week, of our Holiday Extravaganza. Did you somehow miss Week 1, 2 or 3 of this lollapalooza? Shame on you! Check out Reviews #25, 26 and 27. You’ll be so glad ya did.

The Dr Dick Review Crew has been workin’ overtime gettin you these reviews and now all our naughty parts are sore as all get out. Thank god this is the last week; we need a break, don’t cha know!

This week’s Review Crew include:

Jack & Karen — Reviews #17, 18, 25, 27
Joy & Dixie— Reviews #6, 12, 16, 17, 18, 23, 27
Glenn & Hank — Reviews #4, 16, 17, 18, 23. 24, 27
Gina & Kevin — Reviews #4, 13, 16, 17, 18, 23, 24, 27
Ken & Denise — Reviews #11, 16, 25
Jada — Reviews #14, 16, 20

First up Ken & Denise introduce us to a beautiful wooden insertable from Hans at Hardwood Dildos. I’m a big fan of Hans’. He is more than a craftsman; he’s an artist. He really knows his wood and his woodies! We have just this one dildo to review, but his site is virtually overflowing with ingenious designs. When you visit, be sure to tell him Dr Dick sent you.

Apple Wood Dildo $99

Ken: “I was hoping I would be one of the lucky chosen ones to review one of the great wooden dildos we’ve featured during our Holiday Extravaganza. I lucked out! Denise and I have a real beauty.”
Denise: “That is so true. Unfortunately, our Apple Wood Dildo doesn’t come already named, like the ones reviewed earlier in this series.”
Ken: “Well, it’s only unfortunate if you’re not clever enough to come up with name all on your own. I’ve christened ours Peter…for obvious reasons.”
Denise: “I stand corrected. Maybe I need to be punished. 😉
Ken: “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Just you wait till we get home, young lady!”
Denise: “Ohhh, Daddy!”
Ken: “We seem to be veering off topic. Back to our beautiful Hardwood Dildo. It is made of Apple wood, a fine-grained, dense wood, which has a very fair color, kinda like maple or cherry. Apparently, the wood comes from trees pruned in Oregon.”
Denise: “Hardwood Dildos is another brilliant GREEN northwest company; so hurray for that! It also has a very traditional shape to it. Unlike some of the other wooden insertables on the market, there is no denying this Apple Wood Dildo is a phallus. It’s 6.25″ x 1.6″/2.6″ with a luscious dickhead and a nice base for easy handling.”
Ken: “That phallus shape suits us just fine, huh honey?”
Denise: “You betcha! I’m real old fashioned gal that way. I love the way it feel in my pussy and my ass.”
Ken: “You can use all kinds of lube with this Hardwood Dildo. It warms nicely to your body very quickly too.”
Denise: “Wash with warm soapy water and dry thoroughly with a soft cloth and you’re done. You can wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.”
Ken: “I feel like I own a unique piece of art, because no two Hardwood Dildos are alike.”
Denise: “And anyone concerned about the finish on these dildos; oughtn’t worry. They get at least five coats of a food grade varnish called a Salad Bowl Finish.”
Ken: “If you are looking for wood (literally or figuratively) Hardwood Dildos is the place to shop.”
Denise: “I hope I find another one of these beauties under my tree this Christmas.”
Ken: “Maybe you could take your tree to Hans after the holidays and have him whip up a little something for you.”
Denise: “What a great idea! I wonder if he does requests. Happy Holidays everyone.”

Gina & Kevin introduce us to a couple of lovable toys for the big kid in all of us. These come from the good people at Big Teaze Toys. Dr Dick gives a bunch of extra points for the delightful names. You go Big Teaze!

I Rub My Duckie Bondage $25.99

Gina: “If a company can make me smile and make me cum at the same time, they win my heart. Now my heart belongs to Big Teaze. I Rub My Duckie Bondage is just one of the great Collector’s Series duckies available from Big Teaze Toys. You have to see the other! Makes me giggle just visiting the site.”
Kevin: “I got such a kick out of this. And speaking of kicks; this little bugger is mighty powerful.”
Gina: “Bondage Duckie has a permanent place in our bathroom. It is always in reach. There is nothing better than a waterproof vibe. I love to get off in the tub.”
Kevin: “It’s a real conversation piece too. It even comes with its own set of Duckie-sized handcuffs. What a hoot! Guests always comment on our fashionable BDSM Duckie. Little do they know.”
Gina: “When Kevin and I enjoy a soak together we never forget to invite Duckie. And you can use it several different ways. But I think you should find that out on your own.”
Kevin: “Batteries ARE included. So your first rides are free!”

I Rub My Wormie Pink Travel Size $22.99

Kevin: “The I Rub My Wormie we have is the travel sized one. That makes is a bit smaller than the regular size. It make an excellent butt plug.”
Gina: “Or Pussy plug! I Rub My Wormie has a, ergonomic bend in his neck to reach your G- or P-spot. It has an easy-grip body so he won’t wiggle out of your hands.”
Kevin: “Oh baby, Oh baby, you make me so hot!! Don’t forget the 3-speeds of vibration.”
Gina: “It actually is the perfect toy to travel with. Airport security will think you are carrying a baby’s toy. If they only knew.
Kevin: “All you health conscious consumers out there should know these toys are non-toxic, Phthalate-free, PVC-free and latex-free.”
Gina: “Sadly, I Rub My Wormie does not come with batteries. What’s up with that Big Teaze Toys? No one should be creating battery operated toys without including the fist set of batteries. It’s just wrong.
Kevin: “Gina and I agree these toys make ideal holiday gifts. Just make sure if you plan to give one of these as a gift that you buy the toy with the batteries, or include the batteries as part of your gift.”
Gina: “No one wants a toy that can’t be used right out of the package.”
Kevin: “Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from both of us.”
Gina: “And a Happy orgasm-filled New Year too!”

Now Jada gives us the finger, as it were. This is a clever first offering from a new Canadian company — Fun To Have.

Fun Finger $20.00

Jada: At first I thought this was some kind of gag. I mean Fun Finger looks like something you’d find on one of those prank websites. It’s basically a big golden thumb. Fun Finger is soft and flexible. It has a multi-speed vibrator that is adjusted on the base of the finger. It’s made in China of TPR (Thermoplastic Rubber), which is non-toxic, but anyone allergic to latex will not be able use this. I’m not a big fan of Chinese made products, especially nowadays, but this one seems harmless enough.

I did like the unique shape — the cocked thumb. It’s perfect for G-spot stimulation. I wouldn’t, however, recommend it for prostate stimulation. There’s nothing to hold on to at the base and it could easily slip in your bum and disappear. And that would very unpleasant indeed.

Fun Finger would make a fun stocking stuffer for the light-hearted person on your list.

Happy holidays everyone!

Our favorite perv Review Crew members — Joy & Dixie and Glenn & Hank tackle some very interesting devices from Rachel’s Pleasures.

G–Spotter $16.20

Joy & Dixie

Dixie: “This is our second go around with these sorts of products. Joy and I, Glenn and Hank and others did a whole series on some of the products from Sportsheets. You can find those reviews by searching for the word ‘Sportsheets’.”
Joy: “Dixie and I prefer Rachel’s product line to the other. For one thing, we found them more comfortable.”
Dixie: “I hope this doesn’t sound petty, but we also like Rachel’s packaging better. It’s more fun and it isn’t so blatantly heterosexual.”
Joy: “Basically, the G–Spotter is a device that one attaches to the bottom’s ankles so the top can maneuver the bottom’s legs with more ease. The bottom can hold the strap herself or the top can hold it and move it from side to side.”
Dixie: “I liked the Cumfy Cuffs. They are padded for comfort, quick release gismo that is real handy. The G–Spotter is also easily adjustable.”

Cumfy Cuffs And Cumfy Cuffs Extensions Kit $22.50

Glenn & Hank

Glenn: “Hank and I agree with Dixie. We also like Rachel’s packaging better than the Sportsheets packaging. I guess it’s a gay thing!”
Hank: “In fact, we liked everything about the Rachel’s line better. We agree with the gals, it’s a more comfortable setup”
Glenn: “Not that the bottom is supposed to be comfortable all the time. If ya catch my drift.”
Hank: “Yeah, but Rachel’s line of products, although practical and fully functional, is geared toward the bondage novice, wouldn’t you agree?”
Glenn: “Absolutely! But we all have to start somewhere.” 😉
Hank: “Do you know a budding kinkster? Maybe you’re one yourself.
Glenn: “Maybe you’d just like to know the thrill of relinquishing control for an itsy bitsy moment or two.”

Neoprene Harness $24.30

Joy & Dixie introduce us to the Neoprene Harness.

Joy: “Now this is something I can really sink my teeth into.”
Dixie: “What she means to say is ‘…sink a nice big dildo into’.”
Joy: “I loves me my strap-ons! I have quite a collection. Some are more comfortable than others, but I love ‘em all.”
Dixie: “I’m not as much of a connoisseur, as Joy, but this Neoprene Harness is very comfortable, I must say.”
Joy: “It is that! It is also reversible and machine washable. I love that part. I hate having to clean lube and whatnot off my leather harness.”
Dixie: “It’s also fully adjustable. It would have to be to fit both Joy and I. We have such different body types.”
Joy: “This is a really terrific start-out harness for the beginner. It’s inexpensive, yet practical. You just plug in the insertable of your choice (like the one that Ken & Denise showed us earlier) and then go fuck yourself some…whatever.”
Dixie: “Exactly! I’ve already told my ‘straight’ office mate about this. She’s gonna surprise her BF for X-mas.”
Joy: “You go, Danna!! Give it to him good.”
Dixie: “Thank you Dr Dick for a great year of products. We certainly look forward to the New Year and what it may bring.”
Joy: “Have a very sexy and sensual holiday season everyone. See ya in the New Year.”

Rachel’s Bed Spread (w/cuffs) $64.53

Glenn & Hank

Hank: “Now this is more like it! Rachel’s Bed Spread allows you can create a little bondage magic without the screw anchors and bolts in the ceiling and walls needed for more traditional bondage apparatus.”

Glenn: “I love being restrained spread eagle on the bed. I love relinquishing control to my partner(s) and being ravaged by him/them.”

Hank: “And now we can play like this our own bedroom, or take it on vacation with us.”

Glenn: “These two straps go around the mattress and allow us to attach wrist or ankle cuffs to the straps. The straps are adjustable fitting a twin up to a King Size bed

Hank: “Rachel’s Bed Spread is not the least be threatening. In fact, if you just wanna mess around with some power-play this is just the thing for you.”

Glenn: “But it also works for those of us who are a tad more hardcore.”

Hank: “And it’s a breeze to set up. It only took a few minutes.”

Glenn: “And it’s reasonably priced.”

Hank: “So if you are a rank amateur or a seasoned pro, you’ll have a great time testing your limits. We did!”

Glenn: “We think Rachel’s Pleasures rocks.”

Hank: “We both wish you a Merry Christmas and a very edgy New Year.”

So there ya have it, Sex Fans. We hope our Holiday Extravaganza provided you with lot of swell gift giving ideas. Look for more Product Reviews in the New Year.

December 5, 2008July 1, 2026

Fa la la la la, La la la la

REVIEW #27

Hey sex fans,

Holy mackerel! It’s Week 3 of our Holiday Extravaganza. Did you somehow miss Week 1 or 2 of this lollapalooza? Shame on you! Check out Reviews #25 and 26. You’ll be so glad ya did.

The Dr Dick Review Crew has our review apparatus workin’ overtime. We want to get as many reviews out there before the end of the year. Because we certainly don’t want to leave you hanging…as it were. This week, we have yet another hot juicy load of swell holiday gift giving ideas for you. And guess what? They are all GREEN.

This week’s Review Crew include:

Jack & Karen — Reviews #17, 18, 25

Joy & Dixie— Reviews #6, 12, 16, 17, 18, 23

Me, Dr Dick — Reviews #1 – 5, 7 – 10, 12, 14, 15, 19, 21, 25, 26

Glenn & Hank — Reviews #4, 16, 17, 18, 23. 24

Gina & Kevin — Reviews #4, 13, 16, 17, 18, 23, 24

First up we have two brilliant wooden insertables from my very good friends at Jildos; The Art You Love To Touch! Jildos are American made, hand-crafted works of art. They are produced by a company called: WoodPeckers Roost. Can you stand it? They are made from the most durable, safe materials available and they are GREEN, oh so GREEN.

Hart $69.00

Joy & Dixie

Joy: “I’ve had a hankerin’ for a wooden dildo for ages. I’ve admired them online and even held a few in my hands at our local sex emporium. But nothing compares to owing one and having it inside you.”
Dixie: “That is so true. Hart is simply beautiful. It’s made of exotic Bocote wood, which gives it a very distinctive striped appearance. And besides it’s beauty it is as functional as all get-out. It has a long, smooth shaft that allows you to enjoy deep penetration using either end.”
Joy: “Yeah, and it’s a ‘double header’ too. There is a ball at one end that is ideal for G-spot (or P-spot) stimulation. But it also has a more traditional head on the other end, which is followed by 4 ridges. I love my dildos ridged!”
Dixie: “I agree, I love the rippling sensation too. And I like that it’s size is not overwhelming. It’s 10.5” long, but it’s only 1.25” in diameter at its widest point.”
Joy: “We spent a lot of time trying it every which way. And it is safe to use with all kinds of lubes. We are partial to silicone-based lubes and because Hart is so naturally smooth, a very little bit of lube goes a long way.”
Dixie: “Caring for this beauty is blissfully simple. Wash with warm soapy water and dry thoroughly with a soft cloth. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.”
Joy: “Then you can use the wax packet provided with Hart to restore it’s natural luster. Just rub it on and buff it off.”
Dixie: “Your Jildo Dildo will come with a Certificate of Authenticity and a nice velvet pouch for discreet storage.”
Joy: “Jildos has a wide array of shapes and styles to choose from. This is the ideal holiday gift for the GREEN consumer.”

Whimsy $69.00

Glenn & Hank

Hank: “We have a more manly sized Jildo Dildo. Then do the girls.”
Glenn: “I just love that name! ‘Honey, can you please pass the Jildo Dildo?’”
Hank: “I know, and we don’t even have to christen this one, because it comes with its own name — Whimsy.”
Glenn: “It’s a nice 1.5” wide and a bit shorter, at 10”, than Joy & Dixie’s Hart.”
Hank: “I don’s suppose we have to repeat all the stuff that the girls said about lube, care and cleaning and all, do we? Good!”
Glenn: “Yeah, but we should describe it better.”
Hank: “Oh, ok! It’s made of American Cherry wood.”
Glenn: “Think of it as cherry pie on a stick.”
Hank: “You are such a dork!”
Glenn: “You love it!”
Hank: “Our Whimsy is also a ‘double header’. One end is rounded. Think prostate stimulation…or G-spot stimulation. The other end is bullet shaped. There’s a combination of swirls and ridges, which deliver a variety of sensations with the old in and out.”
Glenn: “Mmmm, in and out!”
Hank: “Have you ever met a hornier bastard?”
Glenn: “I’m an unapologetic power bottom; what can I say? And when Hank works my ass with Whimsy, I’m in pig heaven. And this thing warms to my body very fast. It’s like totally awesome.”
Hank: “He’s so right. I can work this boy in to a froth of sexual frenzy with this thing. And I like that it’s very masculine looking. Despite it’s beauty, it doesn’t look out of place next to all of Glenn’s other insertables.”
Glenn: “And I do have quite a collection. At the same time, we could leave this on the coffee table as an object ‘d art for all to admire.
Hank: “If you’re lookin’ for insertable art for your holiday giving, look no further than a stunning Jildo Dildo.”
Glenn: “One final thing. You absolutely have to check out their dildo lore page. It is amazing.

Keeping with today’s GREEN theme we’ve got a couple of delicious products from a little company in Vancouver, BC called Hathor Aphrodisia.

Lubricant Pure 4 oz $18.00 CAD

I, Dr Dick, have the distinct pleasure of introducing you to Lubricant Pure. I am so fond of this mighty-mite of a company from right here in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. What a joy it is to bring their products to your attention.

Ya’ll know my passion for GREEN adult products, right? Hathor Aphrodisia is a boutique company that brings us only a few choice products, but each one is a work of love.

Lubricant Pure is an exceptionally fine personal lube. It contains pure botanical emollients including Horny Goat Weed, Jujube Zizyphus and Siberian Ginseng, which are supposed to have aphrodisiacal properties. Can’t honestly say I noticed any difference in my sexual response cycle. But as my granny used to say, ‘It couldn’t hurt!’

Lubricant Pure is water-based, so it’s condom compatible. It’s slippery, non-sticky and there’s no fragrance, which really appealed to me. I hate when lubes have an odor.

And as you would guess from a company like this, Lubricant Pure even tastes nice. I mean don’t you just hate getting some lubes in your mouth? I know I do. They taste all chemically?

Sex fans, if you want your sex to be GREEN? Here’s a way to do that and support a fantastic little company that is doing the right thing.

Lubricant Pure makes a great stocking stuffer too.

Lubricant Lickeurs — Coconut Orange 4 oz $22.00 CAD

Lubricant Lickeurs — Coconut Orange 4 oz $22.00 CAD

Gina & Kevin

Karen: “This is so cool. I’m a big tea drinker. Never been one for coffee, but I do know my teas. And since I’m a naturally hyper kinda gal, I try to avoid caffeine as much as possible. These teas are delicious and they are herbal.”

Jack: “I, on the other hand, am not a big tea drinker, but I agree; these teas are good. There’s an earthiness to them that I really liked.

Karen: “First up today is My Maple Cookie. I love it; what a name. This tea is a unique blend of premium herbs specially formulated to change the female genitalia and male semen to smell and taste like maple cookies. How fun is that?”

Jack: “Who would have guessed something like this was even possible. I have to admit, it’s the damnedest thing. Karen and I shared the tin of 12 tea bags over a 10 day period. We both noticed a difference in the way we smelled and tasted. Don’t get me wrong; I love the natural taste of she and me, but this is way fun.”

Karen: “Jack’s right. Although, I sometimes find his cum to be kind of acrid. My Maple Cookie

Jack: “I like the taste of my own jizz. I never find it acrid. But I don’t taste it every day. So I bow to Karen’s critique.”

Karen: “The Intimate Teas website suggests pouring 8 ounces of hot water over a tea bag and let steep for 5 minutes. Then gently squeeze the tea bag to let the active ingredients fully release into the water. You may remove tea bag or allow to stay in water for stronger tea.”

Jack: “This tea is not a miracle worker. It won’t cover a multitude of sins. Hell, even I know to avoid some foods like onions and garlic, a lot of booze and, of course, smoking, if you want your spunk to taste sweeter.” changed that in just two days.To continue this week’s GREEN, and I might add YUMMY, theme we veer toward the food end of the spectrum.

Jack: “Next up we have Screaming O tea. The Intimate Teas people get high marks for the clever names and the packaging.”
Karen: “They sure enough do! This tea is a premium blend of unique herbs made to increase sexual passion in both women and men. It is supposed to be an aphrodisiac, sexual stimulant and it’s supposed to intensify orgasms.”
Jack: “That’s what it says on the website. I was dubious…at first. I figured, I already have intense orgasms, do I really need to improve on that…even if it’s possible?”
Karen: “Things are much different for us gals, but I think you know that already. I felt like the tea really did stimulate me. And maybe it was only wishful thinking, but I felt my orgasms intensified too.”
Jack: “Again, I defer to my lovely wife. One thing for sure; this tea is a stimulant. The first time I had this tea was near bedtime. I thought, a nice cup of warm tea will make me sleep like a baby. NOT! I tossed and turned all night long. But I did have a raging boner in the morning. I don’t know if those two thing are connected, but they did follow one after the other.”
Karen: “Kevin and I split the 12 tea bags between us, like the My Maple Cookie tea. I didn’t drink my tea at bedtime, so I couldn’t corroborate Kevin’s story.”
Jack: “I say, if you’re feelin’ a little pookie in the libido department, give this tea a try. I suspect you will be pleasantly surprised.
Karen: “That goes double for the women in our audience. And these teas come in these charming little tins. They make perfect gifts any time of the year, but especially during the holidays.”

November 28, 2008July 1, 2026

Cum All Ye Faithful

REVIEW #26

Hey sex fans,

Holy cow! It’s Week 2 of our Holiday Extravaganza. Did you somehow miss Week 1 of this amazing panoply? Shame on you! Check out REVIEW #25 if ya did.

As you know, the Dr Dick Review Crew is throwing our product review apparatus into high gear. We want to get as many reviews out there as possible before the end of the year. We certainly don’t want to leave you hanging…as to what is hot and juicy in the holiday gift giving department, don’t cha know.

This week’s Review Crew include:

Tag — First Posted Review
Me, Dr Dick — Reviews #1 – 5, 7 – 10, 12, 14, 15, 19, 21, 25
Angie — Reviews #12, 16
Christa — First Posted Review

First up is Tag, who introduces us to two glass dildos from Don Wands — The Cobalt Blue Smooth Vibrating Glass Wand and the Pink Nubby Rocket.
Cobalt Blue Smooth Vibrating Glass Wand $79.99

My name is Tag and this is my first published outing with the Dr Dick Review Crew. Dr Dick and I go way back, but that’s another story all together.

The Cobalt Blue Smooth Vibrating Glass Wand is waterproof and like all glass dildos it’s hypo-allergenic, nonporous, ultra-smooth and very durable. I really appreciated the fact that the first set of batteries (2 AA’s) were included in the package. There’s nothing I hate more than bringing home a battery-operated toy only to discover that the batteries are not included. There oughta be a law against that!

Anyhow, I’m no stranger to glass insertables. In fact, I have an absolutely stunning one that DD gave me last spring. It’s hard (no pun intended) not to make a comparison between the first one and these two. But before we get to that, let’s evaluate the two Don Wands glass dildos on their own merits.

Cobalt Blue Smooth Vibrating Glass Wand is a substantial dildo indeed. It is, of course, rock-hard, straight as an arrow and a beautiful cobalt blue. It’s 8” long with a 4 1/2’” circumference and it vibrates.

I don’t generally take things this big in my butt, so I figured ‘Big Blue’ would be the boyfriend to make me shout. It warmed easily by running it under warm water (it could be chilled just as easily); took very well to assorted lubes; and just as I thought, it made me moan. It was especially fun when I realized the vibration had a continuous setting and an intermittent setting. The pulsating vibe was my favorite.

Pink Nubby Rocket $29.99

Tag: I almost got myself off with ‘Big Blue’, when I happened to look over and see the slightly more petite pink puppy waiting to take me for a ride. I carefully released my grip on ‘Big Blue’, clamped down to stem the tide of my building orgasm and turned my attention to the Pink Nubby Rocket.

Actually Pink Nubby Rocket isn’t so little. Approximately 7 ” in length and 1″ in diameter; this rose-colored dong features a nicely curved shaft with a whole lot of nubbies. It has a nice base to hold on to for pumping in and out and directing the head to your P-spot (or G-spot).

My anal ring just loved opening and closing each time I slowly pushed another knobby ridge through. You know that feeling when a dick head pops in and you relax a little and get ready for the rest? Well this is just like that, only many more times over. And the curvature was perfect for working over my prostate, which made me leak.

This time I didn’t hold back and the Pink Nubby Rocket brought me home. I howled loud enough to scare the dog.

On another occasion, my friend and I did a little double butt action he used the Pink Nubby Rocket, because he’s relatively new to ass play. I hauled out the Cobalt Blue Smooth Vibrating Glass Wand, because I love a challenge. My friend and I lie side-by-side, our heads at opposite ends of the bed. This allowed us to work each other’s toy with one hand and pull our pud with the other. Damn, if this wasn’t more fun than a barrel of monkeys.

You should know that a glass dildo gets real slick with just a wee bit of lube. The good folks at Don Wands also thoughtfully included a sample packet of WET personal lube in the package. Because a glass dong is nonporous the lube won’t get tacky.

One thing for sure, neither one of these dildos feels as substantial as the first one I had. Of course, there was a huge price differential too. The stunning one Dr Dick gave me last spring is much heftier; the glass seems more dense.

Now I’m very careful with all my toys, but I had the feeling that if I dropped one of the Don Wands they would shatter. Not so the original one. So that’s my only critique. I’d prefer to pay more for high-quality glass, rather than get something for less, but fear that it might slip from my lubed-up fingers and possibly smash to smithereens on the floor.

Their website shows lots of different models including one colored and shaped like a candy cane. I certainly hope Santa brings me one of those, because I have been very very good.

Next, Angie and I introduce three delicious products from the oh so creative people at Earthly Body — A Massage Body Candle — Naked in the Woods, an Edible Candle — Watermelon and an Aromatherapy Candle — Melt Away.

Aromatherapy Earthly Body Candle — Melt Away 6 oz. $15.99

One of the best things about being Dr Dick is sharing the bounteous products sent to me for review with my Review Crew. It’s like bein’ friggin’ Santa Claus all year long. Despite my exceptionally big heart there are always some pangs of envy as I see a product I covet go off to a new home in the hot little hands of one of my posse. Generosity is so bittersweet.

I had the damnedest time trying to choose among these Earthly Body products. Each one is a mini treasure. But since I am an avid practitioner of massage and bodywork I chose the Aromatherapy Earthly Body Candle — Melt Away as my keeper…

If you are unfamiliar with the concept of a body candle, here’s the deal. These beauties are designed to melt at a lower temperature than regular candles. You light them like regular, of course, but they liquefy quicker, thus the ‘wax’ (more precisely, oil) is not so hot. So you light your candle, melt some, extinguish the flame and then use the sensuous scented oil to massage with. There simply is nothing finer!

Not all such candles are created equal, don’t cha know. But I can say with confidence that the Earthly Body candle is the finest I’ve ever used; bar none. Their candles are made from 8 Natural Oils including Hemp Seed (Mmmm Hemp!), Vitamin E, Jojoba, Avocado, and Almond. This is like a picnic for your skin. It penetrates easily thus moisturizing your skin leaving it soft and smooth, like a baby’s bottom.

Wanna take a mini-vacation for under $20? Look no further than Earthly Body.

And the fragrance is out of this world. This particular candle — Melt Away, is scented with clove. These candles are infused with real aromatherapy essences, mind you. No cheap artificial stuff here, I’m happy to report. So you have this complete experience — a scented candle that fragrances the room, which also provides an equally delectably scented high-quality massage oil.

Heart-Shaped Massage Body Candle — Naked in the Woods 6 oz. $15.99

Edible Candle — Watermelon 4 oz. $15.99

Angie: I couldn’t agree more with the Dr D! I was thrilled when asked to review these two candles — the Heart-Shaped Massage Body Candle — Naked in the Woods and the Edible Candle — Watermelon. They are scrumptious.

I have very sensitive skin, so I have to be very careful what products I use. Initially, I was concerned that fragranced products, like these, would not sit well on my skin. So I decided to visit the Earthly Body website and do some homework before my first use. I was delighted to learn that all their products are vegan and nontoxic.

My first use was right after my bath. I lit a candle, which fragranced the room while I enjoyed my bath. Naked in the Woods has a light earthy sent with just a hint of pine. the Edible Candle — Watermelon is…well all watermelon-y. Is there such a word? Depending on my mood, I had a choice between earthy and fruity. By the time if finished my bath, there was enough liquefied oil to generously moisturize my legs. This is a much finer oil than what I usually use, so much more silky.

One thing I did not know is that Hemp Seed Oil is known as ‘nature’s most perfectly balanced oil,’ and has the highest concentration of Essential Fatty Acids (EFAs) of any essential oil. I guess that explains the rich texture of the melted candle.

As a special treat, I used the Naked in the Woods candle on my husband. He probably would have resisted had I asked him first. Scented things are not his bag. He’s such a guy! But I had the candle lit at our bedside. (The scent is not overwhelming in any way.) We were feeling amorous; and I said I wanted to treat him to a little back rub. He never says no to a massage. I extinguished the candle and dribbled the warm oil on his back. I poured it from about one foot above his back, so that by the time it hit him it was only slightly warmer than his skin. He moaned with delight as I rubbed it in.

The economy being what it is, I believe more and more of us will be turning to simple, inexpensive pleasures that can be enjoyed at home. These Earthly Body candles have only whet my appetite to try some of their other products. (Hubby dear, if you’re reading this, as I know you are, the New Year will be a whole lot more sensual if I find a big gift pack of Earthly Body goodies under the tree. Hint, hint!)

One final thing, and I know that Dr Dick agrees with me on this, we are both delighted to see that Earthly Body, besides being an earth-friendly, totally GREEN company, it also has a much bigger social conscience. The founders of the company have created a charitable foundation called The Get Together Foundation. How fantastic is that?

And now for something completely different! Our next line of products will be introduced by a newcomer to the Review Crew — Christa.

Here’s the thing. The exceptionally irreverent and downright blasphemous folks are Divine Interventions have cum up with a line of exquisite silicone insertables. You say; “Ok Dr Dick, we loves us some silicone dildos!” Yeah, everyone on the Review Crew said the same thing.

But not so fast, since these remarkable insertables are fashioned in a most unorthodox manner (to say the least) no crew member had the audacity to take them on. That is until Joy turned me on to her 20-something goth-chick pal, Christa. She was like totally down with the whole sacrilegious concept, as you will see.

Diving Nun $59

Christa here! I can’t believe that you’re just gonna fork over three totally bitchin’, top of the line, high-grade silicone toys, like for free. And the fact that these babies skewer the whole religion thing makes ‘em even hotter.
So ok, I can see where these are not for everyone. People are so fuckin’ uptight about shit like this. But like I said, that only makes them more of a turn on for me.

Take the Diving Nun for instance. This is a no nonsense dong, 7-3/4” tall with a 1-3/4” diameter. This will fill you up. It comes in lots of hot colors. Mine is appropriately virgin Mary blue. What’s so great about this particular dildo is that it has a suction base. It’ll stick to the floor, if you’re takin it up the ass or to the wall if you wanna hands-free pussy-fuck yourself. Now, that’s what I call versatile! I had my way with this thing in the shower the other day and I’m still walkin’ funny today…

Baby Jesus Butt Plug —— $35

I saved the Baby Jesus Butt Plug for my sub, butt-boy BF, Alex. He is like this total ass whore. I was the first girlfriend he ever had that fingered his hole and played with his prostate. Now it’s ‘fuck me, fuck me, fuck me’ all the time. This butt plug is perfect for keeping him stuffed and horny so that he gets me off a bunch of times before he does himself. And I can just lay back and enjoy. If you have an ass-hungry man in your life, or you are ass-hungry yourself and you’d get off even more by shovin’ an icon where the sun don’t shine; this is the plug for you.

The secret to the success of all these insertables is all the assorted nooks, crannies, ribbing and curves. These are the things that will send you to paradise!

This Baby Jesus Butt Plug is 4-1/2” tall with 1-1/2” diameter. It comes in a bunch of hot colors. Alex’s is marbled red.

Jackhammer Jesus —— $65

The ultimate in blasphemy! Ever get in the mood to go like all Linda Blair in the Exorcist? Frankly I hadn’t ever thought about it till I discovered that my Jackhammer Jesus is a silicone crucifix with a beautiful dickhead at the foot of the cross. Then all manner of wickedness crossed (no pun intended) my mind.

This beauty rivals the Diving Nun in size, 7-1/2” tall by 1-3/4” diameter. It’s not as versatile as the Nun, because it doesn’t have a suction base. But the Jackhammer Jesus is even more twisted.

I suppose all you visitors to the Dr Dick site already know that you can only use water-based lubes with silicone, right? I hope so, because silicone-based lubes will seriously fuck up a silicone toy. Care and cleaning of silicone is way easy too. Warm water and mild soap is what I use. If I need to sterilize before sharing my toys, I boil the toy for a few minutes. I also wipe down my toys with a 10% bleach solution and a lint-free cloth between each use. But you can use peroxide or rubbing alcohol too. This will keep your toys as fresh as the day you bought them…or in my case picked ‘em up at Dr Dick’s place.

One final thing, the Divine Interventions site sells a bunch of other insertables too. And you’ll be happy to know that they are equal-opportunity blasphemers they skewer other religious figures too. I’m gonna save my sheckles and buy me a Devil’s Advocate.