REVIEW #27
Hey sex fans,
Holy mackerel! It’s Week 3 of our Holiday Extravaganza. Did you somehow miss Week 1 or 2 of this lollapalooza? Shame on you! Check out Reviews #25 and 26. You’ll be so glad ya did.
The Dr Dick Review Crew has our review apparatus workin’ overtime. We want to get as many reviews out there before the end of the year. Because we certainly don’t want to leave you hanging…as it were. This week, we have yet another hot juicy load of swell holiday gift giving ideas for you. And guess what? They are all GREEN.
This week’s Review Crew include:
- Jack & Karen — Reviews #17, 18, 25
- Joy & Dixie— Reviews #6, 12, 16, 17, 18, 23
- Me, Dr Dick — Reviews #1 – 5, 7 – 10, 12, 14, 15, 19, 21, 25, 26
- Glenn & Hank — Reviews #4, 16, 17, 18, 23. 24
- Gina & Kevin — Reviews #4, 13, 16, 17, 18, 23, 24
First up we have two brilliant wooden insertables from my very good friends at Jildos; The Art You Love To Touch! Jildos are American made, hand-crafted works of art. They are produced by a company called: WoodPeckers Roost. Can you stand it? They are made from the most durable, safe materials available and they are GREEN, oh so GREEN.
Hart $69.00
Joy & Dixie
Joy: “I’ve had a hankerin’ for a wooden dildo for ages. I’ve admired them online and even held a few in
my hands at our local sex emporium. But nothing compares to owing one and having it inside you.”
Dixie: “That is so true. Hart is simply beautiful. It’s made of exotic Bocote wood, which gives it a very distinctive striped appearance. And besides it’s beauty it is as functional as all get-out. It has a long, smooth shaft that allows you to enjoy deep penetration using either end.”
Joy: “Yeah, and it’s a ‘double header’ too. There is a ball at one end that is ideal for G-spot (or P-spot) stimulation. But it also has a more traditional head on the other end, which is followed by 4 ridges. I love my dildos ridged!”
Dixie: “I agree, I love the rippling sensation too. And I like that it’s size is not overwhelming. It’s 10.5” long, but it’s only 1.25” in diameter at its widest point.”
Joy: “We spent a lot of time trying it every which way. And it is safe to use with all kinds of lubes. We are partial to silicone-based lubes and because Hart is so naturally smooth, a very little bit of lube goes a long way.”
Dixie: “Caring for this beauty is blissfully simple. Wash with warm soapy water and dry thoroughly with a soft cloth. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.”
Joy: “Then you can use the wax packet provided with Hart to restore it’s natural luster. Just rub it on and buff it off.”
Dixie: “Your Jildo Dildo will come with a Certificate of Authenticity and a nice velvet pouch for discreet storage.”
Joy: “Jildos has a wide array of shapes and styles to choose from. This is the ideal holiday gift for the GREEN consumer.”Whimsy $69.00
Glenn & Hank
Hank: “We have a more manly sized Jildo Dildo. Then do the girls.”
Glenn: “I just love that name! ‘Honey, can you please pass the Jildo Dildo?’”
Hank: “I know, and we don’t even have to christen this one, because it comes with its own name — Whimsy.”
Glenn: “It’s a nice 1.5” wide and a bit shorter, at 10”, than Joy & Dixie’s Hart.”
Hank: “I don’s suppose we have to repeat all the stuff that the girls said about lube, care and cleaning and all, do we? Good!”
Glenn: “Yeah, but we should describe it better.”
Hank: “Oh, ok! It’s made of American Cherry wood.”
Glenn: “Think of it as cherry pie on a stick.”
Hank: “You are such a dork!”
Glenn: “You love it!”
Hank: “Our Whimsy is also a ‘double header’. One end is rounded. Think prostate stimulation…or G-spot stimulation. The other end is bullet shaped. There’s a combination of swirls and ridges, which deliver a variety of sensations with the old in and out.”
Glenn: “Mmmm, in and out!”
Hank: “Have you ever met a hornier bastard?”
Glenn: “I’m an unapologetic power bottom; what can I say? And when Hank works my ass with Whimsy, I’m in pig heaven. And this thing warms to my body very fast. It’s like totally awesome.”
Hank: “He’s so right. I can work this boy in to a froth of sexual frenzy with this thing. And I like that it’s very masculine looking. Despite it’s beauty, it doesn’t look out of place next to all of Glenn’s other insertables.”
Glenn: “And I do have quite a collection. At the same time, we could leave this on the coffee table as an object ‘d art for all to admire.
Hank: “If you’re lookin’ for insertable art for your holiday giving, look no further than a stunning Jildo Dildo.”
Glenn: “One final thing. You absolutely have to check out their dildo lore page. It is amazing.Keeping with today’s GREEN theme we’ve got a couple of delicious products from a little company in Vancouver, BC called Hathor Aphrodisia.
Lubricant Pure 4 oz $18.00 CAD
I, Dr Dick, have the distinct pleasure of introducing you to Lubricant Pure. I am so fond of this mighty-mite of a company from right here in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. What a joy it is to bring their products to your attention.
Ya’ll know my passion for GREEN adult products, right? Hathor Aphrodisia is a boutique company that brings us only a few choice products, but each one is a work of love.
Lubricant Pure is an exceptionally fine personal lube. It contains pure botanical emollients including Horny Goat Weed, Jujube Zizyphus and Siberian Ginseng, which are supposed to have aphrodisiacal properties. Can’t honestly say I noticed any difference in my sexual response cycle. But as my granny used to say, ‘It couldn’t hurt!’
Lubricant Pure is water-based, so it’s condom compatible. It’s slippery, non-sticky and there’s no fragrance, which really appealed to me. I hate when lubes have an odor.
And as you would guess from a company like this, Lubricant Pure even tastes nice. I mean don’t you just hate getting some lubes in your mouth? I know I do. They taste all chemically?
Sex fans, if you want your sex to be GREEN? Here’s a way to do that and support a fantastic little company that is doing the right thing.
Lubricant Pure makes a great stocking stuffer too.
Lubricant Lickeurs — Coconut Orange 4 oz $22.00 CAD
Lubricant Lickeurs — Coconut Orange 4 oz $22.00 CAD
Gina & Kevin
Karen: “This is so cool. I’m a big tea drinker. Never been one for coffee, but I do know my teas. And since I’m a naturally hyper kinda gal, I try to avoid caffeine as much as possible. These teas are delicious and they are herbal.”
Jack: “I, on the other hand, am not a big tea drinker, but I agree; these teas are good. There’s an earthiness to them that I really liked.
Karen: “First up today is My Maple Cookie. I love it; what a name. This tea is a unique blend of premium herbs specially formulated to change the female genitalia and male semen to smell and taste like maple cookies. How fun is that?”
Jack: “Who would have guessed something like this was even possible. I have to admit, it’s the damnedest thing. Karen and I shared the tin of 12 tea bags over a 10 day period. We both noticed a difference in the way we smelled and tasted. Don’t get me wrong; I love the natural taste of she and me, but this is way fun.”
Karen: “Jack’s right. Although, I sometimes find his cum to be kind of acrid. My Maple Cookie
Jack: “I like the taste of my own jizz. I never find it acrid. But I don’t taste it every day. So I bow to Karen’s critique.”
Karen: “The Intimate Teas website suggests pouring 8 ounces of hot water over a tea bag and let steep for 5 minutes. Then gently squeeze the tea bag to let the active ingredients fully release into the water. You may remove tea bag or allow to stay in water for stronger tea.”
Jack: “This tea is not a miracle worker. It won’t cover a multitude of sins. Hell, even I know to avoid some foods like onions and garlic, a lot of booze and, of course, smoking, if you want your spunk to taste sweeter.” changed that in just two days.To continue this week’s GREEN, and I might add YUMMY, theme we veer toward the food end of the spectrum.
Jack: “Next up we have Screaming O tea. The Intimate Teas people get high marks for the clever names and the packaging.”
Karen: “They sure enough do! This tea is a premium blend of unique herbs made to increase sexual passion in both women and men. It is supposed to be an aphrodisiac, sexual stimulant and it’s supposed to intensify orgasms.”
Jack: “That’s what it says on the website. I was dubious…at first. I figured, I already have intense orgasms, do I really need to improve on that…even if it’s possible?”
Karen: “Things are much different for us gals, but I think you know that already. I felt like the tea really did stimulate me. And maybe it was only wishful thinking, but I felt my orgasms intensified too.”
Jack: “Again, I defer to my lovely wife. One thing for sure; this tea is a stimulant. The first time I had this tea was near bedtime. I thought, a nice cup of warm tea will make me sleep like a baby. NOT! I tossed and turned all night long. But I did have a raging boner in the morning. I don’t know if those two thing are connected, but they did follow one after the other.”
Karen: “Kevin and I split the 12 tea bags between us, like the My Maple Cookie tea. I didn’t drink my tea at bedtime, so I couldn’t corroborate Kevin’s story.”
Jack: “I say, if you’re feelin’ a little pookie in the libido department, give this tea a try. I suspect you will be pleasantly surprised.
Karen: “That goes double for the women in our audience. And these teas come in these charming little tins. They make perfect gifts any time of the year, but especially during the holidays.”
Cum All Ye Faithful
REVIEW #26
Hey sex fans,
Holy cow! It’s Week 2 of our Holiday Extravaganza. Did you somehow miss Week 1 of this amazing panoply? Shame on you! Check out REVIEW #25 if ya did.
As you know, the Dr Dick Review Crew is throwing our product review apparatus into high gear. We want to get as many reviews out there as possible before the end of the year. We certainly don’t want to leave you hanging…as to what is hot and juicy in the holiday gift giving department, don’t cha know.
This week’s Review Crew include:
- Tag — First Posted Review
- Me, Dr Dick — Reviews #1 – 5, 7 – 10, 12, 14, 15, 19, 21, 25
- Angie — Reviews #12, 16
- Christa — First Posted Review
First up is Tag, who introduces us to two glass dildos from Don Wands — The Cobalt Blue Smooth Vibrating Glass Wand and the Pink Nubby Rocket.
Cobalt Blue Smooth Vibrating Glass Wand $79.99
My name is Tag and this is my first published outing with the Dr Dick Review Crew. Dr Dick and I go way back, but that’s another story all together.
The Cobalt Blue Smooth Vibrating Glass Wand is waterproof and like all glass dildos it’s hypo-allergenic, nonporous, ultra-smooth and very durable. I really appreciated the fact that the first set of batteries (2 AA’s) were included in the package. There’s nothing I hate more than bringing home a battery-operated toy only to discover that the batteries are not included. There oughta be a law against that!
Anyhow, I’m no stranger to glass insertables. In fact, I have an absolutely stunning one that DD gave me last spring. It’s hard (no pun intended) not to make a comparison between the first one and these two. But before we get to that, let’s evaluate the two Don Wands glass dildos on their own merits.
Cobalt Blue Smooth Vibrating Glass Wand is a substantial dildo indeed. It is, of course, rock-hard, straight as an arrow and a beautiful cobalt blue. It’s 8” long with a 4 1/2’” circumference and it vibrates.
I don’t generally take things this big in my butt, so I figured ‘Big Blue’ would be the boyfriend to make me shout. It warmed easily by running it under warm water (it could be chilled just as easily); took very well to assorted lubes; and just as I thought, it made me moan. It was especially fun when I realized the vibration had a continuous setting and an intermittent setting. The pulsating vibe was my favorite.
Pink Nubby Rocket $29.99
Tag: I almost got myself off with ‘Big Blue’, when I happened to look over and see the slightly more petite pink puppy waiting to take me for a ride. I carefully released my grip on ‘Big Blue’, clamped down to stem the tide of my building orgasm and turned my attention to the Pink Nubby Rocket.
Actually Pink Nubby Rocket isn’t so little. Approximately 7 ” in length and 1″ in diameter; this rose-colored dong features a nicely curved shaft with a whole lot of nubbies. It has a nice base to hold on to for pumping in and out and directing the head to your P-spot (or G-spot).
My anal ring just loved opening and closing each time I slowly pushed another knobby ridge through. You know that feeling when a dick head pops in and you relax a little and get ready for the rest? Well this is just like that, only many more times over. And the curvature was perfect for working over my prostate, which made me leak.
This time I didn’t hold back and the Pink Nubby Rocket brought me home. I howled loud enough to scare the dog.
On another occasion, my friend and I did a little double butt action he used the Pink Nubby Rocket, because he’s relatively new to ass play. I hauled out the Cobalt Blue Smooth Vibrating Glass Wand, because I love a challenge. My friend and I lie side-by-side, our heads at opposite ends of the bed. This allowed us to work each other’s toy with one hand and pull our pud with the other. Damn, if this wasn’t more fun than a barrel of monkeys.
You should know that a glass dildo gets real slick with just a wee bit of lube. The good folks at Don Wands also thoughtfully included a sample packet of WET personal lube in the package. Because a glass dong is nonporous the lube won’t get tacky.
One thing for sure, neither one of these dildos feels as substantial as the first one I had. Of course, there was a huge price differential too. The stunning one Dr Dick gave me last spring is much heftier; the glass seems more dense.
Now I’m very careful with all my toys, but I had the feeling that if I dropped one of the Don Wands they would shatter. Not so the original one. So that’s my only critique. I’d prefer to pay more for high-quality glass, rather than get something for less, but fear that it might slip from my lubed-up fingers and possibly smash to smithereens on the floor.
Their website shows lots of different models including one colored and shaped like a candy cane. I certainly hope Santa brings me one of those, because I have been very very good.
Next, Angie and I introduce three delicious products from the oh so creative people at Earthly Body — A Massage Body Candle — Naked in the Woods, an Edible Candle — Watermelon and an Aromatherapy Candle — Melt Away.
Aromatherapy Earthly Body Candle — Melt Away 6 oz. $15.99
One of the best things about being Dr Dick is sharing the bounteous
products sent to me for review with my Review Crew. It’s like bein’ friggin’ Santa Claus all year long. Despite my exceptionally big heart there are always some pangs of envy as I see a product I covet go off to a new home in the hot little hands of one of my posse. Generosity is so bittersweet.
I had the damnedest time trying to choose among these Earthly Body products. Each one is a mini treasure. But since I am an avid practitioner of massage and bodywork I chose the Aromatherapy Earthly Body Candle — Melt Away as my keeper…
If you are unfamiliar with the concept of a body candle, here’s the deal. These beauties are designed to melt at a lower temperature than regular candles. You light them like regular, of course, but they liquefy quicker, thus the ‘wax’ (more precisely, oil) is not so hot. So you light your candle, melt some, extinguish the flame and then use the sensuous scented oil to massage with. There simply is nothing finer!
Not all such candles are created equal, don’t cha know. But I can say with confidence that the Earthly Body candle is the finest I’ve ever used; bar none. Their candles are made from 8 Natural Oils including Hemp Seed (Mmmm Hemp!), Vitamin E, Jojoba, Avocado, and Almond. This is like a picnic for your skin. It penetrates easily thus moisturizing your skin leaving it soft and smooth, like a baby’s bottom.
Wanna take a mini-vacation for under $20? Look no further than Earthly Body.
And the fragrance is out of this world. This particular candle — Melt Away, is scented with clove. These candles are infused with real aromatherapy essences, mind you. No cheap artificial stuff here, I’m happy to report. So you have this complete experience — a scented candle that fragrances the room, which also provides an equally delectably scented high-quality massage oil.
Heart-Shaped Massage Body Candle — Naked in the Woods 6 oz. $15.99
Edible Candle — Watermelon 4 oz. $15.99
Angie: I couldn’t agree more with the Dr D! I was thrilled when asked to
review these two candles — the Heart-Shaped Massage Body Candle — Naked in the Woods and the Edible Candle — Watermelon. They are scrumptious.
I have very sensitive skin, so I have to be very careful what products I use. Initially, I was concerned that fragranced products, like these, would not sit well on my skin. So I decided to visit the Earthly Body website and do some homework before my first use. I was delighted to learn that all their products are vegan and nontoxic.
My first use was right after my bath. I lit a candle, which fragranced the room while I enjoyed my bath. Naked in the Woods has a light earthy sent with just a hint of pine. the Edible Candle — Watermelon is…well all
watermelon-y. Is there such a word? Depending on my mood, I had a choice between earthy and fruity. By the time if finished my bath, there was enough liquefied oil to generously moisturize my legs. This is a much finer oil than what I usually use, so much more silky.
One thing I did not know is that Hemp Seed Oil is known as ‘nature’s most perfectly balanced oil,’ and has the highest concentration of Essential Fatty Acids (EFAs) of any essential oil. I guess that explains the rich texture of the melted candle.
As a special treat, I used the Naked in the Woods candle on my husband. He probably would have resisted had I asked him first. Scented things are not his bag. He’s such a guy! But I had the candle lit at our bedside. (The scent is not overwhelming in any way.) We were feeling amorous; and I said I wanted to treat him to a little back rub. He never says no to a massage. I extinguished the candle and dribbled the warm oil on his back. I poured it from about one foot above his back, so that by the time it hit him it was only slightly warmer than his skin. He moaned with delight as I rubbed it in.
The economy being what it is, I believe more and more of us will be turning to simple, inexpensive pleasures that can be enjoyed at home. These Earthly Body candles have only whet my appetite to try some of their other products. (Hubby dear, if you’re reading this, as I know you are, the New Year will be a whole lot more sensual if I find a big gift pack of Earthly Body goodies under the tree. Hint, hint!)
One final thing, and I know that Dr Dick agrees with me on this, we are both delighted to see that Earthly Body, besides being an earth-friendly, totally GREEN company, it also has a much bigger social conscience. The founders of the company have created a charitable foundation called The Get Together Foundation. How fantastic is that?
And now for something completely different! Our next line of products will be introduced by a newcomer to the Review Crew — Christa.
Here’s the thing. The exceptionally irreverent and downright blasphemous folks are Divine Interventions have cum up with a line of exquisite silicone insertables. You say; “Ok Dr Dick, we loves us some silicone dildos!” Yeah, everyone on the Review Crew said the same thing.
But not so fast, since these remarkable insertables are fashioned in a most unorthodox manner (to say the least) no crew member had the audacity to take them on. That is until Joy turned me on to her 20-something goth-chick pal, Christa. She was like totally down with the whole sacrilegious concept, as you will see.
Diving Nun $59
Christa here! I can’t believe that you’re just gonna fork over three totally
bitchin’, top of the line, high-grade silicone toys, like for free. And the fact that these babies skewer the whole religion thing makes ‘em even hotter.
So ok, I can see where these are not for everyone. People are so fuckin’ uptight about shit like this. But like I said, that only makes them more of a turn on for me.
Take the Diving Nun for instance. This is a no nonsense dong, 7-3/4” tall with a 1-3/4” diameter. This will fill you up. It comes in lots of hot colors. Mine is appropriately virgin Mary blue. What’s so great about this particular dildo is that it has a suction base. It’ll stick to the floor, if you’re takin it up the ass or to the wall if you wanna hands-free pussy-fuck yourself. Now, that’s what I call versatile! I had my way with this thing in the shower the other day and I’m still walkin’ funny today…
Baby Jesus Butt Plug —— $35
I saved the Baby Jesus Butt Plug for my sub, butt-boy BF, Alex. He is like this total
ass whore. I was the first girlfriend he ever had that fingered his hole and played with his prostate. Now it’s ‘fuck me, fuck me, fuck me’ all the time. This butt plug is perfect for keeping him stuffed and horny so that he gets me off a bunch of times before he does himself. And I can just lay back and enjoy. If you have an ass-hungry man in your life, or you are ass-hungry yourself and you’d get off even more by shovin’ an icon where the sun don’t shine; this is the plug for you.
The secret to the success of all these insertables is all the assorted nooks, crannies, ribbing and curves. These are the things that will send you to paradise!
This Baby Jesus Butt Plug is 4-1/2” tall with 1-1/2” diameter. It comes in a bunch of hot colors. Alex’s is marbled red.
Jackhammer Jesus —— $65
The ultimate in blasphemy! Ever get in the mood to go like all Linda Blair in the Exorcist? Frankly I hadn’t ever thought about it till I discovered that my
Jackhammer Jesus is a silicone crucifix with a beautiful dickhead at the foot of the cross. Then all manner of wickedness crossed (no pun intended) my mind.
This beauty rivals the Diving Nun in size, 7-1/2” tall by 1-3/4” diameter. It’s not as versatile as the Nun, because it doesn’t have a suction base. But the Jackhammer Jesus is even more twisted.
I suppose all you visitors to the Dr Dick site already know that you can only use water-based lubes with silicone, right? I hope so, because silicone-based lubes will seriously fuck up a silicone toy. Care and cleaning of silicone is way easy too. Warm water and mild soap is what I use. If I need to sterilize before sharing my toys, I boil the toy for a few minutes. I also wipe down my toys with a 10% bleach solution and a lint-free cloth between each use. But you can use peroxide or rubbing alcohol too. This will keep your toys as fresh as the day you bought them…or in my case picked ‘em up at Dr Dick’s place.
One final thing, the Divine Interventions site sells a bunch of other insertables too. And you’ll be happy to know that they are equal-opportunity blasphemers they skewer other religious figures too. I’m gonna save my sheckles and buy me a Devil’s Advocate.
COMFORT AND JOY
REVIEW #25
Hey sex fans,
I know it’s hard to believe, but the freakin’ holidays are upon us once again. Bah Humbug!
So OK not everyone is not a Scrooge, like me. That’s why the Dr Dick Review Crew is throwing our product review apparatus into high gear. We want to get as many reviews out there in the next month as possible. We want you to have a load of swell holiday gift giving ideas, don’t cha k now.
This week’s Review Crew include:
- Jack & Karen — Reviews #17, 18
- Ken & Denise — Review #11, 16
- Carlos — Reviews #4
- Mick & Chuck— Reviews #12
Let’s start things off with a little COMFORT!
Jack & Karen introduce us to Pleasure Pack Combo.
The Right Position Sex Pillow Combo —— $89.00
Karen: “I’m just wild about The Right Position Sex Pillow. Until the day Jack and I picked up the Pleasure Pack Combo at Dr Dick’s, I hadn’t given much thought to how exceptionally useful a specialized cushion like this could be.”
Jack: “I totally agree. Ya see the sex pillow is wedge shaped (about 6” atits widest), which allows us to position our bodies for a more accommodating and comfortable fuck.”
Karen: “But it’s not just for fucking, although I must say it is ideal for anal sex, but I’ll get to that in a minute. What I like most is that it raises my pelvis just enough so that Jack can pleasure me orally. And The Right Position Sex Pillow is so comfortable too”
Jack: “In the past, we had to fumble around with traditional pillows to place under Karen’s ass to raise it to just the right height for me to effortlessly eat her out. But now with The Right Position Sex Pillow I can crawl between her legs and find her pussy at precisely the right height for me to dig in.”
Karen: “My man has the most talented tongue around. I’m totally down with anything that makes him more comfortable while he works, if ya know what I mean..”
Jack: “Karen mention ass fucking. When I bottom for her I love her to peg me while we’re face to face.”
Karen: “Before we got The Right Position Sex Pillow I found face-to-face pegging a real chore. Jack is a lot bigger and heaver than I, and even though he tries to keep his legs up during the peg, it’s exhausting and when he tires they crash down around my shoulders. It’s difficult for me to help him keep his legs up so it’s kind of frustrating.”
Jack: “Yeah, but now all I have to do is position the Sex Pillow under my back so that the widest part of the wedge is just slightly above my waist. This allows me to throw my legs up and back and keep them there with ease. It’s really great.”
Karen: “It really has made all the difference in the world. How we did without one of these for so long is beyond me.”
Jack: “I like the fact that Sex Pillow cleans up easily with just a little soap and water. It’s made of soft latex free foam that resists lube stains. Thank you very much! And it has a built in handle, so it’s easy to adjust.”
Karen: “The Right Position Sex Pillow even comes with its own lovely satin drawstring bag.”
Jack: “Tell ‘em about the other thing.”
Karen: “He’s referring to The Pleasure Wrap. It’s very sweet sexy little throw with a soft furry fleece side and silky satin side. It’s ideal for cuddling after a romp. I often get chilled afterward, even on the warmest days. So this is perfect for me. Oh, and machine washable too. They’ve thought of everything!”
Jack: “In case you haven’t noticed, we love these products. You can buy the pillow and wrap separately. But the combo is so reasonably priced; why not splurge? It will make the perfect holiday gift for all you lovers out there.”
And now for a whole lot of JOY!
Mick & Chuck introduce us to Smooth Glider.
Smooth Glider $89.95
Mick: “Hey, it’s great to be back as part of the Dr Dick Review Crew.
Chuck: “This is the dream “job. What’s not to love about getting free sex toys? And we loves us some toys.”
Mick: “Yeah, but we’re also informing people about what to look for inquality products while avoiding the junk.”
Chuck: “Exactly! Speaking of quality, check out our Smooth Glider. It’s stunning. It’s made of Pyrex glass.”
Mick: “It’s approximately 7 inches long and 1 1/4 inches in diameter with a nicely sculpted head that measures approximately 1 1/2 inches in diameter. It weighs a hefty 12.4 oz. And the sucker is smooth as glass…thus the name. Duh!
Chuck: “Well a lot of glass dildos are textured. This one happens to be smooth. But it does have a nice curve to it. It’s perfect for prostate stimulation.”
Mick: “Or G-Spot stimulation, if you have one of those.” 😉
Chuck: “The first thing you need to know is that not all glass dildos are created equal. There are plenty of cheap knock-offs out there that I wouldn’t stick in my ass for a million bucks. But the Smooth Glider is top of the line.”
Mick: “If you’ve never used a glass dido you will be amazed. It’s like no other material. With just the tiniest amount of lube (we use a silicone-based lube) this thing becomes amazingly slick. And you can warm or chill this baby for added sensations.”
Chuck: “The Smooth Glider, like all quality glass products, is easy to care for too. Warm soapy water and a nice lint-free towel is all you need for clean up. But you can pop it in the dishwasher; sterilize it in a 10% bleach solution; or in boiling water for a couple of minutes. Making it the idea toy for sharing.”
Mick: “One more thing about the Smooth Glider’s design. It has a nice base on it. So it’s easy to grab hold of for turning or pumping in and out.”
Chuck: “Mmmmm, pumping in and out!”
The Smooth Glider comes in a beautiful red padded velvet pouch to protect it when it’s not punishing your, or someone you love’s ass.”
Mick: “I highly recommend the Smooth Glider to anyone who is looking for the classic glass dildo. You will not be disappointed.”
Chuck: “I second that! And anyone out there still unsure about glass toys, if you buy quality, like the Smooth Glider, you have nothing to worry about. But like all high-end toys you need to treat it right. Care for it properly, and it will last a lifetime.”
Mick: “Yeah just think this could be an heirloom, passed down from generation to generation. In about a hundred years look for it to appear on the Antique Road Show. ‘Why, my great, great uncle Mick buggered himself senseless with this beauty!’” 😉
Next up, Ken & Denise introduce us to one of the beauties from NobEssence — TRYST.
TRYST $180.00
Denise: “Thank you for the warm welcome to the Dr Dick Review Crew. It’s been a blast…literally and figuratively.”
Ken: “Denise has been eager to join our little club since our adventures with The Vergenza Mk. I.”
Denise: “This time we have an equally beautiful and oh so functional dildo/massager, TRYST. It’s sculpted wood. Isn’t it gorgeous?
Ken: “Yeah, like The Vergenza Mk. I, TRYST is a work of art.
Denise: “It’s is ‘double header’, if you will. One end is round, smooth and bulbous. It is uniquely shaped to stimulate either G-spot or P-spot. Theother end is a beaded sort of thing that supplies the most delicious rippling sensation. And each end is perfectly angled to act as a handle when the other end slides into place. It’s brilliant!”
Ken: “I’ve never used anything like it. I mean, it’s10” long. The bulb end is 1 1/2” at the tip, but it then widens to a 2” body before the traditional plug notch. The beaded end is curved, but smaller— an 1” at its widest point.”
Denise: “And, of course, TRYST can be used vaginally and anally. Or did you already get that from my G-spot or P-spot reference? I’m a little slow sometimes.”
Ken: “We’ve enjoyed this dildo every which way. And we haven’t tied of it yet.
Denise: “I sense that some of our visitors may be apprehensive about wood as an insertable. Well let me put your mind at ease. It’s perfectly safe. These sculptures are sealed with an impermeable finish that is hypoallergenic, sent-free, waterproof and bacteria resistant. And because wood is all natural, there are no worries about chemical additives, like phthalates.”
Ken: “Yeah, this is about as green as you can get.”
Denise: “Clean up is a breeze. Warm water and a mild soap do the trick. When we trade off using this gem; we wipe it down with peroxide and a lint-free towel. But you can use alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.
Ken: “Mick said something about how slick his toy got with just the smallest amount of lube. The same is true with TRYST. Like those guys we prefer a silicone-based lube. And another noteworthy thing is that wood will warm to your body temperature as you use it.”
Denise: “All NobEssence sculptures come in beautifully designed gift boxes. Perfect for holiday gift giving.”
Ken: “This is a very special gift for that very special someone. It is both artistic and sensual. If you want to make a HUGE impression; this will make the point.”
Finally, Carlos introduces us to another beauty from NobEssence — ROMP.
ROMP $110
Carlos: “It’s great to be back with some of my old review pals and some new ones too.
I feel a little odd being the only single person here, but my ROMP is perfect for solitary use. It’s an exquisite wooden butt plug/prostate massager.
Before I continue with a description, I want to say that I agree with everything Ken and
Denise said about their sculpture. And since you just heard from them, I won’t repeat it all myself.
ROMP is the best prostate massager I’ve ever used. And I’ve tried several. It fits snug and stays in place because of the notch between the handle and the rounded insertable end. And it’s designed to be worn for extended periods of time. The longer you wear it, the better it feels. Dr Dick and I are both big advocates of prostate self-awareness and prostate massage. And this is the perfect ‘tool’ for that.
It isn’t all that big, so it is suitable for even the beginner. The insertable section is 3 1/2” long and 1 1/2” at its widest point. Nothing threatening there! I suppose you could just as well use ROMP for G-spot stimulation, but I don’t have one of those. So I can’t speak to that.Lube, of course, is important. And ROMP is compatible with all types of commercially produced lubes — water-based, silicone-based, whatever you have.
I love my ROMP. I’ve already turned a couple of my bi-men friends on to this amazing instrument.
One thing I should point out. The NobEssence site only allows you to buy directly from them if you use PayPal. That is such a bummer. Because there are a whole lot of us that will never use PayPal, ever. I’m sure the sculptor looses a fair amount of business not having other pay options. Luckily, the NobEssence site offers links to other online stores where you can purchase these marvels using a credit card. So hurray for that!
If you have a prostate, or know someone who does, this is the ideal holiday gift for him. Get ‘em while they’re hot!” 😉
ENJOY
I’m Shocked! —— Part 3
REVIEW #24
Hey sex fans,
We’re back with our final installment in this series that focuses on the pleasures of Erotic Electro Stimulation. And the exceptional products of Paradise Electro Stimulations, PES.
Last week, as you recall, the Dr Dick Review Crew and I introduced you to a slew of very cool PES Electrodes that attach to the PES Power Box. These are the thingies and that actually deliver the stimulation. If you somehow missed either of the first two parts of our presentation, look for REVIEW #22 and #23.
This week the Review Crew will introduce you to even more PES Electrodes. This week they are all pretty much gender specific — for those among us with manly parts.
This week’s Review Crew include:
Glenn & Hank — Reviews #4, 16, 17, 18, 23
Gina & Kevin — Reviews #4, 13, 16, 17, 18, 23
Glenn & Hank introduce us to the PES Tubular Mid Ring Electrode (C087) $70.00 and the PES Testicle Tubular Electrode (C085) $60.00.
Hank: “Ya see, the Tubular Mid-Ring is designed to stimulate various
points along your cock shat.”
Glenn: “And the Testicle Tubular Electrode
Hank: “Put these babies together and you have some amazing sensations playing off one another all over your cock and balls.”
Glenn: “The best thing is the Mid-Ring is completely adjustable. It’s made of a flexible tubing that you can disconnect from the brass connection and cut to fit any spot on your dick, even right under your dickhead, like the PES Corona Stimulator. Reconnect the tubing to the brass connection and you’re all set.”
Hank: “The same is true for the Testicle Tubular Electrode. So no one has to worry about a ‘one size fits all’ situation. Because as we all know there is no such thing when it comes to cock and balls.”
Glenn: “I hope you’re all getting the picture that these electrodes, as well as several other single-pole electrodes, can be use to stimulate multiple areas at one time.”
Hank: “In fact, the Power Box is so versatile you can even rig up a three-electrode configuration. For example — one on your dick, one on your balls and one up your ass.”
Glenn: “O baby, oh baby you make me so hot!”
Hank: “Sheesh!”
Glenn: “Hey, I’m just sayin.”
Hank>: “Ok, so here’s how it went down. Glenn and I both wanted to try out this cock ‘n balls configuration, but I got to go first this time. The Mid-Ring was the perfect size for me just as it came out of the package, so I didn’t have to trim it. It landed just south of my frenulum. Perfect! The Testicle Tubular Electrode was a little trickier to get situated, but that wasn’t really much of a problem.”
Glenn: “Once Hank got himself all strapped in, so to speak, I connected the electrodes to the Power Box using the leads. We also made a little side wager. I suggested that Hank trust me with the applying the juice.”
Hank: “Actually, he’s not telling you the whole story. He also wanted to restrain my hands and feet. Glenn takes to the whole bondage thing like a pig to shit, but this was new territory for me. The one being restrained that is.”
Glenn: “So I said oh so sweetly, ‘you can trust me, babe’.”
Hank: “Except he said it with this evil grin on his face. So I’m thinking it’s payback time for everything I’ve dished out to him over the years.”
Glenn: “You know that’s not how thing work. Although the idea of stickin’ it to him real good while he were helpless did cross my mind. I guess I do have a sadistic streak after all. Who knew? And just so you know, I wasn’t talking about a full-on bondage scene anyway. Just some innocent velcro wrist and ankle restraints. What a big sissy!”
Hank: “In the end I gave in and let him have his way. This was a true role reversal for me and it did take some getting used to. But almostimmediately my mind was distracted by the intense sensations in my groin. I think not being able to control the sensations myself added to the intensity. I now know what being a bottom is like. While I don’t want to bottom every day, it was a very interesting experience.”
Glenn: “And I like being a bottom more than being a top, but as Hank said, this was fuckin’ hot. As I started to adjust the knobs on the Power Box, I could read the pleasure on Hank’s face. His dick swelled to gigantic proportions. I would have loved to jump on top of him and slide that thing in my ass. But like a good top, this wasn’t about me.”
Hank: “Glenn is right; I’ve never seen my dick bigger. And again, this was a totally ‘hands free’ ride. It was just the electrodes and my meat and nuts. Amazing!”
Glenn: “We didn’t rush anything. In fact, every time Hank came close to cuming I dialed back the power. We did this edge play for over 20 minutes until he was beggin’ me for release. Being in control of his orgasm like this was a complete turn on for me. I never thought I had it in me.”
Hank: “It’s true, man, I was practically crying to have him make me cum. My balls were so full they ached. And the Testicle Tubular Electrode made them feel like basketballs. It was so fuckin intense.”
Glenn: “I finally granted his wish, but not before I shot my wad all over his face.”
Hank: “The bastard actually shot first while I was still moaning to bust my nut. Finally, he let me cum. And I thought I was gonna die right then and there.”
Glenn: “He let out a growl that came from so far down inside him it was like some wild beast. The neighbors must have thought, WTF!
Hank: “I was completely spent. I could barely move.”
Glenn: “It was totally awesome.”
Hank: “Glenn got his chance with these puppies a couple nights later. But we’ll save that story for another time.” is designed to wrap around your nuts, as well as separating each of your balls to spread the e-stim all over your family jewels. You get to adjust the focus by tightening or loosening the fit of the tubing.
Gina & Kevin introduce us to the PES Tubular Base Ring Electrode (C086) $70.00 and the PES Prostate Stimulator Electrode (C092) $133.00.
Gina: “When Kevin and I met, I was like this good little Catholic girl. About as sexually adventurous as I ever got was having sex with the lights on. I mean it, I must have been a real piece of work.”
Kevin: “Yeah, it was like she had just escaped from a convent or something. She was like totally adorable, with this knock-out body, but she was so timid and shy and like completely inexperienced.”
Gina: “But look at me now! Thanks to Kevin and our own devious Dr DickI’ve gotten in touch with my inner ‘Dom’. Despite my feminist leanings, I thought women were always subservient to men in the bedroom. I never realized there were ‘Sub’ men. And anyone who didn’t know Kevin and my little secret would never guess he loves to be dominated. I mean, it came as a huge surprise to me.”
Kevin: “It’s true. Until that fateful first review I did as part of Dr Dick’s Review Crew. I never new I had an inner ‘Sub’ just dying to get out. I just thought I like things in my ass.”
Gina: “There’s so much more to this sex stuff than what meets the eye, huh? I am so grateful to have had this opportunity to wake myself up to the erotic world around me.”
Kevin: “So we have two electrodes to tell you about. The Tubular Base Ring is much like the one Glenn and Hank used, only it’s larger and fits down at the base of your cock. It’s designed to send intense stimulation all over your dick and down into your pelvis. Because it’s uni-polar, ya have to use it in combination with another electrode. Ya get it?”
Gina: “To be truthful, we didn’t get it right away either. We both discovered that a single pole electrode, like the Tubular Base Ring, has to be used in conjunction with another single pole electrode to complete the erotic electro circuit.”
Kevin: “Doesn’t she sound like Suzie Scientist?”
Gina: “Shut up!”
Kevin: “Luckily we had this other electrode, the Prostate Stimulator, (Mmmm, prostate stimulation) to use with the Base Ring.”
Gina: “Yeah, I mean how lucky was that, butt boy?”
Kevin: “By the way, the Tubular Ring can be cut to size to allow for amore individual fit. The Prostate Stimulator, on the other hand is made up of two basic components: A flexible T-shaped stem with a chrome plated electro conductive sphere at the tip.”
Gina: “The flexibility is what makes this thing so special. It focuses the electro stimulation right where you want it.”
Kevin: “You can bend the vertical flexible shaft so it lands the conductive sphere smack-dab on your P-spot. Trust me, this will give you a “hands free” cum shot for damn sure.”
Gina: “I really got into this e-stim thing this time around. I confess I was way too anxious about the whole thing last time.”
Kevin: “Yeah, she really got into it this time. Her inner ‘Dom’ took over. She even dressed the part — black stockings and stiletto heals. She cuffed me, both hands and feet, to the mattress (Thanks Sportsheets!) and teased me with her strap-on. I got her one for our anniversary.”
Gina: “Isn’t he romantic?”
Kevin: “I was helpless, so she had to lube me up and place the electrodes and leads.”
Gina: “I used latex gloves, so no worries. By the way, I discovered that latex gloves make a nice smacking sound when you slapping a bad boy’s bare butt.”
Kevin: “Isn’t SHE romantic? Oh SNAP!”
Gina: “I started to really get off on the power I had over him. I never really felt anything like it in the past. It’s funny, because I seemed to know exactly what to do right from the start. Basically, I did what Glenn did to Hank, the whole edging thing, although I didn’t know it was called edging.”
Kevin: “She was all about teasing me with the juice. She started real slow, too slow in fact. I told her she had to turn the damned thing up; I could barely feel it. She slapped my ass real good and told me pipe down because now she was in charge.”
Gina: “I loved it. I even goosed the power up a bit just to prove my point. The shock made him stand up and take note, both literally and figuratively.”
Kevin: “I think I’ve created a monster.”
Gina: “You love it. So I kept this up while I turned my strap-on dong vibe on myself. The more Kevin was writhing in ecstasy and the more he was telling me the dirty things he wanted me to do to him, the closer I got to cuming myself.”
Kevin: “This was the most intense prostate stimulation I ever felt. And because the sensations were also all up and down my cock at the same time I could barely stand it.”
Gina: “We miraculously came at the same time, which like never happens.”
Kevin: “I know; and I didn’t even touch my dick or Gina for that matter. It was like this wild sexual energy was passing between us.”
Gina: “We both recommend Erotic Electro Stimulation to anyone who wants something a little out of the ordinary.”
Kevin: “And you can quote us on that.”
The Review Crew wants to remind everyone of the importance of lubrication when playing with EES. And make sure it is water based lube. Shaving the areas where the electrodes will be placed is highly recommended.
Clean up is relatively easy too. Most of the electrodes can be cleaned up with a few drops of dishwashing liquid and a soft, lint-free towel. They can also be sanitized using a 10% bleach solution. But NEVER SOAK your electrodes. You can also spray your electrodes with isopropyl alcohol before drying and storing.
In closing, we want to say that the PES website was an essential resource for all of us before we started our play as well as in helping us understand how Erotic Electro Stimulation works. We encourage you to visit their website too. It’s chock-full of very useful and informative stuff. They have galleries, safety tips, product information, tons of links and even a fantastic discussion board, where you can interact with other EES connoisseurs.
ENJOY
I’m Shocked! —— Part 2
REVIEW #23
Hey sex fans,
We’re back with Part 2 in this series that will focus on the exceptional products from the pervy and oh so edgy folks at Paradise Electro Stimulations, PES.
Last week, as you recall, the Dr Dick Review Crew and I introduced you to the concept of Erotic Electro Stimulation in general and the PES Power Box in particular. If you somehow missed this important first part of our presentation, look for Review #22.
This week the Review Crew will introduce you to some of the PES Electrodes that attach to the PES Power Box. These are the thingies and that actually deliver the stimulation. You’ll notice that some of these products are gender specific, others are can be used by either sex.
This week’s Review Crew include:
- Glenn & Hank — Reviews #4, 16, 17, 18
- Gina & Kevin — Reviews #4, 13, 16, 17, 18
- Joy & Dixie— Reviews #6, 12, 16, 17, 18
Joy & Dixie introduce us to the newly redesigned PES Vaginal Plug. It directs the flow of Erotic Electro Stimulating current right inside your pussy. You lucky Ladies! All us pussy-less folk can only guess at the bliss we’re missing. By the way, neither Joy nor Dixie had ever played with Erotic Electro Stimulation before.
PES Vaginal Plug (C066) $190.00
Joy: “This plug has two conductive surfaces, one on each side of the beautifully sleek acrylic shaft. We discovered that the plug works best when fully inserted in my pussy before we turned on the Power Box.“
Dixie: “Also, be aware that shifting the plug once it’s in place will redirect the stimulation, which just makes sense, right?”
(Like we learned last week, it’s always advisable to lower power levels before shifting the position of any of the PES Electrodes. And when adjusting the levels, the higher the pulse and frequency, the more intense the stimulation.)
Joy: “Once I inserted the plug and took a few deep breaths to relax, I slowly began to adjust the pulse and frequency knobs upward. I began to feel involuntary muscle contractions inside my pussy. This was a totally new sensation for me. It was completely unlike what I experience with an insertable vibrator. In record time I had my first orgasm. I was like, ‘holy shit, I am in love!”
Dixie: “It was so amazing to watch. Joy didn’t do a thing, but lean back against a pillow and manipulate the knobs on the Power Box. The PES Vaginal Plug did all the work. When Joy uses one of her dildos, even one of the vibrating ones, she always has to manually pump it in and out.”
Joy: “I can safely say that this was my very first hands-free orgasm ever. It was completely effortless. I could feel the electro stimulation in my clit too. It was totally wild. Like Dixie said, it wasn’t friction that was causing the sensations, because there was no in and out movement. Over the next 15 or 20 minutes I had multiple orgasms. But there was none of that ‘raw’ feeling in my pussy afterward, like I often get when I use my vibes.”
Dixie: “I was way more nervous about using this thing than Joy. I had to talk myself down from connecting the dots, as it were. Here is this thing, the Power Box plugged into an outlet in the wall and wires from it were attached to the Vaginal Plug. And that was now inside my cunt. Good thing Joy went first, or I wouldn’t have been able to get past the whole electrocution scene playing out in my head. Joy held my hand and I adjusted the knobs on the Power Box. It was such an unfamiliar sensation that it took me a while to decide if I liked it or not. I did notice that adjusting the Vaginal Plug placement and depth in my cunt stimulated different nerve paths, which produced a variety of sensations. Once I could relax and give myself the space to experience the tingly feelings, I too had a whopper of an orgasm. Relaxation is key, at least at first.”
Joy: “There a round opening in the base that allows access to one’s clit for manual stimulation. Not that I needed that necessarily. It also comes with these dainty latex straps to hold the thing in place. Dixie like the straps more than I did.”
Dixie: “Lubrication is a must! I mean, that seems obvious but lube is important for more than just making insertion easier. It also plays an essential role in the effectiveness of the electrode. We used ElectroLube; and recommend it highly.”
Joy: “We both realize that these are very expensive toys, but boy are they worth it.”
Dixie: “Getting past the wires was more difficult for me. But I agree with Joy, this is amazing stuff.”
Glenn & Hank introduce us to the PES Acrylic Anal Plug. It directs the flow of Erotic Electro Stimulating current right inside your ass. Since we all have an asshole, none of us will be left wondering what we’re missing, just because we don’t have the right parts. Hank and Glenn have a limited amount of experience with e-stim. They use Electro Stimulation as part of their BDSM play.
PES Acrylic Anal Plug (C072) $150.00
Glenn: “The PES Electro Anal Plug is beautiful. It’s a smooth acrylic plug with conductive surfaces on either side. These stimulate your sphincter muscle, prostate and all up inside your hole. If you’re a bottom, you’re gonna love this shit.”
Hank: “He knows of what he speaks!
Glenn: “Unlike Joy and Dixie, me and Hank like it nasty.
Hank: “The nastier the better.”
Glenn: “Like all butt plugs, the PES Electro Anal Plug slips in your ass allowing your sphincter to close down around the notch in the plug keeping the puppy in place.”
Hank: “Glenn’s got the tightest ass of any power bottom I’ve ever known. Must be all those kegels. When he clamps down on my fingers, it’s enough to snap ‘em in two.”
Glenn: “Awww shucks, you say the sweetest things, babe.”
Hank: “We want to reinforce everything that Dixie and Joy said about the importance of lube. Not only for insertion purposes but to ass-ist in conductivity.”
Glenn: “So I’m in the sling at our bud’s dungeon. Hank and our friend, Tad, are workin’ me over real good with some fine rope work. I have a gag in my mouth.”
Hank: “That gag provides me the only peace I get all week.”
Glenn: “BITCH! Anyhow, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, I have a gag in my mouth and a hood over my head and some weights on my balls. The paddle stings. The cane raises little welts on my glues. It hurts like hell and I’m in heaven.”
Hank: “Then comes the ass ass-ult. We lube up Glenn’s ass and the Electro Anal Plug and drive it home. This is not a super-sized plug by any means, but it doesn’t have to be.”
Glenn: “Hee haw! Slap me and call me names.”
Hank: “Glenn is such a pain pig. Tad and I add a blindfold, check the ropes and give Glenn the juice.”
Glenn: “I can’t feel anything but the sensations in my ass. I buck as much as I can with pain/pleasure. My ass is on fire, but I still clamp my sphincter down on the plug for extra measure.”
Hank: “Precum dribbles from his cock. He writhes as he rides the edge. Bubbles of saliva encircle the ball gag. There’s a grimace on his face. Finally, he raises his middle finger in a “fuck you” salute and we shut down the Power Box.”
Glenn: “When I’m gagged the “fuck you” salute is my safe word, or better my safe gesture. Twenty minutes of this and I am completely spent. I don’t even need to cum, I am that satisfied.”
Hank & Glenn introduce us to the PES Corona Stimulator. It’s one three corona focused PES Electrodes that target the Erotic Electro Stimulation to a your cockhead. Pity the dick-less among us who’ll never know the ecstasy of this kind of erotic charge.
PES Corona Stimulator (C082) $79.00
Hank: “While Glenn was taking a smoke break over in the corner. Tad and I had the Power Box to ourselves. I was eager to try the PES Corona Stimulator.”
Glenn: “I’m actually surprised Hank was up for this. I’m the edgy pervert one in the family.
Hank: “Part of being on the Review Crew is expanding our limits, right? And I’m into my dick the way Glenn is into his ass. That’s why the PES 
Corona Stimulator interested me. So I thought I would take it for a little test drive.
Glenn: “This, of course, aroused my attention right away. Hank has the most beautiful, big, fat uncut dick in town. I get all moist just seein it flop around when he’s strollin’ around the house in the buff. So I mozied on over to where Tad and he are hookin’ him up to PES Corona Stimulator.”
Hank: “I skinned back my foreskin and slipped the electrode over my dickhead. I confess to being a little nervous, which actually turned out to be a good thing. It would have been really uncomfortable trying to slip the head of my cock into this thing if I was hard.”
Glenn: “I told you he had a big dick.”
Hank: “I adjusted the PES Corona Stimulator
Glenn: “Ya gotta use a lot of lube for this.”
Hank: “I used the Corona Stimulator with the Tubular Mid-Ring, which promised to pretty much carry the stimulation through my entire shaft. Once I had everything in place and wired up I was ready to go for it.
Glenn: “Hank was still a little tentative, so I decided to put on a little show for him. I got down on my knees and started to deep throat Tad’s meat. This got Hank’s dick to swell.”
Hank: “I really couldn’t jerk myself, like I normally would, so I started to fiddle with the knobs on the Power Box. I began to feel a tingle as I tuned up the juice. In moments I was rock hard. The sensations were incredible. Before that night I had never experienced a “hands free” orgasm. It was fuckin fantastic. I thought I was gonna cum my guts out.
Glenn: “It was pretty, alright.
Hank: “Here’s a tip: be sure shave any hair you might have off your shaft. You don’t want hot spots, so that the top part laid over my piss slit. The ring goes around the head and connection doohickey hits me at my frenulum.”
Gina & Kevin introduce us to the PES Electro-Flex Anal Plug. It directs the flow of Erotic Electro Stimulating current right inside your ass. Again, since we all have an asshole, none of us have to miss out on all the fun just because we don’t have the right parts. Kevin and Gina are e-stim virgins.
PES Electro-Flex Anal Plug (C071) $196.00
Gina: “Look everybody, we’re back with yet another butt toy for my sweet little Kevie’s booty.”
Kevin: “It does look like I’m getting all the attention, huh?
Gina: “It’s ok, because this Electro stuff scares me. I mean I know it’s safe and all, but like Dixie I have this natural aversion to wires and my private parts. I admit; I’m old fashioned that way.”
Kevin: “LOL! Yeah she’s just like the gal that married dear old dad. NOT!”
Gina: “Shut up!”
Kevin: “Moving right along, the PES Electro-Flex Anal Plug
Gina: “I have to admit; it is pretty harmless looking. And it’s flexible to a degree. You can even bend it a bit to an angle and it will hold its shape. I would consider using it myself, as a pussy plug, but not with it plugged in.”
Kevin: “The plug has two separate electro pads, neither one is as obvious as Glenn’s. Both are positioned on the plug to stimulate precise areas. One pad runs the entire length of the plug, for contact with my sphincter muscle. The second, smaller pad is positioned opposite the first, along the plug’s head where it stimulated my prostate. We used plenty of the ElectroLube that came with the plug, both inside my ass and on the plug itself.”
Gina: “By the way, we learned that you can use this electrode alone or in conjunction with another electrode, like the one that would go on your penis. But more about that later.”
Kevin: “Yeah ok so, here I am all lubed up and ready to go and then I get cold feet. I know, what a pussy, huh?
Gina: “I think that was my fault. I was all nervous and I’m sure that my anxiety made him nervous. Then finally I just said, ‘Go for it. How bad could it be?’”
Kevin: “I began to turn up the juice, as Hank put it. It was like so friggin amazing. The first thing I felt was involuntary muscle contractions in my sphincter. This made the plug kinda dance rhythmically in my hole. I almost shot my wad right then and there.”
Gina: “OMG, you should have seen his face. It was like he saw the heavens open. He kept trying to grab my hand and guide it to his penis. But I was afraid I was gonna get a shock.”
Kevin: “I kept telling her it would be ok. I certainly could feel the sensations in my cock and balls, but not in my hands when I touched myself.”
Gina: “Finally I relented and let him eat me out while this thing was working his butt. I know, generous of me, huh? He devoured my pussy with an unexpected hunger. I guess I need to feed his bottom like this more often.”
Kevin: “I know; I was like some sex craved maniac. She loved it. So did I. We even came together, and I didn’t even touch my dick. That was like a total first for me.
Guys, if you’re into your ass, like me, there is nothing like Erotic Electro Stimulation. Period.” is totally different from the plug that Glenn had in his talented ass. Instead of being made of acrylic, like his, mine is made of a conductive silicone elastomer. This makes it kinda soft as opposed to rigid, like Glenn’s.
I’m Shocked! —— Part 1
REVIEW #22
Hey sex fans,
Its time to crank things up a notch (or ten)!
To all of you out there who have been writing in to tell me (us) how much you like my (our) product reviews — the Dr Dick Product Review Crew and I say THANK YOU!
To all of you who have been writing in and asking me (us) to please review some stuff for hardcore perverts — the Dr Dick Product Review Crew and I say THANK YOU and WILL DO.
Of course this later group of my audience has been under served. So far the Dr Dick Review Crew hasn’t ventured very far from the whole vanilla thing. As much as we’ve loved the products we’ve reviewed so far, one can hardly accuse us of being particularly edgy. But that ends today. In fact, the next few reviews will be decidedly on wild side. And since where we’re goin’ is pretty unfamiliar territory for most of my audience as well as some of my Review Crew, we’ll also be doing some sexual enrichment and education to accompany the reviews. Think of it as a little kink tutorial.
We begin with Part 1 in this series that will focus on the exceptional products from the very edgy and oh so pervy folks at Paradise Electro Stimulations, PES.
While we all know the joys associated with vibration (just look at how many vibe products we’ve already reviewed), fewer of us know the intense pleasure/pain associated with erotic electro stimulation; or, as those in the know call it, e-stim.
However, that may be changing. All the evidence out there points to a growing number of people experimenting with e-stim. The majority of them, 70% or so, use these products for orgasmic pleasure play. A minority, 30% or so, use the products as part of BDSM, or pain play. So I guess ya’ll can see how a product line that is this versatile will inevitably enjoy a richly deserved commercial success.
But wait a minute; I can see that I’ve lost a good number of you. “What in the world is he talkin about? I never heard of erotic electro stimulation. What the hell is that?” Ok, so here’s where my sexual enrichment/education tutorial will come in handy.
Electro stimulation is basically the administration of shocks of electricity in nonconvulsive doses. The medical industry has been using e-stim for decades mostly for the alleviation of pain and to enhance muscle function. (TENS unit) Leave it to the truly creative perverts among us to repurpose this concept to deliver excruciating erotic pleasure and/or delicious erotic pain. And even the most vanilla among us already know that there is often only a very fine line, if there is a line at all, between pleasure and pain.
Electro stimulation enhances nerve impulses providing very different sensations from those produced by a vibrator. Vibrators can only stimulate the surface. Electro stimulation merges with one’s natural electrical body impulses to nerve endings. This triggers enhanced arousal and intense orgasmic response. Ya simply can’t match this intensification using a regular vibrator.
The primary product we well be reviewing over the next few weeks is the PES Power Box (C063) $260.00
Optimally designed to enhance your body’s natural erotic response, the PES Power Box delivers low frequency electrical stimulation to the nerve and muscle tissue in your genital area through a the use of an extensive line of PES Electrodes.
The PES Power Box also allows one to adjust the frequency and pulse rate to attain precisely the desired stimulation.
The PES Power Box can be used with up to four single, or two double PES Electrodes. Push-button switches allow for a momentary pause of stimulation. Adjustments are further controlled through the use of two POWER knobs, a PULSE knob, and two FREQUENCY knobs — one on the face of the box and a fine adjustment on the side. If this is beginning to sound like a page from the mad scientist’s diary, you wouldn’t be alone with that thought. This is not everyone’s cup of tea, as it were. Even some of my most stouthearted members of the Review Crew decided to pass on the opportunity.
The PES Power Box comes with an A/C Adapter and two pair of low profile leads to attach to your choice of electrodes. It will also operate one electrode with a 9-volt alkaline battery (not included).
As you can tell from the price tag on just the PES Power Box alone, this area of play takes a substantial financial commitment. But as you will see with our reviews, the investment is worth it. Especially if you’re looking for something really out of the ordinary and edgy.
There is also a significant learning curve involved with this type of play. Safety must be your primary concern. That’s why the people at Paradise Electro Stimulations go out of their way to walk you through the process every step of the way. Here are some of the most important things you should know before you begin play.
- Never apply any electrical stimulation above the waist, especially near the heart.
- Never use the PES Power Box in or near water. (Like duh!)
- Turn the Power Box off when moving, re-adjusting, or applying electrodes. And if contact is lost, immediately turn off the power to the power source before reapplying or reinserting the electrode.
- Use latex gloves when adjusting, removing, or re-inserting the electrodes. Even with the power off, this is a sensible safety precaution. It is critically important for those who use manual stimulation in addition to erotic electro stimulation.
- Wear latex gloves when touching the person attached to the Power Box.
- Never use an anal stimulator anywhere else on the body. While electrodes can be cleaned and disinfected, there is a possibility of infection. PES also suggests that anal and urethral electrodes not be shared.
PES recommends the use of a proper lubricant with all PES electrodes.
A good lubricant not only lubricates but also decreases the possibility of hot spots. The Dr Dick Review Crew used the PES ElectroLube that was included in our review package. But PES also suggests that one can use, get this — olive oil, with most of their electrodes. It won’t increase conductivity like a water-based lube, but it will smooth the sensation and it won’t dry out as quickly as water-based lube. Water-based lubricants can be used with most of the electrodes.
DON’T ever use silicone-based lubricants. Silicone is an insulator and can reduce conductivity. It will also degrade the silicone-based electrodes.
We found that adjusting the amount of lube we used allowed us to further regulate the stimulation.
Now that we have this tutorial out of the way, the Dr Dick Review Crew will turn their attention to the individual electrodes we have for review next time.
Stay tuned!
Wood U? Could you?
REVIEW #21
Hey sex fans,
I have a couple of swell products to tell you about. Both come from the good people at New Generation Labs.
Ya’ll know how suspicious I am (and so ought you be) of so many claims being made by some who produce herbal supplements, especially as these products apply to sexual functioning and wellbeing, right? I mean there is so much crap (some of it even dangerous crap) and so much hype out there that it’s no wonder folks, like me (and hopefully you), often dismiss the entire industry as a bunch of snake oil promoters.
Then out of the blue, miracle of miracles, one happens upon the good stuff amidst the dross. And it’s like HURRAY! And my faith is restored.
I’ve had one such (actually two) eureka moment(s) lately that I want to tell you about. Let’s do these babies one at a time, shall we?
Biogenica hGH+ — (30 ml) $34.95
For review purposes, the manufacturer sent me two bottles of Biogenica hGH+. By the way, it’s the only hGH formulation which carries an FDA 
Certification. That, I can tell you, helped calm some of my initial misgivings. The product delivery system is an (sublingual) oral spray. I liked this feature a lot. It sure beats skarffing down a bunch of pills. Besides the absorption rate is much higher with this sort of delivery system. So there’s a real big plus right there.
Unfamiliar with human Growth Hormone (GH) and its benefits, are ya? Let me try to explain as best as I can, using layman’s terms. Growth Hormone is a peptide hormone that stimulates growth and cell reproduction in humans and other animals. It is secreted by our pituitary gland, which is located deep in our brain. GH is essential to healthy bones, muscles and organs. Unfortunately, as we age GH secretion diminishes. (Damn the bad luck!)
In fact, clinical research found that GH concentration diminishes by 80% between the ages of 20 and 60. (And when you are as ancient as I am you know the natural font of this stuff is pert-near dry!) This lessening of output accounts for some of the more familiar side effects of aging, including a higher proportion of fat and a less lean body mass. It also affects our skin and can impact on our libido and mood, among other things.
Some age related deterioration, of course, is best attributed to the unhealthy lifestyle most of us live. It can’t all be blamed on our decreasing hormone production. I mean, how many of us can actually claim we are scrupulous abut proper nutrition and exercise, which keeps our bodies and minds in peak condition while fighting the onset of aging? (I know I try, but life is always getting in the way, don’t cha know.)
So ok, I did the recommended dose of Biogenica hGH+ — three sprays, under the tongue twice a day for as long as my supply lasted (approximately 6 weeks). This was plenty of time to diminish any residual concern I may have had about a placebo effect.
I am happy to report that I was very pleased with the results. I had a discernable increase in exercise tolerance and endurance. My workouts were above normal. (And that’s saying something for someone at my seriously advanced age.) I can’t honestly say that I lost body fat, but I wasn’t really working at that either. I did notice an increase in my day-to-day energy level, as well as an improvement in my overall mood. And that made everyone in my life a little bit happier.
And the icing on the cake, so to speak was a noticable increase in my libido. So yea for that! (I can’t tell if that made anyone else in my life happier, but it sure did me.)
I caution anyone from thinking that this is the fountain of youth. It is not. I also want to dissuade anyone from believing an herbal supplement, even a really terrific one like Biogenica hGH+, will supplant the need for a healthy lifestyle. It won’t.
That being said, I am pleased to recommend this product to any one (woman or man) who might be feeling a bit droopy lately.
Life got ya down? Not much zip in your step? Do ya need to get some lead in your pencil, as it were? Well look no further sex fans; help is near to hand. (Say, I wonder if we should send a boat-load of this stuff to John McCain? God knows he needs something.)
Next we have ROPEX; a sexual support formula for men.
ROPEX $39.95
For review purposes, the manufacturer sent me three bottles of ROPEX, each containing 30 tablets. This translates to roughly a 23-day supply (4 tablets twice a day for four days — The Loading Phase; and 3 tablets a day there after — The Maintenance Dose).
ROPEX is the granddaddy of sexual enhancement products. It’s been around since the mid-1960’s. (I suppose one might rightly conclude that the product’s longevity in the marketplace has something to do with its efficacy.) It was formulated in Sweden as a means of invigorating the workings of one’s epididymides, vas deferens, Cowper’s gland and prostate. This is, as I hope ya’ll know, the part of the male reproductive system responsible for the lion share of our jizz production.
If, as the manufacturer claims, ROPEX increases spooge volume, it would naturally follow that it would also increase the number of ejaculatory contractions. More spunk necessitates more contractions to expel it, right? And that, sex fans, is a highly sought after effect for most men.
Guys get it in their head that the volume of cum and the velocity of their money shot is somehow associated with virility. I’m not sure I buy that logic, but who among us doesn’t like a nice puddle of dickwad to play with and admire?
Before we get to my findings, there are a few things I’d like to point out.
- ROPEX is 100% natural; made from non-allergenic pollen. Lots of similar products are laced with knock-off pharmaceuticals, ya know. And that’s never a good thing.
- ROPEX is not a libido enhancer either. You might want to look to Biogenica hGH+ for that.
- ROPEX is not a Viagra substitute.
The claim is that ROPEX will boost the volume one’s ejaculate and increase one’s orgasmic contractions.
So does it live up to its claims, you ask? Well yeah, it does. I did notice an obvious pearl jam volume increase. But this has never been something I’ve been overly consumed with. I guess I’ve always been blessed with a big load. Maybe that’s a genetic thing; who knows.
However, I certainly will recommend ROPEX to all the men who write to me with their worries about puny spunk production. For all the guys out there who lament their dribble when they really want to shoot; why not give this product a whirl. You may be pleasantly surprised.
Here’s a tip: the makers of these two products, New Generation Labs, offers a special — Order 2 Get 1 Free Option. They also have a convenient auto-billing/auto-shipping option available for those who want a regular supply of their products (at an additional 10% discount) sent to them without the bother of going online to reorder. Pretty cool, huh?
ENJOY
DAMN! That was close.
REVIEW #19
Ultimate Personal Shaver Kit – $79.95
Hey sex fans,
I have the niftiest little gizmo here (actually two nifty gizmos) from the swell folks at The Ultimate Personal Shaver. I have two because they sent me a kit to review. Nut you can also buy these puppies separately too.
Anyhow, the Ultimate Personal Shaver System is a clever new way to trim and/or shave your naughty parts, and even some parts that are not so naughty. But I am getting ahead of myself. So unlike me, huh?
Let me just say I wish I had these shavers available during my last video shoot. Despite my long-suffering pleas to the talent to NEVER to shave their ding-dongs the day of the porn shoot. Do you think they listen? NO, they don’t. So there we were shooting scene 1 — all lights, camera and action. Things were gettin hot and heavy when what do my sore eyes detect? A smear of blood on one of the actor’s leg then more blood on the other guy’s abdomen. In no time at all it looked like we were shooting a surgery scene, not porn. YIKES!
Sure enough, one of the performers had nicked himself manscaping his pubes earlier that morning. The throws of the sex scene opened the cut and that was all she wrote. Filming stopped, erections were lost and production costs escalated. And it was all because the monkey didn’t take my advice about the shaving thing. D’oh!
Don’t let this happen to you, sex fans!
The Ultimate Personal Shaver System is a must have for all porn stars — women, men and everyone in between. Drag queens and dyke daddies will love these shavers too. And if you, my precious reader, do not fall into any one of these categories you’ll still love The Ultimate Personal Shaver System. I mean, who among us doesn’t have at least one itsy bitsy hair issue that needs attending?
Listen up; get one of these kits and there will be no more painful wax jobs, ingrown hairs or the heartbreak of a chemical or razor burn. Just smooth, silky skin where there ought be smooth, silky skin, don’t ‘cha know.
But wait; let’s just say you are opposed to wackin’ your bush into submission, that you’re one of them “natural” guys or gals. Hey, that’s cool! More power too ya. In fact, Dr Dick is sick to death of seein all that completely shaved beaver and bat N balls. What gives with this troubling trend anyhow?
But even us purists have unsightly nostril hair, unruly eyebrows and ear hair to contend with, right? The Ultimate Personal Trimmer takes care of these problems in a jiffy.
For all of you folks out there hell-bent on a manicured cooch or a styled johnson here’s what ya do.
- Make sure your skin is dry.
- Apply the Ultimate Shaving Talc using the jim-dandy application brush
- Pull the skin taught for a close shave
- Hold the Ultimate Personal Trimmer at a 45-degree angle to the skin and have at it.
Once you’ve shaved the hair to your satisfaction, move on to the Ultimate Personal Finishing Shaver.
- Apply a bit more shaving talc
- Pull skin taught
- Hold the shaver directly against the skin
- Move it up and down and in a circular motion, and PRESTO!
This will remove any angry stubble leaving your skin as smooth as the day you were born. Amazing, huh?
As you can tell from my comments above, I like this shaving system a lot. They are very discreet, fully functional and nicely designed. I was, however, a bit surprised to find that the Ultimate Personal Trimmer was as lightweight as it is. It looks like it’s made of metal, but it’s really plastic. I wish it were made of more substantial materials, like the Ultimate Personal Finishing Shaver. I wonder why it’s not. I haven’t used it enough times to know if it’ll last, so the jury is still out on that.
One final thing, ya know how I’m always raggin on manufacturers to do the GREEN thing, right? Well I don’t know how practical this is, but as a conscientious consumer I would happily pay more for products like these if they were rechargeable. Who needs another battery-operated device anyhow? I mean, in the long run batteries cost a lot more than the added up-front cost of a rechargeable model.
ENJOY!
Sport Fuck, Part 2
REVIEW #18
Dr Dick’s Product Review Crew is back with their reviews of the remaining group of intriguing and oh so practical novelties from the pleasure-oriented folks over at Sportsheets.
The Dr Dick’s Product Review Crew introduces you to even more sexy fun products that will liven up even the most ho-hum sex life.
If you missed Sport Fuck, Part 1; look for it here.
Let’s check in with our intrepid reviewers.
The Under The Bed Restraint System
Dr Dick’s Product Review Crew is back with their reviews of the remaining group of intriguing and oh so practical novelties from the pleasure-oriented folks over at Sportsheets.
The Dr Dick’s Product Review Crew introduces you to even more sexy fun products that will liven up even the most ho-hum sex life.
If you missed Sport Fuck, Part 1; look for it here.
Let’s check in with our intrepid reviewers.
The Under The Bed Restraint System $44.95
This turns your bed into a bondage playground. Simply slide the straps under any mattress, and position them around the bed to create various bondage possibilities.
Glenn & Hank
Hank: “Remember what we were saying last time about being unable to outfit our apartment with all the fun stuff you’d find in your average, well-appointed dungeon? Well Glenn and I took on this review in the hopes we might be able to create a little bondage magic without the screw anchors and bolts in the ceiling and walls needed for more traditional apparatus.”
Glenn: “Yeah, I love being restrained spread eagle on the bed. I love relinquishing control to my partner(s) and being ravaged by him/them.
Hank: “It’s totally hot for me too. And now we can play this out on our own and in our own bedroom.”
Glenn: “Being a bondage submissive is liberating for me. It’s like leaving my body in some ways, yet being intensely present at the same time. Do you remember that old song that went — ‘longing for the freedom of my chains’? It’s like that.”
Hank: “So now he’s a fuckin’ poet all of a sudden!”
Glenn: “Don’t listen to him. He’s just jealous! Hank is way too much of a control freak to be a submissive. And remember: Bottoms Rule!”
Hank: “Back to the review, wonder-hole. The Under The Bed Restraint System is not the least be threatening. In fact, if you just wanna mess around with some power-play this is just the thing for you.”
Glenn: “But it also works for those of us who are a tad more hardcore.”
Hank: “And it’s a breeze to set up. It only took a few minutes.”
Glenn: “And like all the Sportsheets products we have here, it’s reasonably priced — under $50!”
Hank: “So if you are a rank amateur or a seasoned pro, you’ll have a great time testing your limits. We did!”
Glenn: “You can say that again. I still have welts on my ass to prove it.”
Hank: “But that’s another story for another time.”
Sportsheets Chest Harness with Dildo
Sportsheets Chest Harness with Dildo —— $59.00
Give your partner a front row seat with this fun harness and dildo set. It’ll spice up your sex life with a little tease and pleasure right in front of your face.
Jack & Karen
Jack: “We had some fun with this, I can tell ya.”
Karen: “Yes we did!”
Jack: “I can eat out my darling wife and bugger her senseless all at the same time.”
Karen: “Yes he can! OMG, am I being too frivolous?”
Jack: “No, my love, you are being just the right amount of frivolous.”
Karen: “OK, I’ll behave.
So now you know my other little kink. I love to have my ass played with.”
Jack: “And I am only too happy to oblige!
In the past it was either ass play or pussy lickin’, never both at the same time. Now she can punish her ass and I can please her cunt without missing a beat.”
Karen: “I wanted to switch out the dildo that comes with this harness for a bigger one, but the ring in the harness doesn’t allow for that. Bummer.”
Jack: “A word to the wise. If your partner really gets into this thing, like you know who over here, be prepared to cum away from the experience with a bruised sternum. I did!”
Sportsheets G-Spot Link
Sportsheets G-Spot Link $29.95
A black nylon strap with neoprene ankle cuffs that makes hitting the G-spot easier and more accurate than ever before. You can use this to tilt the hips and enter the vaginal canal or anus from a new angle making penetration deeper and more satisfying for everyone.
Joy & Dixie
Dixie: “I didn’t get this at all. And we even watched the little video on the Sportsheets site to figure out how this thing works.”
Joy: “Maybe it’s a lesbian thing.”
Dixie: “I mean I understand the concept. You lie face up and wrap your legs around your partner’s back. Your partner can then reach around and fasten the cuffs to hold your legs in place.”
Joy: “This was totally awkward for me, on top, and not comfortable for Dixie on the bottom. The problem may be that I’m bigger around and her legs are pretty short.”
Dixie: “Exactly. This may work for a couple better matched in size than Joy and I. I think this is designed for the fit and trim crowd. Anyhow, they say the cuffs can be adjusted using one hand. We didn’t find that to be true. And while I was on the bottom, I didn’t find this position comfortable at all. My legs were supposed to be relaxed while wrapped around my partner. But that didn’t happen for me. Again the size difference between Joy and I probably accounted for this.”
Joy: “There is another way to use the G-Spot Link, however. And this was only slightly more successful for us. Dixie had her legs in front of her with her knees to her chest, while I put the cuffs on her ankles. I was then able to use the strap like a handle to move her legs from side-to-side.”
Dixie: “So, OK I liked that Joy was able to swing my legs from side to side. This really made my clit stand up and take notice, mostly because my knees were pressed so tightly against my chest. That part was nice.”
Joy: “But we didn’t get the whole deeper penetration thing.”
Dixie: “This position did make for some very fine oral sex though.”
Joy: “Yeah, I got her off several times that way. Like I said, we just didn’t get the G-spot connection thing. Sorry!”
Sportsheets Door Jam Cuffs
Sportsheets Door Jam Cuffs —— $18.95
Just lay the weighted straps over door, close it shut. Turn any room into a playground for kinky bondage play! Tease or please, control or be controlled –– now it’s easy! Each thick nylon strap is connected to a detachable and adjustable velour-lined Velcro cuff. You get 2 cuffs in a package. Buy 2 pairs for total control!
Gina & Kevin
Gina: “Kevin and I had a ball with this.”
Kevin: “First off, we are both virgins to the bondage thing.”
Gina: “I have to say I was more than a little intimidated by the concept of being restrained. So I agreed to go first only when Kevin agreed to go next.”
Kevin: “I was like totally up for that. I even offered to go first. Except Gina didn’t have a clue what to do once I was in the cuffs.”
Gina: “I guess I need to watch more kinky porn, huh?”
Kevin: “So here’s what ya do. Just loop the straps over the top of the door with these bars on the outside and the cuffs on the inside. Then close the door. What could be easier?”
Gina: “I didn’t think the Velcro on the cuffs would be strong enough to secureme especially if I struggled against them. I was oh so wrong. I was like totally helpless.”
Kevin: “I could see that Gina was really leery about doing this, so I wanted to make this first experience really enjoyable. First, I had her face out with her back against the door. This gave me access to her front. I undid her bra and sucked on he nipples. She loves when I do this.”
Gina: “I do love it. Strangely enough, I don’t ever recall experienced this while standing. I’m always laying down when he plays with my nipples. With my hands suspended above my head in the cuffs, I actually found myself buckling my knees and dangling my body weight from my wrists, which added a whole new dimension to the sensations in my breasts.”
Kevin: “I then pulled down her panties, spread her thighs and held them tight. (This is where a second set of these cuffs would have come in handy.) Then I proceeded to lick and nibble at her clit and pussy lips. I gave her a mighty fine tongue fucking too. I drove her fuckin crazy doin that.”
Gina: “It’s true. Suspended as I was and with his hands holding my legs, I really couldn’t escape his mouth. I had to adjust to being helpless like this. But once I let go, I was thrashing about with waves of orgasmic pleasure. I wonder what the neighbors thought.”
Kevin: “Yeah, she was totally out of control. I was pretty worked up myself. So I decided to throw her a fuck right then and there, up against the door.”
Gina: “When he entered me I was able to lift my legs off the floor and wrap them around him. And I did it all while being suspended by my wrists. All this was totally new territory for me.”
Kevin: “We had to wait for another day for me to get cuffed. Gina was just too worn out by her time in the cuffs.”
Gina: “When it was Kevin’s turn two days later, I decided to cuff him facing the door. I added a silk scarf blindfold. He was mine, all mine!”
Kevin: “I was completely surprised by how Gina took to being a dominant top. She apparently has a real sadistic streak that was just waiting to be released.”
Gina: “He’s right, I became like this other person. I loved telling him what to do — spread your legs — and things like that.
I went to work on his butt. Teasing it at first with little scratches, but then I could see he wanted more. So by-god I gave it to him. Open handed slaps and even whacks with one of my hairbrushes make his cheeks glow crimson.”
Kevin: “She was yankin on my nuts like crazy while she was tanning my ass. I loved it. I believe I’ve created a novice dominatrix.”
Gina: “I know, who would have guessed I’d get into this as much as I did? These little Door Jam Cuffs open a whole new world to me and us. These will be a big part of our play together in the future. And we definitely need that second pair for our feet.”
Lap Dancer Harness
Lap Dancer Harness $44.95
Soft neoprene harness adjusts that wraps around your thigh and secures with Velcro. It holds a soft silicone dildo. Get your dollar bills ready for your private dancer.
Jack & Karen
Jack: “The Lap Dancer Harness reminds me of a neoprene brace one uses when he has a pulled muscle. Only this one comes with a wicked twist. There a dildo attached.”
Karen: “You wrap this cuff around your thigh with the dong on the top of your leg and away ya go!”
Jack: “Karen put on a little strip show for me and a couple of our swinger friends, Mark and Linda. We were all cheering her on with wolf whistles and cat calls.”
Karen: “As I got down to my thong, Linda decided to join me, which drove the men wild. I was kissing Linda and tweaking her nipples through her red-lace nightie.”
Jack: “The girls were getting into it so much with each other, I had to remind them of the Lap Dancer Harness.
Karen: “I approached Jack and began to orally service the dong that was thrust out there waiting for me. I then straddled his leg facing away from him and slipped the dong in my pussy. While I rode Jack’s leg I reached out and pulled Linda closer till I could lick her wet snatch.
Jack: “Mark decided to get into the act with some backdoor action on Linda. And I had hold of Karen’s tits while she jerked me off.
Karen: “A better lap dance was never given…or received!”
Jack: “It’s amazing how something as simple as the Lap Dancer Harness can transform a ordinary encounter into something very special indeed.”
Karen: “We all got off, literally and figuratively, on the whole stripper role play. I’m thinking there are still other yet undiscovered ways to use this harness and dildo. I may just have to strap it on my knee and sink it in Jack’s ass one of these fine days.
We love all our new Sportsheets toys. Thanks Dr Dick!”
ENJOY!
Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #78 — 09/01/08
[Look for the podcast play button below.]
Hey sex fans,
I have a delightful show for you today. We have some scintillating Q&A and a toy review that I know you will definitely enjoy.
- Lynn discovers some disturbing evidence in her son’s laundry.
- Tyler is too young to worry, but he still does.
- Stephani wonders if it’s gonna hurt the first time.
- Jimmy wants to know about jelqing!
Finally, a Sex Toy Review!
BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!
Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.
Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY
Podcast: Play in new window | Download