Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen…and Gentlewomen

REVIEW #28

Hey sex fans,

It’s Week 4, and the final week, of our Holiday Extravaganza. Did you somehow miss Week 1, 2 or 3 of this lollapalooza? Shame on you! Check out Reviews #25, 26 and 27. You’ll be so glad ya did.

The Dr Dick Review Crew has been workin’ overtime gettin you these reviews and now all our naughty parts are sore as all get out. Thank god this is the last week; we need a break, don’t cha know!

This week’s Review Crew include:

Jack & Karen — Reviews #17, 18, 25, 27
Joy & Dixie— Reviews #6, 12, 16, 17, 18, 23, 27
Glenn & Hank — Reviews #4, 16, 17, 18, 23. 24, 27
Gina & Kevin — Reviews #4, 13, 16, 17, 18, 23, 24, 27
Ken & Denise — Reviews #11, 16, 25
Jada — Reviews #14, 16, 20

First up Ken & Denise introduce us to a beautiful wooden insertable from Hans at Hardwood Dildos. I’m a big fan of Hans’. He is more than a craftsman; he’s an artist. He really knows his wood and his woodies! We have just this one dildo to review, but his site is virtually overflowing with ingenious designs. When you visit, be sure to tell him Dr Dick sent you.

Apple Wood Dildo $99

Ken: “I was hoping I would be one of the lucky chosen ones to review one of the great wooden dildos we’ve featured during our Holiday Extravaganza. I lucked out! Denise and I have a real beauty.”
Denise: “That is so true. Unfortunately, our Apple Wood Dildo doesn’t come already named, like the ones reviewed earlier in this series.”
Ken: “Well, it’s only unfortunate if you’re not clever enough to come up with name all on your own. I’ve christened ours Peter…for obvious reasons.”
Denise: “I stand corrected. Maybe I need to be punished. 😉
Ken: “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Just you wait till we get home, young lady!”
Denise: “Ohhh, Daddy!”
Ken: “We seem to be veering off topic. Back to our beautiful Hardwood Dildo. It is made of Apple wood, a fine-grained, dense wood, which has a very fair color, kinda like maple or cherry. Apparently, the wood comes from trees pruned in Oregon.”
Denise: “Hardwood Dildos is another brilliant GREEN northwest company; so hurray for that! It also has a very traditional shape to it. Unlike some of the other wooden insertables on the market, there is no denying this Apple Wood Dildo is a phallus. It’s 6.25″ x 1.6″/2.6″ with a luscious dickhead and a nice base for easy handling.”
Ken: “That phallus shape suits us just fine, huh honey?”
Denise: “You betcha! I’m real old fashioned gal that way. I love the way it feel in my pussy and my ass.”
Ken: “You can use all kinds of lube with this Hardwood Dildo. It warms nicely to your body very quickly too.”
Denise: “Wash with warm soapy water and dry thoroughly with a soft cloth and you’re done. You can wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.”
Ken: “I feel like I own a unique piece of art, because no two Hardwood Dildos are alike.”
Denise: “And anyone concerned about the finish on these dildos; oughtn’t worry. They get at least five coats of a food grade varnish called a Salad Bowl Finish.”
Ken: “If you are looking for wood (literally or figuratively) Hardwood Dildos is the place to shop.”
Denise: “I hope I find another one of these beauties under my tree this Christmas.”
Ken: “Maybe you could take your tree to Hans after the holidays and have him whip up a little something for you.”
Denise: “What a great idea! I wonder if he does requests. Happy Holidays everyone.”

Gina & Kevin introduce us to a couple of lovable toys for the big kid in all of us. These come from the good people at Big Teaze Toys. Dr Dick gives a bunch of extra points for the delightful names. You go Big Teaze!

I Rub My Duckie Bondage $25.99

Gina: “If a company can make me smile and make me cum at the same time, they win my heart. Now my heart belongs to Big Teaze. I Rub My Duckie Bondage is just one of the great Collector’s Series duckies available from Big Teaze Toys. You have to see the other! Makes me giggle just visiting the site.”
Kevin: “I got such a kick out of this. And speaking of kicks; this little bugger is mighty powerful.”
Gina: “Bondage Duckie has a permanent place in our bathroom. It is always in reach. There is nothing better than a waterproof vibe. I love to get off in the tub.”
Kevin: “It’s a real conversation piece too. It even comes with its own set of Duckie-sized handcuffs. What a hoot! Guests always comment on our fashionable BDSM Duckie. Little do they know.”
Gina: “When Kevin and I enjoy a soak together we never forget to invite Duckie. And you can use it several different ways. But I think you should find that out on your own.”
Kevin: “Batteries ARE included. So your first rides are free!”

I Rub My Wormie Pink Travel Size $22.99

Kevin: “The I Rub My Wormie we have is the travel sized one. That makes is a bit smaller than the regular size. It make an excellent butt plug.”
Gina: “Or Pussy plug! I Rub My Wormie has a, ergonomic bend in his neck to reach your G- or P-spot. It has an easy-grip body so he won’t wiggle out of your hands.”
Kevin: “Oh baby, Oh baby, you make me so hot!! Don’t forget the 3-speeds of vibration.”
Gina: “It actually is the perfect toy to travel with. Airport security will think you are carrying a baby’s toy. If they only knew.
Kevin: “All you health conscious consumers out there should know these toys are non-toxic, Phthalate-free, PVC-free and latex-free.”
Gina: “Sadly, I Rub My Wormie does not come with batteries. What’s up with that Big Teaze Toys? No one should be creating battery operated toys without including the fist set of batteries. It’s just wrong.
Kevin: “Gina and I agree these toys make ideal holiday gifts. Just make sure if you plan to give one of these as a gift that you buy the toy with the batteries, or include the batteries as part of your gift.”
Gina: “No one wants a toy that can’t be used right out of the package.”
Kevin: “Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from both of us.”
Gina: “And a Happy orgasm-filled New Year too!”

Now Jada gives us the finger, as it were. This is a clever first offering from a new Canadian company — Fun To Have.

Fun Finger $20.00

Jada: At first I thought this was some kind of gag. I mean Fun Finger looks like something you’d find on one of those prank websites. It’s basically a big golden thumb. Fun Finger is soft and flexible. It has a multi-speed vibrator that is adjusted on the base of the finger. It’s made in China of TPR (Thermoplastic Rubber), which is non-toxic, but anyone allergic to latex will not be able use this. I’m not a big fan of Chinese made products, especially nowadays, but this one seems harmless enough.

I did like the unique shape — the cocked thumb. It’s perfect for G-spot stimulation. I wouldn’t, however, recommend it for prostate stimulation. There’s nothing to hold on to at the base and it could easily slip in your bum and disappear. And that would very unpleasant indeed.

Fun Finger would make a fun stocking stuffer for the light-hearted person on your list.

Happy holidays everyone!

Our favorite perv Review Crew members — Joy & Dixie and Glenn & Hank tackle some very interesting devices from Rachel’s Pleasures.

G–Spotter $16.20

Joy & Dixie

Dixie: “This is our second go around with these sorts of products. Joy and I, Glenn and Hank and others did a whole series on some of the products from Sportsheets. You can find those reviews by searching for the word ‘Sportsheets’.”
Joy: “Dixie and I prefer Rachel’s product line to the other. For one thing, we found them more comfortable.”
Dixie: “I hope this doesn’t sound petty, but we also like Rachel’s packaging better. It’s more fun and it isn’t so blatantly heterosexual.”
Joy: “Basically, the G–Spotter is a device that one attaches to the bottom’s ankles so the top can maneuver the bottom’s legs with more ease. The bottom can hold the strap herself or the top can hold it and move it from side to side.”
Dixie: “I liked the Cumfy Cuffs. They are padded for comfort, quick release gismo that is real handy. The G–Spotter is also easily adjustable.”

Cumfy Cuffs And Cumfy Cuffs Extensions Kit $22.50

Glenn & Hank

Glenn: “Hank and I agree with Dixie. We also like Rachel’s packaging better than the Sportsheets packaging. I guess it’s a gay thing!”
Hank: “In fact, we liked everything about the Rachel’s line better. We agree with the gals, it’s a more comfortable setup”
Glenn: “Not that the bottom is supposed to be comfortable all the time. If ya catch my drift.”
Hank: “Yeah, but Rachel’s line of products, although practical and fully functional, is geared toward the bondage novice, wouldn’t you agree?”
Glenn: “Absolutely! But we all have to start somewhere.” 😉
Hank: “Do you know a budding kinkster? Maybe you’re one yourself.
Glenn: “Maybe you’d just like to know the thrill of relinquishing control for an itsy bitsy moment or two.”

Neoprene Harness $24.30

Joy & Dixie introduce us to the Neoprene Harness.

Joy: “Now this is something I can really sink my teeth into.”
Dixie: “What she means to say is ‘…sink a nice big dildo into’.”
Joy: “I loves me my strap-ons! I have quite a collection. Some are more comfortable than others, but I love ‘em all.”
Dixie: “I’m not as much of a connoisseur, as Joy, but this Neoprene Harness is very comfortable, I must say.”
Joy: “It is that! It is also reversible and machine washable. I love that part. I hate having to clean lube and whatnot off my leather harness.”
Dixie: “It’s also fully adjustable. It would have to be to fit both Joy and I. We have such different body types.”
Joy: “This is a really terrific start-out harness for the beginner. It’s inexpensive, yet practical. You just plug in the insertable of your choice (like the one that Ken & Denise showed us earlier) and then go fuck yourself some…whatever.”
Dixie: “Exactly! I’ve already told my ‘straight’ office mate about this. She’s gonna surprise her BF for X-mas.”
Joy: “You go, Danna!! Give it to him good.”
Dixie: “Thank you Dr Dick for a great year of products. We certainly look forward to the New Year and what it may bring.”
Joy: “Have a very sexy and sensual holiday season everyone. See ya in the New Year.”

Rachel’s Bed Spread (w/cuffs) $64.53

Glenn & Hank

Hank: “Now this is more like it! Rachel’s Bed Spread allows you can create a little bondage magic without the screw anchors and bolts in the ceiling and walls needed for more traditional bondage apparatus.”

Glenn: “I love being restrained spread eagle on the bed. I love relinquishing control to my partner(s) and being ravaged by him/them.”

Hank: “And now we can play like this our own bedroom, or take it on vacation with us.”

Glenn: “These two straps go around the mattress and allow us to attach wrist or ankle cuffs to the straps. The straps are adjustable fitting a twin up to a King Size bed

Hank: “Rachel’s Bed Spread is not the least be threatening. In fact, if you just wanna mess around with some power-play this is just the thing for you.”

Glenn: “But it also works for those of us who are a tad more hardcore.”

Hank: “And it’s a breeze to set up. It only took a few minutes.”

Glenn: “And it’s reasonably priced.”

Hank: “So if you are a rank amateur or a seasoned pro, you’ll have a great time testing your limits. We did!”

Glenn: “We think Rachel’s Pleasures rocks.”

Hank: “We both wish you a Merry Christmas and a very edgy New Year.”

So there ya have it, Sex Fans. We hope our Holiday Extravaganza provided you with lot of swell gift giving ideas. Look for more Product Reviews in the New Year.

December 5, 2008July 1, 2026

Fa la la la la, La la la la

REVIEW #27

Hey sex fans,

Holy mackerel! It’s Week 3 of our Holiday Extravaganza. Did you somehow miss Week 1 or 2 of this lollapalooza? Shame on you! Check out Reviews #25 and 26. You’ll be so glad ya did.

The Dr Dick Review Crew has our review apparatus workin’ overtime. We want to get as many reviews out there before the end of the year. Because we certainly don’t want to leave you hanging…as it were. This week, we have yet another hot juicy load of swell holiday gift giving ideas for you. And guess what? They are all GREEN.

This week’s Review Crew include:

Jack & Karen — Reviews #17, 18, 25

Joy & Dixie— Reviews #6, 12, 16, 17, 18, 23

Me, Dr Dick — Reviews #1 – 5, 7 – 10, 12, 14, 15, 19, 21, 25, 26

Glenn & Hank — Reviews #4, 16, 17, 18, 23. 24

Gina & Kevin — Reviews #4, 13, 16, 17, 18, 23, 24

First up we have two brilliant wooden insertables from my very good friends at Jildos; The Art You Love To Touch! Jildos are American made, hand-crafted works of art. They are produced by a company called: WoodPeckers Roost. Can you stand it? They are made from the most durable, safe materials available and they are GREEN, oh so GREEN.

Hart $69.00

Joy & Dixie

Joy: “I’ve had a hankerin’ for a wooden dildo for ages. I’ve admired them online and even held a few in my hands at our local sex emporium. But nothing compares to owing one and having it inside you.”
Dixie: “That is so true. Hart is simply beautiful. It’s made of exotic Bocote wood, which gives it a very distinctive striped appearance. And besides it’s beauty it is as functional as all get-out. It has a long, smooth shaft that allows you to enjoy deep penetration using either end.”
Joy: “Yeah, and it’s a ‘double header’ too. There is a ball at one end that is ideal for G-spot (or P-spot) stimulation. But it also has a more traditional head on the other end, which is followed by 4 ridges. I love my dildos ridged!”
Dixie: “I agree, I love the rippling sensation too. And I like that it’s size is not overwhelming. It’s 10.5” long, but it’s only 1.25” in diameter at its widest point.”
Joy: “We spent a lot of time trying it every which way. And it is safe to use with all kinds of lubes. We are partial to silicone-based lubes and because Hart is so naturally smooth, a very little bit of lube goes a long way.”
Dixie: “Caring for this beauty is blissfully simple. Wash with warm soapy water and dry thoroughly with a soft cloth. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.”
Joy: “Then you can use the wax packet provided with Hart to restore it’s natural luster. Just rub it on and buff it off.”
Dixie: “Your Jildo Dildo will come with a Certificate of Authenticity and a nice velvet pouch for discreet storage.”
Joy: “Jildos has a wide array of shapes and styles to choose from. This is the ideal holiday gift for the GREEN consumer.”

Whimsy $69.00

Glenn & Hank

Hank: “We have a more manly sized Jildo Dildo. Then do the girls.”
Glenn: “I just love that name! ‘Honey, can you please pass the Jildo Dildo?’”
Hank: “I know, and we don’t even have to christen this one, because it comes with its own name — Whimsy.”
Glenn: “It’s a nice 1.5” wide and a bit shorter, at 10”, than Joy & Dixie’s Hart.”
Hank: “I don’s suppose we have to repeat all the stuff that the girls said about lube, care and cleaning and all, do we? Good!”
Glenn: “Yeah, but we should describe it better.”
Hank: “Oh, ok! It’s made of American Cherry wood.”
Glenn: “Think of it as cherry pie on a stick.”
Hank: “You are such a dork!”
Glenn: “You love it!”
Hank: “Our Whimsy is also a ‘double header’. One end is rounded. Think prostate stimulation…or G-spot stimulation. The other end is bullet shaped. There’s a combination of swirls and ridges, which deliver a variety of sensations with the old in and out.”
Glenn: “Mmmm, in and out!”
Hank: “Have you ever met a hornier bastard?”
Glenn: “I’m an unapologetic power bottom; what can I say? And when Hank works my ass with Whimsy, I’m in pig heaven. And this thing warms to my body very fast. It’s like totally awesome.”
Hank: “He’s so right. I can work this boy in to a froth of sexual frenzy with this thing. And I like that it’s very masculine looking. Despite it’s beauty, it doesn’t look out of place next to all of Glenn’s other insertables.”
Glenn: “And I do have quite a collection. At the same time, we could leave this on the coffee table as an object ‘d art for all to admire.
Hank: “If you’re lookin’ for insertable art for your holiday giving, look no further than a stunning Jildo Dildo.”
Glenn: “One final thing. You absolutely have to check out their dildo lore page. It is amazing.

Keeping with today’s GREEN theme we’ve got a couple of delicious products from a little company in Vancouver, BC called Hathor Aphrodisia.

Lubricant Pure 4 oz $18.00 CAD

I, Dr Dick, have the distinct pleasure of introducing you to Lubricant Pure. I am so fond of this mighty-mite of a company from right here in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. What a joy it is to bring their products to your attention.

Ya’ll know my passion for GREEN adult products, right? Hathor Aphrodisia is a boutique company that brings us only a few choice products, but each one is a work of love.

Lubricant Pure is an exceptionally fine personal lube. It contains pure botanical emollients including Horny Goat Weed, Jujube Zizyphus and Siberian Ginseng, which are supposed to have aphrodisiacal properties. Can’t honestly say I noticed any difference in my sexual response cycle. But as my granny used to say, ‘It couldn’t hurt!’

Lubricant Pure is water-based, so it’s condom compatible. It’s slippery, non-sticky and there’s no fragrance, which really appealed to me. I hate when lubes have an odor.

And as you would guess from a company like this, Lubricant Pure even tastes nice. I mean don’t you just hate getting some lubes in your mouth? I know I do. They taste all chemically?

Sex fans, if you want your sex to be GREEN? Here’s a way to do that and support a fantastic little company that is doing the right thing.

Lubricant Pure makes a great stocking stuffer too.

Lubricant Lickeurs — Coconut Orange 4 oz $22.00 CAD

Lubricant Lickeurs — Coconut Orange 4 oz $22.00 CAD

Gina & Kevin

Karen: “This is so cool. I’m a big tea drinker. Never been one for coffee, but I do know my teas. And since I’m a naturally hyper kinda gal, I try to avoid caffeine as much as possible. These teas are delicious and they are herbal.”

Jack: “I, on the other hand, am not a big tea drinker, but I agree; these teas are good. There’s an earthiness to them that I really liked.

Karen: “First up today is My Maple Cookie. I love it; what a name. This tea is a unique blend of premium herbs specially formulated to change the female genitalia and male semen to smell and taste like maple cookies. How fun is that?”

Jack: “Who would have guessed something like this was even possible. I have to admit, it’s the damnedest thing. Karen and I shared the tin of 12 tea bags over a 10 day period. We both noticed a difference in the way we smelled and tasted. Don’t get me wrong; I love the natural taste of she and me, but this is way fun.”

Karen: “Jack’s right. Although, I sometimes find his cum to be kind of acrid. My Maple Cookie

Jack: “I like the taste of my own jizz. I never find it acrid. But I don’t taste it every day. So I bow to Karen’s critique.”

Karen: “The Intimate Teas website suggests pouring 8 ounces of hot water over a tea bag and let steep for 5 minutes. Then gently squeeze the tea bag to let the active ingredients fully release into the water. You may remove tea bag or allow to stay in water for stronger tea.”

Jack: “This tea is not a miracle worker. It won’t cover a multitude of sins. Hell, even I know to avoid some foods like onions and garlic, a lot of booze and, of course, smoking, if you want your spunk to taste sweeter.” changed that in just two days.To continue this week’s GREEN, and I might add YUMMY, theme we veer toward the food end of the spectrum.

Jack: “Next up we have Screaming O tea. The Intimate Teas people get high marks for the clever names and the packaging.”
Karen: “They sure enough do! This tea is a premium blend of unique herbs made to increase sexual passion in both women and men. It is supposed to be an aphrodisiac, sexual stimulant and it’s supposed to intensify orgasms.”
Jack: “That’s what it says on the website. I was dubious…at first. I figured, I already have intense orgasms, do I really need to improve on that…even if it’s possible?”
Karen: “Things are much different for us gals, but I think you know that already. I felt like the tea really did stimulate me. And maybe it was only wishful thinking, but I felt my orgasms intensified too.”
Jack: “Again, I defer to my lovely wife. One thing for sure; this tea is a stimulant. The first time I had this tea was near bedtime. I thought, a nice cup of warm tea will make me sleep like a baby. NOT! I tossed and turned all night long. But I did have a raging boner in the morning. I don’t know if those two thing are connected, but they did follow one after the other.”
Karen: “Kevin and I split the 12 tea bags between us, like the My Maple Cookie tea. I didn’t drink my tea at bedtime, so I couldn’t corroborate Kevin’s story.”
Jack: “I say, if you’re feelin’ a little pookie in the libido department, give this tea a try. I suspect you will be pleasantly surprised.
Karen: “That goes double for the women in our audience. And these teas come in these charming little tins. They make perfect gifts any time of the year, but especially during the holidays.”

November 21, 2008July 1, 2026

COMFORT AND JOY

REVIEW #25

Hey sex fans,

I know it’s hard to believe, but the freakin’ holidays are upon us once again. Bah Humbug!

So OK not everyone is not a Scrooge, like me. That’s why the Dr Dick Review Crew is throwing our product review apparatus into high gear. We want to get as many reviews out there in the next month as possible. We want you to have a load of swell holiday gift giving ideas, don’t cha k now.

This week’s Review Crew include:

Jack & Karen — Reviews #17, 18
Ken & Denise — Review #11, 16
Carlos — Reviews #4
Mick & Chuck— Reviews #12

Let’s start things off with a little COMFORT!

Jack & Karen introduce us to Pleasure Pack Combo.
The Right Position Sex Pillow Combo —— $89.00

Karen: “I’m just wild about The Right Position Sex Pillow. Until the day Jack and I picked up the Pleasure Pack Combo at Dr Dick’s, I hadn’t given much thought to how exceptionally useful a specialized cushion like this could be.”
Jack: “I totally agree. Ya see the sex pillow is wedge shaped (about 6” at its widest), which allows us to position our bodies for a more accommodating and comfortable fuck.”
Karen: “But it’s not just for fucking, although I must say it is ideal for anal sex, but I’ll get to that in a minute. What I like most is that it raises my pelvis just enough so that Jack can pleasure me orally. And The Right Position Sex Pillow is so comfortable too”
Jack: “In the past, we had to fumble around with traditional pillows to place under Karen’s ass to raise it to just the right height for me to effortlessly eat her out. But now with The Right Position Sex Pillow I can crawl between her legs and find her pussy at precisely the right height for me to dig in.”
Karen: “My man has the most talented tongue around. I’m totally down with anything that makes him more comfortable while he works, if ya know what I mean..”
Jack: “Karen mention ass fucking. When I bottom for her I love her to peg me while we’re face to face.”
Karen: “Before we got The Right Position Sex Pillow I found face-to-face pegging a real chore. Jack is a lot bigger and heaver than I, and even though he tries to keep his legs up during the peg, it’s exhausting and when he tires they crash down around my shoulders. It’s difficult for me to help him keep his legs up so it’s kind of frustrating.”
Jack: “Yeah, but now all I have to do is position the Sex Pillow under my back so that the widest part of the wedge is just slightly above my waist. This allows me to throw my legs up and back and keep them there with ease. It’s really great.”
Karen: “It really has made all the difference in the world. How we did without one of these for so long is beyond me.”
Jack: “I like the fact that Sex Pillow cleans up easily with just a little soap and water. It’s made of soft latex free foam that resists lube stains. Thank you very much! And it has a built in handle, so it’s easy to adjust.”
Karen: “The Right Position Sex Pillow even comes with its own lovely satin drawstring bag.”
Jack: “Tell ‘em about the other thing.”
Karen: “He’s referring to The Pleasure Wrap. It’s very sweet sexy little throw with a soft furry fleece side and silky satin side. It’s ideal for cuddling after a romp. I often get chilled afterward, even on the warmest days. So this is perfect for me. Oh, and machine washable too. They’ve thought of everything!”
Jack: “In case you haven’t noticed, we love these products. You can buy the pillow and wrap separately. But the combo is so reasonably priced; why not splurge? It will make the perfect holiday gift for all you lovers out there.”

And now for a whole lot of JOY!

Mick & Chuck introduce us to Smooth Glider.

Smooth Glider $89.95

Mick: “Hey, it’s great to be back as part of the Dr Dick Review Crew.
Chuck: “This is the dream “job. What’s not to love about getting free sex toys? And we loves us some toys.”
Mick: “Yeah, but we’re also informing people about what to look for in quality products while avoiding the junk.”
Chuck: “Exactly! Speaking of quality, check out our Smooth Glider. It’s stunning. It’s made of Pyrex glass.”
Mick: “It’s approximately 7 inches long and 1 1/4 inches in diameter with a nicely sculpted head that measures approximately 1 1/2 inches in diameter. It weighs a hefty 12.4 oz. And the sucker is smooth as glass…thus the name. Duh!
Chuck: “Well a lot of glass dildos are textured. This one happens to be smooth. But it does have a nice curve to it. It’s perfect for prostate stimulation.”
Mick: “Or G-Spot stimulation, if you have one of those.” 😉
Chuck: “The first thing you need to know is that not all glass dildos are created equal. There are plenty of cheap knock-offs out there that I wouldn’t stick in my ass for a million bucks. But the Smooth Glider is top of the line.”
Mick: “If you’ve never used a glass dido you will be amazed. It’s like no other material. With just the tiniest amount of lube (we use a silicone-based lube) this thing becomes amazingly slick. And you can warm or chill this baby for added sensations.”
Chuck: “The Smooth Glider, like all quality glass products, is easy to care for too. Warm soapy water and a nice lint-free towel is all you need for clean up. But you can pop it in the dishwasher; sterilize it in a 10% bleach solution; or in boiling water for a couple of minutes. Making it the idea toy for sharing.”
Mick: “One more thing about the Smooth Glider’s design. It has a nice base on it. So it’s easy to grab hold of for turning or pumping in and out.”
Chuck: “Mmmmm, pumping in and out!”
The Smooth Glider comes in a beautiful red padded velvet pouch to protect it when it’s not punishing your, or someone you love’s ass.”
Mick: “I highly recommend the Smooth Glider to anyone who is looking for the classic glass dildo. You will not be disappointed.”
Chuck: “I second that! And anyone out there still unsure about glass toys, if you buy quality, like the Smooth Glider, you have nothing to worry about. But like all high-end toys you need to treat it right. Care for it properly, and it will last a lifetime.”
Mick: “Yeah just think this could be an heirloom, passed down from generation to generation. In about a hundred years look for it to appear on the Antique Road Show. ‘Why, my great, great uncle Mick buggered himself senseless with this beauty!’” 😉

Next up, Ken & Denise introduce us to one of the beauties from NobEssence — TRYST.

TRYST $180.00

Denise: “Thank you for the warm welcome to the Dr Dick Review Crew. It’s been a blast…literally and figuratively.”
Ken: “Denise has been eager to join our little club since our adventures with The Vergenza Mk. I.”
Denise: “This time we have an equally beautiful and oh so functional dildo/massager, TRYST. It’s sculpted wood. Isn’t it gorgeous?
Ken: “Yeah, like The Vergenza Mk. I, TRYST is a work of art.
Denise: “It’s is ‘double header’, if you will. One end is round, smooth and bulbous. It is uniquely shaped to stimulate either G-spot or P-spot. The other end is a beaded sort of thing that supplies the most delicious rippling sensation. And each end is perfectly angled to act as a handle when the other end slides into place. It’s brilliant!”
Ken: “I’ve never used anything like it. I mean, it’s10” long. The bulb end is 1 1/2” at the tip, but it then widens to a 2” body before the traditional plug notch. The beaded end is curved, but smaller— an 1” at its widest point.”
Denise: “And, of course, TRYST can be used vaginally and anally. Or did you already get that from my G-spot or P-spot reference? I’m a little slow sometimes.”
Ken: “We’ve enjoyed this dildo every which way. And we haven’t tied of it yet.
Denise: “I sense that some of our visitors may be apprehensive about wood as an insertable. Well let me put your mind at ease. It’s perfectly safe. These sculptures are sealed with an impermeable finish that is hypoallergenic, sent-free, waterproof and bacteria resistant. And because wood is all natural, there are no worries about chemical additives, like phthalates.”
Ken: “Yeah, this is about as green as you can get.”
Denise: “Clean up is a breeze. Warm water and a mild soap do the trick. When we trade off using this gem; we wipe it down with peroxide and a lint-free towel. But you can use alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.
Ken: “Mick said something about how slick his toy got with just the smallest amount of lube. The same is true with TRYST. Like those guys we prefer a silicone-based lube. And another noteworthy thing is that wood will warm to your body temperature as you use it.”
Denise: “All NobEssence sculptures come in beautifully designed gift boxes. Perfect for holiday gift giving.”
Ken: “This is a very special gift for that very special someone. It is both artistic and sensual. If you want to make a HUGE impression; this will make the point.”

Finally, Carlos introduces us to another beauty from NobEssence — ROMP.

ROMP $110

Carlos: “It’s great to be back with some of my old review pals and some new ones too.

I feel a little odd being the only single person here, but my ROMP is perfect for solitary use. It’s an exquisite wooden butt plug/prostate massager.

Before I continue with a description, I want to say that I agree with everything Ken and Denise said about their sculpture. And since you just heard from them, I won’t repeat it all myself.

ROMP is the best prostate massager I’ve ever used. And I’ve tried several. It fits snug and stays in place because of the notch between the handle and the rounded insertable end. And it’s designed to be worn for extended periods of time. The longer you wear it, the better it feels. Dr Dick and I are both big advocates of prostate self-awareness and prostate massage. And this is the perfect ‘tool’ for that.
It isn’t all that big, so it is suitable for even the beginner. The insertable section is 3 1/2” long and 1 1/2” at its widest point. Nothing threatening there! I suppose you could just as well use ROMP for G-spot stimulation, but I don’t have one of those. So I can’t speak to that.

Lube, of course, is important. And ROMP is compatible with all types of commercially produced lubes — water-based, silicone-based, whatever you have.

I love my ROMP. I’ve already turned a couple of my bi-men friends on to this amazing instrument.

One thing I should point out. The NobEssence site only allows you to buy directly from them if you use PayPal. That is such a bummer. Because there are a whole lot of us that will never use PayPal, ever. I’m sure the sculptor looses a fair amount of business not having other pay options. Luckily, the NobEssence site offers links to other online stores where you can purchase these marvels using a credit card. So hurray for that!

If you have a prostate, or know someone who does, this is the ideal holiday gift for him. Get ‘em while they’re hot!” 😉

ENJOY

August 29, 2008June 27, 2026

Sport Fuck, Part 1

REVIEW #17

Dr Dick’s Product Review Crew has been busy as all get-out all summer long testing a load of intriguing and oh so practical novelties from the pleasure-oriented folks over at Sportsheets.

Don’t know Sportsheets from a hole in your head? Stick around, sex fans, and let the Dr Dick’s Product Review Crew introduce you to a swell lineup of sexy fun products that will liven up even the most ho-hum sex life.

We have so many products to review that I will present our findings in two parts. Look for Sport Fuck, Part 2 on Friday, September 5, 2008. But for now, let’s check in with our intrepid reviewers.

Sportsheets Doggie Style Position Strap

Dr Dick’s Product Review Crew has been busy as all get-out all summer long testing a load of intriguing and oh so practical novelties from the pleasure-oriented folks over at Sportsheets.

Don’t know Sportsheets from a hole in your head? Stick around, sex fans, and let the Dr Dick’s Product Review Crew introduce you to a swell lineup of sexy fun products that will liven up even the most ho-hum sex life.

(We hwve separate postings for each product. Simply search for Sportsheets to find them all.)

Sportsheets Doggie Style Position Strap $14.50

A soft pad with a sturdy nylon strap lifts the pelvis for more control and deeper penetration. It’s designed to enable and enhance doggie style sex. Comfortable and easy to use, the strap has a handle with an adjustable buckle at each end. Machine washable.

Gina & Kevin

Kevin: “Doggie style is my favorite, but it is not as easy as it looks.”
Gina: “You can say that again!”
Kevin: “This strap takes some of the effort out of this great position and actually makes for much better fuck.”
Gina: “Using this strap, Kevin has more control and can penetrate deeper. The pad on my lower abdomen positions my G-spot perfectly for his thrusts. I don’t have to strain my arms and wrists pushing back against him, because he is able to hold me close using the straps. And the Doggie Style Position Strap
Kevin: “And there’s less strain on my lower back. Getting the proper grip on the straps takes some practice, however. But I learned that it’s like pulling on the reins of a horse’s bridle. In fact, I was able to control Gina using this same principle.
Gina: “Isn’t he romantic? The a big lug!”
Kevin: “Well it’s true. I do have more control. I can rock and tilt your pelvis, which gives you more pleasure, right? At least that’s what you said the first time we used it. Do you remember?”
Gina: “I do remember. And it was more pleasurable for sure. I was simply reacting to the horse comment.
Anyhow, we both liked Doggie Style Position Strap very much.”
Kevin: “It’s become an indispensable part of our play sessions. We highly recommend this to any doggie style lover. And the freakin thing is under $20, so you can’t go wrong.”
Gina: “Our next adventure with this thing will be me using it on Kevin. I’m finally going to take the plunge and strap one on for him and peg his sweet bottom.”
Kevin: “I can’t hardly wait! Maybe tonight will be my lucky night.” spares my face from being shoved into the pillows, mattress or carpet. That alone makes the thing worth having.

Sportsheets Super Sex Sling

Sportsheets Super Sex Sling $ 66.49

The Super Sex Sling has a deluxe comfort neck rest, plus extended straps and padded supports. Fully adjustable, it lets you go wild for hours and hours.

Glenn & Hank

Glenn: “I’m the bottom in our family. Hank, here, he’s the top.”
Hank: “Yeah, we’re just like Jack Sprat and his wife, only completely different.” 😉
Glenn:   “We sometime play in a mutual friend’s dungeon. He has a full-on sling setup that I absolutely love. Hank and I would have one too, but it’s completely impractical in our apartment.”
Hank: “While the Super Sex Sling isn’t in the same ballpark as a pimped-out leather sling hanging from the rafters, it does serve much the same purpose.”
Glenn:   “Yep, Hank (and others) can fuck the bejesus otta me and my legs don’t tire in the ass-ult.”
Hank: “And I don’t have to expend all my energy tryin’ to keep Glenn’s bubba-sized legs up and apart. And that makes a big difference in my endurance during the fuck, I’m happy to report.”
Glenn:   “The Super Sex Sling allows me to use my upper body strength to manage my legs. I get to lift and separate my legs as much as I want and need. This is perfect, because the more tension I have in the muscles in my thighs, the more tension I have in my glutes. And the more tension I have in my ass muscles; the more powerful my orgasm is gonna be.”
Hank: “And Glenn can hold his position even if I have to move to readjust my position. And there’s nothin finer then seeing my man’s legs open wide and pulled back so I can gaze upon his hairy hole as it winks at me,”
Glenn:   “This device is worth its weight in gold, no doubt about it.
But here’s the thing. If I saw this package in a store I would walk right on by it. The guy and girl on the cover look great and all, but I would have never stopped and considered how this sling might be used by me — a big gay homosexual — and my husband.”
Hank: “I totally agree. I looked all over the Sportsheets website, the only packaging they have represents straight people. That’s so disappointing. I’d be willing to bet that if they repackaged some of their toys using two hot guys on the cover in the same way they use the straight couple, their shit would fly off the shelf. I know it would get my attention ASAP!”

Sportsheets Sex Sling $36.00

This is the perfect sex sling for oral stimulation, vaginal and/or anal sex, and G-spot penetration and stimulation. Using the Sex Sling you can keep your legs and hips comfortably raised for prolonged periods of time, making access incredibly simple. The tension on the straps is easily adjusted using the black plastic buckle adjusters. These adjusters also make quick-release of the legs simple.

Joy & Dixie

Joy: “I want to reiterate and underscore what Hank was saying about the packaging. Now I know I’m never gonna see a picture of a couple of hot chicks using whatever toy, but some diversity would be appreciated. Even some people of color would add interest.”
Dixie: “I’d like to see some packaging that reflects actual users too, but that’s probably never gonna happen. So let’s move on.”
Joy: “Dixie and I compared this Sex Sling with the one Glenn and Hank have — the Super Sex Sling. Ours is basically the same concept as theirs, only ours is the stripped down model. There isn’t as much comfortable support on our neck pad as they have on theirs.
Dixie: “I agree, this Sex Sling does what the Sportsheets people say it will — keeps my legs elevated and apart for when Joy’s bangin’ me or eatin’ me out.”
Joy: “And because it’s adjustable, I can use it as well as Dixie. And as you can see, I’m a much bigger gal.” 😉
Dixie: “Both of us agree with what Glenn said about increased muscle tension in our legs and butt. This increased muscle tension really does increase the intensity of our orgasms.
Joy: “Yep, I knew about this secret for better orgasms long before we tried the Sex Sling. It’s just that I never used anything like this before and so I didn’t realize how effective something as simple as a sling would be at increasing the level of pleasure I experience.”
Dixie: “When Joy is in the Sex Sling I don’t have to worry about trying to support the weight of her legs. Not that I would be able to do that even if I wanted. And when I’m in the Sex Sling it’s much easier for Joy to hit my G-spot with our SHARE (review HERE).
Joy: “We both recommend this item as a starter sling. However, if this concept really appeals to you, as it does us. We suggest you go for the Super Sex Sling. It’s thirty bucks more, but worth it!”

The Penetration Station

The Penetration Station by Sportsheets —— $54.00

When you use the Penetration Station you can fully realize deeper penetration and thrust in a wide array of positions (from doggy to missionary to cowgirl and others). The straps are highly adjustable to fit any mattress and once you and your partner hold on, then the ride will begin. The product consists of one 12′ center strap, four 7′ leverage straps and 4 neoprene attachments. Each of these pieces can fit easily underneath the mattress for discreet storage.

Jack & Karen

Karen: “This is our first appearance as members of Dr Dick’s Product Review Crew. So maybe a little introduction is in order. Jack and I are Swingers. We’ve been in the lifestyle, as it’s called, for 6 years. We’re both on the kinky side of the spectrum and are very fond of light bondage and the associated discipline. We are both bisexuals, me more so than Jack, but we play with same and other sex partners.”
Jack: “Karen and I were so stoked when Dr Dick invited us to join his crew, so we hope to do him and our fellow reviewers proud. So here’s a shout out to all the pervs in our audience. We’re here for ya baby!”
Karen: “The Penetration Station setup is a snap (literally and figuratively). All we had to do is loop the straps under our mattress, as shown in the instructions, so that two straps come up from the head of the bed and two come up from the foot of the bed. Neoprene and nylon attachments easily snap in place and work as handgrips, foot stirrups or thigh straps.”
Jack: “And you can use this on any sized bed. Once the basic set up is complete, you get to choose from a variety of possible uses. This thing is so damned versatile.”
Karen: “The straps detach from the loops with clips and the whole thing can be tucked under the mattress when not in use.”
Jack: “We had to be patient as we fumbled around trying to get the hang of things. Karen and I had to keep referring to the illustrations to get into the positions we wanted. We kept cracking up over our awkwardness. This didn’t add to the passion, but we had a good time nonetheless.”
Karen: “At first, I couldn’t stop laughing. I was getting more tangled up in the straps than anything. Laughing at ourselves kept the frustration level down. But boy-oh-boy, once we figured it out, it became like second nature to us.”
Jack: “I’m like Kevin; doggie style is my favorite position. The Penetration Station allows Karen to grasp the straps from the foot of the bed while I grab the ones from the head of the bed. This brings us tight in on each other, more so than one could do without the Penetration Station. We both get balance and stability and the deepest fuck ever thanks to this little wonder.”
Karen: “Jack’s right! I no longer have to worry about getting my face smooched into the mattress or stressing my elbows as I brace myself against Jack’s thrusts. Gina mentioned the same thing in her review. I’m so glad I’m not alone in this.”
I can now actually press back against Jack for an even deeper thrust and G-spot stimulation.”
Jack: “Neither one of us is exhausted by trying to hold one position or another. The fuck, however, is sure enough exhausting, but that’s the way it’s supposed to be, huh?”
Karen: “I like that the Penetration Station is so portable. We’ve already taken it to several play parties. I love introducing our swinger friends to this amazing device. It immediately becomes the life of the party.
The neoprene cuffs are very comfortable on both hands and feet.
Jack: “I’m in charge of clean-up after play and so I like how easily the Penetration Station can be discreetly stored under the mattress.
You can wipe off any lube residue on the straps or cuffs with a damp cloth and you’re favorite spray cleaner. It’s also machine washable!”

ENJOY!