REVIEW #28
Hey sex fans,
It’s Week 4, and the final week, of our Holiday Extravaganza. Did you somehow miss Week 1, 2 or 3 of this lollapalooza? Shame on you! Check out Reviews #25, 26 and 27. You’ll be so glad ya did.
The Dr Dick Review Crew has been workin’ overtime gettin you these reviews and now all our naughty parts are sore as all get out. Thank god this is the last week; we need a break, don’t cha know!
This week’s Review Crew include:
- Jack & Karen — Reviews #17, 18, 25, 27
- Joy & Dixie— Reviews #6, 12, 16, 17, 18, 23, 27
- Glenn & Hank — Reviews #4, 16, 17, 18, 23. 24, 27
- Gina & Kevin — Reviews #4, 13, 16, 17, 18, 23, 24, 27
- Ken & Denise — Reviews #11, 16, 25
- Jada — Reviews #14, 16, 20
First up Ken & Denise introduce us to a beautiful wooden insertable from Hans at Hardwood Dildos. I’m a big fan of Hans’. He is more than a craftsman; he’s an artist. He really knows his wood and his woodies! We have just this one dildo to review, but his site is virtually overflowing with ingenious designs. When you visit, be sure to tell him Dr Dick sent you.
Apple Wood Dildo $99
Ken: “I was hoping I would be one of the lucky chosen ones to review one of the great wooden dildos we’ve featured during our Holiday Extravaganza. I lucked out! Denise and I have a real beauty.”
Denise: “That is so true. Unfortunately, our Apple Wood Dildo doesn’t come already named, like the ones reviewed earlier in this series.”
Ken: “Well, it’s only unfortunate if you’re not clever enough to come up with name all on your own. I’ve christened ours Peter…for obvious reasons.”
Denise: “I stand corrected. Maybe I need to be punished. 😉
Ken: “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Just you wait till we get home, young lady!”
Denise: “Ohhh, Daddy!”
Ken: “We seem to be veering off topic. Back to our beautiful Hardwood Dildo. It is made of Apple wood, a fine-grained, dense wood, which has a very fair color, kinda like maple or cherry. Apparently, the wood comes from trees pruned in Oregon.”
Denise: “Hardwood Dildos is another brilliant GREEN northwest company; so hurray for that! It also has a very traditional shape to it. Unlike some of the other wooden insertables on the market, there is no denying this Apple Wood Dildo is a phallus. It’s 6.25″ x 1.6″/2.6″ with a luscious dickhead and a nice base for easy handling.”
Ken: “That phallus shape suits us just fine, huh honey?”
Denise: “You betcha! I’m real old fashioned gal that way. I love the way it feel in my pussy and my ass.”
Ken: “You can use all kinds of lube with this Hardwood Dildo. It warms nicely to your body very quickly too.”
Denise: “Wash with warm soapy water and dry thoroughly with a soft cloth and you’re done. You can wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.”
Ken: “I feel like I own a unique piece of art, because no two Hardwood Dildos are alike.”
Denise: “And anyone concerned about the finish on these dildos; oughtn’t worry. They get at least five coats of a food grade varnish called a Salad Bowl Finish.”
Ken: “If you are looking for wood (literally or figuratively) Hardwood Dildos is the place to shop.”
Denise: “I hope I find another one of these beauties under my tree this Christmas.”
Ken: “Maybe you could take your tree to Hans after the holidays and have him whip up a little something for you.”
Denise: “What a great idea! I wonder if he does requests. Happy Holidays everyone.”
Gina & Kevin introduce us to a couple of lovable toys for the big kid in all of us. These come from the good people at Big Teaze Toys. Dr Dick gives a bunch of extra points for the delightful names. You go Big Teaze!
I Rub My Duckie Bondage $25.99
Gina: “If a company can make me smile and make me cum at the same time, they win my heart. Now my heart belongs to Big Teaze. I Rub My Duckie Bondage is just one of the great Collector’s Series duckies available from Big Teaze Toys. You have to see the other! Makes me giggle just visiting the site.”
Kevin: “I got such a kick out of this. And speaking of kicks; this little bugger is mighty powerful.”
Gina: “Bondage Duckie has a permanent place in our bathroom. It is always in reach. There is nothing better than a waterproof vibe. I love to get off in the tub.”
Kevin: “It’s a real conversation piece too. It even comes with its own set of Duckie-sized handcuffs. What a hoot! Guests always comment on our fashionable BDSM Duckie. Little do they know.”
Gina: “When Kevin and I enjoy a soak together we never forget to invite Duckie. And you can use it several different ways. But I think you should find that out on your own.”
Kevin: “Batteries ARE included. So your first rides are free!”
I Rub My Wormie Pink Travel Size $22.99
Kevin: “The I Rub My Wormie we have is the travel sized one. That makes is a bit smaller than the regular size. It make an excellent butt plug.”
Gina: “Or Pussy plug! I Rub My Wormie has a, ergonomic bend in his neck to reach your G- or P-spot. It has an easy-grip body so he won’t wiggle out ofyour hands.”
Kevin: “Oh baby, Oh baby, you make me so hot!! Don’t forget the 3-speeds of vibration.”
Gina: “It actually is the perfect toy to travel with. Airport security will think you are carrying a baby’s toy. If they only knew.
Kevin: “All you health conscious consumers out there should know these toys are non-toxic, Phthalate-free, PVC-free and latex-free.”
Gina: “Sadly, I Rub My Wormie does not come with batteries. What’s up with that Big Teaze Toys? No one should be creating battery operated toys without including the fist set of batteries. It’s just wrong.
Kevin: “Gina and I agree these toys make ideal holiday gifts. Just make sure if you plan to give one of these as a gift that you buy the toy with the batteries, or include the batteries as part of your gift.”
Gina: “No one wants a toy that can’t be used right out of the package.”
Kevin: “Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from both of us.”
Gina: “And a Happy orgasm-filled New Year too!”
Now Jada gives us the finger, as it were. This is a clever first offering from a new Canadian company — Fun To Have.
Fun Finger $20.00
Jada: At first I thought this was some kind of gag. I mean Fun Finger looks like something you’d
find on one of those prank websites. It’s basically a big golden thumb. Fun Finger is soft and flexible. It has a multi-speed vibrator that is adjusted on the base of the finger. It’s made in China of TPR (Thermoplastic Rubber), which is non-toxic, but anyone allergic to latex will not be able use this. I’m not a big fan of Chinese made products, especially nowadays, but this one seems harmless enough.
I did like the unique shape — the cocked thumb. It’s perfect for G-spot stimulation. I wouldn’t, however, recommend it for prostate stimulation. There’s nothing to hold on to at the base and it could easily slip in your bum and disappear. And that would very unpleasant indeed.
Fun Finger would make a fun stocking stuffer for the light-hearted person on your list.
Happy holidays everyone!
Our favorite perv Review Crew members — Joy & Dixie and Glenn & Hank tackle some very interesting devices from Rachel’s Pleasures.
G–Spotter $16.20
Joy & Dixie
Dixie: “This is our second go around with these sorts of products. Joy and I, Glenn and Hank and others did a whole series on some of the products from Sportsheets. You can find those reviews by searching for the word ‘Sportsheets’.”
Joy: “Dixie and I prefer Rachel’s product line to the other. For one thing, we found them more comfortable.”
Dixie: “I hope this doesn’t sound petty, but we also like Rachel’s packaging better. It’s more fun and it isn’t so blatantly heterosexual.”
Joy: “Basically, the G–Spotter is a device that one attaches to the bottom’s ankles so the top can maneuver the bottom’s legs with more ease. The bottom can hold the strap herself or the top can hold it and move it from side to side.”
Dixie: “I liked the Cumfy Cuffs. They are padded for comfort, quick release gismo that is real handy. The G–Spotter is also easily adjustable.”
Cumfy Cuffs And Cumfy Cuffs Extensions Kit $22.50
Glenn & Hank 
Glenn: “Hank and I agree with Dixie. We also like Rachel’s packaging better than the Sportsheets packaging. I guess it’s a gay thing!”
Hank: “In fact, we liked everything about the Rachel’s line better. We agree with the gals, it’s a more comfortable setup”
Glenn: “Not that the bottom is supposed to be comfortable all the time. If ya catch my drift.”
Hank: “Yeah, but Rachel’s line of products, although practical and fully functional, is geared toward the bondage novice, wouldn’t you agree?”
Glenn: “Absolutely! But we all have to start somewhere.” 😉
Hank: “Do you know a budding kinkster? Maybe you’re one yourself.
Glenn: “Maybe you’d just like to know the thrill of relinquishing control for an itsy bitsy moment or two.”
Neoprene Harness $24.30
Joy & Dixie introduce us to the Neoprene Harness.
Joy: “Now this is something I can really sink my teeth into.”
Dixie: “What she means to say is ‘…sink a nice big dildo into’.”
Joy: “I loves me my strap-ons! I have quite a collection. Some are more comfortable than others, but I love ‘em all.”
Dixie: “I’m not as much of a connoisseur, as Joy, but this Neoprene Harness is very comfortable, I must say.”
Joy: “It is that! It is also reversible and machine washable. I love that part. I hate having to clean lube and whatnot off my leather harness.”
Dixie: “It’s also fully adjustable. It would have to be to fit both Joy and I. We have such different body types.”
Joy: “This is a really terrific start-out harness for the beginner. It’s inexpensive, yet practical. You just plug in the insertable of your choice (like the one that Ken & Denise showed us earlier) and then go fuck yourself some…whatever.”
Dixie: “Exactly! I’ve already told my ‘straight’ office mate about this. She’s gonna surprise her BF for X-mas.”
Joy: “You go, Danna!! Give it to him good.”
Dixie: “Thank you Dr Dick for a great year of products. We certainly look forward to the New Year and what it may bring.”
Joy: “Have a very sexy and sensual holiday season everyone. See ya in the New Year.”
Rachel’s Bed Spread (w/cuffs) $64.53
Glenn & Hank
Hank: “Now this is more like it! Rachel’s Bed Spread allows you can create a little bondage magic without the screw anchors and bolts in the ceiling and walls needed for more traditional bondage apparatus.”
Glenn: “I love being restrained spread eagle on the bed. I love relinquishing control to my partner(s) and being ravaged by him/them.”
Hank: “And now we can play like this our own bedroom, or take it on vacation with us.”
Glenn: “These two straps go around the mattress and allow us to attach wrist or ankle cuffs to the straps. The straps are adjustable
fitting a twin up to a King Size bed
Hank: “Rachel’s Bed Spread is not the least be threatening. In fact, if you just wanna mess around with some power-play this is just the thing for you.”
Glenn: “But it also works for those of us who are a tad more hardcore.”
Hank: “And it’s a breeze to set up. It only took a few minutes.”
Glenn: “And it’s reasonably priced.”
Hank: “So if you are a rank amateur or a seasoned pro, you’ll have a great time testing your limits. We did!”
Glenn: “We think Rachel’s Pleasures rocks.”
Hank: “We both wish you a Merry Christmas and a very edgy New Year.”
So there ya have it, Sex Fans. We hope our Holiday Extravaganza provided you with lot of swell gift giving ideas. Look for more Product Reviews in the New Year.
