Low libido, intercourse pain, orgasm problems?

— Sexual-health doctors are trying to help

Some Canadian doctors aim to address what they call near-total lack of support for women’s sexual health

By Brandie Weikle

A small number of Canadian doctors specializing in women’s sexual health are trying to address what they say is a near-total lack of support for those suffering from common problems such as low libido, difficulty achieving orgasm and pain during intercourse.

“In terms of the juxtaposition with men’s sexual functioning, we are behind and it’s really frustrating,” said Dr. Stephanie Finn of Oakville, Ont.

Finn is one of five Canadian doctors trained by the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health (ISSWSH), based in Burnsville, Minn.

While help for male sexual dysfunction has been widely available since erectile dysfunction drug Viagra burst onto the scene — approved for use in Canada in 1999 — women’s sexual health has remained largely shrouded in secrecy.

“When’s the last time your doctor has asked you about your clitoris? Like never, and that’s fascinating, right? We ask men all the time about their penises and their function, sexual functioning and such,” she told White Coat, Black Art.

I think that there is generally a lack everywhere of interest in women’s sexual functioning, and I’m happy to say that I think that’s beginning to change.”

A woman stands in front of an exam chair in a doctor's office.
Dr. Stephanie Finn is a family doctor focusing on women’s sexual medicine.

Originally a family doctor, Finn found that so many of her female patients needed help with sexual issues that she decided to focus on sexual medicine, opening her clinic about a year ago.

Part of that work is simply teaching women about their bodies, she says.

“It is really common for women to have almost no understanding of their own anatomy,” Finn said.

“I’ve had women who really haven’t a good idea about where their clitoris is. I’ve had people say, ‘Oh, I’ve always wondered,’ and sometimes I’m slightly surprised by that response in women who are in their 50s.”

Finn offers her patients the option of holding a mirror while she gives them a guided tour of their genitalia. Or she’ll use a 3D model to show patients things such as how the clitoris is actually a wishbone-shaped organ, with only the clitoral bulb visible externally.

An illustration of the parts of the vulva.
Parts of the vulva.

A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2023 found that the bulb has around 10,000 nerve endings. That’s compared to about 7,800 at the tip of the penis, according to a paper published in the same journal in February.

A culture of shame

Some of that knowledge gap and reluctance among women to seek help for sexual-health issues is tied to cultural shame, says Dr. Stephanie Hart from Okotoks, Alta., another ISSWSH-trained family doctor.

In North America, vaginas are dirty. Like, I actually had somebody say that to me yesterday,” said Hart, who opened her specialized clinic in 2019.

For some women, that’s simply because they are grossed out by bodily fluids, including those that come out of the vagina, she says.

An exam chair inside a doctor's office.
A chair used for gynecological exams in Finn’s clinic. Many women are uncomfortable with speaking openly about sexual health.

But for others, it’s a morality issue: “You know, ‘sex is shameful.’ That’s a very common attitude that I see people [have]. And kind of unsurprising that people would then have sexual dysfunction when they feel that way about it.”

Despite people’s difficulty talking about their sex lives, these clinics are busy. Hart says she sees 250 new patients every year in her practice, 75 to 80 per cent of them being women, but is referred around 400.

“So every six months, I’m another three months behind.”

Finn said she sees about 15 new patients every week at her Oakville clinic.

A model of a vulva.
Finn often shows her patients a model of a vulva to help familiarize them with their own anatomy.

Most Canadian women do not have access to a doctor who specializes in sexual health. Existing clinics where women have traditionally sought care for sexual health are focused on contraception and infection, says Hart.

These kinds of clinics refer patients to her when they bring up difficulties like pain during sex or low libido, Hart says, as do specialists such as gynecologists.

Help for low libido

Carolina Jara, 57, says she used to be a very sexual person, but since menopause, her libido has tanked.

“My libido went somewhere. I don’t know, maybe back home,” joked Jara, who is originally from Peru but lives in Vancouver.

She says she’s worried about how that can impact her relationship with her husband of eight years. And that part is not a laughing matter.

A close-up of a woman with white earrings and a red top.
Carolina Jara, 57, says she used to be a very sexual person — but now, she is suffering from low libido.

“He still wants it, but I don’t get ignited, I don’t get an orgasm for many years. So it feels more like a duty, more than something that I enjoy.”

There are two medications approved for use in Canada that can be used to increase sexual desire in women: a pill called flibanserin, and a self-injectable called bremelanotide.

Unlike Viagra, which is used on an as-needed basis and acts by increasing blood flow to the penis, both of these drugs impact the brain chemicals that influence mood and sexual appetite. Flibanserin must be taken daily and has been shown to have serious potential side effects.

A pink pill is seen on a piece of paper that shows part of the Sprout Pharmaceuticals logo.
Flibanserin, pictured above, is one of two medications approved in Canada that can be used to increase sexual desire in women.

Critics have argued that libido problems are more a matter of mismatch between the sexual appetites of partners that would be better addressed with relationship counselling.

A non-medical tool for addressing low libido or difficulty achieving orgasm is a class of sex toys sometimes referred to as clitoral suction devices.

“We have wonderful studies actually now showing improved clitoral blood flow and pelvic floor blood flow using these devices,” Finn said. “We know they can make a huge difference for women when they are attempting to achieve orgasm.”

Pain during sex

But sexual-health issues are by no means the exclusive domain of older women, says Finn, whose patients range in age from teenagers to octogenarians.

Talia Steele, 34, suffered for years from pain during sex, stemming from a series of problems that started with a common urinary tract infection.

Woman with shoulder-length curly hair smiles at the camera.
Talia Steele says she had some early negative experiences with male doctors and felt her problems weren’t treated with sensitivity.

Eventually she got surgery to address the issues. But all the poking and prodding, and her history of painful sex, has had lasting effects.

“There’s always that bit of anxiety, never being able to be fully in the moment, always in your head about what’s going on,” said Steele, who is married and also lives in Vancouver.

“Even though I don’t have that pain, those feelings and thoughts still enter my brain at times, and it can be challenging to try new things or come out of my comfort zone.”

Greater Victoria’s Sex Lady discusses sexual health and how teaching it has evolved

One of the challenges with getting care for women’s sexual-health issues is that there’s no established medical specialty for them.

“You take these women with pain [during] sex, for example, and you send them to the gynecologist who would say, ‘Well, it’s not endometriosis,’” Hart said. That might be the end of the road if the doctor doesn’t know about other options that might help.

Hart says she’s on a mission to teach other doctors how to help, starting with asking patients the right questions.

“Like, actually ask if somebody has pain with sex and then know what to do about it if the person says yes. Because patients won’t always volunteer the information if they don’t know that there’s something that can be done.”

Complete Article HERE!

10 Men’s Sexual Health Questions That Are Too Embarrassing to Ask

Sometimes asking questions about sex can be embarrassing—even for adults. Here are questions ranging from alcohol and sex to ejaculation disorders. Sometimes asking questions about sex can be embarrassing—even for adults. Here are ten common questions men ask their Men’s Health providers at University of Utah Health ranging from alcohol and sex to ejaculation disorders.

1. Do Different Sex Positions Increase or Decrease Chances of Pregnancy?

No. Regardless of what sexual position you use, vaginal sex can cause pregnancy.

2. Can I Drink Alcohol With Viagra and Cialis?

Yes, there will not be a bad interaction between the two. Keep in mind that when you drink alcohol, your erection may not be as firm and the medication may not work as well.

3. Is There a Surgery That Can Increase the Size of My Penis?

Even an implanted penile prosthetic will not increase the size of your penis. If you are overweight, getting to your ideal body weight will help restore some of the length you have lost since gaining weight.

Many men will ask about injections to add girth and if there is a procedure to increase penis length. The AUA (American Urological Association) considers fat injections (to increase penile girth) and suspensory ligament division surgery (to increase length) to be unsafe and ineffective.

4. Is My Penis Average in Size Compared to Other Men?

This is a question that is hard to answer, and one that many men wonder about. There are many different techniques to measure penis length, including the amount of force the clinician uses to stretch the penis.

Also, some men will see a significant change in penis length once it is erect. Others will notice that their penis only becomes more rigid. There is not a number that men should set as their benchmark.

Some medical conditions and surgical procedures can reduce the length of your penis. We cannot always restore the length you lose.

The biggest take-home for patients regarding this is to keep a healthy weight. Get care if you feel like your erections are not rigid enough or if you have other concerns about your penis.

5. How Long Should My Erection Last During Sex?

The answer to this question is completely different per person. There is not a standard time that all men should be able to maintain an erection.

For most men, the goal is to get an erection that is rigid enough for penetrative sex and that lasts until both partners are satisfied. We counsel patients that if an erection has lasted over three to four hours and is painful, they should get care with the nearest emergency room. This condition is called priapism.

6. What Is Considered Premature Ejaculation?

There is not a standard amount of time that an erection should last before ejaculating. The AUA defines premature ejaculation as “ejaculation that occurs sooner than desired, either before or shortly after penetration, causing distress to either one or both partners.”

There is not a lab test that can determine this. This diagnosis is made based on a patient’s report and a physician assessment. Treatment options are available. Your provider can help you decide which is best for you.

7. You Don’t Ejaculate After an Orgasm—What Causes This?

Various surgeries or medications can cause a man not to ejaculate after an orgasm. This is called anejaculation. The semen can also go backwards into the bladder, which is called retrograde ejaculation. Common causes of anejaculation can be associated with:

  • Prostatectomy or other prostate procedures such as transurethral resection of the prostate (TURP)
  • Taking Flomax (Tamsulosin)
  • Diabetes
  • Nerve injuries

8. Are Orgasms and Ejaculation Different?

Yes. Typically, an orgasm is the pleasure you experience while ejaculating. Men can have an orgasm without ejaculation. Men can also ejaculate before orgasm. Additionally, it’s possible to have an orgasm and ejaculation without an erection that is satisfying for sex. These conditions can have various causes, some that can be identified and treated, and others that can’t.

9. How Much Ejaculate Should I Have?

Ideally, men should have at least 1.5mL of ejaculate. This is equal to 0.304 US teaspoons, so it is not a large volume. As men age, the amount of ejaculate begins to decrease. If you notice a big difference suddenly, you’ll want to contact your provider.

It’s OK to have more, but if you are noticing significantly less over time, especially during the time you are trying to get pregnant, you should see a urologist.

10. Is a Curved Penis Normal?

Some men have a slightly curved penis that has been present for quite some time. If it is not painful and does not bother you, that is normal. If it’s painful or bothers you, then make an appointment with a men’s health doctor. Your doctor will evaluate your condition and discuss your treatment options.

If you notice a new curve to your penis and that bothers you with either pain or appearance, be seen by a doctor. This curve can impact your erections, which is another element that can be evaluated and treated.

Complete Article HERE!

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #173 — 12/07/09

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Hey sex fans,

It’s all Q&A today.  We’re trying to clear the decks, as it were, before our well deserved holiday break, which is coming soon.  The Erotic Mind series will resume in the New Year with a slew of new and interesting erotic artists and authors who will share their work with us and discuss their creative process.

Among today’s correspondents we hear from:

  • Phil asks Tony Buff for watersports info.
  • Alyssa’s BF says dirty and insulting things to her when they fuck.
  • Baux is having a burning sensation in his hole.
  • Gary wants pills to grow his dick bigger.
  • We also have a bunch of sex guilt questions; sex toy for men questions; and pheromones questions.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Sex EDGE-U-cation with Andrea Zanin – Podcast #172 – 12/02/09

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Hey sex fans,

Back in early February of this year I launched this new series of podcast interviews called Sex EDGE-U-cation.  I promised back then that this series would take a look at the fascinating world of fetish sex and kink. We’d touch on topics both familiar and exotic.  I remember telling that I could guarantee that our investigation will be interesting, stimulating and very informative, because we would be chatting with prominent educators, practitioners and advocates of unconventional sexual expressions and lifestyles from all over the world.

Well then, here we are ten months later and we’re still going strong.  My first guest in this series, Dart, introduced me to today’s guest way back in February.  But its only now that I finally have this opportunity to introduce her to you.  Join me in welcoming the amazing Andrea Zanin.  She is my last guest in this series for 2009, and she’s a humdinger, don’t cha know.

Andrea is also from Toronto, as is Dart, and like him she is internationally known and respected.  She’s a writer and educator within the queer, polyamory and BDSM/leather communities.  And she bring a unique voice to this ever growing chorus of exceptional guests in this series.

Andrea and I discuss:

  • Her life as a grad student, community activist, teacher and writer.
  • Being a sex geek and blogging since 2006.
  • Her site being a virtual graduate course in human sexuality.
  • Presenting on college campuses.
  • Being a leather dyke and being a judge for leather contests.
  • Power play, BDSM and fetishes.
  • The currency of power, consent and negotiations.
  • Being a Dom in power play and a switch in sensation play.

You can visit Andrea on her website HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #171 — 11/30/09

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Hey sex fans,

We’ll be winding up the year with our traditional Q&A format.  For the few weeks that remain before our well-deserved annual holiday break I’ll be addressing the concerns of the sexually worrisome that come to me as email and voicemail.  And if we have the time, we’ll be discussing everyone’s favorite topic; sex toys.  The Erotic Mind series will resume in the New Year with a slew of new and interesting erotic artists and authors who will share their work with us and discuss their creative process.

Among today’s correspondents are:

  • Jake wants to invite his straight male friends to a circle jerk.
  • Dennis can’t get his GF to blow him, or even jerk him off.
  • Tyler wants to know how to do a DP.
  • Uncircumcised Guy wants to get cut now that he’s an adult.
  • Anonymous wants to know what drips out his ass after gettin pegged.
  • We have a handjob question as well as some ass play and prostate questions.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Tony Buff, Part 2 – Podcast #170 – 11/25/09

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Hey sex fans,

It’s the day before Thanksgiving and I have the holiday treat you’ve all been waiting for.  Porn star, activist, educator, rigger and Dom. Tony Buff, Is back with us for more of his unique Sex EDGE-U-cation.

Part 1 of my chat with Tony, which appeared last week at this time, is the most popular interview podcast to date.  It broke all download records for a single podcast in a single week, so yea for that.  But wait, did you somehow miss last week’s installment?  We’ll that’s just not right!  But don’t worry; you can make it up.  All my podcasts are archived right here.  All ya have to do is use the site’s search function to your right; type in Podcast #168 and presto!  Don’t forget the #sign when you do your search

Tony and I discuss:

  • His fan base that includes loads of kinky women.
  • His polyamorous relations that includes Derek da Silva and Chris Yosef.
  • Open, honest communication the key to relationship success.
  • Power Play — how he started and his life now.
  • Being a power switch.
  • Exhilaration of creating scenes for his sub.
  • Cathartic and recreational aspects of BDSM.
  • The importance of working with sex positive & kink-positive healing and helping professionals.

Be sure to visit Tony on his kick-ass site HERE!

More of Tony & friends at work and play.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S  — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

drdickvod.jpg

Kevin Keck Returns — Podcast #169 — 11/23/09

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Hey sex fans,

The hilarious Kevin Keck is back with us again this week.  And we are treated to an even more intimate look into The Erotic Mind of this enormously talented essayist, poet, teacher and comedic genus than we got last week.  As you know, this is the podcast series where noted erotic artists of every stripe come to talk to us about the creative process involved with this specialized art form.  Kevin’s insights are both humorous and poignant, and not to be missed.

You did hear last week’s show, right?  If ya didn’t that’s ok, because Part 1 of our chat is archived right here on my site.  Simply use the search function to your right.  Type in Podcast #167 and voilà!  But hey, don’t forget to use the #sign when you search.

Kevin and I discuss:

  • People’s response to his confessional sex writing.
  • The universality of awkward sexual moments.
  • When sexuality goes awry.
  • Happening truth, story truth and emotional truth.
  • Self-consciousness about bodily functions.
  • The work of Rachel Kramer Bussel.
  • Being the father of identical twin daughters.
  • His father to son talk about girls.
  • Telling stories that entertain.
  • How sexual issues creep into his other writing.

Kevin treats us to a brief reading of his work during our conversation, but I think we deserve even more.  So I’ve taken the liberty of tacking on an audio clip of Kevin reading a full segment of the fruit of his Erotic Mind.  Stay tuned after the show for this extraordinary treat.

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Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #166 — 11/09/09

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Hey sex fans,

We take a short break from The Erotic Mind series today so that I can attend to the backlog of messages from the sexually worrisome that clogs my in-box and voicemail.  Today’s show is all Q&A, people.  So make yourself comfortable it’s gonna be a very interesting ride.

Oh, and to make things really interesting, as well as satisfy a friend suppressed desire to dole out sex advice.  (Apparently he thinks this gig is a cakewalk.) I’m gonna let him have the first words of advice on today’s questions.  My friend, who wishes to be known as Uncle Iodine, claims to enjoy the sadistic Samaritan rush of helping people.  Well we’ll just see about that.

Among today’s correspondents there are:

  • Rachel’s orgasms are all wet.
  • Megan’s guy has a bent dick.  What’s up with that?
  • Devin has foreskin problems.  Will this affect the size of his dick?
  • Louise wants to know why guys like to cum on their partners.
  • Joe’s wife is regularly peggin’ the shit out of him, and he wants more!
  • Abe and Sandy both have things stuck in their asses.  WTF?
  • Ken can’t tell if he’s into boys or girls.
  • Chester wants a pill that’ll grow his dick bigger.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Sex EDGE-U-cation with Cunning Minx – Podcast #163 – 10/28/09

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Hey sex fans,

Today I have the pleasure of welcoming an international celebrity; a woman I’ve admired, albeit from afar, for ages.  She is a highly sought-after speaker on the subject of polyamory.  That’s probably because, not only is she exceptionally well informed on the topic, she also has a wicked sense of humor.  She is the founder polyweekly.com and host of its wildly popular podcast series.  One, I might add, that has been running continuously for nearly 5 years.  That, my friends, is staying power!

My guest is none other than the charming and vivacious, Cunning Minx.  If you know anything about polyamory, you will at least recognize her name.  However, it’s much more likely that you are a huge fan of this amazing woman, just like me.

I happily turn the tables on Minx in today’s program.  Instead of assuming her traditional role as podcast host, she is my guest.  And she adds her unique voice in the ever-growing chorus of prominent educators, practitioners and advocates of unconventional sexual expressions and lifestyles that we call the Sex EDGE-U-cation podcast series.

Minx and I discuss:

  • The Pacific Northwest as a hotbed of perversion.
  • The Polyweekly podcasts; going strong since 2005.
  • Tales from the front of responsible non-monogamy from a pansexual, kink-friendly point of view.
  • Her private life and relationship with her ex, Graydancer.
  • Her site as a clearinghouse for all things poly.
  • How she got the name, Cunning Minx.
  • Dating within the poly community.
  • Some younger gay men’s perception of polyamory.
  • A working definition of polyamory.

Polyamoryhumor

Sophie Hirschfeld, Part 2 – Podcast #160 – 10/14/09

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Hey sex fans,

We’re back with more mighty fine Sex EDGE-U-cation with my special guest, the beautiful, talented and oh so smart, Sophie Hirschfeld.  As we learned last week, she is a plus-sized model, stripper, camgirl, phone sex actress and writer.  And in this, Part 2, of our conversation, we continue our chat about her career as a sex worker, activist and educator.

You didn’t miss last week’s show did you?  Shame on you if you did!  But don’t get too down on yourself, because Part 1 of our chat is archived right there on my site.  Simply use my site’s search function to your right.  Type in Podcast #158 and presto!  But hey, don’t forget to use the #sign when you search.

Sophie and I discuss:

  • Sex work and her intimate relationships
  • Components of sex work that don’t involve sex.
  • Sex work, part of the service industry.
  • Fantasy and role-play.
  • Sex work, a double-edged sword — empowering yet demanding.
  • Current economic conditions add to sex worker rolls.
  • How some women justify their sex work.
  • Lesbian-for-pay cam chicks.
  • Her encounters with the pizza boy!
  • What the general public can learn from sex workers.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.