Your pelvic floor might be impacting your orgasms, here’s how

By DAISY HENRY

Keep that good thing going.

If there was a way to achieve better orgasms, would you take it? Sure, sex and pleasure shouldn’t always be about the big ‘O’ (in fact, there’s a solid case for rethinking that approach completely), but the temptation surely remains.

Stressed? Orgasm. Horny? Orgasm. Tired? Orgasm. Whether it’s self-inflicted or delivered to you by someone else, it’s a great cure for many of life’s woes. In fact, a mind-bending, head-exploding orgasm has to be high up there with one of the finer things.

When you hear the term pelvic floor, your mind likely jumps straight ahead to Kegels. More often than not, Kegels are heralded are the no-nonsense, fast-tracked way to improve your orgasms and have better sex.

While they seem simple enough (i.e. you can do them sitting at your desk and no one will know), I find the idea of doing constant Kegel reps throughout my day a bit much. According to Heather Foord, women’s health specialist and founder of Core Restore, a pelvic floor and core clinic, there’s a lot more you can do to help strengthen and relax your pelvic floor and ultimately achieve better orgasms. Below, Heather walks us through the basics.

What are we talking about when we say ‘pelvic floor’?

Here’s the kicker. For a muscle group that’s so important, we can get so confused about ‘what’ and ‘where’ the pelvic floor is because we can’t see it. The pelvic floor is the shape of a basin. It connects to each side of your pelvis and then connects to the pubic bone at the front and the tailbone at the back.

Its number one job is to support your pelvic organs and support the holes you have ‘down there’. So, for those of us with vulvas, it provides a framework around your urethra (where you wee), your vagina and your bowel. And, contrary to popular belief, the pelvic floor affects so much more than how you wee.

Does a stronger pelvic floor equal stronger orgasms?

In short, yes. Research shows us that women with stronger pelvic floor muscles have higher sexual function and increased levels of desire, arousal and orgasm. The female orgasm starts with the pelvic floor contracting and relaxing in a rhythmic fashion. That’s where the ‘waves of pleasure’ that women describe stem from.

The contractions of the pelvic floor can number anywhere from one to 20 or even more. We all want longer, stronger orgasms, right? So, we want to make sure the pelvic floor has all the strength and endurance it can to keep that good thing going.

And, it’s not just about your orgasm. If you’re partaking in penetrative sex with a partner, the pelvic floor muscles can play a key role in their pleasure too (talk about a multitasker). So, when you climax, the pelvic floor closes and relaxes around the vagina and anus, enhancing the sensation for your plus one.

For those of you with a penis, the pelvic floor is also key when it comes to sexual function. Weak muscles can make it tricky to get or maintain an erection and it can lead to premature ejaculation. These muscles are important for the male orgasm, as their job is to contract during climax to eject the semen from the body.

How might your pelvic floor negatively affect your orgasms?

The first and most obvious way is that if your pelvic floor is weak, the orgasm contractions are likely to be weak so it may be harder to reach orgasm – and if you eventually do, it tends to be a bit of a ‘blah’ orgasm.

But, like any muscle, your pelvic floor can also be too tight. An overly tight pelvic floor (or hypertonic as we say in the health industry) can mean it’s also really hard to achieve orgasm because the muscles are so tight and tired from being switched on all the time, they have no more energy to contract further to get you to climax. This can also lead to painful sex and even pain after orgasm (which is called dysorgasmia).

What other exercises can I do that aren’t Kegels?

If you’re like me and struggle to remember your Kegels, don’t stress – there are other ways to strengthen your pelvic floor! And, if you’re overly tight? There are stretches you can do to help your pelvic floor relax, too. If you’re looking to work on strength, try exercises like the goblet squat, marching bridge and bird dog. If you want to relax your muscles, try a child’s pose, mermaid pose and reclined butterfly sit.

My biggest tip is to get to know your own body and reach out for help. Sex, libido and orgasms are dependent on so many different things. It can be related to your physical function (i.e. pelvic floor), or it can be impacted by stress levels, hormones, lifestyle… the list goes on.

Whether it’s lack of libido, painful sex, struggle to climax, struggles with erections or vaginal laxity, know that you’re not alone and there are so many health professionals here to help. In the Core clinics, we use technology to treat pelvic floor weakness in less than three weeks, but if you can’t make it to a clinic and want to find someone local, get in touch.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

October 26, 2024May 9, 2026

I stopped having sex like a capitalist

— You should try it

“Now, at 29, with years of orgasm-chasing one night stands, toxic relationships and unlearning under my belt, I think I finally get it.”

By Laura Roscioli

I used to have so much energy for all kinds of sex. One night stands. Crazy kinks. All-nighters with an unexpected participant. Couples, friends, people from the internet. I think it was because it was all a bit of a mystery. I was figuring out what I liked, my sexuality, my boundaries. But I was also figuring out what it meant to be a sexual woman in a male dominated world. I was in an era of understanding how my sexuality could be empowering, rather than something that decreases my value.

I feel we’re not really told enough about sex, especially as women. We’re not taught to ask for what we want, we’re not really sure what the norm is… we just feel a lot of pressure to look a certain way and be into certain things, without asking ‘why?’. It was a lot to learn but it gave me the energy to engage with sex in a somewhat surface-level and self-focused way.

As I’ve grown into myself, my relationship with sex has changed so much. I don’t have the energy for sex that doesn’t make me feel safe and grounded. I very rarely feel that animalistic desire to consume sex to satiate a need to figure it – and myself – out, because I’m not aiming for this unachievable pinnacle of orgasm anymore. It’s not a mystery I need to solve to have good sex. But it used to be.

Back in my one night stand days, orgasms felt like the headline act. That everything I — and the person I was in bed with — did, was in the lead up to the orgasm. There were different ways to get there, of course, but really, sex was all about cumming.

It’s a lot of pressure to fully let go and have a wild, mind-bending experience in an intimate setting with someone you hardly know, in the unquestioned effort to reach an orgasm. But it’s always been part of the criteria of doing sex ‘successfully’.

“We’ve come to define ‘good sex’ as achieving an orgasm mostly through the way sex is sold to us,” says sex therapist, Aleks Trkulja. “We’ll often see porn, film and TV scenes that portray a ‘good’ sexual experience as one where people are ejaculating and orgasming.”

Aleks thinks there’s an element of capitalist mentality within it too, where even in sex, we have to “always be producing and achieving and if we’re not, we feel that somehow we’ve failed”. This rings so true to my early experiences with sex. If I wasn’t able to cum or, worse still, I wasn’t able to make the person I was intimate with cum, I felt like I hadn’t done it right.

“There’s this deeply entrenched capitalist attitude, even within a space like sex, that truthfully has no real agenda or criteria of what it should and shouldn’t look like. This pressure is damaging and creates performance anxiety.”

This is why sex can feel stressful. It’s like we’re working towards this goal we don’t really understand and it actually takes us out of the moment and into our heads, making the experience less enjoyable.

And it also becomes boring over time. If each time you have sex with someone new, you’re trying to achieve that same thing in a different way, it can feel predictable. Like, not this again! Not another night of me wondering if I’m good enough at giving blowjobs because they didn’t orgasm from it. Not another night of feeling someone figure out how they’re best going to conquer my body and give me “the best orgasm” I’ve ever had.

By the time I was single again after my previous long-term relationship, I was so done with all of that. I didn’t feel horny for sex unless it was going to be a relaxing, fun and energising experience. To me, that was what I’d come to decide good sex was.

Aleks defines good sex as “a sexually intimate experience you have with consenting adults, where you feel safe and your pleasure is prioritised”. A space that has allowed you to have “an embodied, grounded, enjoyable and curious time”.

“That definition is really important,” she says. “A lot of people assume good sex means you had multiple orgasms, your dick was rock hard the entire time etc. And it actually has very little to do with function and more to do with how safe and present you feel in your body. That you’re enjoying what you’re doing with yourself or with other people.”

Now, at 29, with years of orgasm-chasing one night stands, toxic relationships and unlearning under my belt, I think I finally get it.

You could literally just be lying down with someone, your clothes off and being stroked in a way that makes you tingle all over: that is good sex. If you’re able to create an environment that makes you feel sexually attuned with yourself, where you feel able to explore free of judgment, where you feel turned on without having to think too hard, where your curiosity and comfort, like Aleks said, is more at the forefront of your mind than your orgasm-count; that is good sex.

“Because we live in a culture and society that deeply conditions us with very intense attitudes around sex that are often embedded within shame, it can be a really difficult process to unlearn your sexual attitudes and beliefs,” says Aleks. “It’s really normal to need professional help, often because the people around you haven’t done that work and you’ll constantly be faced with those beliefs.”

However, if we want to feel empowered and energised by sex, it’s important to redefine what pleasure means to us.

“You need to learn to be present in your body and find pleasure and joy in your body, in a way that is not defined by goal-oriented achievements,” she says. “So not: I orgasmed – therefore I achieved good sex, but rather; I felt pleasure in my body, I felt safe in my body, I was curious in my body. That is good enough. It’s pleasurable.”

These feelings need to become the new indicators for what is a sexually satisfying experience – not the big ‘O’.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

August 29, 2024May 13, 2026

How a survey of over 2,000 women in the 1920s changed the way Americans thought about female sexuality

In the 1920s, many women became more comfortable in their skin. But the facts of life remained in short supply.

By Anya Jabour

American women still have fewer orgasms than men, according to new research that suggests that decades after the sexual revolution, the “orgasm gap” is still very much in effect.

One of the study’s lead authors at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction told The New York Times that the gap persists because many Americans continue to “prioritize men’s pleasure and undervalue women’s sexual pleasure.”

As my research shows, these attitudes toward sexual pleasure have a long history.

But so do efforts to push back against them.

Almost a century ago, a pioneering American sex researcher named Katharine Bement Davis challenged the prevailing view that respectable women did not – and should not – experience sexual desire or have sex, except to please men or to have children.

Davis’s 1929 book, “Factors in the Sex Life of Twenty-Two Hundred Women,” completely upended this thinking.

By surveying everyday American women, she was able to show that it was completely normal for American women to have sex for the sake of pleasure.

An unlikely advocate for sexual liberation

Davis spent the first half of her career policing women’s sexuality, not promoting it.

In 1901, after earning her Ph.D. at the University of Chicago, Davis became superintendent of the New York State Reformatory for Women at Bedford Hills. While there, she studied the women in her care. Most female convicts, she concluded, were “immoral women.”

Davis’ efforts to enforce sexual morality drew the attention of philanthropist John D. Rockefeller Jr. In 1917, he invited her to lead his private agency, the Bureau of Social Hygiene, founded to study and combat prostitution and venereal disease.

During World War I, Davis promoted sex education to curb sexually transmitted infections among soldiers and civilians. Through this work, she became convinced that sexual ignorance – not sexual immorality – posed the greatest danger to women’s welfare.

Davis had long criticized the sexual double standard, which condoned men’s sexual experimentation but condemned women’s sexual experience.

Now, she also recognized that this double standard promoted women’s chastity at the expense of knowledge. She complained that discussions of women’s sexuality were “taboo,” which resulted in “distorted views, baffled speculation, and unfortunate experiences.”

Tackling a taboo topic

Insisting that Americans needed accurate information to achieve “a sane outlook on all matters pertaining to sex,” Davis made it her mission to teach women about sex.

But first, she needed to learn about women’s actual sexual experiences. Davis decided to undertake a large-scale study of what she called “the sex life of normal women.”

Davis’ approach was a dramatic departure from existing studies of “abnormal” sexuality focused on institutionalized populations. “Except on the pathological side,” she remarked, “sex is scientifically an unexplored country.”

Woman in white blouse seated in chair posing for a portrait next to a bouquet of flowers. — Katharine Bement Davis was frustrated by the double standard that celebrated men’s sexual experiences and condemned those of women.

By contrast, Davis explained, she wanted to understand “the woman who was not pathological mentally or physically.”

To that end, Davis distributed a detailed questionnaire to what she called “women of good standing in the community” from 1921 to 1923. The resulting study sample of 1,000 married women and 1,200 unmarried women was not representative – it skewed white, well-educated and well-to-do. But their responses allowed Davis to redefine female sexuality.

America’s first sexual revolution

Davis launched her study of women’s sexuality during what historians now refer to as America’s first sexual revolution. The second – and more well-known one – would take place in the 1960s.

In the 1920s, as one commentator noted, a “revolution in manners and morals” was underway. Sex suffused popular culture. Contestants in beauty pageants displayed their charms in skimpy bathing costumes and short skirts. Actresses flaunted their sex appeal on stage and screen.

New attitudes about sex affected the daily lives of average Americans, too. Young women throughout the nation adopted the sexy look of “flappers,” the term used for women who sported short skirts, rolled stockings and bobbed hair.

Prior to the 1920s, courtship often took place in the home, allowing parents to closely supervise couples. But the ubiquitous automobile – which one juvenile court judge had dubbed “a house of prostitution on wheels” – rendered adult chaperonage obsolete and granted young people unprecedented sexual freedom.

Meanwhile, birth control activists like Margaret Sanger and Mary Ware Dennett distributed contraceptive devices and disseminated sexual information in defiance of the Comstock Act of 1873, which had defined birth control and sex education as “obscene” and made circulating such materials a federal crime.

Sex, secrecy and shame

Even amid the nation’s first sexual revolution, the facts of life remained in short supply.

According to surveys Davis distributed to married women, only about half of the respondents believed that they had been “adequately prepared … for the sex side of marriage.”

After expanding her study to include unmarried women, Davis found that fewer than one-third of all participants received sex education from their parents.

Many women didn’t know how pregnancy occurred. Some had been unprepared even for menstruation. One recalled that when she experienced her first period, “I naturally thought I was bleeding to death.”

In place of information, many women imbibed shame. “Having acquired the feeling as a small child that any sex pleasure was shameful and a great sin,” as one respondent put it, some could never overcome their discomfort with sex. Another woman regarded all sexual thoughts as “something to be shunned like the devil.”

One response succinctly summarized the problem: “Our present secrecy, fear, and repression are responsible for most of our sex ills.”

Challenging the conspiracy of silence

Many women were eager to challenge what one called a “conspiracy of silence” surrounding female sexuality.

Study participants ended up providing Davis with over 10,000 pages of handwritten responses. She used this information to produce the nation’s first major study of women’s sexuality, a 400-plus page book brimming with both statistical data and personal stories.

“Factors in the Sex Life of Twenty-Two Hundred Women” covered a wide range of topics, ranging from sex education to sex play. Running throughout the entire work, however, was one central idea: Women liked sex.

Davis included data on birth control, same-sex relationships and masturbation. At the time, these practices were universally stigmatized and often criminalized. Yet significant proportions of study participants engaged in all these activities.

Nearly three-quarters of married respondents reported using contraceptives. Many probably took advantage of state laws allowing physicians to prescribe diaphragms to protect patients’ health. Surprisingly, nearly 1 in 10 women admitted having abortions, even though the procedure was illegal in every state.

More than half of unmarried women and nearly one-third of married women stated that they had experienced “intense emotional relationships” with other women. In each group, approximately half described those relationships as sexual. This was a remarkably high figure, given prevailing views of homosexuality as sexual deviance and state laws criminalizing homosexual acts.

Nearly 65% of unmarried women and more than 40% of married women reported masturbating. Since nearly all physicians and pastors condemned the practice, Davis assumed the actual numbers were even higher.

Davis’ data demonstrated that “normal” women experienced what one called “natural sex feeling.” In short, her study showed that many women enjoyed sex for its own sake.

Davis believed that reliable data would lead to “more satisfactory adjustments of the sex relationship.” In other words, better information would lead to better sex.

Davis paved the way for future studies that validate women’s sexual pleasure. While researching female sexuality, she established the National Research Council’s Committee for Research on the Problems of Sex. The Rockefeller-funded committee later subsidized Alfred Kinsey’s studies of human sexuality.

Davis’ legacy lives on. The findings from the Kinsey Institute’s latest study show that discussing sexual pleasure still matters, particularly for women. It also suggests that Americans’ understandings of sex have improved over the past century.

When Davis conducted her study in the 1920s, she found it “advisable” to define “orgasm” for participants who were unclear on the concept. Now, a generation of better-informed Americans ponder how to address a persistent “orgasm gap.”

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

August 28, 2024May 13, 2026

Can Orgasms Make You Smarter?

— Here’s What Experts Say

Various sections of the brain are activated during the Big O, including the limbic system.

By Kimberly Delarosa

No matter your relationship status or sexual preference, we all want to experience orgasm during sex. And why not? Studies show one of the benefits of orgasm is shutting down the thinking and logical part of our brain; a vacation for the overthinker. Instead, we drift off into an ecstasy of pleasure, a feeling that has inspired poetry, art, and songs for centuries.

While we always remember the feeling, there is a relationship between orgasms, the human brain, and overall health from gynecological and neurological perspectives. And since orgasms have a major effect on the brain, we reached out to experts to ask a simple question: Can orgasms make you smarter?

It’s an especially important question given the persisting orgasm gap. A recent study published by the journal Sexual Medicine found that 82% of men reported orgasm during their most recent casual sexual encounter—compared with only 32% of women. Since the 1970s (the age of female sexual empowerment), resources and information revolving around women’s sexual health has increased. Yet while women may have reached the era of sexual liberation in America, the gap in orgasm satisfaction is still significant. But why?

When it comes to sex for heterosexual couples, studies show that women have a lower orgasm rate due to different definitions of pleasure and satisfaction. “One of the biggest reasons women may struggle to orgasm is a lack of clitoral stimulation,” says Aliyah Moore, a certified sex therapist with a PhD in gender and sexuality studies. The majority of women require direct or indirect clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm, as the clitoris includes a large number of nerve endings that play an important part in sexual pleasure. Men prioritize penile-vaginal intercourse over more clitorally focused sexual activities. This seems to happen mainly in heterosexual relationships, as lesbian and bisexual women reported higher orgasm rates.

Another reason for the orgasm gap is the pressure of performance. “When women feel pressured—either by themselves or by their partner—to attain orgasm, it can cause tension, which makes it even more difficult. The emphasis switches from enjoying the sexual experience to satisfying an expectation, sometimes disrupting the natural rise to orgasm,” says Moore. Women also struggle to orgasm more with age due to hormonal changes, history of abuse, or chronic illnesses.

Low orgasm rates show there’s still more work to do in female sexual empowerment, especially since the deficit is depriving women of numerous health benefits. Ahead, neuroscientists and sex therapists break down how orgasms affect the brain, the physical benefits, and how to increase your orgasm rate overall.

Can orgasms make you smarter?

While there is not yet any concrete evidence that orgasms can boost intelligence, there is something to be said about what happens to the brain when a person reaches orgasm. According to research by Barry Komisaruk, PhD, a psychologist, neuroscientist, and professor at New Jersey’s Rutgers University, “more than 30 major brain systems are activated” during orgasm. Dr. Komisaruk specializes in identifying the brain regions that respond to genital stimulation to generate orgasm in women and men.

In a 2010 research study, Dr. Komisaruk found when a person reaches orgasm, various sections of the brain are activated, including the limbic system (responsible for memory) and the prefrontal cortex (responsible for problem-solving).

The brain produces waves of neurochemicals that activate brain regions during orgasm including the hypothalamic paraventricular nucleus, amygdala, hippocampus, and vagus nerve, among other places. These chemicals are released toward the spinal cord and increase brain activity. So while an orgasm won’t suddenly turn you into a genius, the neurochemicals released during this pleasurable experience can temporarily boost cognitive performance in certain areas.

What are the other benefits of orgasm?

Achieving orgasm regularly provides numerous physical benefits. While sexual activity has been known to release endorphins and oxytocin (resulting in feeling relaxed), orgasms through sex can help relieve menstrual pain, reduce stress, improve bladder control, and promote better sleep. In Dr. Komisaruk’s book The Science of Orgasms, women who engaged in sex during menstruation were less likely to develop endometriosis. It also helps regulate hormones, positively impacting mood and overall health. But that’s not all!

“Sex may also be associated with beauty, as it can increase levels of DHEA, a hormone which is thought to ward off depression and promote shiny hair, glowing skin, and bright eyes,” says Jessica O’Riley, PhD, a sexologist and relationship expert. “This explains the term sex glow.”

Regular sexual activity, whether with a partner or solitary, is associated with higher levels of estrogen, which is key for supporting skin health by increasing collagen and hyaluronic acid naturally. Sex is also a form of exercise and can help boost blood flow throughout the body, which helps reduce stress and has been linked with decreased risk of the common cold or flu and protection against viruses, including influenza.

How can you increase your orgasm rate for better health?

The answer is simple: solo play. Masturbation has been linked to an increase in positive body image and self-confidence when it comes to sex. Sofie Roos, licensed sexologist and couples therapist, suggests this is the first step to reaching sexual satisfaction and a consistent orgasm rate. “Discover yourself and understand your own body and how you can orgasm. Find what physical stimulation you need, such as what sex positions you like best, but also what angles, pressure, and pace you enjoy the most.”

If you’re not in a relationship and would prefer to fly solo, it doesn’t hurt to invest in a good vibrator. Companies like Kama, Omgyesa, and Quinn have taken the lead on sexual wellness, allowing women to experience sex in new and exciting ways.

If you’re in a relationship and want to increase your orgasm rate with your partner, the key is to have a real conversation about sex—not just dirty talk. “All couples have different ways of communicating around sex, and a great way to do it if you find it difficult is in places where you’re most comfortable, like a car ride or a walk,” says Roos.

This conversation can (and should) feel safe and open. “It helps to have a conversation starter to ease into the topic, like an icebreaker,” says Roos. “For example, you can say you saw an advertisement for this new couples’ sex toy that promised to give amazing orgasms and you’re curious to try it, or that you read about a sex position with a higher chance for women to orgasm—like cowgirl or doggy style—and ask if they want to try.”

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

July 5, 2010June 1, 2026

A Sizzlin Firecracker Of A Q&A Show — Podcast #216 — 07/05/10

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

I know it’s a holiday weekend here in Americanskiville, and I know I should be hanging out at the pool or barbeque instead of slingin’ my tits over this hot microphone, but I can’t help it. I gotta catch up on all the questions that have been piling up since our last Q&A session back in May. And there’s a shit-load of ‘em don’t cha know.

We hear from:

Mike says it takes him too long to get off.
Tomas is terrified he might be gay.
Astrit has questions about anal douching.
Connor has a overly sensitive dickhead.
Sharon is very suspicious about FSD, or female sexual dysfunction.
Glenda loves giving her husband blowjobs, but he doesn’t cum that way.
Angelo is a crossdresser and his wife pegs him in the ass.
Bill doesn’t like the advice I give some women.
Paul might be a teensy bit queer.
Josh has a BF that doesn’t like his foreskin.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

May 24, 2010June 1, 2026

Big Fat Q&A Show — Podcast #207 — 05/24/10

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

We take a bit of a break from The Erotic Mind podcast series today to attend to the unsightly buildup in both my voicemail and email in-boxes. And you know there’s nothing more embarrassing that unsightly buildup in your box, huh?

Josh shoots meth in his dick. But there’s been an accident.
Jen has a BF that can’t get her off.
Brandi has been going along for the ride for 10 years!
Coral is starving to death…sexually.
Billy is in the throws of andropause and he’s clueless.
Betty’s vibrator broke…inside her!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

October 2, 2009July 9, 2026

Luscious LELO, Our Conclusion

For the last seven months, the Dr Dick Review Crew has been reveling in the sensuous pleasures that are LELO. We’ve brought you 4 reviews so far — ELISE, BO, IRIS and GIGI

Today, we conclude our LELO presentation with three other amazing products. Review Crew Members: Kevin & Gina, Joy & Dixie and Brad do the honors.

ELLA —— $44.00

Kevin & Gina
Gina: “We kicked off the LELO reviews with our review of GIGI.”
Kevin: “So there’s some beautiful symmetry to us being part of the concluding reviews.”
Gina: “And speaking of symmetry we have the pleasure of introducing you to ELLA, another stunning pleasure object from the undisputed leader in adult products, LELO!”
Kevin: “ELLA is not a vibrator. It is, however, a beautifully sculpted insertable that is ideal for G-spot or P-spot stimulation.”
Gina: “And you can use either end! It’s like getting two toys in one.”
Kevin: “It comes in the famous LELO high-end packaging. It’s perfect for gift giving. But for those of us who appreciate minimal packaging, it can sometimes feel like over kill.”
Gina: “And because there is no vibration with this pleasure object, there’s no fussing with batteries or dubious recharge ports. Besides, I like the fact that I can be the instrument of my own bliss.”
Kevin: “It’s made of 100% seamless silicone. It is soft and velvety and beautiful to the touch. It’s approximately 7.25 inches long and 1.5 inches across at the widest point. Like Gina mentioned, ELLA can be inserted using either end. The curved tip is just like the GIGI. I LOVE IT!
Gina: “Because it is silicone, it cleans up is easy with mild soap and warm water. You can wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with hydrogen peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too. If you’re going to share this toy, and I really think you should, you can serialize it in boiling water for a minute or two, or pop it in the top shelf of the dishwasher.”
Kevin: “I totally agree that you ought to share this toy. We all have a ‘spot’ of one sort or another — G or P, that is. Just insert the curved tip about two inches into your pussy or asshole, as the case may be, with the curve pointed towards the front of your body and rock the handle up and down. Oh baby, oh baby!”
Gina: “Kevin does not exaggerate. This is what I meant when I said I like being the instrument of my own bliss.”
Kevin: “If you’re more of a dildo kinda person, the other, long tapered end of ELLA will put a smile on your face.”
Gina: “Use it on yourself for solo play; use it on your partner for partnered play.”
Kevin: “And it’s not just a pleasure object; it’s also a therapeutic object. You can use this honey to do your Kegels with too. And all of us, men and women need to do those.”
Gina: “Of course, you can use only water-based lube with this beauty. And when you’re finished diddling yourself and/or your partner clean it and store it in the satin pouch thoughtfully provided by the good people at LELO.”
Kevin: “This is one of the more affordable LELO products. Beautiful styling and superior quality for under fifty bucks. You can’t beat that with a stick!”

Next up is BOB. We turn to Brad for his thoughts.

BOB —— $49.00

Brad
Hey, isn’t BOB and acronym for Big Old Bottom? That’s what Dr Dick keeps calling me! So ok, I’m a straight guy with a thing for his prostate. For years I couldn’t admit this to myself, let alone others. But nowadays I’m an out and proud butt pirate.

And as a personal trainer, I often find myself talking to my male clients about prostate health. Apparently, my straight clients find that information easier to take because I’m straight too. And I’ve been telling them about my BOB, you can count on that.

Anyhow, I’m like totally down with BOB, this stylish gentleman’s butt plug. If you’ve never tried a plug, this is the ideal starter size. It’s about 3” of insertable length and not much thicker than my thumb. It is easy to insert, even for the novice. And because its “plug” shaped it stays in place once inserted. BTW, you’ll want to use a water-based lube with this 100% silicone toy.

BOB is so comfortable, as well as being very stimulating, so you can wear it for hours. I do. People often ask me why I smile so much and why am so easy going. If they only knew I had BOB in my ass! I absolutely love saying that.

BOB has this ring on its base; this keeps it from going in too far and makes pulling it out of your ass a breeze. If you really want to treat yourself to a nice prostate massage, all ya do is use the ring to make thrusting and rocking motions. I can actually cum by massaging my prostate like this. I don’t even have to touch my dick.

LELO makes BOB affordable; it’s under $50. But you still get all the special LELO touches, like beautiful packaging and even a little satin pouch for safe keeping, when it’s not up your bum. Because it’s silicone its easy to clean with mild soap and warm water. You can wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too. You can serialize it in boiling water for a minute or two, or pop it in the dishwasher.

Dudes, if you still think that ass play, even by yourself is like all gay and stuff, you are totally missing out. Get a BOB and find out what I mean. And you’ll be on your way to some fine pleasure as well as some serious prostate health.

Finally there’s LUNA BEADS and for that review we turn to Joy & Dixie

LUNA BEADS —— $47.00

Joy & Dixie
Joy: “We’re glad to be back with everyone after having a couple months off. We were on an extended holiday and we missed all our toys at home while we were away.”
Dixie: “That’s not exactly true, we did take a couple of our favorite toys with us. One new one that we well talk about at another time, and the other was our delightful LUNA BEADS. They are very discreet and easy to pack. And they are both pleasurable and therapeutic.”
Joy: “LUNA BEADS are LELO’s take on a very old idea, Ben Wa Balls. You’ve heard of them, right? They were invented hundreds of years ago, to enhance female sexual stimulation and to exercise a woman’s PC muscles (pubococcygeus muscle). In other words, you do your Kegel exercises with these puppies.
Dixie: “Here’s a tip; the more Kegels you do, the more intense your orgasms are.”
Joy: “You simply insert the LUNA BEADS, each of which has an inner ball that creates the most amazing vibration sensation.”
Dixie: “The kit comes with two sets of silicone balls that pop in and out of a plastic girdle – one set is close to 30 grams and the other set is around 40 grams.”
Joy: “You can mix and match the weighted balls to build up your PC muscles. And you can wear these for hours, if you’d like. I know I like!”
Dixie: “Being made of silicone they are easy to sterilize, which makes the LUNA BEADS shareable. But for under $50 you may want your own set.”
Joy: “Dixie and I both like to masturbate with the LUNA BEADS. They deliver intense orgasms, because your muscles contract around the vibrating balls.”
Dixie: “You can say that again. And there’s never a need to change batteries or wait for a recharge. You can see why we took the LUNA BEADS on our vacation.”
Joy: “We completely endorse this product. They are both fun and healthful. We’ll never leave home without them.”
Dixie: “Given all the very expensive toys out there, including several of the other LELO products, one can’t go wrong plunking down your hard-earned money for a set of these.”
Joy: “Our friend, Karen, is about to give birth to her first child. We’re going to give her LUNA BEADS at the baby shower. No mother should be without!”

ENJOY!

June 12, 2009July 9, 2026

Class (GLASS) Act

Hey sex fans,

Lookie what we have here; its art that is as stunning on your mantle as it is inside you. Over the next two weeks, the Dr Dick Review Crew has the pleasure (both literally and figuratively) of introducing you to three exquisite insertables by a brand new artisan: Simply Blown. They get extra points for their name and the double entendre. Who doesn’t appreciate a sex toy company with a sense of humor?

Each one of the toys we have is unique. They are individually crafted and are museum quality. Think of it as old world craftsmanship with a wickedly sexy edge. What could be finer?

Dr Dick Review Crew members — Gina & Kevin and Joy & Dixie do the honors.

This week Gina & Kevin is tell us about Love Line.

Gina: “You can understand my excitement when Kevin and I were chosen to review these beauties. Just look at them! I could hardly contain myself.”
Kevin: “She gets that way sometimes.”
Gina: “What, are you trying to say you didn’t cream your jeans at the thought of having one of this up your bum?”
Kevin: “Oh I’m so BUSTED!”
Gina: “There, I told you.”
Kevin: “Gina’s right we both got a little moist at the thought of diddlin’ ourselves (and one another) with the likes of the Love Line. She got the big one — 9″ tall x 1 5/8″ diameter, which stand on a flared base.”
Gina: “And he got the petite one — 5″ tall x 1″ diameter, also with a flared base.”
Kevin: “She used hers in her pussy, I used mine in my ass!”
Gina: “It’s exactly like Jack Sprat and his wife, only completely different.”
Kevin: “We no sooner got in the door when we dropped trou, whipped out the lube and had at it for our first go.”
Gina: “The tiniest bit of lube, either water-based or silicone-based, makes these beautiful glass insertables super slick.”
Kevin: “I love to watch Gina fuck herself with her toys. I get so fuckin’ hot. The Love Line glass made the experience almost psychedelic. Once she got her rhythm, the 9” of super-smooth purple art plunged deeper into Gina with each stroke. This drove her wild. And, of course, I egged her on by making the most lewd comments I could think of. ‘That’s it baby, stretch out that tiny little cunt of yours with that really big boy.’ ”
Gina: “He does love his dirty talk. I used to be so embarrassed when he would do that. It sounded so crude. Now turns me on. See I’m growing!”
Kevin: “Gina’s on her back, propped up by pillows. I’m opposite her squatting till my ass lips come in contact with the glass. It’s cool and my ass devours it.”
Gina: “It’s true, without so much as a moment’s hesitation the petite pink plug disappears inside him. He grins with amusement and spews more filthy talk.”
Kevin: “I’ve taken bigger, but the hardness of the glass is a new sensation. Oh, and by the way, this insertable can’t really be called a plug. It’s a dildo. A plug would have a notch just before the base that my sphincter would lock onto to hold it in place.”
Gina: “I stand corrected.”
Kevin: “I sure do hope Simply Blown does come out with a line of plugs. Because I would love to wear one of these babies for a few hours.”
Gina: “We both came watching each other pleasure ourselves. I love to watch Kevin feed his behind.”
Kevin: “Don’t you just love how she avoids calling my asshole an asshole?”
Gina: “Sheesh!”
Kevin: “On our next date with the Love Line we took our time. We added some sensation play. The Love Line, indeed all fine glass like this, can be heated and chilled. We used both, a hot water bath in one bowl and an ice water bath in the other. Going from hot to cold or cold to hot blew our minds.”
Gina: “These toys are meant to shared. Because glass is nonporous, cleaning and disinfecting is a snap. Mild soap and water to clean; a 10% bleach solution, boiling or the dishwasher to disinfect.”
Kevin: “On our next go at these lovelies; I got to try the big boy, the one Gina had first. It took some time and some deep breathing but I did it. Gina helped me relax. And once I had the gape goin, she plugged my ass but good.”
Gina: “He is an ass-slut, that’s for damn sure. See I said ass!”
Kevin: “Gina liked the petite dildo. It was easier to hit her G-spot.”
Gina: “I highly recommend the Love Line to anyone who is looking for the classic glass dildo. You will not be disappointed.”
Kevin: “And anyone out there still unsure about glass toys, if you buy quality, like the Simply Blown line, you have nothing to worry about. But like all high-end toys you need to treat it right. Care for it properly, and it will last a lifetime.”
Gina: “Generally we are able include a retail price and a link to an online store with our reviews. Unfortunately, we can’t do that this week. Simply Blown is so new a company that you’ll just have to contact them directly and ask for pricing.”

ENJOY

April 24, 2009July 5, 2026

No Song Unsung, No Wine Untasted

Hey sex fans,

Listen up!

I’m adding a new feature to my Q&A columns. Whenever possible, I will include in my response a link to a movie in my HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY that will further educate or enrich the person who is asking the question.

Think of it as at HOMEWORK or further study on the topic at hand. I hope all of you will benefit from this terrific instructional and enriching resource.

Name: Bob
Gender:
Age: 48
Location: Long Island, N.Y.
Almost 20 yrs. ago I had a transexual encounter. It was different but wonderful. Now I find myself wanting to explore this experience again. I’m now married with kids and I know it’s cheating but it won’t leave my thoughts. I don’t know what to think. I love being with a woman but this hunger won’t go away and I ‘m not entirely sure if I want it to. I don’t know if this means I’m gay, bi, or what. Please, please, if you’ve any advice your help and thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Hey Bob, the question of weather this craving makes you are gay, bi or what is the least of your issues, darlin’. You got this jones about chicks with dicks and it won’t go away because you don’t want it to go away. It’s a hunger that you feed by starving it. And I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and guess that you will, in pretty short order, go out and get you some of this exotic monkey love, just like before you were married. And I also predict that you will make it a habit, risks to your comfortable life and cheating on you wife not withstanding.

Here’s the thing about sexual obsessions of any stripe. The more you starve them the more the hunger consumes you. So rather than treat the desire head on, perhaps you need to address the underlying issues that give rise to it. I’d be willing to speculate that your life has become so predictable, mundane and lethargic that you long to be startled awake from this slumber. You entertain these juicy revelries as a way of keeping yourself from completely succumbing to the boredom. Am I right, Bob? I think I am.

You see, the real issue here is not your cravings for a walk on the wild side; it’s the boredom at your core. Desperate men do desperate things. And bored men do foolish things. So I suppose you need to ask yourself, to what lengths are you willing to go to satisfy this craving? And once you answer that, the more important question remains to be answered. How many times will you have to satisfy your craving to balance out the monotony in the rest of your life?

You see, how this has virtually nothing to do with your sexual orientation, gay, bi or whatever; it has to do with your lifestyle.

Perhaps, indulging your sexual fantasy in the relatively harmless form of some video consumption might assuage your obsession. It sure beats skippin’ out on your wife and family to satisfy your jones.

Name: Fran
Gender: Female
Age: 33
Location: South Africa
I have a new lover, 10 years my junior. We meet at a play party about three weeks ago. He is very adventuresome and totally submissive. He told me he wants me to shave him from head to toe and he wants me to do this while he is restrained and gagged. I’m confident about my bondage skills, but I’ve never saved anyone. Do you have any tips?

Some gals have all the luck! You gots yourself a submissive pup; good for you! Just think, this shaving scene could be a real Samson and Delilah kinda set up, and hopefully one of biblical proportions. HOT!

The overall body shave can be a bit tricky, especially for those sensitive areas of the body not used to being shaved. You can pretty much count on some nicks and cuts and there will be a fair amount of post-shave skin irritation too. It’s just par for the course. Ya’ll can minimize a lot of this by attending to some fundamentals before the event begins.

nakedballs

Most us men have discovered that shaving our face later in the day, or better…at night makes shaving easier. The same is true for fetish shaving. Nighttime is the best time! Work in a clean, well-lit place. The darkened dungeon is good choice for after-shave play, but you’ll need lots of light for the shave itself. You also need ready access to lots of clean hot water. So why not strap the boy to the bathroom sink, shower head, or better yet the kitchen table.

If the pup resembles the missing link, you’ll want to start the whole business by trimming his body hair as close to the skin as possible before you employ the razor. I suggest using a high quality barber shears for this.

Choose your razors carefully. Unless you are a real connoisseur and know how to wield a straight razor, stick with safety razors. Since you’re gonna be doing his whole body, be sure to stock up on a shit-load of the quality plastic disposable kind. You will find that the blades dull really fast when they are shaving course body hair. Dull razors, as everyone knows, will nick and scrape more than a sharp razor. You’ll want to minimize the number of times you pull the razor across any given patch of skin so as to minimize razor burn.

Cover the area you are about to shave with a hot, wet towel. It’ll soften the hair and makes it easier to remove. Use lots of shaving gel. Gel is better than shaving cream for sensitive skin. Always shave with the growth of the hair, not against. Be sure to have a styptic pencil or gel handy to stop bleeding when you nick the little monkey. And depending on how fastidious you are; keep a pair tweezers handy for yanking out the stray hairs you and your razor miss. This will give your sub something to remember!

No matter how careful you are, there will always be microscopic nicks and cuts afterwards. Left untreated, this can leave the skin open to a nasty infection. To prevent this, apply a liberal amount of an astringent, like which hazel. Hydrogen peroxide is and excellent and inexpensive alternative.

Ya know those nasty little red bumps that are caused by ingrown hairs? You can cut down on these little buggers by buffing the freshly shaved area with a cosmetic buff pad. Finally, a liberal application of a moisturizer is recommended to cut down on the itching that will inevitably follow. If the sub has never done this before, he will soon find out that he will be plagued by itching as his hair starts to grow in. Too bad for him, huh?

As you can see, this is gonna be a whole lot of work for you. And there’s gonna be a lot of clean up too. Lucky for you, you’ll have a freshly shaved sub to do all the work while you relax kick your feet up and eat your bonbons.

This might be helpful too — check out my review of The Ultimate Personal Shaver Kit HERE!

Here are some video suggestions to accompany my thoughts.

Name: Susie
Gender:
Age: 25
Location: Indianapolis
My husband and I are beginning to experiment with some light bondage and discipline. We’d like to know more about this and how to play safely. Unfortunately, because of his job we are stuck here in Indianapolis for another whole year. We have yet to find even one other person around here who shares our kink. So we don’t have anyone to ask about this.

Ahhh, the joys of the heartland. I’d be willing to guess there are other kinky pervs, like you guys, right there in Indian-apollis, but they don’t know how to find you anymore than you guys know how to find them. Kinda sad, huh? Well probably ya’ll are gonna need to turn to them internet tubes for the help you’re looking for. Kink and BDSM sites abound. Almost all of them have great “how to” and “helpful tips” sections geared to the budding kinkster. Several of these sites also feature profiles, chat rooms and bulletin boards for like-minded folks to connect and play.

For something really special, check out my newest podcast series — Sex EDGE-U-cation. I’m chatting with prominent educators, practitioners and advocates of unconventional sexual expressions and lifestyles from all over the world.

But since you are here, darlin’, I do have some preliminary thoughts to share. First, every scene should be negotiated before play begins. Never bypass this important step even if the two of you only play with one another. Ya see, what you don’t want to have happen is to break the mood mid-scene to ask a question or seek direction. All that should be taken care of before you start the play. Get use to working out all the logistics a head of time. These important negotiation sessions will also force you to communicate with each other and give you a ready vocabulary for talking with other prospective partners should the opportunity ever arise.

Negotiating a BDSM scene is not a “I’ll do this for you if you do that for me” sort of deal, like in vanilla sex. Rather it’s an honest discussion about you and your partner’s wants, needs, expectations and limits for the scene. Regardless if you are the dominant top or a submissive bottom, you must be equal partners when negotiating each scene.

If you do this sort of play a lot, the negotiations may become perfunctory. But like I said, they ought never be skipped. The nature of these negotiations is to set parameters, ascertain boundaries and establish limits — for example the intensity and duration of the scene. You may find that you need to set a time limit for your play, or discuss the type of restraints and means of discipline to be used. Debriefing (also known as Aftercare), once the scene is ended, is also a real good idea. You’ll, of course, need to establish safewords for your play. And if you don’t know what those are; you’d best stick to vanilla.

The more experience you have, the more likely you will develop a shorthand for negotiating your play. However, the less experienced you are, the more important it will be to spell out absolutely everything. Your negotiations ought to be a frank and open discussion, no holds bared as it were. Remember, you are not in the scene yet. So no one, dom or sub, has more input than the other. Speak and question one another freely.

The first question the dom needs to ask of the sub is “What are your limits?” Be specific, direct and pointed when you ask about one’s limits. The novice sub may not know his or her limits, so the dom will have to proceed with the utmost caution. This is where the safeword will most likely come into play.

The sub ought to have unqualified trust in the dom; without this the scene isn’t play, it’s abuse. Remember, there is never room for coercion in the negotiations. Save the guilt tripping, shame-inducement and intimidation for the scene itself.

Here’s some at homework for you and your husband. Check out The Surrender Of O. This is just one of the exceptionally fine enrichment videos in my How To Video Library.

Name: juan
Gender: Male
Age: 32
Location:
When me and my wife have sex I like to cum in her ass. Is that bad for her?

If her’s is the only ass you cum in, there’s no problem.

However, if you’re dippin’ you wick in other bung-holes, or have multiple partners of any sort, exchanging bodily fluids is not recommended.

Good luck ya’ll

March 30, 2009May 24, 2026

The Erotic Mind of Shanna Germain — Podcast #111 — 03/30/09

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

I have an outstanding show in store for you today. I have the pleasure of introducing you to an extremely talented young woman. She is a journalist, an editor, an award-winning poet, a prolific author of short stories and avid sports enthusiast. She has a wicked sense of humor and an immense erotic mind worthy of our investigation.

summervacation Devoted fans of the best written erotica will, no doubt, be familiar with my guest, Shanna Germain. Her work is everywhere, in print as well as online. Shanna is my latest guest in this series of interviews with noted erotic artists called The Erotic Mind. I am chatting with these ingenious people in hopes of uncovering something of the creative process involved with this specialized art form.

For more of Shanna and her work, be sure to visit her site HERE!

Shanna and I discuss:

Writing under her own name.
Evolving from freelance writer to erotic author.
What sparks the images that become her erotica.
Building sexual tension in a petite work of art.
Skillfully writing in different voices.

As a special treat, Shanna will share with us two mouth-watering selections of the fruit of her Erotic Mind. The first is a sultry poem. The second piece will be of particular interest to those in my audience facing life-threatening illness. Don’t miss this people!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download