REVIEW #30

Hey sex fans,

Today we have something extraordinary indeed.

Over the last several months The Dr Dick Review Crew has had the pleasure of reviewing several exquisite high-end insertables made from some surprising materials. Among them — Pyrex glass, medical grade silicone, wood and even aircraft-quality spun aluminum.  Besides being fun and functional; each and every one of these lovelies is also an exceptional work of art.  Today we add porcelain to that list of exceptional materials.

Gina & Kevin — Reviews #4, 13, 16, 17, 18, 23, 24, 27. 28

Goldfrau — Miss Pink $240

Gina:  “If I were to try to design the perfect dildo, I couldn’t do better than this Australian company has done with their signature product — Goldfrau.  It’s simply perfect and perfectly simple.  It’s delightfully sensual; it’s beautiful art; it’s creatively innovative and it is GREEN!  I know I’m gushing, but my Goldfrau is stunning.”
Kevin:  “Gina’s right; I’m blown away too.”
Gina:  “I admit, at first I was a little skeptical. Porcelain is ceramic, of course, and all I could think of was how fragile that would make it.  I had the vision of a fine porcelain doll in mind.  I was oh so wrong.  After a little research, I discovered that stoneware ceramics, like this, are exceptionally durable and versatile.   There are ceramic knives, ceramic engines parts and the space shuttle’s exterior is made of ceramic tiles.”
Kevin:  “The ceramic used in crafting the Goldfrau will not chip, crack, or break under normal use.  And you’re gonna want to treat this baby with loving care, not because it’s fragile, but because it is a stunning work of art”
Gina:  “Check this out!  The Goldfrau comes wrapped in this handsome lined soft leather pouch that just screams elegance.  The Miss Pink Goldfrau I have is cream-colored porcelain with an intricate lavender lace pattern on it. The shaft is absolutely smooth and it’s just a tad short of 9″ long.  It has a real nice heft to it too; nearly 10 ounces.”
Kevin:  “It’s shaped like a baseball bat with a rounded handle, which makes for easy handling even when lubed.  We discovered that a little lube went a very long way.  And you can use any type of lube you want with this porcelain beauty.”
Gina:  “Here’s a really neat feature I discovered. Despite the straight shaft, the Goldfrau is perfect for G-spot stimulation.  It’s odd, because most of the other G-spot stimulators I’ve seen or used have a curve to them. The Goldfrau does not.”
Kevin:  “Yeah, I feel confident using this thing on Gina without fear of injuring her.  Those curved dildos can sometime get turned around in her pussy and when the curve is pointing opposite to the G-spot that can hurt.”
Gina:  “I also really like the fact that I can warm and chill the Goldfrau to suit my mood.  It’s very easy to do.  You can chill it in the refrigerator for a few minutes or warm it by running hot water over it.”
Kevin:  “And it changes temperature very quickly.  So get this, one evening I blindfolded Gina and restrained her spread-eagle on the bed.  I had a bowl of ice water and a bowl of hot water next to the bed.  I teased and tormented her clit and pussy with surprises in varying temperatures.  She got so wet I had to get down on all fours and lapped up all her sweet juices.  And you can use either end of the Goldfrau for wicked pleasure”
Gina:  “I have to admit, not knowing what was coming next — cold or hot drove me wild.  I was so totally turned on.  And I don’t think I ever lubricated that much in my life.  My man knows how to push my buttons.”
Kevin:  “While we were doing this hot/cold thing I made up a story about an beautiful Chinese princess who had been abducted by a cruel warlord and was being tortured into submission.  The warlord would fuck the princess wildly with an exquisite…wait for it…ancient porcelain dildo.”
Gina:  “As you can see, Kevin’s been reading too much erotica. But I did love his story.  And being blindfolded and restrained only intensified the experience.”
Kevin:  “Hey, there’s no such thing as too much erotica.”
Gina:  “You’re right, hon; you can tell me dirty stories anytime.  Just make sure the Goldfrau is near at hand.  I also want to mention that the Goldfrau, I guess because of its heft, fills me up more than it’s girth would suggest.”
Kevin:  “Ya know what?  I think the Goldfrau people should work on developing a similar porcelain toy just for us ass-centric men.  I mean a guy could use one of these on himself to great effect.  I’m just thinking something more along the lines of a hefty porcelain butt plug would totally rock.”
Gina:  “Clean up is easy with mild soap and warm water. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.  You can serialize it in boiling water for a minute or two, or pop it in the dishwasher with all your other fine china.”
Kevin:  “Guys, if you want to show your Valentine just how special she is; the Goldfrau is the idea gift.  It’s a little pricey, but you know your gal is worth it.  Besides, you’ll not find its equal anywhere else.”
Gina:  “And gals, if you buy only one new pleasure instrument this year; make sure it is a Goldfrau.  You will forever thank me for this tip; I promise.”

ENJOY