Traditionally, most of us have considered kink to be something outside the conventional ideas of sex, however, a study by the University of Brighton has suggested that as many as 20-30% of the UK population has engaged in it.
However, according to one expert, there is far more nuance to this subculture than we think and, actually, kink is good for more than just spicing up your sex life. In fact, getting familiar with our kinks can actually improve our relationships overall.
HuffPost UK spoke exclusively with Gigi Engle, certified sex and relationship psychotherapist and resident intimacy expert at relationship exploration and dating app 3Fun, to learn more about what we should all know about this hot topic…
Everything you didn’t know about kink, according to an expert
Engle believes that to some degree, this sexual subculture is being misrepresented. Speaking about the popular films that depict kink, she says: “Kink in mainstream media often neglects the plentiful nuance and negotiation that goes into kink, instead choosing to sensationalise it.
“What we’re supposed to be seeing is something sexy and kinky, but what we’re really seeing is glorified abuse. This isn’t what kink is about. Kink is about boundaries, clear negotiation, and being 100% on board with everything.”
Unfortunately, she warns, this misrepresentation can lead to prejudice and even encouraging abuse. “We often see consent left out of mainstream depictions and this can lead to a lot of problematic outcomes such as people trying ‘kink’ in ways that are very unsafe, people thinking that if you’re into kink you’re into abuse and much more,” Engle explains.
However, while the sexpert acknowledges that this isn’t always the case, she does urge that filmmakers should work directly with sex workers who specialise in kink to help them to create better, more accurate representations.
Until then, Engle urges people to look at how (healthy) kink can improve their relationships, saying: “Kink allows couples to explore fantasy and power dynamics in a unique way. It can really open the doors to greater exploration and excitement, which can be great for deepening intimacy and increasing desire.
“It can aid in sexual communication through negotiation and boundary setting and allow couples to deepen trust by learning and trying things together in a safe way. Kink is part of how adults play. It’s how we get to know our deeper desires and explore together in a way that is bonding and often quite transformative.”
If you’re single, this is of course, a little more complex. Kink requires mutual trust, and an inherent feeling of safety, which isn’t always possible when you’re sleeping with new people.
Engle advises following these three steps to engage in kink safely as a single person:
Always vet partners. You want to ask for references if you’re going to do kink play with a new partner. It’s completely OK to ask to speak to former kink partners because this stuff can be really dangerous and shouldn’t be practiced by someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing.
Set clear boundaries and safewords with all new partners.
Practice alone. You can engage in what’s called “self dominance” or “self submission” where the power dynamics you’re playing with are with yourself. This can look like practicing Shibari rope tying on yourself, using toys on yourself with a set intention for dominance or submission, or using implements like flogger on yourself.
During the recent debate with Gov. Tim Walz, U.S. Sen. J.D. Vance alluded once again to the myth of “post-birth abortions” when he referenced his (mis)understanding of Minnesota’s reproductive health care laws. He claimed that Walz signed a bill that allows “a doctor who presides over an abortion, where the baby survives, the doctor is under no obligation to provide lifesaving care to a baby who survives a botched late term abortion.”
Vance seemingly referred to the 2023 Legislature’s repeal of the “Born Alive Infants Protection Act.” The new law now allows parents to hold and show love to their infants born with fetal abnormalities often incompatible with life, while no longer mandating doctors perform medical interventions that have no chance of success.
This follows the presidential debate during which Donald Trump repeated his claim that abortions are being performed post-birth. While moderator Linsey Davis quickly fact-checked, “There is no state in the country where it is legal to kill a baby after it was born,” there remain voters who believe these harmful myths about abortion care. While fear and misplaced trust play a role, insufficient sex education policies lay the foundation that allows such persistent misunderstanding of pregnancy and abortion.
Thirty states require sex education, but 17 of them mandate an abstinence-only approach. Just three states both require sex education and establish that the education must be comprehensive (e.g., curriculum inclusive of a wide range of sexual, gender and relationship heath topics not limited to abstinence).
Unfortunately, Minnesota is not one of them — our state laws currently require only that schools teach sex education; that it is “technically accurate”; and that it covers abstinence.
Across the country, the state of sex education is not an accident.
Since the 1973 Roe v. Wade Supreme Court decision, opposition to abortion rights has gone hand in hand with dismantling sex education in public schools. It began with the 1970’s emergence of the Christian right in backlash to the era’s sexual revolution, and it’s continued to current day Project 2025. In each case, anti-abortion sentiments have accompanied restrictions on sex education under the umbrella of “family values.” These values often resulted in support for abstinence-only sex education, which prevents youth from accessing information about sexuality and pregnancy that does not involve waiting to have sex until marriage.
Anti-abortion advocates know that increased understanding of sex, reproduction and pregnancy encourages support for reproductive freedoms. Twenty-five states have either banned abortion or restricted it beyond what Roe v. Wade allowed before its fall in 2022. Meanwhile, in 2024, over 450 bills have been introduced around the country intending to restrict or remove sex education content or instruction from schools. Many of the states where the most restrictive sex education bills have been introduced — and passed — are states with abortion bans and restrictions.
The purposeful attacks on sex education in schools is exceptionally upsetting considering the consistent findings that high quality sex education reduces rates of unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, while also improving social/emotional learning, increasing media literacy, and developing skills for preventing partner violence and fostering healthy relationships.
But anti-abortion politicians aren’t the only ones who realize this connection. Researchers presenting at the 2024 Southern Political Science Association Conference shared that knowledge about pregnancy “is significantly associated with more (pro-abortion rights) attitudes.” That relationship proved strong across study participants’ political beliefs and religious identities — both of which are often presented as main sources of abortion rights opinions.
Lack of pregnancy knowledge allows space for anti-abortion activists to frame abortion as a moral issue instead of a health care necessity. Take Ed Martin, a Republican Party platform leader at the 2024 RNC, who previously claimed on his podcast,Pro America, that “No abortion is ever performed to save the life of the mother — none, zero, zilch.” This rhetoric negates all the health complications of pregnancy, as well as the life-saving care required to treat them. The complexity and risks of pregnancy — like ectopic pregnancies that cannot be safely carried to term or preexisting health issues made more deadly by the bodily changes of growing a fetus — are too great to legislate in a way that allows true care for any and all who need, and yes choose, to access it.
Despite its widespread support, sex education is rarely included in the advocacy of reproductive rights organizations. Abortion rights are popular in this country, but not as popular as school-based sex education. While 67% of Americans support legal abortion in most or all cases, nearly 89% of Americans — and 90% of parents — believe sexual health education should be in schools. Notably, when Black women lead on abortion rights, they more often advocate for reproductive as well as parenting justice that includes sex education advocacy. The rest of us should take note.
This means taking a broader view of what advocating for reproductive rights looks like. Our methods for supporting pro-abortion rights candidates and organizations appear clear, but supporting sex education in our communities, states, and country requires a slightly different approach.
Education policies come from federal funding and standards, state laws, educational department standards, and local school districts. As the election looms and the school year has begun, consider the candidates at every level — especially the school board — on your ballot. While candidates and advocates are much more openly discussing abortion, sex education remains laden with the perception of controversy and stigma.
We can advance access to sexual health information that students need and deserve by talking about sex education and pushing candidates to do the same. This could be at school board meetings, town halls, caucuses, or by contacting candidates directly. Organizations like Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States, or SIECUS, and state-based nonprofits provide opportunities to use your voice for true reproductive freedom that can only come from informed and sexually literate communities.
Ensuring reproductive rights for future generations requires more than fighting for abortion access today. It means advocating for sex education policies that will prevent us from falling into traps of disinformation for decades to come.
It’s hard to miss the overflowing bowl of condoms at the entrance of the gym.
Some University of Mississippi students walking past after their workout snicker and point, and the few who step forward to consider grabbing a condom rethink it when their friends catch up, laughter trailing behind them. Almost no one actually reaches in to take one.
Though officials say they refill the bowl multiple times a day, and condoms are available at multiple places on campus, Ole Miss students say the disinterest is indicative of changing attitudes.
Fewer young people are having sex, but the teens and young adults who are sexually active aren’t using condoms as regularly, if at all. And people ages 15 to 24 made up half of new chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis cases in 2022.
The downward trend in condom usage is due to a few things: medical advancements like long-term birth control options and drugs that prevent sexually transmitted infections; a fading fear of contracting HIV; and widely varying degrees of sex education in high schools.
Is this the end of condoms? Not exactly. But it does have some public health experts thinking about how to help younger generations have safe sex, be aware of their options—condoms included—and get tested for STIs regularly.
“Old condom ads were meant to scare you, and all of us were scared for the longest time,” said Dr. Joseph Cherabie, medical director of the St. Louis HIV Prevention Training Center. “Now we’re trying to move away from that and focus more on what works for you.”
A shift in attitudes
Downtown Oxford was thrumming the day before the first football game of the season. The fall semester had just started.
Lines of college students with tequila-soda breath waited to be let in dim bars with loud music. Hands wandered, drifting into back pockets of jeans, and they leaned on one another.
It’s likely that many of those students didn’t use a condom, said Magan Perry, president of the college’s Public Health Student Association.
“Using a condom is just a big, ‘uh, no,’” the senior said.
Young women often have to initiate using condoms with men, she said, adding that she’s heard of men who tell a sexual partner they’ll just buy emergency contraception the next day instead.
“I’ve had friends who go home with a guy and say they’re not having sex unless they use a condom, and immediately the reaction is either a reluctant, ‘OK, fine,’ or ‘If you don’t trust me, then I shouldn’t even be here,’” Perry said. “They’re like, ‘Well, I’m not dirty, so why would I use them?’”
Women have long had the onus of preventing pregnancy or STIs, Cherabie said, and buying condoms or emergency contraceptives—which are often in a locked cabinet or behind a counter—can be an uncomfortable experience and “inserts a certain amount of shame,” Cherabie said.
If pregnancy risk has been the driving factor for condom usage among heterosexual couples, the fear of contracting HIV was the motivation for condom use among men who have sex with men.
But as that fear has subsided, so has condom use, according to a recent study that focused on a population of HIV-negative men who have sex with men.
Grindr, a popular gay dating app, even lists condom use under “kinks” instead of “health.” Things like that make Steven Goodreau, an HIV expert at the University of Washington who led the study, worry that the change in attitudes toward condoms is trickling down to younger generations.
Goodreau believes the promotion of pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP), a drug that prevents HIV, is overshadowing condoms as a prevention strategy. A strategic plan for federal HIV research through 2025 doesn’t mention condoms, and neither does the national Ending the HIV Epidemic plan.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention acknowledges that condoms are still an effective tool that can be used “alongside newer prevention strategies.”
“We know that condom use has declined among some groups, but they still have an important role to play in STI prevention,” said Dr. Bradley Stoner, director of the CDC’s Division of STD Prevention.
“Condoms can be accessed without navigating the health care system, can be used on-demand, are generally affordable and most importantly, they are effective at preventing HIV and STIs when used consistently and correctly.”
Medical advances allow for more options
Pleasure—for both men and women—has long been an undeniable factor for the lack of condom use, according to Dr. Cynthia Graham, a member of the Kinsey Institute team that studies condoms.
But more so, advances in medicine have expanded the options for both STI and pregnancy prevention.
Young cisgender women have been turning to contraceptive implants like intrauterine devices and birth control pills to keep from getting pregnant. And researchers say that once women are in committed relationships or have one sexual partner for a significant amount of time, they often switch to longer-term birth control methods.
Ole Miss junior Madeline Webb said she and her partner seem like outliers—they have been seeing each other for four years, but still use condoms. They also share the responsibility of buying condoms.
“People see condoms as an inconvenience … but they do serve a purpose even if you’re on birth control because there is always a chance of an STD,” Webb said.
A new drug on the market could mean even more STI prevention options for men and possibly women.
Doxycycline post-exposure prophylaxis, or doxy PEP, can be taken within 72 hours after unprotected sex and can help prevent chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis. It has to be prescribed by a doctor. Trials are still being conducted for women, but the drug is gaining traction among men who have sex with men and transgender women.
With widespread uptake, the drug has the potential to make a significant impact in STI prevention strategies.
“When PrEP came out, everyone was excited because it was one less thing to worry about in terms of HIV acquisition,” Cherabie said. “With another thing on board that can help decrease our likelihood of getting other STIs, on top of not having to worry about HIV, it gives our community and patients a little less anxiety about their sex lives.”
And in just a decade, PrEP has become a main preventive measure against HIV and other STIs for men who have sex with men—though it is disproportionately used by white men.
Condom use now is “pretty much a thing of the past” for men who have sex with men compared to the 1980s and early 1990s during the AIDS epidemic, said Andres Acosta Ardilla, a community outreach director at an Orlando-based nonprofit primary care clinic that focuses on Latinos with HIV.
“Part of what we have to talk about is that there is something enticing about having condomless sex,” Acosta Ardilla said. “And we have to, as people who are working in public health, plan for the fact that people will choose to have condomless sex.”
The fight over sex ed
Despite the relentless Southern sun, a handful of people representing various student organizations sat at tables in the heart of Ole Miss’ campus. Students walked past and grabbed buttons, wristbands and fidget toys. One table offered gold-packaged condoms—for cups to prevent drinks from being spiked.
Actual condoms are noticeably absent. They’re also absent in the state’s public schools.
Condom demonstrations are banned in Mississippi classrooms, and school districts can provide abstinence-only or “abstinence-plus” sexual education—both of which can involve discussing condoms and contraceptives.
Focus on the Family, an Christian organization that advocates for teaching abstinence until marriage, is concerned that comprehensive sex education “exposes students to explicit materials.” Abstinence-centered education is “age-appropriate” and keeps students safe and healthy, Focus on the Family analyst Jeff Johnston said in an emailed statement.
But Josh McCawley, deputy director of Teen Health Mississippi, an organization that works with youth to increase access to health resources, said the effects are clear.
“The obvious consequence is the rise of sexually transmitted infections, which is what we’re seeing right now, which can be a burden on the health care system,” he said, “but also there could be long-term consequences for young people in terms of thinking about what it means to be healthy and how to protect themselves, and that goes beyond a person’s sexual health.”
The latest CDC data from 2022 shows Mississippi has the highest teen birth rate in the country.
Scott Clements, who oversees health information for the state education department, was hesitant to criticize Mississippi’s sex education standards because they’re “legislatively mandated.”
“If the legislature wants to make changes to this, we will certainly follow their lead,” he added—though attempts to pass more advanced sexual education standards have died repeatedly in the Mississippi statehouse over the past eight years.
Nationally, there is no set standard for sex education, according to Michelle Slaybaugh, policy and advocacy director for the Sexuality Information and Education Council for the United States, which advocates for comprehensive sex ed.
Not every state mandates sex education. Some states emphasize abstinence. Less than half of states require information on contraception.
“There is no definitive way to describe what sex ed looks like from classroom to classroom, even in the same state, even in the same district,” Slaybaugh said, “because it will really be determined by who teaches it.”
Compare Mississippi to Oregon, which has extensive state standards that require all public school districts to teach medically accurate and comprehensive sexual education. Students in Portland are shown how to put on a condom starting in middle school and have access to free condoms at most high schools.
Lori Kuykendall of Dallas, who helped write abstinence-focused standards, said condom demonstrations like those in Portland “normalize sexual activity in a classroom full of young people who the majority of are not sexually active.” She also points to increasingly easy access to pornography — in which people typically do not wear condoms—is a contributing factor to the decline in condom use among young people.
Jenny Withycombe, the assistant director for health and physical education at Portland Public Schools, acknowledged the standards see pushback in the more conservative and rural parts of Oregon. But the idea is to prepare students for future interactions.
“Our job is to hopefully build the skills so that even if it’s been a while since the (condom) demo … the person has the skills to go seek out that information, whether it’s from the health center or other reliable and reputable resources,” Withycombe said.
Those standards seem to contribute to a more progressive view of condoms and sex in young adults, said Gavin Leonard, a senior at Reed College in Portland and a former peer advocate for the school’s sexual health and relationship program.
Leonard, who grew up in Memphis—not far from Oxford, Mississippi, said his peers at Reed may not consistently use condoms, but, in his experience, better understand the consequences of not doing so. They know their options, and they know how to access them.
Slaybaugh wants that level of education for Mississippi students—and the rest of the country.
“We would never send a soldier into war without training or the resources they need to keep themselves safe,” she said. “We would not send them into a battle without a helmet or a bulletproof vest. So why is it OK for us to send young people off to college without the information that they need to protect themselves?”
— 9 ways to elevate your next make out sesh to the next stage
Tongue tantalising tips and tricks
By Ebony Leigh
Unless you’ve been off Netflix for the past week, you’ll know that all the entire world can think about right now is arguably the greatest onscreen kiss of all time. With off-the-charts romantic tension and an electrifying chemistry, we’d say it’s impossible not to be swept away by the scene to end all scenes in Nobody Wants This. So how’d they do it?
When Adam Brody’s Noah took the face of Kristin Bell’s Joanne in his left hand, ran his thumb gently along her cheek while gazing deeply into her eyes before slowly moving in for a full mouthed, life altering kiss, you could almost hear the collective gasp from around the globe.
Viewers were left reeling with an all-consuming yearning for their own monumental moment, and if they weren’t a fan of Netflix’s newest romantic comedy series already, then this profound PDA sealed the deal. In the words of one YouTuber, “it made my heart flutter as if it were me”.
So, when it comes to your own lip-locking action, what makes a kiss great, and how can you take your make out moves to the next level?
The power of a kiss
If the effects of a smooch can be felt through our screens, you better believe that an IRL snog can have massive impacts on our bodies.
“In terms of a relationship, you’ve got the pair bonding, passion and deep connection that comes through the release of oxytocin, as well as the connection to your erogenous zones because your lips are an erogenous zone meaning they can create that arousal as well,” certified sex educator Eleanor Hadley tells Body+Soul.
Of course though it all depends on the style of the smacker, and how much you let it “build”.
“You’ve got plutonic sort of kisses, like a cheek kiss or a hello kiss, you’ve got the really intimate, soft and sweet forehead kiss that just makes you melt, and you’ve got the classic peck on the lips,” the sexpert explains. “And then there’s taking it deeper with a long lingering kiss.”
“And then of course, you can start to get a bit more deeper and passionate with the French kiss, introducing tongues and maybe sucking, nibbling or biting on the lips. Some people like the full blown tongue in mouth, full on pash, and then of course you can take a kiss elsewhere on the body like the neck and collarbones.”
Tongue tantalising tips and tricks
As the creator of Tongue Tactics – a guide for going down – Hadley knows the art of pleasurable mouth movement. Here she shares her tips and tricks for how to heat up your make out sessions and improve your kissing technique.
#1. Ask your partner about what they like
First up, the intimacy coach says it’s less about how you’re doing it and more about the connection between you and your partner. And it all comes down to communication.
“So often clients will tell me, ‘I dated this person and they were a bad kisser’, but for someone else that person’s kissing style is amazing and they love it,” Hadley explains. “While maybe for someone that my client dated in the past, maybe their kissing style wasn’t their cup of tea either.”
Like everything else in life, we need to understand where someone else is coming from.
“I’m such a big advocate of actually having a conversation with your partner like, ‘How do you like to be kissed? Do you like tongue? Do you like it when I nibble at your lips or do you hate it? How do you feel about biting? And what kind of movements and pace do you like? Do you like it gentle and sensual or do you like it rough and deep? Do you want a full open mouth kiss every single time, or do you just like a more closed focus on the lips? Because I really like it when you stick your whole tongue in my mouth. It’s really hot. Could you do that more?’.”
Think it sounds daunting? Maybe. But the results? Breathtaking (literally if you both act on the answers).
“I think conversations like this can be really helpful in understanding each other better and it can actually be really fun and cute and hot and sexy to talk about it” says Hadley. “It doesn’t have to be weird and awkward because it’s more like this curiosity of, ‘How could we make this part of our relationship even better’.”
#2. Freshen up before going in
Before getting to a smooch, a good kisser always considers their mouth hygiene.
“So there’s basic dental care – we love a good floss, mouthwash and toothbrush session – and obviously we’re doing that on the daily,” the sex educator says. “And then if you’re about to make out or you’re on your way to a date or if you’re about to finish your date and you know where it’s going, a little freshen up is great. I love those little mouth strips because they’re super handy or even just a mint.”
#3. Take care of your lips
Lip care is imperative, says Hadley. “I definitely use a lip scrub if I’m about to go and get my make out on”.
She recommends buying a product or making your own using sugar and oil, or just grabbing a dry toothbrush. “Rubbing that along your lips and doing little circles will buff away any dry skin,” she explains. “That also kind of brings blood flow, so your lips are going to be a little bit more popped as well which is really nice.”
Then when it comes to game time, Hadley suggests a light lip balm. Or, if it tickles your fancy, a bold lip. “If it’s a vibe and your partner is into it and you’re into it too, lipstick can add to it if you like that messy look,” she says. “Of course, it’s a really personal preference, but I think some people dig it.”
#4. Linger on the lead up
We can’t stress this enough but Nobody Wants This totally did when it took two episodes for the main characters to finally kiss. A long lead up makes the snog even better.
“My philosophy with this is always work from the outside in,” the sex educator explains. “So even before you’re making out, make sure you’ve had eye contact and conversation and build up that connection and chemistry.”
So pay attention, show affection, and stay in the moment, to leave your kissing partner with a lasting memory.
#5. Experiment with the head tilt
Ah the age old conundrum. To go right or left.
“I think you’re going to have a natural way that you want to go, and for me, that just feels like right,” the sexpert explains. “And if you’re in a relationship, you can have a tendency to say, ‘That’s just the way that I go’, and then that can kind of be the pattern. But be open to trying a different way and see how that feels.”
(For the record, Adam Broody went right).
#6. Use your hands
If The OC’s geek Seth Cohen turned millennial woman heart throb Noah has taught us anything, it’s that a truly good kiss involves some steamy body language and the exact right hand placement.
“Depending on the type of kiss you’re having, whether it’s deep and passionate or soft and sweet, hand placement is incredibly important and can really elevate the mood and drive the vibe of the kiss,” Hadley says. “So whether that’s just hands cupping their face if it’s really sweet, or bringing your hands up through their hair and to the back of the neck and then pulling and tugging their hair a little bit. Or maybe you’re dragging your hands a little over their arms, kind of pulling them in tight from their back, or grabbing their a** and having your hands lead up their chest. It can all really enhance the passion of the kiss.”
#7. Have fun with tongue
Kissing isn’t just about locking lips and having a gentle nibble. Whether it’s playing with the tip of the tongue or putting it all in their mouth, if that feels good for both of you, French kissing can take your make out sessions to the next level.
“Being active with it but not too active with it hits a really nice, sweet spot where you’re almost kind of licking or massaging your tongue against theirs, as opposed to just sticking it in and letting it sit there or sharking it all about,” recommends the sex coach.
“And then you can both build up a rhythm where you’re like massaging each other’s tongues or sort of licking each other’s tongues. It sounds so strange, but it’s kind of like that.”
#8. Go slow and build up the passion
“I think it’s nice to start soft and get slowly more passionate as it builds up,” Hadley says. “Like with sex, you don’t tend to just go straight for the goods. You tend to build up to it.”
Which can be amazing when it comes to kissing. “So you start to both get into a rhythm and feel more and more turned on and there’s blood flow going on and your erogenous zones are firing and you start to get handsy and then the kiss can get more and more passionate and then it kind of leads from there,” the sex coach explains.
“Of course, having said that though, if it’s in the moment and it feels really good and there’s some really electric chemistry there, a deep, passionate kiss can be amazing.”
#9. Don’t rush into sex
There’s definitely something to be said for not rushing into putting hands down pants and keeping things above the belt. At least for the moment.
“If kissing is going towards sex or some kind of genital pleasure, then absolutely take your time,” Hadley says. “There’s no rush. You don’t need to get it over and done with.”
Yes, maybe you’re turned on and horny and wet or hard, but you don’t have to act on that immediately. Let those feelings build.
“Don’t forget about the face or the neck, the arms, the lower back, and the whole body before the genitals,” the sexpert says. “We’ve got to take the time to get there, rather than just be like, ‘Oh, we’re making out and suddenly I’m fingering you’. It’s like, woah, chill down, and put some space in between.”
Your pride, your power: The essential LGBTQ voter guide for 2024 Navigate the complex landscape of LGBTQ politics with Reckon’s roadmap to what’s really at stake for queer and trans Americans in this election.
Navigate the complex landscape of LGBTQ politics with Reckon’s roadmap to what’s really at stake for queer and trans Americans in this election.
In recent years, we have seen the rights of LGBTQ Americans nationwide used as political pawns. During the presidential election year in 2020, anti-trans legislation reached an all-time high with 118 anti-trans bills. In 2024, the number of bills introduced has skyrocketed more than five-fold, with 658 bills aiming to restrict bodily autonomy, healthcare access, sports participation, and attempts to erase the public existence of the LGBTQ community. Trans youth are the primary target.
Simultaneously, persistent misinformation about gender-affirming care from anti-trans conservatives has emboldened hostile rhetoric surrounding the community. As a result, 45 anti-trans bills across the country have passed into law, affecting 16 states. As we approach the 2024 election, the fight for LGBTQ liberation remains crucial—perhaps more urgent than ever before.
Why does it matter? What’s at stake?
As a direct result of rising anti-trans rhetoric, major cities have seen a record high in hate crimes, according to the 2023 “Report to the Nation” by Brian Levin, who found that three of the five demographics experiencing increased hate violence were from the LGBTQ community. This underscores the widespread impact of anti-LGBTQ sentiment, affecting all communities regardless of political affiliation.
Although trans youth are targeted in legislation, this year alone has seen violent incidents that resulted in trans and nonbinary teens dying, including Nex Benedict from Oklahoma and Pauly A. Likens from Pennsylvania. Additionally, mental health issues for young LGBTQ people continue to worsen as anti-LGBTQ laws increase. Voting in favor of pro-LGBTQ policies and ensuring pro-LGBTQ politicians win their seats then can mitigate the rampant attack on trans youth, and potentially proactively turn the tides for the better.
Current status
The numerous anti-trans bills and laws across various states have caught the attention of many in the community. In anticipation of the 2024 election, the Supreme Court has agreed to hear a case brought on by the ACLU, challenging Tennessee’s Senate Bill 1, enacted in July 2023 under Gov. Bill Lee. This law bans gender-affirming care for trans minors in Tennessee. Government officials defending the law argue that gender-affirming care is not only harmful and unnecessary, but also that trans people are not protected under the Constitution.
This case is significant because how the Court interprets transgender rights under the Constitution can set a major precedent for LGBTQ protections moving forward.
Where do the presidential candidates stand on this issue?
Democratic Party:
Kamala Harris: Harris, who currently serves as Vice President, supported gay marriage over a decade before it was federally legalized. She also helped her home state of California become the first state to ban the “gay and trans panic” defense law in 2014, and introduced a bill to prohibit the practice at the national level. Her policies on sex work and incarceration as attorney general have been criticized by the trans community, particularly an instance when she was against allowing incarcerated trans people to transition.
As Vice President, she has shown increased support for LGBTQ rights, hosting Pride events at the White House. Her running mate Tim Walz, governor of Minnesota, shows a history of pro-LGBTQ advocacy spanning over two decades.
Republican Party:
Donald J. Trump: As the 45th president, Trump initiated a concerted effort to remove protections for LGBTQ people. In 2018, his administration attempted to define “sex” in federal civil rights laws to eliminate non-discrimination protections for trans people. Trump sought to “define ‘transgender’ out of existence,” erode protections for transgender students and workers, and weaken access to gender-affirming health care—which we now see as a prominent debate topic amongst nominees.
In his current campaign, Trump has announced plans to severely restrict queer, trans and nonbinary rights if he wins a second term. His plan “Agenda 47” aligns closely to anti-trans bills becoming law this year. His running mate J.D. Vance has actively spread misinformation about gender-affirming care.
Independent, Green, Libertarian or Third-Party:
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (Independent):Kennedy Jr. suspended his campaign and endorsed Trump on Aug. 23.
Kennedy lacks concrete opinions regarding trans rights—at least not the ones that are often debated over. He faced criticism early on for accepting an invitation to speak at a summit hosted by Moms for Liberty—an anti-trans extremist group, according to civil rights watchdogs, rallying school curricula, sports participation and bathroom usage. Kennedy backed out of the event, while reaffirming his support for gay marriage.
He has also been wary of supporting hormone replacement therapies (HRT) for trans youth, questioning its practices and long term effects. Comparing it to driving, voting, joining the army, even getting a tattoo, Kennedy is hesitant to support underage access to gender-affirming care “because we know that children do not fully understand the consequences of decisions with life-long ramifications,” he said on X. He has stressed the importance of showing the trans community support as they “shouldn’t ever be shamed.”
Cornel West (Independent): Known for longstanding racial justice activism, West has spent his career advocating for marginalized people to have equitable access to democratic institutions and social spaces. But his looming uncertainty over trans athletes’ participation in sports casts a shadow in understanding just how pro-LGBTQ he is. During Pres. Obama’s reelection campaign in 2012, West criticized Obama’s usage of gay marriage above other issues, though clarified his support for it two years later.
In an interview last year with Fox News, West expressed empathy for trans people and their vulnerability when asked about sports participation. The following month in an interview on “The Karen West Show,” West seemed to have backtracked, proposing a third gender category for trans athletes for “fairness.” Regarding bathroom usage, discrimination policies and anti-LGBTQ school curricula, West has no concrete proposed policies surrounding transgender rights.
Jill Stein (Green Party): Stein is known for protesting at coal plants and testifying before legislative bodies about environmental concerns. According to iSideWith, another voting guide system, voters of Stein would support gender-affirming care for minors under the condition that they are non-surgical—though she herself has not made any direct statements about her stance on trans healthcare.
It is worth nothing, however, that Stein has an up-to-date understanding of what is at stake for the trans, nonbinary and gender-nonconforming community given that this Trans Day of Visibility, she took it to X to express her awareness of the current climate, escalating political and physical violence surrounding trans issues. She mentioned having a “longstanding” record of affirming trans rights, and promises to implement federal protections for all LGBTQ people nationwide.
Chase Oliver (Libertarian): A former Democrat, Oliver is a 39-year-old gay candidate who is pro-gun, anti-cop, pro-choice. He self-describes himself as Georgia’s first LGBTQ candidate who is “armed and gay.” Oliver himself was the person behind his high school’s inaugural Gay Straight Alliance (GSA).
Assembly Constitutional Amendment (ACA) No. 5 (Proposition 3): Under Proposition 8, the California Constitution defines marriage as between a man and a woman in the state, which eliminates the rights of same-sex couples to marry.
A yes vote = removes the ban on same-sex marriage from the California Constitution and declares the right to marry as a fundamental right for all couples, regardless of gender.
A no vote = keeps the current language defining marriage as between a man and a woman in the state constitution and maintains a constitutional conflict with federal law, which recognizes same-sex marriage
COLORADO
SCR24-003: The Colorado constitution states that a marriage is valid only if it is between one man and one woman. That provision has been unenforceable since the U.S. Supreme Court decision in Obergefell v. Hodges in 2015. The Constitutional Same-Sex Marriage Ban Amendment repeals the provision in Colorado.
A yes vote = Removes the phrase “only a union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in this state” from the Colorado Constitution. Aligns the state constitution with current federal law and practice.
A no vote = Keeps the outdated, unenforceable language in the state constitution and maintains a symbolic barrier to marriage equality in Colorado.
HAWAII
House Bill 2802: The Hawaii Remove Legislature Authority to Limit Marriage to Opposite-Sex Couples Amendment proposes a constitutional amendment to repeal the Legislature’s authority to limit marriage to opposite-sex couples.
A yes vote = Removes the phrase “the legislature shall have the power to reserve marriage to opposite-sex couples,” from Hawaii’s constitution.
A no vote = Keeps the current recognition that a marriage under the constitution is limited to straight couples.
NEW YORK
Proposal 1: This proposal amends Article 1, Section 11 of the Equal Rights Amendment. Section 11 now protects against unequal treatment based on race, color, creed, and religion. Proposal 1 seeks protection against unequal treatment based on ethnicity, national origin, age, disability, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, pregnancy, and pregnancy outcomes, abortion, as well as reproductive healthcare and autonomy.
A yes vote = protection against unequal treatment based on ethnicity, national origin, age, disability, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, pregnancy, and pregnancy outcomes.
A no vote = keeps the lack of protections in instances of discrimination based on identity in the state.
SOUTH DAKOTA
Senate Joint Resolution 505: This amendment was designed to remove gender-specific language in the state constitution and replace it with gender-neutral language. Specifically, the measure was designed to replace male pronouns with gender-neutral terms or the titles of offices referenced.
A yes vote = amending the text of the South Dakota Constitution to change male pronouns to gender-neutral terms or titles.
A no vote = keeps the state constitution pronouns to only “he/him,” when referring to the state constituents.
Josh Polacheck (Democrat) for Arizona Corporation Commissioner.
MICHIGAN
Kyle Wright is running for a House seat in one of the most competitive districts in the state, against James DeSana, a MAGA extremist with strong anti-trans stances. Wright would be the youngest state representative in Michigan.
NEVADA
In order to maintain a pro-equality supermajority in the Nevada Assembly, all eyes are on Assembly District 4 where gay candidate Ryan Hampton is working tirelessly to flip this open seat.
Lisa Grafstein is the sole LGBTQ voice in the State Senate and in a newly drawn 50/50 seat. With the gubernatorial election likely favoring the Democratic Party, ensuring there is not a GOP supermajority would be key to preventing further anti-LGBTQ legislation.
PENNSYLVANIA
Notable statewide candidate:
Malcolm Kenyatta (Democrat) for Pennsylvania State Auditor. Kenyatta would be the first out LGBTQ+ statewide official in Pennsylvania.
WISCONSIN
Wisconsin State Assembly: Wisconsin might elect its largest-ever bloc of LGBTQ State Assembly members, who will be a crucial part of the state’s legislative branch in charge of making and passing laws.
Ryan Spaude is running in what is likely the most competitive district in Wisconsin, with the Democratic party leading by one point in the Partisan Voting Index (PVI), according to the LGBTQ+ Victory Fund.
Kristin Alfheim’s Senator campaign is a crucial win that Democrats need in order for control of the state Senate. She is facing an opponent in the general election who has strong anti-LGBTQ stances.
Notable statewide candidate:
Tammy Baldwin (Democrat) for Wisconsin U.S. Senator. Baldwin made history in 2012 as the first out LGBTQ member elected to the U.S. Senate, and was re-elected for her second term in 2018.
Key Points for Voters
What to Consider When Voting
Representation matters to an extent: LGBTQ representation matters, but it’s not everything. Research candidates thoroughly, regardless of their identity. Focus on track records, policies and visions that align with LGBTQ rights and your values.
Prioritize intersectionality: Consider how LGBTQ issues intersect with other social justice movements. Look for candidates who understand and advocate for reproductive rights, immigrants’ rights, racial equality, economic equity, environmental protection. Support candidates who recognize the interconnectedness of identity and systemic issues.
Keep your politicians accountable: Voting is just the beginning of political engagement. After elections, monitor your representatives’ actions and votes, communicate regularly with their offices, and collaborate with advocacy groups to ensure promises are kept. Remember: Your role as a constituent continues beyond Election Day.
Engage in local activism: Don’t wait for national elections to make a difference. You can create change in your community by joining or starting local LGBTQ organizations, attending city council meetings, volunteering for local causes and organizing community events to raise awareness. Stay informed and educate others and challenge misinformation about LGBTQ issues when you encounter it.
Resources and Further Reading
Where to Learn More
Equality PAC: The political arm of the Congressional Equality Caucus, Equality PAC is dedicated to the full legal and societal equality for LGBTQ Americans where all funds raised are spent supporting and electing openly LGBTQ individuals and strong LGBTQ allies to the United States Congress who are committed to full civil rights and protections for all LGBTQ Americans.
Gender Liberation Movement March: Washington, D.C. march, protest and festival for gender-affirming care, abortions rights and democracy on Sept. 14
LGBTQ+ Rights Voter Guide on Who to Vote For: Keep tabs of which LGBTQ or LGBTQ-ally candidates are running in your state for some of the crucial seats in this upcoming election, and what and who they are up against.
LGBTQ+ Victory Fund: The only national organization devoted to electing pro-equality, pro-choice LGBTQ+ leaders to public office at every level—from local school boards, to city council, and even a seat in Congress.
“Plugged In”:WABE, the NPR and PBS affiliate for the Metro Atlanta Area, their podcast “Plugged In” explores LGBTQ life in Georgia, wherein this episode dives into what is at stake for queer, trans and nonbinary Georgians, and how LGBTQ voters could shape the upcoming presidential election.
ACLU Tennessee: “U.S. Supreme Court Will Hear Challenge from United States, Families, and Doctors Against Transgender Health Care Ban”
GLAAD: “GLAAD’s Voter Poll Indicates Anti-Trans Campaigning is Failing.” 94% of LGBTQ Americans Are Motivated To Vote; 72% Report Negative Impact of Political Discourse on Mental Health and Emotional Well-Being
The actor Gillian Anderson has just released a book of sexual fantasies. Titled Want, it catalogues a diverse range of fantasies submitted anonymously by women from around the world, writes Dr Jade Elliott, senior lecturer in psychology at Liverpool John Moores University et al.
It is not the first to do so. In 1973, American author Nancy Friday published My Secret Garden, a volume that provoked fierce debate at the time and is now considered to be an important milestone in the sex-positive movement. Each book gives a fascinating snapshot of women’s relationships with their own sexuality at a different moment in history.
Though attitudes, vocabulary and specific fantasy content have undoubtedly changed in the intervening half-century, there are striking similarities between the books. This is not only true of the subject matter — workplace flings and group sex are apparently timelessly appealing — but also of how people feel about their fantasies. Shame, in particular, continues to loom large in many women’s feelings about their own erotic imaginings.
Past research indicates that most adults (of all genders) experience sexual fantasies, suggesting many of us have grappled with the question of whether to tell a partner about ours. Over the past four years, we have been conducting research that explores this question: how do people decide whether to disclose their sexual fantasies – and what happens when they do?
An act of closeness
The women featured in both My Secret Garden and Want vary considerably in the degree to which they have chosen to share their fantasies with a partner. Some describe passionate relationships enhanced by the disclosure and enactment of erotic fantasies, while others intend to take their favourite fantasy to the grave.
We were interested in understanding the psychology of such radically different approaches. In a study published earlier this year in The Journal of Sex Research, we asked 287 people to reflect on a recent or prominent sexual fantasy. We found that over 69% of participants had previously disclosed their fantasy to a partner. Of those, more than 80% found this to be a positive experience.
Unsurprisingly, participants commonly cited sexual desire as their main reason for opening up. For example, many said they had shared their fantasy with a partner in the hope that they could act it out together. Others reported that they found talking about sexual fantasies arousing, or that discussing secret desires allowed them to learn more about their partner.
Several participants explained that they valued honesty and openness and that the level of trust and commitment in their relationship made them feel safe to share their fantasy with their partner.
Not all reasons for disclosing fantasies were positive, however. Some said they disclosed their fantasy in a last-ditch attempt to spice up an unsatisfying sex life.
The power of shame
Among the group who had chosen not to share their fantasy, many cited its content as the primary reason. Consistent with accounts in both My Secret Garden and Want, several of our participants were ashamed of their fantasy, or felt it to be too extreme or taboo to share with their partner.
Some — especially those whose partners had not responded well to similar conversations in the past — were worried they would receive a negative response that could cause problems for their relationship. We also heard from several people who explained that, put simply, their fantasies were private joys that they had no desire or intention to discuss with anyone.
In a series of follow-up studies yet to be published, we explored some of these ideas in more depth. One important finding is that relationship traits are a key predictor of whether a person will disclose their fantasy. For example, disclosure was more likely in relationships that already involved large amounts of sexual novelty and exploration.
We also confirmed that the content of a fantasy is critical to a person’s decision about whether to share it. Anything that is likely to be considered unacceptable by a partner or is otherwise potentially threatening to the relationship (such as a move away from monogamy), is unlikely to be disclosed. Indeed, even among participants who had previously shared a fantasy, we found over half also had at least one more that they were unwilling to divulge.
While our findings suggest that people who choose to tell their partner about their erotic daydreams usually get a good response, we also found that the process by which people reach that decision can be complicated. Some people have very good reasons for keeping their fantasy to themselves.
Hopefully, Want will help to reduce some of the shame associated with the very common experience of fantasising about sex. But its similarities to a book published 50 years earlier suggest we may still have a long way to go.
In an exclusive excerpt from the new collection edited by Alice Wong, she explores what she learned along the way
By Lizz Schumer
If you find yourself humming “Let’s Talk About Sex” when you see the cover for Alice Wong’s new collection, well, there’s at least two of us. The much-anticipated new book, Disability Intimacy: Essays on Love, Care, and Desire edited by Alice Wong is out April 30 and features essays, poetry and artwork of various spice levels by members of the disability community. There’s disabled sex, disabled love, disabled sexual exploration and yes, full-on disabled erotica.
All of it seeks to explore the question: What is intimacy? It’s not just sex, but it can include it. It’s not just romantic love, but it can feature it. As the publisher explains, “Explorations of caregiving, community, access and friendship offer us alternative ways of thinking about the connections we form with others.”
Below, Wong lets us in on a little bit of how she began thinking about it in a PEOPLE-exclusive excerpt from the collection, as well as a revelation she’s never made in her own writing before.
Disability Intimacy.
When I started working on this book, I googled “disability intimacy” and the search results were disappointing and pathetic. “Ewwwwww,” I muttered to myself. Under the People Also Ask section, questions such as “Can people with disabilities find love?” are what I considered basic AF. Articles on stereotypes, stigmas, sexuality, asexuality, sexual abuse and sexual dysfunction abounded.
Stories about and by disabled people on “what it’s like” to date, have sex, or be in a relationship abounded. Intimacy is more than sex or romantic love. Intimacy is an ever-expanding universe composed of a myriad of heavenly bodies. Intimacy is about relationships within a person’s self, with others, with communities, with nature and beyond.
Each piece in this anthology is unique, but one theme that runs throughout is tenderness, an expression of all the labor and care the contributors put into their stories. I delicately gathered and edited this book with sensitivity, knowing how many people put their trust in me. Being thoughtful, intentional and generous are acts of intimacy we can give to one another.
I am not an expert on intimacy, nor am I here to define the concept to you. Since tenderness is a major theme in Disability Intimacy, it is only right for me to share a vulnerable part of myself that I have never written about or publicly discussed before.
True story: I have never been in a romantic relationship or gone on a date. Not once, and I am a 50-year-old grown-a– woman! The disclosure comes with a mixture of internalized shame and a wish to keep parts of my life private. However, this book prompted me to reflect on the many intimacies of my life and what I wish for the future. My heart is full of rich and deep relationships. I am loved and I am not loved at the same time.
Not everyone needs romance or sex, but I personally want the entire dim sum cart of intimacy. I want to experience every unctuous, savory, sweet, crispy, chewy, spicy and sour bite, filling my body with warmth and pleasure. My appetite is insatiable; I want the smoldering, undeniable attraction built on mutual respect and admiration like the one between Captain Wentworth and Anne Elliot in Jane Austen’s Persuasion. I want to be seen and to have a lover who will be my sous chef in all things and vice versa.
Our love will be a spark that burns slowly and completely. This person will write me hot, irresistible letters and make me laugh; will pick up ice cream for me; will buy groceries, binge-watch TV and host amazing dinner parties with me. Downright filthy texts and facial expressions will be our sexual banter. We will be our own two-member book club where we talk passionately about books while sipping champagne and eating fancy potato chips. When I meet that person, I will disarm him with my charm, wit, intellect and copious modesty.
Given the events of the past few years, I question whether this will ever happen for me and am reconciled to this reality. I struggle to see myself as desirable and can only imagine how the world perceives me. I’m not waiting for someone to sweep me off my feet, but I am ready in a nanosecond. In the meantime, I will continue to fantasize, lust, all by myself. My dreams, cravings and aspirations will sustain my body and soul for now.
Intimacy comes in many forms, and you are deserving of it, whatever it looks like or means to you. Reading the words on these pages creates a dialogue, an intimate act bringing us together across space and time. May Disability Intimacy set your spirit on fire and send you on a voyage of self-discovery, destination unknown. My journey continues, and I thank you for being a part of it.
I am but one small shiitake mushroom connected to a vast mycelial network with other disabled fungi, loving and caring for one another. We are not alone.
— The history of discrimination and persecution against the LGBTQ+ community led many people to seek safe meeting spaces
A march for LGBTQ+ rights in New York City in 1994, commemorating the 25th anniversary of the Stonewall riots.
By Álex Maroño Porto
Nico is a 30-year-old American who moved to Pamplona, in the north of Spain, to study. During his interview with EL PAÍS, he prefers that his real name not be revealed. For Nico, sex and romantic love don’t necessarily go hand-in-hand. After coming out in 2019, he gradually adopted a prosexual vision that largely involves relationships between queer men — those whose gender identities or sexual orientation differ from the norm.
“Sex isn’t just what we’ve been protecting for centuries through religious and cultural norms, as something meant only for procreation,” he explains over the phone. “Sex isn’t something that should be set aside when we talk about queerness: it’s something central to us.”
Heterosexual culture has been marked by monogamy as almost the only acceptable relationship model. But LGBTQ+ peoples have had more freedom when it comes to exploring their emotional bonds. For queer men, sex has been able to serve as a catalyst for community formation. It’s a practice that — due to its visibility and its break with the established order — has been the object of intense social persecution, even today. In the United States, for example, four states prohibited sexual relations between people of the same sex until 2003, under the so-called “sodomy laws.” And, just two years ago, Iran publicly executed two men for engaging in a sexual relationship with each other.
Among queer men, the meaning of sex goes beyond the time spent with another person — or other people — in a bed. Or in the bathrooms of a nightclub. Or even outdoors. The importance of sex for the community has a clear historical trajectory. One of the reasons was the repression of homosexuality, says Gabriel J. Martín, a psychologist and author of several books on LGBTQ+ topics. When queer spaces didn’t exist due to institutional criminalization, sex with strangers became a safe way to satisfy desire.
“It was preferable that these were anonymous encounters, because — as it was prohibited — if the other person was arrested, at no time could they give you up [to the authorities], because they didn’t know who you were,” Martín writes to EL PAÍS via WhatsApp.
In the 1970s, with the emergence of the Gay Liberation Movement, sex laid the foundation for the nascent queer community. Men began to build what would become a social movement forged, in part, through sexual relations.
Philip Hammack is a professor of psychology at the University of California. During a phone conversation with EL PAÍS, he explains that the growing number of queer spaces — especially after the Stonewall riots in 1969, in the Greenwich Village neighborhood of New York City — was essential. “All that furtive sex that happened in bathrooms and in hidden spaces could be integrated into real institutions: gay bars, saunas and sex clubs,” Hammack notes. He’s the co-editor of The Story of Sexual Identity: Narrative Perspectives on the Gay and Lesbian Life Course (2009).
The HIV epidemic put an end to these prosexual attitudes. While the importance of sex between queer men never disappeared, the social openness of the 1970s was replaced by the rejection of the prosexual vision that characterized that era. “Sex became linked to disease,” says Michael Bronski, a professor at Harvard University and author of A Queer History of the United States (2011). “We spent years trying to figure out how to avoid that and how to separate it completely in our imagination.”
Hammock recalls how, in the 15 years from the first cases in 1981 to the approval of antiretroviral treatments, a positive diagnosis meant — in large part — a condemnation. Although condoms and non-penetrative sex greatly reduced the chances of infection, moralistic discourse prevailed: sex and promiscuity took on a sordid meaning. You could try to be gay, but only within the margins of heteronormative respectability.
Pre-exposure prophylaxis — known as PrEP — changed everything. The World Health Organization began recommending its use in mid-2014. This treatment, adopted in countries such as the United States and Spain in recent years, prevents HIV infection by 99%. This success has brought non-normative sexual relations back to the center of the LGBTQ+ conversation. Thanks to this extra barrier of protection, queer men “can finally fulfill their desires free from the anxiety of possible death,” Hammack concludes. Sex has recovered its historical place as a relational tool, causing a cultural revolution that has socially legitimized sexual practices beyond the traditional relational model of monogamy.
Two members of the Gay Liberation Movement in New York in 1970.
Excluded from the institution of marriage until recently, LGBTQ+ people have explored sexual relationships more freely than their straight counterparts. This is especially the case with women, Bronski says. And these non-monogamous ways of relating are more present in mainstream conversation than ever before. A 2021 study by Chapman University and the Kinsey Institute found that people who identify as gay or bisexual have practiced consensual non-monogamy more frequently than heterosexuals.
According to Christopher Stults, a professor at Baruch College, open relationships are, in some cases, the metropolitan queer standard… at least in large American cities. Eric Anderson, a professor at the University of Winchester and author of The Monogamy Gap (2011), believes that the monogamous ideal still marks LGBTQ+ relationships, although it’s an unsustainable utopia in the long term. “Men have more sexual desire than women; they always want more sexual partners,” he explains over the phone. In a two-man couple, he emphasizes, time leads to non-monogamous patterns, even if “they never acknowledge that they’re in an open relationship because of the stigma.”
In any case, relationships between gay men don’t seem to be marked by the search for sex with others. According to a study published in 2018 in the scientific journal Archives of Sexual Behavior, 45.3% of queer men who were in a relationship were in a monogamous relationship. Tyrel Starks, a professor of psychology at Hunter College and co-author of the study, says that replacing the monogamous sexual standard with a single alternative reduces the diversity of relational patterns among queer men.
“If we declare that monogamy belongs to heterosexuals, in a way, we’re accepting a rather homophobic narrative,” he tells EL PAÍS over the phone. For some queer men, the importance of sex lies in forging community with others or satisfying a sexual appetite, while for others, it’s a way to be intimate with a single partner. Any “rigid normative structure” regarding queer sex “is potentially problematic.”
The sexual openness that characterizes queer men implies accepting diversity in the multiple meanings of sex… so long as one’s own terms are clear. “We will continue to explore the possibilities that feelings and sexual desire offer us,” Martín adds. “We’re the advance guard; whatever is happening with [LGBTQ+ people] right now in relation to sexuality will happen with the heterosexual population in two decades.”
— Access to safe abortion care has a real impact on people’s lives and health, from preventing unsafe abortions and complications to upholding bodily autonomy.
A patient speaks with a midwife at Chingussura health center in Beira, where MSF connects hard-to-reach communities with safe abortion care and other sexual and reproductive health services.
At Doctors Without Borders/Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF), we consider safe abortion care a critical part of our sexual and reproductive health care services—one that can save lives and support the well-being of our patients.
Our teams around the world work in countries with varying laws and cultural views on abortion. Every day, MSF staff see firsthand how access to safe abortion care has a real impact on people’s lives and health. Anyone who seeks an abortion—no matter their reason—is deserving of high-quality and dignified care. When patients can access safe abortion care in their communities, the risk of complications related to unsafely induced abortion significantly decreases. There are instances in which safe abortion care is medically necessary to preserve an individual’s health and well-being, or even save their life. As health providers, MSF is committed to upholding medical ethics and person-centered care, which includes access to safe abortion.
1. Abortion is a common health procedure worldwide
More than half of all unintended pregnancies in the world end in abortion, whether spontaneously (referred to as miscarriage) or as the result of a deliberate intervention. People all over the world seek abortions when they do not wish to be pregnant. Chances are, someone close to you has had an abortion.
73 million induced abortions occur around the world each year
45 percent of abortions worldwide are unsafe, the vast majority in low- and middle-income countries
Abortion is common: 6 in 10 unintended pregnancies end in abortion, and 3 in 10 out of all pregnancies
MSF provided 54,500 consultations for safe abortion care around the world in 2023
Policy restrictions, health inequities, stigma, and misperceptions can inhibit access to safe abortion care
Unsafe abortion is a significant contributor to maternal mortality worldwide, causing an estimated 22,800 – 31,000 deaths each year
Safe abortion care
An abortion is considered safe if the person providing or supporting the abortion is trained and an evidence-based method that is appropriate to the pregnancy duration is used. MSF’s medical projects provide abortion in alignment with these criteria. In general, MSF personnel use medication abortion or manual vacuum aspiration (MVA) to provide care. These methods are extremely safe and effective in ending a pregnancy. In fact, abortion is safer than many common health services, including a shot of penicillin and tooth extraction.
MSF also supports self-managed abortion. This refers to a method in which an individual takes abortion medications outside of a medical setting. Self-managed abortion is just as safe and effective as a facility-based approach if the person has access to accurate information, quality medications, and respectful support throughout the process, if desired. It also increases access to safe abortion care for marginalized and underrepresented people, and those who live far away from health care facilities. Self-care interventions like self-managed abortion uphold patient’s bodily autonomy and support them to make decisions about and take the lead in their own care.
For more information on the methods utilized by MSF to provide safe abortion care, you can visit our medical guidelines: medicalguidelines.msf.org.
A safe abortion with pills is over 95 percent effective and is extremely safe, with less than a 1 percent chance of severe complications. Mozambique 2023
2. Safe abortion care saves lives
Pregnant people in crisis-affected settings are at greater risk of experiencing adverse health outcomes. In some cases, abortion is necessary to save the person’s life or preserve their health.
Lifesaving care
“A few years ago, I was on assignment with MSF in a country where access to abortion is heavily restricted. One night a woman came in, bleeding heavily, with a life-threatening pregnancy complication.
“The team gathered to discuss the best way to help our patient. In order to save her life, we needed to help her end the pregnancy safely. Not everyone on the team agreed with abortion. But despite our different values and convictions, we were united by a fundamental truth: that we were all there to save this patient’s life and limit her suffering.
When people are denied access to safe abortion care, they are at higher risk of resorting to unsafe methods that can lead to severe or life-threatening complications. Unsafe abortion is a leading cause of maternal mortality, causing an estimated 22,800—31,000 maternal deaths per year, worldwide.
What makes an abortion unsafe
According to the World Health Organization, an abortion is unsafe if the person providing the abortion does not have the necessary skills or if the abortion takes place in an environment that does not meet minimal medical standards.
Health consequences of unsafe abortions
Safe abortion care is not resource-intensive to provide. When safe abortion is legal and accessible, complications are rare and generally do not require complex treatment.
However, complications due to unsafely induced abortion require emergency care to prevent long-term health consequences and death. At MSF, we regularly see patients experiencing severe and life-threatening conditions and injuries due to unsafe abortion, including severe hemorrhage, sepsis (severe general infection), poisoning, uterine perforation, or damage to other internal organs. Some patients die before arriving at a hospital; others need major surgery to survive, and some are left permanently disabled.
Resorting to unsafe abortion
“There were two young girls from the same family—both 15 years old and pregnant. They wanted to continue with their schooling. So, after getting advice from their friends, they secretly went into the bush looking for traditional herbs.
“They prepared the herbs and drank them, thinking that this remedy would cause an abortion. The girls began to have abdominal complications. Their bellies became swollen. They were in pain. They were crying.
“Their parents took them to the hospital. Both girls died within minutes of each other. They died as a result of poisoning from the traditional plants they used to induce abortion. This happens a lot here.
3. Legal and policy barriers to abortion negatively affect people’s health and well-being
Laws and policies restricting or banning access to safe abortion do not reduce abortion-seeking behavior, nor do they affect the need for care, or protect people from complications related to unsafe abortion.
The impact of abortion-related legal and policy restrictions on patients’ health
In contexts when abortion is illegal or otherwise restricted through laws or policies, individuals carrying an unintended pregnancy may have no choice but to resort to unsafe abortion methods. When abortion is criminalized, individuals are less likely to seek timely medical attention if complications occur due to fears of prosecution. In one year, MSF treated more than 2,800 cases of unsafely induced abortion in Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC). A study of MSF health facilities in DRC found that women and girls experiencing abortion-related complications delayed accessing care due to fears of legal and societal repercussions.
The criminalization of abortion has broader harmful implications for health providers and personnel as it may also impede sexual and reproductive health service delivery more generally. A study by MSF and partners on unsafe abortion morbidity and mortality in Nigeria found that providers working in contexts restrictive toward safe abortion care could be cautious to support access to other sexual and reproductive health services. Among providers surveyed in Nigeria, 79 percent reported that they would seek spousal consent before providing patients with contraception, and 60 of providers would seek parental consent for contraception if the patient was a minor. When asked the same question about post-abortion care—92 percent of providers said they would seek spousal consent, and 88 percent said they would seek parental consent if the patient was a minor.
If a health provider has to evaluate legal and criminal risks before providing a patient with care, the resulting delay could be dangerous for the patient’s health and well-being, especially in emergencies. Restrictive laws and policies on abortion worsen health equities by creating barriers to safe abortion care that disproportionately impact marginalized and underrepresented people.
Restrictive laws and policies on abortion worsen health equities by creating barriers to safe abortion care that disproportionately impact marginalized and underrepresented people.
In 2022, the United States Supreme Court overturned decades of legal precedent recognizing abortion access as a constitutional right set by Roe v. Wade in 1973. MSF is concerned that the loss of the constitutional right to abortion in the US will lead to terrible health outcomes for all people who can become pregnant, particularly people of color and those with limited resources to access care in states where abortion is not restricted.
Although decriminalization and the elimination of legal and policy restrictions to abortion are important steps, they do not alone guarantee the availability of safe abortion care, particularly in places in which abortion was previously legally prohibited or heavily restricted. Health systems respond slowly and inconsistently to change and persisting knowledge gaps and resistance from health workers may hinder access to safe abortion care. In some cases, people may not be aware of their options for safe abortion care or how to access it. In Colombia, for example, despite significant decriminalization of abortion over a decade ago, MSF teams working in the port cities of Buenaventura and Tumaco have found general ignorance about the current scope of safe abortion care, including among health care workers.
Safe abortion should be legal and regulated like any other medical procedure to ensure that all people have access to essential care.
4. Abortion is an essential component of sexual and reproductive health
Access to safe abortion care is a critical, lifesaving part of sexual and reproductive health care, one that safely supports patients who do not wish to be pregnant. In the settings where MSF works, safe abortion care is an effective intervention to prevent maternal mortality and suffering.
Sexual and reproductive health services at MSF
Providing sexual and reproductive health services, including safe abortion care and post-abortion care, has long been part of our health programming. In 2023, MSF teams around the world provided 54,500 consultations for safe abortion care, the majority in African countries, along with 31,000 consultations for post-abortion care, most taking place in Afghanistan, Yemen, South Sudan, and Bangladesh.
In addition to providing safe abortion and post-abortion care, MSF provides contraceptive counseling and access to a range of contraceptive methods. Our projects provide a variety of contraceptive methods to help patients prevent unintended pregnancy and/or STI transmission. MSF aims to provide the full range of contraceptives, including implants, intrauterine devices, injectables, oral contraceptive pills, condoms, and emergency contraception.
Even when individuals have access to contraception, they can still experience an unintended pregnancy and require access to safe abortion care.
Access to quality contraceptive care, including accurate information and a mix of methods, can be an important and positive force in the lives of patients, their families, and communities. At the same time, increasing access to contraceptives must always be accompanied by respect for contraceptive autonomy, wherein patients are supported in their decision regarding whether to use contraception, which methods to use or not use, when to use them, and when to not use them. This means that we support patients to decide for themselves what they want regarding contraceptive use and help them achieve that.
Contraception is not, however, a replacement for safe abortion care. Even when individuals have access to contraception, they can still experience an unintended pregnancy and require access to safe abortion care. As part of our commitment to medical ethics and patient-centered care, MSF provides a range of sexual and reproductive health services to meet the needs of our patients.
5. Abortion is a matter of bodily autonomy
MSF recognizes that it is not the role of health providers to scrutinize the reasons why someone might seek an abortion.
We respect our patients’ decisions and provide them with accurate and comprehensive information, so they can make informed decisions about their own bodies. Regardless of what these decisions are, it is our responsibility to provide them with safe and high-quality care.
We know that there are often serious and detrimental consequences on people’s lives when they are denied access to abortion. Supporting abortion as health care is a powerful way to prevent poor outcomes and improve people’s well-being. Anyone who seeks an abortion—no matter their reason—is deserving of high-quality and dignified care.
Scenes from the movie “A Book By Their Cover” which was filmed in Berkshire County.
“[Young people] need to have visibility, and they don’t need to learn about things covertly with shame,” said filmmaker John Tedeschi. “They should be given the same awkward chance of learning about sex, sexuality, sex education, and biology.”
Inspired by controversial local events, Stockbridge filmmaker John Tedeschi has created the film “A Book By Their Cover.” In an interview with The Berkshire Edge, first-time screenwriter and movie director Tedeschi said that the movie is partially inspired by the controversy surrounding the Great Barrington Police Department’s investigation of a W.E.B. Du Bois Regional Middle School teacher over the book “Gender Queer.”
As of late September, the now-former teacher’s lawsuit over the incident continues to go through the court system. Tedeschi said that while the movie was partially inspired by the incident, other events around the country also influenced the film, including book bans connected to the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer (LGBTQ+) community.
“When I was listening to the meeting at the middle school that was held regarding the book, I felt that there is a need for that book to be available to some people, as long as it is age appropriate,” Tedeschi said.
The movie centers around 12-year-old Samantha, played by actress Eva Ferreira, who discovers a book while staying at her grandparent’s house. “She discovers a book on the bookshelf of their house, and it sort of piqued her curiosity,” Tedeschi said. “It’s a medical book. From that book, she starts to realize and learn things about herself. She thinks that she needs to read the book privately or covertly. As everyone in the house goes to bed, in the middle of the night Smantha comes down the stairs and reads the book.”
Tedeschi said that the medical book she reads was written in 1962. “She goes to the pages that say ‘homosexual’ on them,” Tedeschi said. “She is a little bit dismayed, confused, and scared. Samantha goes to school the next day, and the stress is aggravating and upsetting her. We see her go into the school bathroom, and she’s very frustrated and alone.”
Actress Eva Ferreira stars as 12-year-old Samantha.
Tedeschi explained that Samantha goes home to her parents and asks them questions. “Her parents don’t know all of the answers, but they are very supportive,” Tedeschi said. “They decide to get a book to help her.” Samantha’s parents give her the book “The Every Body Book: The LGBTQ+ Inclusive Guide for Kids about Sex, Gender, Bodies, and Families,” written in 2020 by Rachel Simon and illustrated by Noah Grigni.
Tedeschi said that trouble arises when Samantha takes the book to school. “During the school day, someone sees the book who doesn’t like it,” Tedeschi said. “That person [the school janitor] takes the book, confiscates it, and brings it to the principal. The principal brings the book to the superintendent, and in turn, the superintendent calls the police.”
Film director and writer John Tedeschi plays the character of “Carl Stallings,” a school janitor, who finds Samantha’s copy of “The Every Body Book” during a school day and confiscates it.
The movie then flashes forward to a town meeting during which various opinions are voiced about the book and the investigation.
The town meeting scene in “A Book By Their Cover.”
“But the book is eventually given back to Samantha,” Tedeschi said. “She is a bit shaken, but she feels that she can move forward, figure things out, and then start to feel better in time.”
When asked what he hopes audiences will get out of the film, Tedeschi said, “I hope people realize that resources are needed and are important for young people to feel that they are equal and visible.”
“[Young people] need to have visibility, and they don’t need to learn about things covertly with shame,” Tedeschi said. “They should be given the same awkward chance of learning about sex, sexuality, sex education, and biology. Children sometimes ask their parents how babies are made, and there’s this quick answer. But there’s not always the answer of adoption, or that there are other types of families out there. I feel like we need to be a little bit more updated and knowledgeable about the spectrum of various families and information.”
The film was filmed in Berkshire County. “We filmed a lot of it in Stockbridge,” Tedeschi said. “We were also able to use a middle school in Otis for some scenes.”
Tedeschi said that he is entering “A Book By Their Cover” in various festivals, and that the film will soon be available to watch on the Community Television of South Berkshires public access cable channel.
In an email to The Berkshire Edge after the interview, Tedeschi clarified:
… [T]he film is not a true story, it is not a film that uses the words ‘based on true or actual events’, and the characters are not intended to appear as any actual person. The film was inspired by many things, it is a mirror, as you said, of events but it is not the actual likeness.
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