Masturbation May Help With Menopause Symptoms

“Self-pleasure offers an effective, accessible tool.”

By

With symptoms like hot flashes, trouble sleeping, and vaginal dryness in the mix, menopause can be a difficult experience for many women. However, there are treatment options available, including hormone therapy and lifestyle tweaks. Now, new research has pinpointed a lifestyle hack that can help women struggling with symptoms of menopause: masturbation.

That’s the major takeaway from early research released by the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University on September 16. Of course, this is an unusual treatment plan and it’s understandable to have questions about how, exactly, this all works. Here’s what’s behind all of this.

Meet the expert: Women’s health expert Jennifer Wider, MD.

What did researchers find?

Researchers, who conducted the surveys in partnership with in partnership with sexual wellbeing company the Lovehoney Group and its Womanizer brand, did so over two phases. The first phase surveyed 1,500 American adults between the ages of 18 and 88 to look at overall public knowledge about menopause. In phase two, the scientists surveyed 1,500 women between the ages of 40 and 65 to learn more about their experiences with menopause.

In the first phase, the researchers found that more than 75 percent of women knew that menopause was the permanent end of having a period. However, they also discovered that very few women would identify the symptoms of menopause.

In phase 2, the researchers discovered that 36.2 percent of women going through menopause said that they had an improvement in their symptoms when they masturbated. But while one in 10 women said they used self-pleasure as the main way they coped with menopausal symptoms, 46 percent of women said they would be open to trying masturbation to relieve their symptoms if it was recommended by a healthcare provider.

Can masturbation relieve menopause symptoms?

It’s important to point out that the researchers didn’t explore whether masturbation can relieve symptoms of menopause. Instead, they found that some women said it helped with their symptoms. (But this wasn’t studied in a lab or anything.)

That said, there are some theories on why this could help. “Masturbation has been shown to improve mood, improve sleep, and promote vaginal health,” says women’s health expert Jennifer Wider, MD. “This is why it may help alleviate some of the symptoms of menopause.”

By the way, Wider says that having an orgasm via sex may create similar results in some women. “In others who are experiencing vaginal dryness, intercourse will be painful and getting to the point of orgasm may be difficult and not have the same desired results,” she adds.

“This survey shows self-pleasure offers an effective, accessible tool for menopausal symptom relief, which is important to integrate with existing care strategies,” said Cynthia Graham, PhD, senior scientist at the Kinsey Institute, added in a statement.

Do doctors recommend masturbation for menopause?

As of now, it’s not common for doctors to recommend masturbation for menopause. However, it’s worth noting that five percent of the women surveyed by the Kinsey Institute said that their doctors suggested masturbation as a possible way to manage their symptoms. So, clearly some doctors are recommending it.

Ultimately, Wider says this is worth trying if you’re interested. “This is a risk-free recommendation and has little downside— and it has potential to alleviate some unwanted menopausal symptoms,” she says.

Complete Article HERE!

Is It Possible To Masturbate Too Much?

— We Asked A Sex Therapist

By Kelly Gonsalves

Remember that time on Sex and the City when Charlotte received a rabbit vibrator and fell so in love with it that her friends needed to stage an intervention?

It was a fun and goofy storyline, but it does operate under the assumption that it’s possible to masturbate “too much.” So…is it?

Listen. Sometimes you get your hands on a sex toy that just blows your mind, and you need to spend basically every night with it for a few weeks.

Or you’re just having a bit of a hard month, and you just really need to blow off steam in the evenings with a little help from your vibrator. And sometimes there is no reason—you’re just horny, or in the mood, or feeling it, so you go for it. Often.

No one’s judging! But in case you’ve ever wondered if you’re overdoing it, we reached out to sex and relationship therapist Shadeen Francis, LMFT, to get the lowdown on your downtown time.

Can you masturbate too much?

“Self-pleasure is a very low-risk sexual activity,” Francis says.

That said, it’s possible to do anything in excess, including masturbation. Just like you can exercise too much or wash your hands too much—even though those are generally great habits—you can also masturbate too much.

“If your masturbation habits are causing you mental, emotional, relational, or physical distress, that is an indicator that you may be masturbating more than is currently healthy for you,” she explains.

She emphasizes that pleasure is healthy, and most people don’t have to worry about overdoing it.

In fact, the guilt around masturbation is much more likely to negatively affect someone’s well-being than the actual masturbating. “Sexual health includes your awareness of your sexual needs and feeling empowered to act on them safely,” she explains.

But, as Francis points out, if you’re masturbating with a frequency that’s causing physical harm (that is, you’re noticing soreness or bruising) or negative impact on other parts of your life (like feeling consistently distracted by thoughts of masturbating at work such that you can’t accomplish anything), that’s a sign that it’s time to take a pause, evaluate the role masturbation is playing in your life, and potentially make some changes.

It’s also possible for your body to get used to a certain type of stimulation, Francis notes—for example, the feeling of a vibrator on your clitoris or the rhythm of your own hand on your shaft. ”

They may notice difficulty maintaining their [erection] or reaching orgasm in partnered sex if it doesn’t mirror what they do when they’re alone,” she says, but adds that this issue is easily solved by making sure to mix things up while masturbating or bringing some of your solo activities into partnered sex.

(Don’t underestimate the thrill of mutual masturbation, people!) If you want, it may also help to pause on masturbation for a bit before a partnered sexual experience.

Signs you’re masturbating too much

How much masturbation is too much will depend on the individual, Francis says. A routine that feels great for one person might feel like way too much for another person.

Rather than focusing on frequency, focus on how the behavior makes you feel and how it is (or isn’t) affecting your life.

Here are some signs Francis looks for to know if a person’s current masturbation practice might not be healthy for them:

  • It feels like a need instead of a choice.
  • It no longer feels pleasurable.
  • You’re experiencing pain, numbness, or loss of pleasing sensation.
  • There is a significant decline in your availability for sexual presence with partners.
  • You are struggling to keep up with your responsibilities because of how often you masturbate.
  • You’re feeling mental, emotional, or relational distress around masturbating.

“The general rule of thumb is that if something is causing unintended pain, you should take that as an indicator that something is wrong,” she says.

If any of the above feel like they may apply to you or if you simply find yourself continuing to worry about your behavior, consider reaching out to a sex therapist or another qualified sexual health professional who can help you take a closer look at what’s going on.

The takeaway

There’s nothing wrong with masturbating a lot. Most people masturbate because it brings them a little pleasure, relaxation, or relief at the end of a long day or because they just want to have fun connecting with their body.

Now, if you find your masturbation feels less relaxing and more stress-inducing, or if it feels “out of control” in any way, it’s worth checking in with a professional to make sure everything’s OK.

But if you generally feel anywhere from amazing to neutral before and after masturbating and aren’t noticing any negative effects on other parts of your life, you probably don’t need to worry. Regular masturbation is a common and generally healthy pastime, so if it’s feeling good, have at it.

Complete Article HERE!

Big Fat Q&A Show — Podcast #207 — 05/24/10

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Hey sex fans,

We take a bit of a break from The Erotic Mind podcast series today to attend to the unsightly buildup in both my voicemail and email in-boxes. And you know there’s nothing more embarrassing that unsightly buildup in your box, huh?

  • Josh shoots meth in his dick. But there’s been an accident.
  • Jen has a BF that can’t get her off.
  • Brandi has been going along for the ride for 10 years!
  • Coral is starving to death…sexually.
  • Billy is in the throws of andropause and he’s clueless.
  • Betty’s vibrator broke…inside her!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

drdickvod.jpg

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #149 — 08/31/09

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Hey sex fans,

women_bathI guess everyone is enjoying The Erotic Mind
series as much as me.  So yeah for that!   Apparently you love to listen to my chats with these brilliant artists and authors as much as I enjoy interviewing them.  But while I’m busy doing that, my in-box and voicemail gets clogged with messages from the sexually worrisome looking for advice.  And ya know what?  They’ve come to the right palace; and so have you.  Today’s show is all Q&A.

So make yourself comfortable it’s gonna be a very interesting ride.

  • Giggles says she’s gettin off on Joy.
  • Anonymous wants to learn how to blow himself.
  • Celia thinks her clit is too little.
  • Deborah wants the low-down on open relationships!
  • Then there’s a whole bunch of quickies.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for all of my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Nikol Hasler, Part 2 — Podcast #75 — 08/11/08

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Hey sex fans,nikol7.jpg

I know you’ve all been dying for this, but keep your collective shirts on already, why don’t cha.

Without further delay, here’s Part 2 of my interview with the host of the Midwest Teen Sex Show, that darling of the internet tubes — Nikol Hasler.

Oh, and by the way, if you missed Part 1 of this interview, look for Podcast #74 in the Podcast Archive at the top of the sidebar to your right.

Nikol and I talk about:

  • A parent’s responsibility for the sex education of their kids.
  • Female masturbation.
  • Male masturbation.
  • The show’s enormous popularity.
  • Collaborating with her costars.
  • Being an unlikely sex educator.
  • The future of MWTSS.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

 

Kypris and Steven Jay, Part 1 — Podcast #52 — 02/25/08

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Hey sex fans,

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!

I have some very exciting news. This week we inaugurate a brand-spankin’ new podcast format that will become a regular feature of many upcoming programs. From time to time, we will depart from our usual question and answer arrangement and bring you lively and informative interviews with interesting people making news in the field of sexuality.

This week I am pleased to bring you Part 1 of my interview with two masters in the practice ofsteven_kypris_book_us.jpg Tantric Sex. Kypris and Steven Jay are the founders of YabYummy.com, an online resource for people seeking a tantric path to sexual wholeness.

They share their thoughts about:

  • The meaning of Tantra
  • Ejaculation control
  • Healing fear, guilt and shame
  • Multiple Orgasms
  • Female Masturbation

BE THERE, OR BE SQUARE!

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #47 — 01/21/08

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

I have a nice load of provocative questions from the sexually worrisome. And I respond with an equal number of astounding, amiable and oh so informative responses! Hey, it’s what I do.

  • Amy’s vibrator don’t work no how!
  • Dan is dating a woman with a blockage. But what kind of blockage?
  • Jon’s meds eliminates his spooge output. Pity that!
  • LD’s partner died, but he wants to get back in the swing of things.

FINALLY, ANOTHER SEXUAL ENRICHMENT TUTORIAL

  • The Big Tease; How to Strip for Someone Special

BE THERE, OR BE SQUARE!

Winter Solstice Worries

Before we begin today I want to send out hearty holiday greetings to all my pagan friends. Here in the northern hemisphere — HAPPY Winter SOLSTICE! Ya’ll in the southern hemisphere — HAPPY Summer SOLSTICE!

Some of us overlook these important and most ancient of festivals. Our culture’s Judeo-Christian bias blurs the origins of most of the religious observances we still take for granted today — like Christmas. When Christianity became the dominant influence in our culture it co-opted the trappings of these festivals, robbed them of their heavily laden sexual context and mercilessly persecuted their adherents. And that, to my mind, is a fuckin’ pity. What a different world this would be if that hadn’t happened.

Name: BJ
Gender: Female
Age: 23
Location:PA
I’ve been sexually active for several years now and have yet to reach an orgasm. Oral sex, intercourse nor masturbation have been effective. Is there something wrong with me, what might help?

I’d be very much surprised if there was actually something physically wrong with you. But you clearly have some difficulty letting go. And simply put, an orgasm is letting go of built up sexual tension.

Lot of preorgasmic women don’t feel entitled to an orgasm, for one reason or another. Other women are simply unversed on how to make the big “O” happen in their own fine self. Sometimes it’s a combination of both resistance and a lack of know how.

I used to have this client, a woman in her late 30’s, the mother of three and a devote Catholic. She was preorgasmic too. Her big stumbling block was fear. You got it; fear of having an orgasm. She had heard from other women, over the years, how powerful orgasms were and how pleasurable they were. My client somehow got it in her head that if she were to ever let go and give up that long-awaited screamin’ meme, her entire world would collapse. She would become a sex addict, neglect her children, divorce her husband and turn her back on God…the whole enchilada.

With that kind of mindset, this little lady wasn’t gonna let herself cum no how.

I had to reassure her that, as delightful as orgasms are, they are not like crack cocaine. xmas_lesbians.jpgI told her there was no chance that she’d fly to pieces as a mother, wife and friend of Jesus if she were to ever squeeze one out. I had to keep repeating this over and over till it finally sank in. You talk about hardheaded! In the end, she had her precious orgasm, joined the ranks of the sexually satisfied and lived happily ever after. …Well, I can’t honestly say about the happily ever after part.

Back to you BJ, I don’t suppose there’s any way you could have one of your gal-pals show you how it’s done, is there? The reason I ask is most guys learn how to choke the chicken by watching, or being instructed by another guy. Us men folk are really good about doin that for one another. Women folk, on the other hand, don’t seem to do this for one another as much.a16608_160w.jpg Which is a freakin’ pity, if ya ask me.

If you can’t (or won’t) get a pal to show you the finer points of proper pussy pleasuring, I have another suggestion for you. Mozie on over to DR DICK’S HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY and check out a swell instructional video. Do a quick search for “female masturbation” and let the experts show you a thing or two. You’ll be so glad you did.

Write back again and let me know how things go. If you’re not successful, I still have a few other tricks up my sleeve.

My wife fantasizes about cum swapping with me and forcing me to lick my freshly deposited spooge out of her vagina, but every time we try, just after I ejaculate, I loose my nerve. I have tried to taste my own cum before, and it really does turn me on, but there seems to be a huge difference between fantasizing and doing. I love my wife and want to fulfill her fantasy. How do I get over my apprehension to gulping my own love juice?
Regards, Chris

OMG! What are you, trying to do make me sick? Just kidding! What a spunky little spitfire you’re married to, Chris. Nasty little piggy sex, my favorite kind! You guys GO!“

Vaga-felching” or “lickin’ a creampie” is a relatively obscure fetish. The gays are more likely to felch, cuz they’re like so into the whole jizz thing, don’t cha know. But Vaga-felching is a-completely-nother thing…especially if it’s a straight dude doing the felching.

Ya see, a guy is always up for layin’ down and nice slime trail, but lickin it up again, especially after it’s been loitering about in the inner-regions of a pussy…why that’s pretty much enough to make most straight dudes hurl.

I suppose you’re slightly ahead of the ballgame, considering you say you find the taste of your own issue a turn on. That’s a good start. The big hurdle, of course, is having the same desires post-ejaculation as you do pre-ejaculation. And therein lies the rub, darlin’.

When we’re in the throws of passion, when we’re totally aroused, we get in this state. It’s just like a state of suspended animation, only completely different. 😉 Our sense of sight, smell, touch and taste are muted and our judgment is impaired too. Which allows us to do all sorts of things we wouldn’t consider if our dick wasn’t raging. You know the old saying; “A stiff dick has no conscience,” don’t cha? Well, it’s kinda like that.

Anyhow, all the nasty piggy little things we can groove on with a hardon, often evaporate once we’ve shot our load. And seein’ that ya gotta shoot your load in order to make a creampie, the fetching thereafter becomes considerably less tantalizing once you do…if ya catch my drift.

I suppose you could push past the hesitation you have with a little mind game. You could try to convince yourself that what was alluring before the creampie was made is the same thing as after. But then you’d have to override your reinstated judgment and sense of sight, smell, touch and taste to do so.

Get it? Got it? Good!

Hey there,
My question involves my uncircumcised penis. I am 20 years old and pretty sexually active when I’m involved with a girl. I’m curious because is my head, underneath my foreskin, is extremely sensitive. Only in the past year or so have I been working to stretch my foreskin over my head, and now that I’ve successfully exposed my dick, it’s sensitive as hell, almost to the point to where it hurts to touch. The other thing is that when I come close to ejaculation when masturbating/being masturbated, that it doesn’t bother me anymore if my head is touched. Is this normal for a circumcised male? I really am not educated about how an uncircumcised penis is supposed to be/work and really can’t talk to anyone about it. Please help educate me!
Jason

Lucky the man with a natural, intact dick! A super-sensitive dickhead is the birthright of every male. Unfortunately, some of us never get to know the excruciating sensitivity that uncut men know all their lives. Pity that!uncut_tip.jpg

You are correct to notice that as you approach an orgasm, your dickhead can receive more touch then when you are not aroused. Like I was sayin’ to the guy above you, “…when we’re in the throws of passion, when we’re totally aroused, we get in this state. Our senses of sight, smell, touch and taste are muted…”This is nature’s way of desensitizing the very tool we’d need to bring our pleasure to fruition — entering a pussy and depositing our seed there.

Once that task is complete, the normal sensitivity resumes. And since our dick can’t tell between a simple jerk off session, some fine gay sex and an attempt to impregnate a female it just behaves the same way each time we play with our thingy.So sounds to me like everything on your unit is working perfectly well.

Enjoy the gift you have!

Name: lup92
Gender: Male
Age: 15
Location: England
I’m 15 and masturbate often but have had no form of sex although my girlfriend wants to start. however my penis and scrotum have extremely small lumps all over. I also have a purple red large lump on the rim of my bellend. what do i do? should i start? or do i risk giving something to my girlfriend?

Here’s the thing about lumps and bumps and discolorations of the skin anywhere on your body, especially on your precious willie, pup. They are signs that all is not well. Do us all a big favor and have your johnson looked at by a physician right away. This is nothing to fool around with.

Everything you describe could be completely harmless, but you don’t want to take the chance that it isn’t. And here’s a tip: don’t do it for your girlfriend. DO IT FOR YOU! It’s your dick, you gotta lean how to take care of it. And there’s no time like the present to start properly lookin after it.

There is one more thing. And I’m gonna be as blunt as I know how. If you think you’re old enough to fuck, you’re old enough to know about condoms and how to use them. If ya don’t, you’re just a dumb kid who might function like a grown-up, but who doesn’tstockingcondoms.jpg know how to behave like one. And I don’t want to believe that about you.

What it is with young people (old people too) who are still fuckin’ clueless about unprotected sex in this day and age? I’ve been reading the celebrity gossip here in the States lately. All the whoha about Jamie Lynn Spears, Britney’s 16-year-old sister, gettin knocked up. WTF? Is anyone paying attention?

I have nothing against younger people being sexual. That pretty much is to be expected. But I am totally opposed to kids having kids! Like I said, if you’re old enough to swing it around, you’re old enough to know how to swing it responsibly.

Good luck ya’ll

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Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #43 — 12/10/07

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

I have a really delicious show for you today. We have a big load of stimulating questions from all over the globe. And I respond with an equal number of stunning, cheeky and oh so informative responses! Hey, it’s what I do.

  • Wondering is wondering about many things to do with her pussy!
  • Young Jaymie’s got it bad for his mate. But the boy sleeps right through it.
  • Rachel has yet to cum after two tries. WTF?
  • Kirk is a randy little bugger, but doesn’t know where to point his dick.

BE THERE, OR BE SQUARE!

…don’t let me get too deep

Name: Mystery man
Gender: male
Age:
Location
Hi Dr,
I was wondering how do I make my scrotum more looser? I like to jack-off with them loose for some odd reason…is it something natural where you cannot because its all about the temperature? Thank you, and e-mail me back when you respond! =) Thanks a bunch

Lots of guys are into stretching their balls; it’s a very common practice (fetish). Like you suggest there’s nothing like a pair of low-hangers slappin’ against your junk as you pull your pud.180px-scrotum_by_david_shankbone.jpg

Oh, and you have the whole temperature thing backward. Your nuts hang outside and away from your body so they stay slightly cooler than you normal core body temperature. This keeps sperm production at its peak.

Think of the fun you’ll have with a partner too. Do you know about tea baggin? It’s all the rage, don’t cha know! When you stretch out your balls, you’ll be able to straddle your partner and do deep knee bends, while you’re family jewels dip in and out of your partner’s mouth as you proceed with your up and down motion.

a576.jpgDon’t know a ball stretcher from a hole in your head? Not to worry. There are several kinds of devices, all encircle your sack above your balls and then either pushes your balls away from the body, or yanks down on your nuts. Most stretchers are made of soft leather, or metal, or a combination of both. Persistent use can stretch your sack a good 3 inches. By the way, the stretching itself can produce a very erotic sensation both in your balls and your testicle cords (vas deferens). See Dr Dick’s Stockroom for the 411 on all things relating to stretching your balls

For example, check out this little number: The Parachute Ball Stretcher. This is a classic, handmade Parachute Ball Stretcher, made of black leather with a snap closure. The parachute snaps around the balls, and a metal O-ring hangs below, connected by three chains. The Parachute is adjustable and is made in two sizes. You can pull gently on the ring, or attach a leash, etc. Weights can also be attached, but for god sake, have your wits about you when you try this. You can injure yourself if not careful.

Name: Dan and Rebecca
Gender: Couple
Age: 25, 20
Location:
We are a happy but frustrated couple looking for advice. I’m a 25
year old male, and my lovely girlfriend is 20.
I have no problem bringing her to orgasm and pleasing her, but since we’ve been seeing each other I have not been able to cum once. In the past it was always difficult for me to cum during sex, my first time (age 18) my then gf and I went for about three hours before we just gave up. Usually I would have to jerk myself off afterwards but now I can’t even do that.
However if I am alone with porn I am easily able to masturbate and can get off a few times a day. How is it that I can jerk off to pictures that mean nothing to me, but can’t cum for the woman I love the most?
I’ve spoken with a doctor and he said medically there is nothing wrong with my penis. What do you suggest we do? We are really getting frustrated and just want to be able to please each other.

Simply put, there’s a difference between the psychosexual response we have when we are alone and the one we experience with a partner. Your doctor is right, there’s probably nothing wrong with your unit. It’s all in your head…or your mind, to be more exact. And I’m not being flippant.

If I had to guess, I’d say you have a real bad case of performance anxiety. Here’s how this nasty thing works. Say I have a less than satisfying sexual experience for one reason or another. Before I know it, I’m replaying the incident over and over in my mind’s eye till that’s all I can think about. The proverbial molehill has become a mountain. I bring my anxiety to my next encounter. Mykovalik.jpg hyper-consciousness primes me for more disappointment. And I’m ready to interpret all disappointment as a failure. Well, you can see where I’m going with this, huh? My fears become self-fulfilling and I find I’m beginning to avoid sex, my relationship suffers, I develop a full-blown sexual dysfunction and my self-esteem takes a nosedive. My preoccupation with my problem makes it less likely that I’ll be fully present during sex with my partner, which pretty much scuttles my sexual responsiveness and any hope for spontaneity.

It looks to me like performance anxiety is putting a damper on your sexual arousal and short-circuiting your sexual response cycle. Get thee to a sex-positive therapist ASAP, darling! Believe me this is nothing to fool around with, especially for someone at your tender age. When I see this sort of thing in my private practice, I always begin the therapeutic intervention by calling a moratorium on fucking of any kind. This immediately takes a great deal of the pressure off the couple. From there we begin to rebuild the partnered psychosexual response one step at a time. We begin with sensate focus training, stress reduction and relaxation exercises. I have the greatest confidence in this method; it succeeds over 90% of the time.

Good luck

Name: Gene
Gender:
Age: 45
Location: Orlando
I am a homosexual, and I have a “friend” who has been incarcerated for five years. The relationship while he was out with me was excellent. I have asked him numerous of times is he having sex with the homo’s in jail and he responds by saying no. I think otherwise, and he wants to come back to me upon his release. My question is “should I wait for him”?

Gene, Gene, Gene, there are so many things wrong with this picture, I hardly know where to start. Your man’s in the big house for 5 years, and you expect him to keep it in his pants for the duration…just for you? Like WHY? Hey, he’s in the clink, not in a monastery. Oh wait; even monks in the monastery don’t keep it in their habit nowadays! At any rate, it may not be completely up to him if he has sex or not…if you catch my drift. Maybe he’s someone’s bitch right now, he’s just not telling you about it.

Should you wait for him? You mean, all alone by yourself with no one to comfort you while your guys’ doin’ his time? This sounds like the script for a real bad 1950’s prison movie. You could play the Linda Darnell part — the long-suffering girlfriend pining away while her good-for-nothing man pays his debt to society.

Honey, you need to get out more.

Name: omg
Gender:
Age: 32
Location: al
Is it wrong for a married woman to want to masturbate when alone?

I doubt it. What could possibly be wrong with wanting to pleasure yourself when you are alone? As we all know, many women only get off through masturbation. Hell, nowadays liberated women folk everywhere are comfortable enough with their sexuality to jill-off with their partner.

Besides, there’s no better way to get to know your body and your sexual response cycle than through self-pleasuring. Once you’re well acquainted with how your body works, you’ll have a whole lot how much information about how you tic that you can share with your partner when the time comes. It’s a win/win situation.

While I’m at it, let me invite you to send me information about technique, style, fantasy, setting and perhaps implements used in your masturbation. I invite you to submit stories of your earliest experiences; failures as well as successes. You can contribute by using the comments section on the Jillin’ Off page.

Name: JR
Gender:
Age: 20
Location: Florida
Hi Dr. Dick. I’ve been having gay sex since I was 12, so it’s not new to me but I have 2 problems. Problem 1 is that no matter what anyone does to me they can not make me cum. I have had people put it to the test by jerking me off, sucking me, fucking me and jerking me off, but it doesn’t work. I can cum no problem if i do it on my own but the thing is my b/f feels like he can’t please me. problem 2, my boyfriend is new to the whole being gay thing. we have been going out for about a year now and he has been the top. I have only been able to top him 2 since we started going out. that was in the first 6 months of our relationship. but now no matter what i do i can’t top him. i have taken hours to help him prepare, by stretching himself, to rimming, fingering, everything. I can only get my head in when he says that it hurts. we thought that if he sat on it and take more control of it all it would be better but it doesn’t help at all. what can we do for it?

Like I said to Dan and Rebecca above, there’s a difference between the1721-1.jpg psychosexual response we have when we are alone and the one we experience with a partner. Many people are unable to, or choose not to, get off in partnered sex. And there is any number of reasons why. Since you’re able to get yourself off when you are with your partner, why not just leave it at that?

Some people think a sexual encounter is only “successful” if one of the partners gets the other partner off. This is nonsense. Some guys, you may be one of them, can only get off by their own hand. It doesn’t diminish the quality of the encounter, just proves that each person has a unique sexual response. Folks, there’s no necessary connection between an ejaculation and sexual satisfaction, just like there’s no necessary connection between an ejaculation and an orgasm.

As to your hapless boyfriend who can bottom no how…probably it’s simply not his thing, for whatever reason. It seems so unfortunate that you guys are so balled up with all these “shoulds” about what a pleasurable encounter must be like. Why not just relax and enjoy what comes naturally in your being together? No need to force or script the passion into a preconceived idea of how things ought to be.

Name: joy
Gender:
Age: 21
Location: california
I have been dating this guy for almost 3 year and also live with him. I love the way he makes love to me and i love dick, but sometimes i just want to make out with girls… does this make me a lesbian at all?

vol1_avenger.jpgHardly! Takes more than suckin’ face with another chick to make a gal a lesbiterian. You’re gonna need to get yourself a she-mullet, some plaid shirts and a vibrator that you can kick-start. Now that’ll make ya dyke for damn sure! Sheesh!

Good luck ya’ll.