Category: Kevin

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Battle Of The Strokers

Holy cow sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday and we have something truly unique for you today. In honor of NATIONAL MASTURBATION MONTH, which everyone knows starts tomorrow, 05/01/10; we bring you our first annual stroke-off.

That’s right people; three of The Dr Dick Review Crew’s most able-bodied men — Jack, Kevin and Hank volunteered to bust a nut while using one of the three new masturbators we got from our new friends at Adult Sex Toys .com.

To paraphrase the old saying: To the Victor Goes The Spooge!

Sue Johanson Head Honcho —— $13.97

Jack
I’m up first today with the Head Honcho, a sex toy endorsed by sex educator and host of television’s Sex Talk With Sue Johanson. This thing is supposed to mimic a blowjob. Well, I’ve had my share of hummers and the Head Honcho doesn’t come close to a blowjob.

One thing I want to point out from the start. The Adult Sex Toys .com says that the Head Honcho is made of silicone. But it is not silicone. That’s gotta be a typo, because it is really made of TPR (Thermoplastic Rubber), or so says the packaging. Actually, when I first pulled it out of the box I thought for sure it was jelly latex. Hey, maybe there’s no difference between the two.

At any rate, this mystery material surely contain latex and phthalates; I looked it up online. And for me phthalates are a no no. That’s strike 1! It has a cloying chemical smell, which also kinda smells like cherry Kool-Aid. Ick! Dr Dick calls off gas. This was a boner killer let me tell ya. This is strike 2.

I decided to wash it to rid it of some of the smell. The bath helped, but then the Head Honcho got all sticky. I tried to dry it off with a towel, but that made matters worse. It got all linty and gross. This was strike 3. I was about to skip the whole damn thing when I called Dr Dick for advice. He told me to let it completely air dry then dust it with body powder or cornstarch. This was supposed to cut down on the stickiness. This intervention sorta saved the day.

With all that prep work behind me I finally settled down to some hot porn, some nice water based lube and the considerably less tacky Head Honcho. Because the masturbator is so soft and floppy, it was hard to plug my cock into the mouth-shaped aperture in the front of the toy. Besides that, the hole isn’t very big and I’m pretty hung, so there’s that. Strike 4!

Once I finally got it on my cock I could feel the suction chambers in the neck of the toy. That was kinda cool. But again something happened that killed my boner. There is no bottom or closed base to this thing. And before I knew it the lube I used in the Head Honcho to pave the way for my cock began to dribble out the base. Ok, so that was my fault, not the fault of the toy. But damn, that sure as hell wrecked the moment.

I did finally finish myself off this one time with the Head Honcho. It was a pretty ok nut. But considering the work I had to do just to squeeze one out, it hardly seems worth the effort.

I did the necessary clean up — soap and water, air dry, body powder — after I shot my load. Then I just put the Head Honcho back in the plastic bag it came in and hid it in the back of a drawer. I don’t see me using this ever again.

Bummer!

COLT Power Stroker —— $16.02

Kevin
The masturbator I got is called the COLT Power Stroker. It’s a pint-sized thing that looks like a hand grenade. I’m serious! I mean what marketing genius came up with this concept? I just shook my head in disbelief.

Ok, I won’t hold the shape against it. To each his own, right? But I think I do have a legitimate quarrel with the size. It’s so small! It’s not even 5” tall. I’m not hung like a horse or anything, but common on! This means the only part of your dick that will get massaged with this thing is the tip.

The grenade shape does have one advantage; it’s easy to hold on to. The ridges on the shaft and the notch at the base make for a firm grip even with lubed hands.

The packaging says the Power Stroker is super tight, yet stretchy. Both of those claims are true, especially the super tight claim. Like I said, I have a normal sized dick, but the Power Stroker was difficult for me to invade…to continue the war metaphor.

The packaging also says that the Power Stroker is made of a NEW Futurotic Material. WHAT? Another marking ploy, I guess. I actually took the time to look this up online. Apparently this material contains latex and phthalates. Let’s face it; you can’t have something this soft and squishy without phthalates. So if you can’t do with out soft and squishy, then live with the consequences. But you should know that phthalates are a potential hazard to your reproductive health.

The Power Stroker didn’t have much of a chemical smell. It also came with it’s own little container of powder to dust it with after cleaning. This is a very thoughtful addition. Because if you don’t dust it with powder after cleaning the NEW Futurotic Material gets really tacky and can actually start to break down. This gets me to another point; don’t store this, or any jelly latex toy near another such toy. There will be a chemical reaction that will melt them both. Scary stuff, right?

As far as my jerkoff session with the Power Stroker goes; it was fine. I used water-based lube for easier insertion. But frankly I’m convinced my hand works better. I have all kinds of different strokes available to me with my hands. The Power Stroker, on the other hand, allows for only an up and down motion. Some guys get off on that alone, I prefer a little more variety when I’m spanking the monkey.

I’m ambivalent about recommending the Power Stroker. It does what it claims to do, so maybe that ought to be the last word.

Stroker Xl —— $34.96

Hank
I came away with what I think is the ideal masturbation sleeve. Here is the Stroker Xl, which is made of 100% silicone. There’s no topping that for quality, durability and ease of care.

The silicone in the Stroker Xl is much softer and more supple than I expected. In fact, is so flexible that you can turn it inside out with ease. The outside of the sleeve is smooth; yet, I had no problem getting grip on it even with slightly lubed up hands. The inside has numerous waves, which provide a really nice massaging action on my cock. I really like the fact that the opening (and you can use either end) is wide enough to accommodate my big wiener. If I have to struggle to insert my cock into something, especially a toy; forgetaboutit!

The Stroker Xl is an opaque white color. There’s nothing fussy about it and it doesn’t have that faux flesh feeling to it. And that’s because silicone doesn’t contain harmful Phthalates that would make other materials soft and squishy. And you know Phthalates can be harmful to your health, right?

I had a ball bustin my nut with the Stroker Xl. I grabbed me some water-based lube and slathered it all over my johnson. I was able to pierce the sleeve with ease, yet there was enough friction for some mighty fine pleasure. One drawback is that the sleeve is open at both ends. This doesn’t allow for a vacuum effect that a lot of the other masturbators I’ve tried create. I mean it’s no big thing, because depending on the strength of my grip, I can do a lot of the same thing with just my hand.

It’s kind of a short sleeve, just sort of 6”. That’s not a problem, because I liked seeing my dickhead come out the top with each stroke. After my first very successful stroke session I had two more in the next 36 hours. I plan on keeping the Stroker Xl handy for those “I really need to get off right now” moments. I seem to have a lot of those.

Again, clean up is a snap. Warm soapy water does the trick. It air dries easy enough too. And there is no tacky, sticky effects that happens with those squishy sleeves. In fact, you can even sterilize the Stroker Xl by boiling it; running it through the dishwasher; or wiping it down with a 10% bleach or peroxide solution.

I store my Stroker Xl in a sock in my drawer. Keeps it clean and ready for use at the drop of a hat. Whoops, did I just drop my hat?

If you are looking for a top of the line masturbation sleeves, I defy you to find anything better than the Stroker Xl.

ENJOY

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Free Your Mind!

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday once again. In fact these are our last reviews before our annual Spring Break. The Dr Dick Review Crew will return on 04/09/10

But before we leave for our moment in the sun, we want to bring you some swell toys with a bit of an edge to them. I keep hearing from people that we don’t review nearly enough fetish and kink stuff. Point taken!

The problem has always been connecting with a good edgy toy company that wanted to send us stuff for review. But I believe I now have that problem solved. We welcome a new retailer — Spartacus Leathers. And they are Pacific Northwest neighbors, dont’ cha know; from Portland Oregon.

Review Crew members Gina & Kevin are back with us and they will show & tell us about these three kinky toys.

Nipple Clamps with Vibrator —— $39.00

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “Gosh it’s been a while since our last review. Great to be back.”
Kevin: “Yeah, and finally some kinky toys, ya’ll.”
Gina: “I was just rereading the first review I did with Kevin way back in August 2008. I can’t get over how much I’ve changed since then. For one thing, I’ve discovered I have a real kinky side to me. I can thank all those years of Catholic school for that.”
Kevin: “You can say that again. Gina is maturing into a real pervert. I love it!”
Gina: “I’m discovering that I have a preference for the Dom role, but I can also switch for some sub action.”
Kevin: “When I began introducing Gina to BDSM we played with household items — clothespins, scarves, belts, rubber bands and hairbrushes!”
Gina: “But now we have some real stuff. Case in point; our very own set of Nipple Clamps with Vibrator.”
Kevin: “The nipple tweezer clamps part rocks. However, I was completely under whelmed by the vibe part. It had way more of a tickling sensation than a vibration sensation. I felt it actually detracted from the play instead of enhancing it.”
Gina: “I liked this set up more than Kevin did. The adjustable clamps are very nice. Having them being on an 18″ link chain adds to the possibilities. But Kevin is right, not too much zoom in the vibe, but it is very quiet. I think the design would improve if the vibe was a bit heavier and it had more kick to it.”
Kevin: “There was this great unintentional treat though. When I was wearing the clamps I inadvertently dragged the bullet along Gina’s body while I was on top of her. She clearly got more pleasure from the vibe in this way than I did.”
Gina: “Yeah, that was fun! So then we got the brainstorm to disconnect the vibe that came with the set and we attached a more powerful and heavier vibe that we had handy. We had to gerryrig it, but it worked fine.”
Kevin: “Ok, so we both agree that this is a dynamite concept. We just think that the vibe thing needs some tweaking.”

Divinity White Leather Blindfold —— $25.50

Gina & Kevin
Kevin: “I love blindfolds! I love the wear them as much as I love playing with someone who is wearing them. Anyone who hasn’t tried a blindfold doesn’t know what he’s missing.”
Gina: “I totally agree. When one sense is incapacitated the other senses are heightened. We’ve played with blindfolding one another on numerous occasions. It’s so much fun. However the Divinity White Leather Blindfold is our very first “real” blindfold. It’s made of actual leather and it has a plush blue faux fur lining. They even added three faux gems too.”
Kevin: “It’s like totally over the top girly, but there’s nothing wrong with that. Having someone blindfolded and at your mercy is just as much fun. You get to experiment with the elements of surprise and trust in your play.”
Gina: “It fits surprisingly well. It has a wide elastic headband that should fit all but the tiniest of heads and the headband is very comfortable too. That make wearing it for long periods of play time a pleasure.”
Kevin: “Yeah, the fleece lined eye pieces are absolutely wonderful and allow me to keep it over my eyes for hours without any strain at all.”
Gina: “If you’ve never played with sensory deprivation before — especially blindfolds — I highly recommend it. Divinity White Leather Blindfold is a perfect toy for either those who are just starting out or who have a great deal of experience.”
Kevin: “Totally! Get on this right away, you guys. I mean this simple addition to your sexual repertoire will enhance your sex play. And it’s relatively inexpensive too. Who knows, maybe you’ll discover that you have a kinky streak.”

V-Style Cockring and Ball Divider —— $18.50

Gina & Kevin
Kevin: “Finally I have something exclusively for me. I’m a big fan of cockrings and this V-Style Cockring and Ball Divider is great. I love the way it looks and feels”
Gina: “Again, I totally agree. He looks so hot in this thing. Sometimes I make him do the housework wearing only it.”
Kevin: “She’s gonna be an amazing dominatrix one of these days.”
Gina: “Thanks honey! We aim to please.”
Kevin: “This is made of soft oiltan leather and the V-style divider firmly separates my balls while providing the pleasurable and erection enhancing effects of a cockring.
I am blessed with a pair of low hangers, so this kind of cockring is fantastic. The simple snap closure design allows me to adjust the tightness of both the ring and ball divider straps. Very cool!.
I got the black leather version, but it also come in red leather. The nickel-free hardware made for sensitive skin, is only available in black. I encourage you to spend the extra couple bucks. The snaps will look nicer and last longer too.
The V-style lifts my “equipment” up and out of the way of my taint and asshole.This clears the path for Gina to terrorize my ass with a butt plug or strap-on on me when she’s blowin’ me. I tell you, there’s nothing finer!
Like I mentioned, the cockring portion does help me maintain my erection allowing me to last longer when we’re fucking.”
Gina: “Did I mention that he looks smokin’ hot in this thing?”
Kevin: “Ok guys, get in on this, because the V-Style Cockring and Ball Divider is the hot set up. You will not be disappointed. It’s both a stylish sexual accessory and a very helpful sex aid. And hey Spartacus Leathers thanks for all the great toys. More please!”

ENJOY!

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Santa Baby!

Hey sex fans,

It’s Black Friday; the day the holiday shopping madness starts in earnest.  I know some of you live for this time of the year, so The Dr Dick Review Crew will do our part.  This is Week 3 of this our Holiday Gift Giving Guide.

This week we will hear from Review Crew members:  Denise, Jack & Karen and Gina & Kevin.

First up, our friends and neighbors (BC, Canada), the extraordinary women at Eros & Isis send a work of art.

Sweet Pea —— $68.00

Denise
I have the pleasure of introducing you to a luscious little playmate, Sweet Pea, from a fantastic new company in British Columbia, Canada, Eros & Isis.  It’s such a rare find to discover a boutique adult products company.  I am so over the cookie-cutter, mass-produced stuff made of dubious materials that floods the marketplace.  How refreshing to discover a manufacturer with an environmental consciousness.  Long live Eros & Isis!

Sweet Pea is a petite, 3.5” x 2.5”, bulbous headed vibe made of 100% platinum SweetPeasilicone. It’s completely safe and non-toxic, which includes the natural mineral pigment embedded into the silicone to achieve the antique look of their toys.  It is meticulously sculpted, molded and cast by hand to appear as a turn of the century collectible.  It really is unique.  I haven’t seen its like anywhere else.

Sweet Pea features a removable one-speed bullet vibrator that can be replaced or upgraded to any bullet-style unit.  The bullet come packed with batteries, I’m happy to report.  So your first ride is on the house.  You can use Sweet Pea externally, but I prefer it as a pussy plug.  The sculpted base delivers delicious stimulation to my lips and clit.  And it is so soft and comfortable I can wear for an extended time. Very nice!

There’s a bit of a secret to removing bullet vibe from the base for cleanup or when you need to change the batteries.  Simply add a few drops of water-based lube between the vibe and the hole it’s in.  Remember only water-based lube on a beautiful silicone toy like this. Work the lube around a little; apply pressure to the base of the toy above the vibe and PRESTO!  The vibe pops out.

Sweet Pea is just one of the gorgeous Eros & Isis toys and each is available in Gold, Silver, and Jade.  The silicone makes the toys easy to clean with soap and water.  But it also can be sterilized in boiling water or in the dishwasher; sans the vibe, of course.

The packaging is minimal, which is fine.  However, there is one thing I would suggest.  I really believe they need to add some kind of label to their packaging that touts they very special nature of their toys — handmade, nontoxic, 100% premium silicone, etc.  I know you can read about these things on their site and in their beautiful downloadable catalogue.  (Which you absolutely must download!)  But I don’t think that’s nearly enough.  For example, if I were to give Sweet Pea as a gift, I would want the packaging to tell the lucky person I’m giving it to all about the marvelous qualities of this special toy.

Looking for a unique gift for someone very special?  Take my advice and shop at Eros & Isis.

Next, we have another Good Vibrations Ambassador Review.

Smartballs Teneo UNO & DUO —— $34.00 & $44.00

Gina & Kevin
Kevin:  “Smartballs Teneo are Fun Factory’s take on a very old idea, Ben Wa Balls.  You know what those are, right?  They are insertable balls that were invented hundreds of years ago, to enhance sexual stimulation and to exercise a woman’s PC muscles (pubococcygeus muscle). But since men have PC muscles too, I wanted to join in the fun.  In other words, you do your Kegel exercises with these babies while they are inserted vaginally or, in my case, anally.”13BG01-1
Gina:  “Smartballs are discreet.  And as Kevin suggests, they are both pleasurable and therapeutic.”
Kevin:  “Remember, the more Kegels you do, the more intense your orgasms are.  And this is true for both women and men.”
Gina:  “You simply insert the Smartballs Teneo UNO into your vagina.
Kevin:  “Or the Smartballs Teneo DUO into your ass. Or the other way around.”
Gina:  “Each Smartball unit has a finger groove for easy insertion and a tether that makes for easy removal.  You’ll want to use some lube when inserting.  And since these products are made of silicone, you can only use a water-based lube with them.”
Kevin:  “Here’s the special part.  Each Smartball has an inner ball that creates the a sweetest vibration sensation.”
Gina:  “They aren’t as heavy a ball as I am used to, but they are comfortable to wear.  And you can wear these for hours, if you’d like.  Take them dancing, to the grocery or for a walk in the park.  Every movement gives you pleasure while strengthening your PC muscles.”
Kevin:  “They are extremely durable and easy to clean. You can sterilize them in boiling water or pop ‘em in the dishwasher, which makes the Smartballs Teneo shareable. You can also wipe them down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.  Or just use soap and warm water for a quick cleanup.”
Gina:  “I like to masturbate with the Smartballs.  My orgasms are more intense, because my vaginal muscles contract around the vibrating balls.  Regular use can also help prevent stress incontinence.”
Kevin:  “And I like to squeeze one off with a ball or two in my ass.  They provide very pleasant prostate stimulation.  And ya never have to change batteries or wait for a recharge.”
Gina:  “We though Smartballs were a bit pricy.  I know LELO makes a set of similar balls using silicone for about the same price as the DUO set.”
Kevin:  “And you may need a few days to get used to these puppies, but once you do; you’ll love them.”
Gina:  “These make ideal gifts for a new mother or a menopausal woman.”
Kevin:  “Yeah, but just because these are designed for a woman, doesn’t mean a man can’t enjoy them.  Take it from me; consider these as ideal gifts for the all the butt pirates on your list too.”

Finally, the last in our series of Tristan Taormino’s educational and enrichment videos.

Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide To Anal Pleasure For Men —— $29.95

Jack & Karen
Jack:  “We’re back with another butt sex video.  If you remember, last time we reviewed: The Expert Guide to Anal Sex.  I was all bummed out because that video didn’t include men as the receiving partners in anal sex.  How was I supposed to know that there was an entire video in this series that was all about pegging your guy?”
Karen:  “Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide To Anal Pleasure For Men is just what we’ve been looking for.”DVDVIVID66
Jack:  “The disc starts out with a tutorial on the subject of male anal stimulation and goes from the anatomy itself through the actual processes involved. And our favorite ass-mistress, Tristan Taormino, is the host of this portion of the film.”
Karen:  “Then there are three sex scenes. The first involves Penny Flame and Devin.  Tristan is there in an advisory role for the opening portion of the scene.  Penny uses her fingers, a butt-plug, and a couple of strap-ons on Devin.  This is the part that interested me the most.”
Jack:  “Annie Cruz and Nomad are up next.  She finger fucks her guy with up to four of them at once.  DAMN!  She also uses a bead-like butt-plug, an even large butt-plug, and a strap-on on him.  Nomad fingers and fucks Annie’s ass with a glass dildo while she jills-off with vibrator.  Very Hot!”
Karen:  “I like the give and take between these two performers.”
Jack:  “The third scene features Jandi Lin and Christian. Christian takes Jandi’s fingers, a metal butt-plug, a glass-like butt-plug and a, curved black prostate stimulator in his ass. Jandi rims him a bit, although not convincingly.  Unfortunately there is no strap-on use here.”
Karen:  “There was a bunch of stuff in this scene that I didn’t like.  They had to do with exchanging bodily fluids, if you know what I mean.  I agree with Jack, the connection between the two performers seemed a little contrived.”
Jack:  “There are also tutorials in the bonus section.  They include; Safer Sex, How to Choose & Wear A Strap-On, Solo Prostate Stimulation—involving the guys from the movie, and Anal Hygiene and Enemas—featuring the gals.  This was just the stuff I had been looking for.  Some may find the tutorials a bit dry, especially if you’re watching this for the porn value.  But I think it’s important stuff to know, particularly for men, like me, who about to make the anal plunge.”
Karen:  “I agree; this is a terrific resource for the novice and the proficient alike.”
Jack:  “Like the last video we reviewed, Expert Guide To Anal Pleasure For Men, is a co-production with one of porn’s biggest companies, Vivid.  So you know it’s gonna be hot.  But it also goes a long way in helping demystify what is often a taboo subject for most straight couples.”
Karen:  “I like how fingers and toys, particularly plugs were used as a warm-up.  I know from my own experiences with anal sex that this king of play is essential.”
Jack:  “We recommend this DVD as a good place to start for couples considering anal sex where the man is on the receiving end.  Thank you Tristan for thinking of us guys!”

ENJOY

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Moveable Feast

Hey sex fans,

Here we are at Week 2 of this year’s Holiday Gift Giving Guide.  And we have two outstanding items for you.  One will, no doubt, be familiar to you.  The other is an outstanding example of erotic art.

The Dr Dick Review Crew Members: Kevin & Gina and Jack & Karen are here with the lowdown.

First, an old favorite from Vibratex.

Hitachi Magic Wand —— $47.50

Jack & Karen
Karen:  “You’re not gonna believe this, but on our way home from Dr Dick’s, after picking up the Hitachi Magic Wand as our review assignment.  Jack and I started to talk about the first time we’d ever seen a Hitachi.  Neither one of us knew of the others history with the Wand till that moment.  As it turned out, both of us had a similar introduction to this incredible vibe.”
Jack:  So we were driving home and I said I had used a Hitachi Magic WandZA919 before.  I told Karen that my mother had one when I was just a kid.  I used to see my dad use it on his back from time to time.  I never thought much of it till one day when I was home alone and had a little too much time on my hands.  I couldn’t have been more than 12 years old at the time.  I got the Hitachi from the cupboard, plugged it in and started running it all over my back, like I saw my dad do.  I innocently slipped it between my legs.  Holy shit, my little boy cock stood at attention till an almost painfully pleasurable thing happened only moments later.  I came for the first time then and there.  My skivvies were wet with something other than pee.  I though I had hurt myself.  I quickly put the Hitachi away and cleaned myself up; too afraid to tell anyone about the incident.”
Karen:  “I have a similar story.  My mother had a Hitachi too.  She kept it in her bedside cabinet.  I too was home alone one day; couldn’t have been more than 13; when I decided I’d see what this thing was all about.  I remember watching TV and running the vibe all over my body.  I put it to my cheek and it made my teeth rattle.  I thought that was really funny.  Absentmindedly, I ran it down over my chest.  I had already developed boobs by that time.  There was like electricity in my body that ran from my nipples to my crotch.  I moved the Wand southward and BANG.  I must have hit my clit through the jeans I was wearing.  My knees buckled and the rest is history.  I don’t think my mother ever knew how much I used her Hitachi.  But let’s just say I nearly wore out the thing.”
Jack:  “What more can we add to these stories.  What does one say about an institution; a legend.”
Karen:  “I wonder for the volumes that have been written about this, the granddaddy of all vibes, is it possible someone in our audience isn’t familiar with the Hitachi?”
Jack:  “If there is actually someone out there who has been living under a rock for that past 20+ years, here’s the lowdown.  The Hitachi is a very powerful 2-speed massager.  It has a 2″ long by 2″ diameter padded, vinyl coated head, attached to a 9″ long heavy-duty plastic handle.  And it is operated by electricity; so you have to plug it in.  This is what makes it so damn powerful.”
Karen:  “Absolutely, no other vibe, battery operated or rechargeable can even come close to the power of a Hitachi.”
Jack:  “There’s nothing sleek or stylish about this thing.  It’s pure function.  I like to cradle it under my balls when I jerk off.  I can feel the intense vibration all over my pelvis.  It’s fantastic.”
Karen:  “It’s loud too, but I don’t give a fuck.  For as quickly as it gets me off, it could sound like Mack truck for all I care.”
Jack:  “I can always tell when Karen is at her Hitachi.  She always makes more noise then usual; and that’s saying something.  Because this girl is a screamer.”
Karen:  “I like to think of it as being expressive, not loud.”
Jack:  “Whatever you call it it can wake the dead!”
Karen:  “You do pretty good yourself, mister.  When we want to terrorize the neighbors we both get out our Magic Wands, plug them in and go at it side by side.  And I always get off first.”
Jack:  “Never take a plug in toy like this near water.”
Karen:  “Oh and here’s a tip.  You can turn any un-vibrating dildo or insertable into a vibrating one by just bringing the Hitachi in contact with it.  It’s like totally fantastic.”
Jack:  “Since we use the Wand for only external use, we don’t use lube with it.  We mistakenly did it once and it was a bitch to clean up and it makes the handle too freakin slippery.
Karen:  “If you’ve never tried one of these thing, you absolutely need to get one.  It makes the ideal gift for just about anyone.  Because you can use it very effectively on sore muscles.”

Next we have exquisite insertable erotic art from the artisans at XHale Glass.  This is the second product we’ve reviewed from this outstanding company.  Look for the  Smooth Glider review.

The Heartbreaker ——  $189.99

Kevin & Gina
Kevin:  “What we saw first was this thick black velvet drawstring pouch.  It is stately enough to carry the crown jewels.”
Gina:  “And when we opened the pouch we saw the most magnificent textured glass insertable our eyes have ever seen.  It is absolutely stunning.  It stands 7” tall with a 1” diameter shaft.  The tapered realistic looking head is only slightly larger.  If that were all that was too it, it would be grand, but there’s more.  The textures on the shaftx351 are heart-shaped and, depending on the light look ruby red or a deep purple.  These hearts are actually 24K gold.  Can you believe that?  No wonder it comes nestled in its thick protective pouch.”
Kevin:  “Before we dared use The Heartbreaker we set it on a little pedestal in front of the hearth and watched the flames in the fireplace behind it dance through the glass.  It was so fuckin trippy!”
Gina:  “I broke the spell by suggesting we take The Heartbreaker to bed.  Kevin couldn’t resist the offer so we tossed a coin to see who would get first crack at it.”
Kevin:  “Gina always wins these coin tosses; I don’t even know why we continue to go through the motions.  At any rate, while she got ready in the bathroom I busied myself with getting two bowels of water ready; one with ice, the other hot water.  Once Gina was ready, I blindfolded her with a silk scarf.  I began kissing her all over, biting her nipples, eatin her cunt.  Once she was wet I dipped The Heartbreaker into the ice water and touched it to her pussy lips.”
Gina:  “I thought I was going to go through the ceiling.  The cold hardness took my breath away.  Kevin fucked me with The Heartbreaker while he masturbated.  I still was blindfolded but I could tell what he was doing by his rocking motion.”
Kevin:  “After Gina came a couple of times, I tried the hot water treatment.  This wasn’t as startling as the cold, but it worked its magic too.”
Gina:  “Once I had had my fill it was Kevin’s turn.  He hadn’t cum yet, so he was totally primed for my assault with The Heartbreaker.  I wiped down the toy with one of our toy wipes (it can also be sterilized) and slipped The Heartbreaker into my strap-on harness.  The glass dildo has a nice base on it that makes it perfect for use with a harness.”
Kevin:  “Gina lubed my ass with our favorite silicone lube; put a drop or two on The Heartbreaker; and before I could say ‘bugger’, she was in me.  The dildo’s head hit my prostate with a bang.  The slightly curved and textured shaft added the perfect sensations to my ass lips.  I was leaking precum like a faucet.”
Gina:  “I wouldn’t let him masturbate, but would rub his penis with my hand as I pegged him.  He begged for release.”
Kevin:  “She has a fuckin sadistic streak a mile long.”
Gina:  “When I finally got him off with my hand The Heartbreaker was deep inside him.  He came with such force I practically got knocked over.”
Kevin:  “Can you tell we LOVE The Heartbreaker?
Gina:  “If you are unsure about glass toys, all you have to remember is:  buy quality!   I don’t think you’ll find a better manufacturer than XHale Glass.  The Heartbreaker is just one of their brilliant collection.  But this work of art must be treated with the care it deserves.  After all this is pretty pricey stuff.”
Kevin:  “Yes, but it will last a lifetime. Think of it as an investment in art as well as pleasure.”

ENJOY

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3 Hits and A Miss

We’re back with a slew of new reviews.  The intrepid Dr Dick’s Review Crew tackles a mixed bag of treats.

Today we will hear from Review Crew Members: Jada, Ken & Denise, Kevin and Jack & Karen.  So without further ado…

We begin with a couple of new offerings from that gargantuan adult toy company, Doc Johnson.  Here’s Jada to tell us about the first one.

Doc Johnson i-Vibe Rabbit Vibrator —— $36.30

Jada
The very first vibe I ever owned was a rabbit vibrator.  I got off on it in record time, every time.  But it was such a wild looking contraption I never really warmed up to it.

Aesthetically speaking, there’s something about the “rabbit” doohickey that juts out from the vibe’s shaft that I find disturbing.  Don’t get me wrong; I understand the reason it is there.  For most women, clitoral stimulation is what gets us off.  I’m guessing that the 350__1_ivibe-rabbit-vibrator-grape.jpginsertable shaft, which is, strangely enough, usually penis shaped, is a way we tip our hat to the male member, even though most of our vibrator use is by ourselves.  Frankly, I’ve never really understood that.  I just don’t know too many women who need a penis reminder when we’re masturbating.

This suggests to me that these designs originate in the male mind.  I wish there was a way I could substantiate this.

Ok, so from the aesthetics point of view the i-Vibe Rabbit Vibrator doesn’t do a thing for me.  But I won’t detract points on that account either.  I review the toy on its merits.

Speaking of aesthetics; what I do like about this toy is its packaging.  It’s a plastic clamshell that slips inside a frosted oval plastic sheath.  It’s a very nice presentation that I find very attractive.

The i-Vibe Rabbit uses 4-AA batteries and they are not included in the package.  DISAPPOINTED!  The battery compartment is easy to use and it seals shut making the toy waterproof.  That’s a big plus in my book.

The keypad controls are pretty intuitive, although I think they should be in the reverse position.  Like I said, most women use a vibrator on themselves.  Looking down on the keypad, while using it on myself I see the controls upside down.

There are two main utilities — clitoral tickler (the rabbit) and shaft vibration (which doesn’t really vibrate, rather it rotates the beads in the shaft as well as the penis shaped head).  There are different speeds and three functions.  Frankly, I think all this is overkill.

It’s a bit noisier than I like, but with everything that’s going on with the i-Vibe Rabbit that’s not all that surprising.  Despite all the functions and speeds, this thing never really delivers the kind of vibration I want and need.  I was able to get off on it, but it wasn’t as effortless as I had hoped.

All the functions and speed variations run down the batteries very quickly, which seemed wasteful.  I would have preferred the toy do one thing really well and have the batteries last longer.  But, in the end, none of this mattered at all, because after installing the second set of batteries (brand new fresh ones, I might add) the unit simply stopped working.  That’s right, within a week of getting the blasted thing; it was in the trash.  DIASPPOINTED!  I would have been furious had I paid good money for this.

Come on, Doc Johnson, you should be able to do much better than this!

Next, Kevin introduces us to the other Doc Johnson product.

Doc Johnson Harmony Divine Yin —— $49.99

Kevin
I’m happy to report that I had better luck with my toy then Jada did.

This here is the  Harmony Divine Yin (black), which is exactly like the Yang (white), except for the color.  It is a multi-speed (3), waterproof vibe with a very stylish shape.  Despite having an interesting shape, there is nothing about it that suggests craftsmanship.  You can tell immediately that it is mass-produced.  There is also a disposable quality about it, which is too bad.  Because with a little more though behind this, the  Harmony Divine Yin could have been something quite remarkable.Sex_Toys_DJ091511

It is made of hard plastic.  I didn’t think I was going to take to the hardness, but I wound up liking it very much.  So I have no quarrel with the material used.

The batteries (2-AAA) are easy to install.  No batteries are included in the package, which sucks.  And the battery compartment is easily closed to create what they claim is a watertight fit.  I use it in the shower, but I won’t use it in the bath. I’d just as soon not ruin this by tempting the fates, if ya know what I mean.

Harmony Divine Yin is not very powerful, but I won’t kick it out of bed.  The nipple-like button turns it on and cycles through the three speeds. The hard plastic conducts the vibration better than say a jelly toy would; so there’s that.  It’s pretty quiet too.

The serious end of  Harmony Divine Yin is sort of plug-shaped and is nearly 2 inches in diameter at its widest part.  In terms of this being used as a butt plug or a prostate stimulator, it isn’t for the novice butt pirate.  However, it’s a nice external stimulator for your taint (perineum) and balls.  Because it’s hard plastic, you can sit on it with the pointy end on your rosebud while you whack off.  It gives you a nice little buzz.  If you’re gonna use it internally; lube is a necessity.  Again, because it’s hard plastic, you can use whatever kind of lube you want.  This will make the tapered end easier to insert.  Not that it’s particularly difficult for those of us who know what we’re doing.

I liked doing my kegel exercises on the  Harmony Divine Yin unyielding hardness.  If you’re up for it, the ridges in the middle of the toy will provide some extra stimulation during a thrusting motion. Once it’s inserted, it can be pretty much a hands-free toy.

Clean up is super easy with mild soap and warm water. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.

One final thing, I think this is a bit pricey for a simple straightforward hard plastic vibe, especially since it’s not all that powerful.  If it were $10 less, I’d say go for it; what do you have to lose?  But for just about $10 more you’d be able get yourself a very nice, powerful silicone vibe that will probably last much longer than the Harmony Divine Yin will.

Jack & Karen tell us about a new Tristan Taormino video.

The Expert Guide to Anal Sex ——  $29.95

Jack & Karen
Jack:  “So ya’ll know I’m real new at the whole butt sex thing, right?  I’m still discovering the pleasures that lie within.”
Karen:  “I’ve been dying to strap on one and give this boy a pegging he will not forget.”
Jack:  “It’s talk like that that give me pause.”
Karen:  “Sorry, honey, I was just making a little joke.”DVDVIVID1277
Jack:  “What my foray into anal sex has done for me is give me a greater sensitivity toward women and the invasive sex they have all the time.  I mean, if someone were to fuck me in the ass like I have fucked some women in the pussy, without even so much as a warm-up, I’d fuckin kill them.”
Karen:  “That is an awakening that I wish all men would come to sooner rather than later.”
Jack:  “Anyhow, not to veer too far off topic; I was glad we got this DVD to review.  It really opened my eyes to the pleasures to be had in butt fucking.”
Karen:  “This is a terrific resource for the novice as well as the proficient alan sex practitioners.  International sex expert, Tristan Taormino, talks to a group of (straight) couples about anal anatomy, as well as delvers tips, and techniques of anal pleasure. Her co-hosts, Lorelei and Ariel, demonstrate various techniques as Tristan narrates what they are doing.  There’s even a Q&A period.”
Jack:  “It is both super arousing and very informative.  This is a co-production with one of porn’s biggest companies, Vivid.  So you know it’s gonna be hot.  Unfortunately, and this is a huge disappointment for me; it’s only about women receiving anal.  What, they couldn’t have included some men on the receiving end?  Bummer.”
Karen:  “That is so true!  But that doesn’t diminish the information imparted.  For example, Tristan talks about lubes and desensitizing agents; and that’s applicable to both women and men.”
Jack:  “You get comments from Tristan as well as pop-up tips about the action throughout the feature.  I also liked the way the performers talked about anal sex and why they like it.  This goes a long way in helping demystify what is often a taboo subject for most couples.”
Karen:  “I like how toys, particularly plugs were used as a warm-up to cock penetration.  I know from my own experiences with anal sex that foreplay is essential.”
Jack:  “I was also kind of surprised that there was little mention of the increased risks of sexually transmitted diseases with anal sex.  NO CONDOMS WERE USED IN THIS MOVIE!  What’s up with that?  Maybe they didn’t want to scare people who may be considering including anal in their monogamous couple sex.  There is a safer sex mini-feature included on the DVD, but I thought there could have been more in the feature itself.”
Karen:  “There’s also a featurette on anal hygiene, which I found informative.”
Jack:  “I really got off on the hot, hot, hot girl-on-girl bonus scene.  Finally a little strap-on action!”
Karen:  “We recommend this DVD as a good place to start for women considering anal sex.  Guys who are interested in exploring their bottom need to look elsewhere.”

Finally, let’s have a little fun with Ken & Denise and their parlor game.  (This is a Good Vibrations Brand Ambassador review.)

Truth or Dare: A Game of Passion ——  $16.95

Ken & Denise
Denise:  “I love games, all kinds of games.  I guess I’m just a party girl at heart.”
Ken:  “I, on the other hand, think most games, especially parlor games are boring.”
Denise:  “Yeah, but this one is different, because it’s like a sex game.”
Ken:  “So we had two of our favorite couples over for dinner last week.  We were all sufficiently socially lubricated, if ya catch my drift.  We plunked ourselves down in front of the fire for a little postprandial toke, when little Mary sunshine over here hauls out the Truth or Dare game!”
Denise:  “What a better time for a little fun?”NAUGHTY_MTL_Truth_Or_Dare2
Ken:  “I’m thinkin’ ‘oh god, do we have to?’  But our friends who are green with envy over our gig on Dr Dick’s Review Crew were like, ‘cool, let’s do this!’”
Denise:  “Luckily, considering the condition we were all in, the game is super simple.  There’s one die that you roll and two stacks of cards — one marked Truth, the other marked Dare.”
Ken:  “The die has Truth or Dare on six of the eight sides.  The other two sides have the word ‘Wild’ on it.  If you roll that, you get to choose either a Truth or Dare card.  Then you can either do the thing yourself or order your partner to perform the task, or you can pass.”
Denise:  “We all got increasingly silly as the game wore on.  If you choose a Truth card, it may read, ‘If you could watch an intimate moment from your partner’s life before you met, what would that be?’ ‘Would you ever buy a private lap dance for your partner?’  ‘What authority figure possesses the most erotic possibilities for you?’  ‘What sensual characteristic or ability do you envy in the opposite sex?’”
Ken:  “The Dare” cards are equally innocuous; however, they often involve props — computers, whipped cream, makeup, etc.  ‘You are the subject of an impromptu erotic photo shoot.  You partner will be the photographer…’  ‘Perform a seductive and enticing striptease to the music of your choice.’ ‘Create a bondage costume using nothing but plastic wrap!’  You get the idea.”
Denise:  “Some of the Dare cards involve calling other people on the phone to ask dumb questions.  This is never a good idea, especially when the person you’re calling isn’t as loaded as you are.  But we just disregarded those commands, and we had a ball.”
Ken:  “I think our friends were a bit intimidated by some of the tasks.  They’re not as big a freaks as us.  But it’s true; fun was had by all.”
Denise:  “Good point!  Before you consider playing this game with anyone other than your significant other, review the cards to see if it’s actually a good idea for the company you have in mind.

ENJOY

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A little dab’ll do ya!

Sex fans, we have a load of lovely lubes to tell you about.  We received five of the hottest selling Boy Butter products to test, and test we did!  In fact, The Dr Dick Review Crew has pert near wore out their parts testing this stuff.  What we won’t do in the name of science.

Review Crew members; Mick & Chuck, Kevin & Gina, Jack & Karen and Carlos walk us around these products.

Boy Butter Warming 5 oz EZ-Pump —— $20.99

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “We’ve both been wanting to try a warming lube, so I’m glad we were chosen for Boy Butter Warming .”
Kevin: “I like the pump container. It’s easy to use and there’s not the mess that often comes with traditional containers.”BBwarming
Gina: “This stuff really works! With just the first application I could feel the warming sensations. At first, I thought it was going to get too intense for me, but it didn’t.”
Kevin: “It’s a coconut-oil based lube so it’s not compatible with latex condoms. That’s not an issue for us, but I did want to mention that in my review. Also, this is the first creamy lube we’ve used. I was impressed with its lasting power.”
Gina: “I must confess; I had my misgivings at first. I have very sensitive skin and I often have adverse reactions to new lubes. I checked the label on Boy Butter Warming and secretly thought to myself, I can’t even pronounce half of the ingredients. This doesn’t bode well for me using it. At least, that’s what I thought. Curiously enough, I experienced no irritation or discomfort. So yeah for that!”
Kevin: “We love our silicone lubes, but they are a bitch to clean up and they stain clothing. This product however, despite containing silicone and being oil-based, cleaned up in a snap. In fact, it cleaned up like a water-based lube.

Boy Butter 5 oz EZ-Pump —— $16.99

Carlos
This is the original formula Boy Butter.  It comes in several different packaging options, so you may have seen it in a tub or a squeeze bottle.  Personally, I think this E-Z pump is the best.  It’s easy to handle, and you can dispense just the right amount of lube you need every time.  The plastic top keeps it from accidentally messing up anything else it may come in contact with.BBoriginal

I really like the creamy consistency of Boy Butter.  It lasts longer than other oil-based lubes I’ve tried; and I’ve tried plenty.  The organic coconut-oil base keeps it slick and silky.  I’ve never found a better jack-off lube than Boy Butter.  It even outlasts my favorite silicone-based lube.  I’m sold on this product.

Keep in mind; you can’t use Boy Butter with latex condoms.

Clean up is pretty easy too, soap and warm water will do.  It’s so much easier to clean up than my favorite silicone-based lube.

The only drawback that I can see is it doesn’t taste very nice.  But then again, I’m just jacking off with it.  If I planned to go down on someone, I think I would choose a different lube.

Boy Butter H2O 5 oz EZ-Pump —— $16.99

Jack & Karen
Jack:  “Damn, this stuff is great!”BBLh2o
Karen:  “This is the first creamy formula water-based lube I’ve eve seen.  I didn’t even know you could make such a thing.”
Jack:  “We concur with all our fellow reviewers, Boy Butter H2O last long, never gets sticky.  We really like the pump container too.  Very convenient!”
Karen:  “This formula is perfect for use with latex condoms.  And because it is water-based, clean up is a breeze.  It won’t stain clothing or beading either.  And that’s a big plus in my book.”
Jack:  “Neither one of us experienced any negative reactions to this lube; no irritation, nothing.  And we used it for fucking, not just for jillin’ or jackin’ off.
Karen:  “Yeah, I was really surprised by this.  I’m always very careful about what I put near, on or in my pussy.  But knock on wood, I’ve had no adverse reaction at all.”
Jack:  “Kudos for great packaging and branding.  It’s fun and smart.  Funny, up until we got Boy Butter H2O to review, I had never heard of the company.  I wonder, is it a product line that is primarily marketed to gay men?
Karen:  “If it is, that would be really too bad.  Because other straight and bi folks, like us, would really enjoy Boy Butter H2O too.
Jack:  “Get some today; you won’t be sorry!

Boy Butter Extreme 5 oz. E-Z Pump —— $17.99

Boy Butter Extreme Desensitizing H20 Based 5 oz EZ-Pump —— $19.25

Mick & ChuckBBextremeEZ
Mick:  “We have a little confession to make.  Chuck and I had already used Boy Butter Extreme before we were asked to review it.”
Chuck:  “We hadn’t used the H20 Based formula and we really wanted to, so we asked if we could test both products.”
Mick:  “Until we tried the H20 Based one, we thought Boy Butter Extreme was the best such product on the market.  We’ve tired several other desensitizing products, but we liked Boy Butter Extreme best.”
Chuck:  “Sometimes Mick has difficulty relaxing into butt sex.  I’m not tooting my own horn here, but I’m hung 8.5”, pretty thick too.”
Mick:  “Trust me, it’s a sight to behold.  But it’s true; I have a tendency to tighten up when I’m just getting started in a fuck. Boy Butter Extreme helps me over this initial phase allows me to enjoy all that is to come.”
Chuck:  “I love the pump container.  Both products are long-lasting and remain slick and silky, which makes fucking a joy.  I hate it when lubes get sticky!”
Mick:  “Both products use the maximum amount of Benzocaine (7.5%) allowed by law.  So you know this is industrial strength!”BBextremeH2O
Chuck:  “Some people have an adverse reaction to Benzocaine.  If you do, these are not the products for you.”
Mick:  “I am so happy that Boy Butter make a H20 formula, because Chuck has to use a condom when I use either of these products. And the H20 Based version is condom safe.”
Chuck:  “I was just about to mention that.  We had an unfortunate experience a while back when we first started using desensitizing lubes and whatnot.  I didn’t wear a condom and my dick became desensitized too.”
Mick:  “Come to think of it, this wouldn’t be such a bad thing for a guy who has a real short fuse, right?  The Benzocaine would probably just the thing to help him last longer.”
Chuck:  “Oh, and may I suggest that you use these products sparingly.  A little goes a very long way.  You certainly don’t want to over use either of these lubes.  It will take all the fun out of the fuck for both top and bottom; you’ll not be able to feel a thing.”
Mick:  “Exactly, ya simply want to apply a small amount of Boy Butter Extreme (or the H20 Based formula) to your finger, insert it into your ass.  Smooth it around till you’ve lightly coated your sphincter.  You will notice the numbing effect in a minute or two.  Remember, you can always add more if needed, but you can’t eliminate it once it’s been applied.  At least, not without soap and water.”
Chuck:  “We highly recommend these products with the precautions we mention.”
Mick:  “If you’ve shied away from anal sex simply because of the initial discomfort, give one or another of these Boy Butter Extreme products a try.  I think you will be pleasantly surprised.”

ENJOY

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Luscious LELO, Our Conclusion

For the last seven months, the Dr Dick Review Crew has been reveling in the sensuous pleasures that are LELO.  We’ve brought you 4 reviews so far — ELISE, BO, IRIS and GIGI

Today, we conclude our LELO presentation with three other amazing products.  Review Crew Members:  Kevin & Gina, Joy & Dixie and Brad do the honors.

ELLA —— $44.00

Kevin & Gina
Gina:  “We kicked off the LELO reviews with our review of GIGI.”
Kevin:  “So there’s some beautiful symmetry to us being part of the concluding reviews.”
Gina:  “And speaking of symmetry we have the pleasure of introducing you to ELLA, another stunning pleasure object from the undisputed leader in adult products, LELO!”Ella_white_mv1
Kevin:  “ELLA is not a vibrator.  It is, however, a beautifully sculpted insertable that is ideal for G-spot or P-spot stimulation.”
Gina:  “And you can use either end!  It’s like getting two toys in one.”
Kevin:  “It comes in the famous LELO high-end packaging.  It’s perfect for gift giving.  But for those of us who appreciate minimal packaging, it can sometimes feel like over kill.”
Gina:  “And because there is no vibration with this pleasure object, there’s no fussing with batteries or dubious recharge ports.  Besides, I like the fact that I can be the instrument of my own bliss.”
Kevin:  “It’s made of 100% seamless silicone.  It is soft and velvety and beautiful to the touch.  It’s approximately 7.25 inches long and 1.5 inches across at the widest point.  Like Gina mentioned, ELLA can be inserted using either end.  The curved tip is just like the GIGI.  I LOVE IT!
Gina:  “Because it is silicone, it cleans up is easy with mild soap and warm water.   You can wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with hydrogen peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.  If you’re going to share this toy, and I really think you should, you can serialize it in boiling water for a minute or two, or pop it in the top shelf of the dishwasher.”
Kevin:  “I totally agree that you ought to share this toy.  We all have a ‘spot’ of one sort or another — G or P, that is.  Just insert the curved tip about two inches into your pussy or asshole, as the case may be, with the curve pointed towards the front of your body and rock the handle up and down.  Oh baby, oh baby!”
Gina:  “Kevin does not exaggerate.  This is what I meant when I said I like being the instrument of my own bliss.”
Kevin:  “If you’re more of a dildo kinda person, the other, long tapered end of ELLA will put a smile on your face.”
Gina:  “Use it on yourself for solo play; use it on your partner for partnered play.”
Kevin:  “And it’s not just a pleasure object; it’s also a therapeutic object.  You can use this honey to do your Kegels with too.  And all of us, men and women need to do those.”
Gina:  “Of course, you can use only water-based lube with this beauty.  And when you’re finished diddling yourself and/or your partner clean it and store it in the satin pouch thoughtfully provided by the good people at LELO.”
Kevin:  “This is one of the more affordable LELO products.  Beautiful styling and superior quality for under fifty bucks.  You can’t beat that with a stick!”

Next up is BOB.  We turn to Brad for his thoughts.

BOB —— $49.00

Brad
Hey, isn’t BOB and acronym for Big Old Bottom?  That’s what Dr Dick keeps calling me!  So ok, I’m a straight guy with a thing for his prostate.  For years I couldn’t admit this to myself, let alone others.  But nowadays I’m an out and proud butt pirate.

And as a personal trainer, I often find myself talking to my male clients about prostate health.  Apparently, my straight clients find that information easier to take because I’m straight too.  And I’ve been telling them about my BOB, you can count on that.

Anyhow, I’m like totally down with BOB, this stylish gentleman’s butt plug.  If you’ve cat_bob_bordeaux_320_320-1never tried a plug, this is the ideal starter size.  It’s about 3” of insertable length and not much thicker than my thumb.  It is easy to insert, even for the novice.  And because its “plug” shaped it stays in place once inserted.  BTW, you’ll want to use a water-based lube with this 100% silicone toy.

BOB is so comfortable, as well as being very stimulating, so you can wear it for hours.  I do.  People often ask me why I smile so much and why am so easy going.  If they only knew I had BOB in my ass!  I absolutely love saying that.

BOB has this ring on its base; this keeps it from going in too far and makes pulling it out of your ass a breeze.  If you really want to treat yourself to a nice prostate massage, all ya do is use the ring to make thrusting and rocking motions.  I can actually cum by massaging my prostate like this.  I don’t even have to touch my dick.

LELO makes BOB affordable; it’s under $50.  But you still get all the special LELO touches, like beautiful packaging and even a little satin pouch for safe keeping, when it’s not up your bum.  Because it’s silicone its easy to clean with mild soap and warm water.  You can wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.  You can serialize it in boiling water for a minute or two, or pop it in the dishwasher.

Dudes, if you still think that ass play, even by yourself is like all gay and stuff, you are totally missing out.  Get a BOB and find out what I mean.  And you’ll be on your way to some fine pleasure as well as some serious prostate health.

Finally there’s LUNA BEADS and for that review we turn to Joy & Dixie

LUNA BEADS —— $47.00

Joy & Dixie
Joy:  “We’re glad to be back with everyone after having a couple months off.  We were on an extended holiday and we missed all our toys at home while we were away.”
Dixie:  “That’s not exactly true, we did take a couple of our favorite toys with us.  One new one that we well talk about at another time, and the other was our delightful LUNA BEADS.  They are very discreet and easy to pack. And they are both pleasurable and therapeutic.”
Joy:  “LUNA BEADS are LELO’s take on a very old idea, Ben Wa Balls.  You’ve heard of Luna_beads_mv2them, right?  They were invented hundreds of years ago, to enhance female sexual stimulation and to exercise a woman’s PC muscles (pubococcygeus muscle). In other words, you do your Kegel exercises with these puppies.
Dixie:  “Here’s a tip; the more Kegels you do, the more intense your orgasms are.”
Joy:  “You simply insert the LUNA BEADS, each of which has an inner ball that creates the most amazing vibration sensation.”
Dixie:  “The kit comes with two sets of silicone balls that pop in and out of a plastic girdle – one set is close to 30 grams and the other set is around 40 grams.”
Joy:  “You can mix and match the weighted balls to build up your PC muscles. And you can wear these for hours, if you’d like.  I know I like!”
Dixie:  “Being made of silicone they are easy to sterilize, which makes the LUNA BEADS shareable.  But for under $50 you may want your own set.”
Joy:  “Dixie and I both like to masturbate with the LUNA BEADS.  They deliver intense orgasms, because your muscles contract around the vibrating balls.”
Dixie:  “You can say that again.  And there’s never a need to change batteries or wait for a recharge.  You can see why we took the LUNA BEADS on our vacation.”
Joy:  “We completely endorse this product.  They are both fun and healthful.  We’ll never leave home without them.”
Dixie:  “Given all the very expensive toys out there, including several of the other LELO products, one can’t go wrong plunking down your hard-earned money for a set of these.”
Joy:  “Our friend, Karen, is about to give birth to her first child.  We’re going to give her LUNA BEADS at the baby shower.  No mother should be without!”

ENJOY!

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Class (GLASS) Act

Hey sex fans,

Lookie what we have here; its art that is as stunning on your mantle as it is inside you.  Over the next two weeks, the Dr Dick Review Crew has the pleasure (both literally and figuratively) of introducing you to three exquisite insertables by a brand new artisan:  Simply Blown.  They get extra points for their name and the double entendre. Who doesn’t appreciate a sex toy company with a sense of humor?

Each one of the toys we have is unique.  They are individually crafted and are museum quality.  Think of it as old world craftsmanship with a wickedly sexy edge.  What could be finer?

Dr Dick Review Crew members — Gina & Kevin and Joy & Dixie do the honors.

This week Gina & Kevin is tell us about Love Line.

Gina:  “You can understand my excitement when Kevin and I were chosen to review these beauties.  Just look at them!  I could hardly contain myself.”
Kevin:  “She gets that way sometimes.”
Gina:  “What, are you trying to say you didn’t cream your jeans at the thought of having one of this up your bum?”
Kevin:  “Oh I’m so BUSTED!”
Gina:  “There, I told you.”
Kevin:  “Gina’s right we both got a little moist at the thought of diddlin’ ourselves (and one another) with the likes of the Love Line.  She got the big one — 9″ tall x 1 5/8″ diameter, which stand on a flared base.”
Gina:  “And he got the petite one — 5″ tall x 1″ diameter, also with a flared base.”
Kevin:  “She used hers in her pussy, I used mine in my ass!”
Gina:  “It’s exactly like Jack Sprat and his wife, only completely different.”product_1
Kevin:  “We no sooner got in the door when we dropped trou, whipped out the lube and had at it for our first go.”
Gina:  “The tiniest bit of lube, either water-based or silicone-based, makes these beautiful glass insertables super slick.”
Kevin:  “I love to watch Gina fuck herself with her toys.  I get so fuckin’ hot.  The Love Line glass made the experience almost psychedelic.  Once she got her rhythm, the 9” of super-smooth purple art plunged deeper into Gina with each stroke.  This drove her wild.  And, of course, I egged her on by making the most lewd comments I could think of.  ‘That’s it baby, stretch out that tiny little cunt of yours with that really big boy.’ ”
Gina:  “He does love his dirty talk.  I used to be so embarrassed when he would do that.  It sounded so crude.  Now turns me on.  See I’m growing!”
Kevin:  “Gina’s on her back, propped up by pillows.  I’m opposite her squatting till my ass lips come in contact with the glass.  It’s cool and my ass devours it.”
Gina:  “It’s true, without so much as a moment’s hesitation the petite pink plug disappears inside him.  He grins with amusement and spews more filthy talk.”
Kevin:  “I’ve taken bigger, but the hardness of the glass is a new sensation.  Oh, and by the way, this insertable can’t really be called a plug.  It’s a dildo.  A plug would have a notch just before the base that my sphincter would lock onto to hold it in place.”
Gina:  “I stand corrected.”
Kevin:  “I sure do hope Simply Blown does come out with a line of plugs.  Because I would love to wear one of these babies for a few hours.”
Gina:  “We both came watching each other pleasure ourselves.  I love to watch Kevin feed his behind.”
Kevin:  “Don’t you just love how she avoids calling my asshole an asshole?”
Gina:  “Sheesh!”
Kevin:  “On our next date with the Love Line we took our time.  We added some sensation play.  The Love Line, indeed all fine glass like this, can be heated and chilled.  We used both, a hot water bath in one bowl and an ice water bath in the other.  Going from hot to cold or cold to hot blew our minds.”
Gina:  “These toys are meant to shared.  Because glass is nonporous, cleaning and disinfecting is a snap.  Mild soap and water to clean; a 10% bleach solution, boiling or the dishwasher to disinfect.”
Kevin:  “On our next go at these lovelies; I got to try the big boy, the one Gina had first.  It took some time and some deep breathing but I did it.  Gina helped me relax.  And once I had the gape goin, she plugged my ass but good.”
Gina:  “He is an ass-slut, that’s for damn sure.  See I said ass!”
Kevin:  “Gina liked the petite dildo.  It was easier to hit her G-spot.”
Gina:  “I highly recommend the Love Line to anyone who is looking for the classic glass dildo.  You will not be disappointed.”
Kevin:  “And anyone out there still unsure about glass toys, if you buy quality, like the Simply Blown line, you have nothing to worry about.  But like all high-end toys you need to treat it right.  Care for it properly, and it will last a lifetime.”
Gina:  “Generally we are able include a retail price and a link to an online store with our reviews.  Unfortunately, we can’t do that this week. Simply Blown is so new a company that you’ll just have to contact them directly and ask for pricing.”

ENJOY

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A BEAUTYFUL HANDFUL – Goldfrau

REVIEW #30

Hey sex fans,

Today we have something extraordinary indeed.

Over the last several months The Dr Dick Review Crew has had the pleasure of reviewing several exquisite high-end insertables made from some surprising materials. Among them — Pyrex glass, medical grade silicone, wood and even aircraft-quality spun aluminum.  Besides being fun and functional; each and every one of these lovelies is also an exceptional work of art.  Today we add porcelain to that list of exceptional materials.

Gina & Kevin — Reviews #4, 13, 16, 17, 18, 23, 24, 27. 28

Goldfrau — Miss Pink $240

Gina:  “If I were to try to design the perfect dildo, I couldn’t do better than this Australian company has done with their signature product — Goldfrau.  It’s simply perfect and perfectly simple.  It’s delightfully sensual; it’s beautiful art; it’s creatively innovative and it is GREEN!  I know I’m gushing, but my Goldfrau is stunning.”
Kevin:  “Gina’s right; I’m blown away too.”
Gina:  “I admit, at first I was a little skeptical. Porcelain is ceramic, of course, and all I could think of was how fragile that would make it.  I had the vision of a fine porcelain doll in mind.  I was oh so wrong.  After a little research, I discovered that stoneware ceramics, like this, are exceptionally durable and versatile.   There are ceramic knives, ceramic engines parts and the space shuttle’s exterior is made of ceramic tiles.”
Kevin:  “The ceramic used in crafting the Goldfrau will not chip, crack, or break miss-pinkunder normal use.  And you’re gonna want to treat this baby with loving care, not because it’s fragile, but because it is a stunning work of art”
Gina:  “Check this out!  The Goldfrau comes wrapped in this handsome lined soft leather pouch that just screams elegance.  The Miss Pink Goldfrau I have is cream-colored porcelain with an intricate lavender lace pattern on it. The shaft is absolutely smooth and it’s just a tad short of 9″ long.  It has a real nice heft to it too; nearly 10 ounces.”
Kevin:  “It’s shaped like a baseball bat with a rounded handle, which makes for easy handling even when lubed.  We discovered that a little lube went a very long way.  And you can use any type of lube you want with this porcelain beauty.”
Gina:  “Here’s a really neat feature I discovered. Despite the straight shaft, the Goldfrau is perfect for G-spot stimulation.  It’s odd, because most of the other G-spot stimulators I’ve seen or used have a curve to them. The Goldfrau does not.”
Kevin:  “Yeah, I feel confident using this thing on Gina without fear of injuring her.  Those curved dildos can sometime get turned around in her pussy and when the curve is pointing opposite to the G-spot that can hurt.”
Gina:  “I also really like the fact that I can warm and chill the Goldfrau to suit my mood.  It’s very easy to do.  You can chill it in the refrigerator for a few minutes or warm it by running hot water over it.”
Kevin:  “And it changes temperature very quickly.  So get this, one evening I ltr_pouchblindfolded Gina and restrained her spread-eagle on the bed.  I had a bowl of ice water and a bowl of hot water next to the bed.  I teased and tormented her clit and pussy with surprises in varying temperatures.  She got so wet I had to get down on all fours and lapped up all her sweet juices.  And you can use either end of the Goldfrau for wicked pleasure”
Gina:  “I have to admit, not knowing what was coming next — cold or hot drove me wild.  I was so totally turned on.  And I don’t think I ever lubricated that much in my life.  My man knows how to push my buttons.”
Kevin:  “While we were doing this hot/cold thing I made up a story about an beautiful Chinese princess who had been abducted by a cruel warlord and was being tortured into submission.  The warlord would fuck the princess wildly with an exquisite…wait for it…ancient porcelain dildo.”
Gina:  “As you can see, Kevin’s been reading too much erotica. But I did love his story.  And being blindfolded and restrained only intensified the experience.”
Kevin:  “Hey, there’s no such thing as too much erotica.”
Gina:  “You’re right, hon; you can tell me dirty stories anytime.  Just make sure the Goldfrau is near at hand.  I also want to mention that the Goldfrau, I guess because of its heft, fills me up more than it’s girth would suggest.”
Kevin:  “Ya know what?  I think the Goldfrau people should work on developing a similar porcelain toy just for us ass-centric men.  I mean a guy could use one of these on himself to great effect.  I’m just thinking something more along the lines of a hefty porcelain butt plug would totally rock.”
Gina:  “Clean up is easy with mild soap and warm water. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.  You can serialize it in boiling water for a minute or two, or pop it in the dishwasher with all your other fine china.”
Kevin:  “Guys, if you want to show your Valentine just how special she is; the Goldfrau is the idea gift.  It’s a little pricey, but you know your gal is worth it.  Besides, you’ll not find its equal anywhere else.”
Gina:  “And gals, if you buy only one new pleasure instrument this year; make sure it is a Goldfrau.  You will forever thank me for this tip; I promise.”

ENJOY

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Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen…and Gentlewomen

REVIEW #28

Hey sex fans,

It’s Week 4, and the final week, of our Holiday Extravaganza.  Did you somehow miss Week 1, 2 or 3 of this lollapalooza?  Shame on you!  Check out Reviews #25, 26 and 27.  You’ll be so glad ya did.

The Dr Dick Review Crew has been workin’ overtime gettin you these reviews and now all our naughty parts are sore as all get out.  Thank god this is the last week; we need a break, don’t cha know!

This week’s Review Crew include:

  • Jack & Karen — Reviews #17, 18, 25, 27
  • Joy & Dixie— Reviews #6, 12, 16, 17, 18, 23, 27
  • Glenn & Hank — Reviews #4, 16, 17, 18, 23. 24, 27
  • Gina & Kevin — Reviews #4, 13, 16, 17, 18, 23, 24, 27
  • Ken & Denise — Reviews #11, 16, 25
  • Jada — Reviews #14, 16, 20

First up Ken & Denise introduce us to a beautiful wooden insertable from Hans at Hardwood Dildos.  I’m a big fan of Hans’.  He is more than a craftsman; he’s an artist.  He really knows his wood and his woodies!  We have just this one dildo to review, but his site is virtually overflowing with ingenious designs.  When you visit, be sure to tell him Dr Dick sent you.

Apple Wood Dildo $99

Ken:  “I was hoping I would be one of the lucky chosen ones to review one of the great wooden dildos we’ve featured during our Holiday Extravaganza.  I lucked out!  Denise and I have a real beauty.”433a.jpg
Denise:  “That is so true.  Unfortunately, our Apple Wood Dildo doesn’t come already named, like the ones reviewed earlier in this series.”
Ken:  “Well, it’s only unfortunate if you’re not clever enough to come up with name all on your own.  I’ve christened ours Peter…for obvious reasons.”
Denise:  “I stand corrected.  Maybe I need to be punished.  😉
Ken:  “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?  Just you wait till we get home, young lady!”
Denise:  “Ohhh, Daddy!”
Ken:  “We seem to be veering off topic.  Back to our beautiful Hardwood Dildo.  It is made of Apple wood, a fine-grained, dense wood, which has a very fair color, kinda like maple or cherry.  Apparently, the wood comes from trees pruned in Oregon.”
Denise:  “Hardwood Dildos is another brilliant GREEN northwest company; so hurray for that!  It also has a very traditional shape to it.  Unlike some of the other wooden insertables on the market, there is no denying this Apple Wood Dildo is a phallus. It’s 6.25″ x 1.6″/2.6″ with a luscious dickhead and a nice base for easy handling.”
Ken:  “That phallus shape suits us just fine, huh honey?”
Denise:  “You betcha!  I’m real old fashioned gal that way.  I love the way it feel in my pussy and my ass.”
Ken:  “You can use all kinds of lube with this Hardwood Dildo.  It warms nicely to your body very quickly too.”
Denise:  “Wash with warm soapy water and dry thoroughly with a soft cloth and you’re done. You can wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.”
Ken:  “I feel like I own a unique piece of art, because no two Hardwood Dildos are alike.”
Denise:  “And anyone concerned about the finish on these dildos; oughtn’t worry.  They get at least five coats of a food grade varnish called a Salad Bowl Finish.”
Ken:  “If you are looking for wood (literally or figuratively) Hardwood Dildos is the place to shop.”
Denise:  “I hope I find another one of these beauties under my tree this Christmas.”
Ken:  “Maybe you could take your tree to Hans after the holidays and have him whip up a little something for you.”
Denise:  “What a great idea!  I wonder if he does requests. Happy Holidays everyone.”

Gina & Kevin introduce us to a couple of lovable toys for the big kid in all of us. These come from the good people at Big Teaze Toys. Dr Dick gives a bunch of extra points for the delightful names. You go Big Teaze!

I Rub My Duckie Bondage $25.99

Gina:  “If a company can make me smile and make me cum at the same time, they win my heart. Now my heart belongs to Big Teaze. I Rub My Duckie Bondage is just one of the great Collector’s Series duckies available from Big Teaze Toys. You have to see the other!  Makes me giggle just visiting the site.”irubmyduckie.jpg
Kevin:  “I got such a kick out of this.  And speaking of kicks; this little bugger is mighty powerful.”
Gina:  “Bondage Duckie has a permanent place in our bathroom.  It is always in reach.  There is nothing better than a waterproof vibe.  I love to get off in the tub.”
Kevin:  “It’s a real conversation piece too. It even comes with its own set of Duckie-sized handcuffs.  What a hoot!  Guests always comment on our fashionable BDSM Duckie.  Little do they know.”
Gina:  “When Kevin and I enjoy a soak together we never forget to invite Duckie.  And you can use it several different ways.  But I think you should find that out on your own.”
Kevin:  “Batteries ARE included.  So your first rides are free!”

I Rub My Wormie Pink Travel Size $22.99

Kevin:  “The I Rub My Wormie we have is the travel sized one.  That makes is a bit smaller than the regular size.  It make an excellent butt plug.”
Gina:  “Or Pussy plug! I Rub My Wormie has a, ergonomic bend in his neck to reach your G- or P-spot.  It has an easy-grip body so he won’t wiggle out of irubmywormie.jpgyour hands.”
Kevin:  “Oh baby, Oh baby, you make me so hot!!  Don’t forget the 3-speeds of vibration.”
Gina:  “It actually is the perfect toy to travel with.  Airport security will think you are carrying a baby’s toy.  If they only knew.
Kevin:  “All you health conscious consumers out there should know these toys are non-toxic, Phthalate-free, PVC-free and latex-free.”
Gina:  “Sadly, I Rub My Wormie does not come with batteries.  What’s up with that Big Teaze Toys?  No one should be creating battery operated toys without including the fist set of batteries.  It’s just wrong.
Kevin:  “Gina and I agree these toys make ideal holiday gifts.  Just make sure if you plan to give one of these as a gift that you buy the toy with the batteries, or include the batteries as part of your gift.”
Gina:  “No one wants a toy that can’t be used right out of the package.”
Kevin:  “Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from both of us.”
Gina:  “And a Happy orgasm-filled New Year too!”

Now Jada gives us the finger, as it were. This is a clever first offering from a new Canadian company — Fun To Have.

Fun Finger $20.00

Jada:  At first I thought this was some kind of gag.  I mean Fun Finger looks like something you’d funfinger-016.jpgfind on one of those prank websites.  It’s basically a big golden thumb. Fun Finger is soft and flexible.  It has a multi-speed vibrator that is adjusted on the base of the finger. It’s made in China of TPR (Thermoplastic Rubber), which is non-toxic, but anyone allergic to latex will not be able use this.  I’m not a big fan of Chinese made products, especially nowadays, but this one seems harmless enough.

I did like the unique shape — the cocked thumb.  It’s perfect for G-spot stimulation.  I wouldn’t, however, recommend it for prostate stimulation.  There’s nothing to hold on to at the base and it could easily slip in your bum and disappear.  And that would very unpleasant indeed.

Fun Finger would make a fun stocking stuffer for the light-hearted person on your list.

Happy holidays everyone!

Our favorite perv Review Crew members — Joy & Dixie and Glenn & Hank tackle some very interesting devices from Rachel’s Pleasures.

G–Spotter $16.20

Joy & Dixiejp440.jpg

Dixie:  “This is our second go around with these sorts of products.  Joy and I, Glenn and Hank and others did a whole series on some of the products from Sportsheets.  You can find those reviews by searching for the word ‘Sportsheets’.”
Joy:  “Dixie and I prefer Rachel’s product line to the other.  For one thing, we found them more comfortable.”
Dixie:  “I hope this doesn’t sound petty, but we also like Rachel’s packaging better.  It’s more fun and it isn’t so blatantly heterosexual.”
Joy:  “Basically, the G–Spotter is a device that one attaches to the bottom’s ankles so the top can maneuver the bottom’s legs with more ease.  The bottom can hold the strap herself or the top can hold it and move it from side to side.”
Dixie:  “I liked the Cumfy Cuffs.  They are padded for comfort, quick release gismo that is real handy. The G–Spotter is also easily adjustable.”

Cumfy Cuffs And Cumfy Cuffs Extensions Kit $22.50

Glenn & Hank jp125.jpg

Glenn: “Hank and I agree with Dixie. We also like Rachel’s packaging better than the Sportsheets packaging. I guess it’s a gay thing!”
Hank: “In fact, we liked everything about the Rachel’s line better. We agree with the gals, it’s a more comfortable setup”
Glenn: “Not that the bottom is supposed to be comfortable all the time. If ya catch my drift.”
Hank: “Yeah, but Rachel’s line of products, although practical and fully functional, is geared toward the bondage novice, wouldn’t you agree?”
Glenn: “Absolutely! But we all have to start somewhere.” 😉
Hank: “Do you know a budding kinkster? Maybe you’re one yourself.
Glenn: “Maybe you’d just like to know the thrill of relinquishing control for an itsy bitsy moment or two.”

Neoprene Harness $24.30

Joy & Dixie introduce us to the Neoprene Harness.

Joy:  “Now this is something I can really sink my teeth into.”
Dixie:  “What she means to say is ‘…sink a nice big dildo into’.”jp229.jpg
Joy:  “I loves me my strap-ons!  I have quite a collection.  Some are more comfortable than others, but I love ‘em all.”
Dixie:  “I’m not as much of a connoisseur, as Joy, but this Neoprene Harness is very comfortable, I must say.”
Joy:  “It is that!  It is also reversible and machine washable.  I love that part.  I hate having to clean lube and whatnot off my leather harness.”
Dixie:  “It’s also fully adjustable.  It would have to be to fit both Joy and I.  We have such different body types.”
Joy:  “This is a really terrific start-out harness for the beginner.  It’s inexpensive, yet practical.  You just plug in the insertable of your choice (like the one that Ken & Denise showed us earlier) and then go fuck yourself some…whatever.”
Dixie:  “Exactly!  I’ve already told my ‘straight’ office mate about this.  She’s gonna surprise her BF for X-mas.”
Joy:  “You go, Danna!!  Give it to him good.”
Dixie:  “Thank you Dr Dick for a great year of products.  We certainly look forward to the New Year and what it may bring.”
Joy:  “Have a very sexy and sensual holiday season everyone.  See ya in the New Year.”

Rachel’s Bed Spread (w/cuffs) $64.53

Glenn & Hank

Hank:  “Now this is more like it! Rachel’s Bed Spread allows you can create a little bondage magic without the screw anchors and bolts in the ceiling and walls needed for more traditional bondage apparatus.”

Glenn:  “I love being restrained spread eagle on the bed.  I love relinquishing control to my partner(s) and being ravaged by him/them.”

Hank:  “And now we can play like this our own bedroom, or take it on vacation with us.”

Glenn:  “These two straps go around the mattress and allow us to attach wrist or ankle cuffs to the straps. The straps are adjustable fitting a twin up to a King Size bed

Hank:  “Rachel’s Bed Spread is not the least be threatening.  In fact, if you just wanna mess around with some power-play this is just the thing for you.”

Glenn:  “But it also works for those of us who are a tad more hardcore.”

Hank:  “And it’s a breeze to set up. It only took a few minutes.”

Glenn:  “And it’s reasonably priced.”

Hank:  “So if you are a rank amateur or a seasoned pro, you’ll have a great time testing your limits.  We did!”

Glenn:  “We think Rachel’s Pleasures rocks.”

Hank:  “We both wish you a Merry Christmas and a very edgy New Year.”

So there ya have it, Sex Fans.  We hope our Holiday Extravaganza provided you with lot of swell gift giving ideas.  Look for more Product Reviews in the New Year.