What It Means To Have Big Dick Energy

— And How To Tell if You Have It

BDE isn’t literal—it’s a state of mind.

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WHAT DO IDRIS Elba, Stanley Tucci, Jeff Goldblum, and Rihanna all have in common? BDE—or “big dick energy”—according to people on the Internet. After quickly becoming a breakout search term in 2018 (we’ll get to that in a sec), BDE cemented itself as an official part of the pop culture lexicon. The Oxford Dictionary even dubbed it “word of the year” when it first made waves on Twitter, and it has since featured heavily in the lyrics of songs like “Big Energy” by rapper Latto.

But what exactly does it mean to have BDE? Does it have anything to do with actual penis size? And more importantly, how can you tell if you have it?

Here’s the thing: There’s no hard-and-fast definition of BDE. To a degree, BDE is in the eye of the beholder, and is totally subjective. (Hence why some may insist that Timothée Chalamet has BDE, while others scoff at the suggestion.) That said, most people seem to be able to agree on the basics.

With that in mind, here’s what to know about what BDE is (and isn’t)—and what kind of person has it.

The history of BDE

>The origins of BDE can be traced back to Ariana Grande’s infamous 2018 tweet revealing that her then-boyfriend, Pete Davidson, possessed a penis measuring “like 10 inches.” (The tweet was deleted shortly thereafter, but the Internet never forgets—and has receipts.) Among the many responses, one Twitter user suggested that Davidson has “big dick energy,” and that tweet quickly went viral. Within a matter of days, there were countless thinkpieces and debates about who has BDE, and who decidedly does not.

But what many don’t realize is that the term BDE was actually coined a month prior—when it was used to describe the then-recently deceased Anthony Bourdain. In a tweet eulogizing the famed chef, Kyrell Grant wrote: “We’re talking about how anthony bourdain had big dick energy which is what he would have wanted.” (Grant isn’t wrong.)

anthony bourdain
Anthony Bourdain

“It’s a phrase I’d used with friends to refer to guys who aren’t that great but for whatever reason you still find attractive,” Grant explained in an essay for the Guardian.

What it means to have BDE

Urban Dictionary defines big dick energy as a kind of magnetic quality emitted by someone who “has a colossal phallus and doesn’t have to tell anyone about it.”

Urban Dictionary also notes that people with BDE possess the following qualities:

  • Kindness
  • Leadership
  • Positivity towards others
  • Great humor
  • A “don’t fuck with me” aura

Something to keep in mind: Even if Grande didn’t brazenly reveal what Davidson was packing, his impressive dating history alone—which includes Kim Kardashian, Kate Beckinsale, and Emily Ratajkowski—made him the poster child for big dick energy. So, if your friends and family are often miffed by the people you attract, or you suspect you’re often dating “out of your league,” there’s a good chance you’ve got BDE.

But here’s what we learned when we polled a handful of people about their definition of BDE.

Lucy, 36, claims it’s displayed in “confidence but not cockiness… A guy who carries himself well but might have a bit of an attitude… he’s got that rizz.”

Eliza, 35, adds that “anyone can have it,” regardless of gender or other factors. “It’s self-assuredness,” she told Men’s Health. “The ultimate panty-melting combo is BDE with a dash of bashfulness. Like, you’re confident, but will absolutely blush when your crush says something a little naughty.”

According to Alex, 32, BDE can’t really be cultivated. “You can’t buy it, you can’t learn it — either have it or you don’t. If you think you have it you probably don’t,” they said. “Because that’s the thing about BDE: as soon as you start feeling yourself a little bit too much, it instantly evaporates.”

Zoe, 35, agrees. “It’s swagger without bravado—with a sprinkling of chivalry in the best cases but sometimes just aloofness,” she explained. “But men should know that they cannot fool us, BDE is not dictated (pun) by the individual but by those who observe them.”

And by the way, if you’re insecure about your height—Julia, 30, wants you to know that you can definitely still give off BDE even if you don’t qualify for the NBA.

“I feel like I need to preface this by saying that I don’t think only short men have BDE, but they’re truly what comes to mind,” she told Men’s Health. “BDE to me is all about how you carry yourself. I’m picturing a short king who’s walking tall with his shoulders back and exuding charm, wit, and compassion. He’s not trying to overcompensate, battle some Napoleon Complex, or feel the need to prove his point or validate his opinion.”

Grant, the inventor of this catchy phrase, admits that she doesn’t have BDE herself, because she owns the Hamilton soundtrack. “Anybody who owns that can’t have it,” she wrote.

But then again, having insecurities doesn’t automatically disqualify you from having BDE, says Zoe—in fact, it’s quite to the contrary.

“Self-deprecation actually goes a long way,” she adds.

While definitions across the Internet can range, it seems one thing folks can agree on is this: if you brag about the size of your D, you definitely don’t have BDE. You know the guy who has to drive the most expensive and impractical sports car or humblebrag about his international travels or professional achievements on social media? Yeah, that’s automatic LDE.

Complete Article HERE!

Much Ado About Very Little

Ya’ll are gotta get a load of this. It’s rare that one person can generate an entire column with his email exchange, but that’s what happened this month. The curious thing is that I was already preparing a column about men’s obsession with dick size when along comes this dude and practically writes the whole damn column on his own.

Check it out!

Dr. Dick,
My lover of 10 years just left me. The guy he left me for is 12 years younger. I will be forty-one in June. The primary reason that he left is because, and I quote; “you have a great body and are the most attentive lover I have ever had, but he has a ten inch dick! You cannot compete with that!” And he is right. I am only 7.5.
I have stopped going out. Every chat room online has guys that are 10 plus inches in them. So I have not been in chat rooms, gone to bars or stayed in touch with friends. The two guys I attempted to have sex with, one was a stripper who was on the cover of Inches the week after we met. The other one was an army guy that had a dick like a piece of polish sausage.
I never have been a fan of huge cocks, but now I want one. I want to be at least 9.5 inches. Can this be done through surgery? I understand that vacuum pumps do not really work.
Can you seriously offer some help or advice?
Thanks.
Without a Big One

Wow, WABO, you’ve come up with a really brilliant idea. Let’s all of us fight shallow with shallow!

Honey, you’re 41 and yet you apparently still have this adolescent GRASP on the whole dick size thing, huh? Too bad! I guess some folks just never grow up. And I hate to break the news to you, but all those guys on line, the ones with 10 inches…those are cyber inches, darlin. Cyber inches have no connection at all to real honest-to-goodness LIVE inches. Jeez, wake up and smell the coffee. You’re giving us homos a bad name.

Throughout history, men have obsessed about the size of their cocks. And when there’s attention of this magnitude paid to something this trivial, you can be sure there’s gonna be an entire industry poised to bilk the shit out of the willie worrisome, like you WABO. Hey, where do you suppose the term “snake oil” originated? Sheesh!

All of this unfortunate big-dick envy creates a never-ending parade of con artists tryin’ to sell a remedy, of one sort or another, to cure guys, just like you, of their “shame”. But, take it from Dr. Dick, the dick doctor; it’s all bullshit. And some of the bullshit is really scary and dangerous bullshit.

For every little peanut out there, (and if you are reporting your size accurately, you’re not little in any way shape or form) there is some kooky diet, ridiculous cream, bogus massage technique or worthless breathing exercise that is supposed to transform one’s mini-meat into the giant economy size. And let’s not forget the weights you can hang on your thang. Vacuum devices to pump up your thang. And of course the twenty-first century solution — cosmetic surgery — to put a happy face on your thang. The results are dubious if there are any results at all. And each has negative side effects, some of which are more revolting than others.

Here’s the last word on this — don’t waste your money on any of this crap. Or better yet, send me the money, and I’ll put it to good use. Here’s the very best advice I can offer a guy who is unhappy about the size of his schlong…learn to love what ya got and leave it the hell alone.

My overriding concern, WABO, is for your state of mind. I ask myself, what kind of person would chase after a faithless BF, disrupt an established value system and seriously contemplate physically altering his appearance with all the risks that that implies? I can only assume that this is just some kind of mid-life crisis that you’re experiencing and that this will pass with time. Hang in there, WABO.

Dr. Dick

Richard,
Or should I say Dr. Dick, although I am angry and hurt I am in no way experiencing a mid life crisis. In addition, if the correct way to measure the penis is from the base to tip topside…I have done so with a fabric tape measure. The tape breaks, or bends at just past 7.5. In my experience that is small.
Just curious…How big is Dr. Dick’s cock? How big are the cocks of the guys you hire for you films and productions. I bet there are none my size or smaller. I always find it interesting that guys like Ron Jeremy or the late Scott O’Hara delving out advice to men much smaller telling them to learn to love themselves. Gee that helps a lot at a bathhouse or a play party. Guys like that, like the guy my ex left me for, never have to worry about dropping there pants after a hot date with a potential boyfriend or fuck buddy and worry about being humiliated because of the size of there cock.
I guess if I were as well adjusted or as well hung it wouldn’t be a problem.
Without

Dear Without,

Here’s what I know.

WHAT IS THE AVERAGE PENIS SIZE? The average penis size when erect is only 5.7″ to 6″. Over 90% of men posses this size.

HOW TO MEASURE PENIS SIZE: The easiest way to measure the erect penis is to use a piece of string or similar and wrap it around the thickest part of the erect penis – this is usually very near the base of your dick, but the glans just below the head can sometimes be thicker.

Make a mark on the string where it meets the start of the string and then lay the string flat next to a ruler and measure the distance between the beginning and the end mark. This measurement is your penis circumference.

To find out your length, use a ruler (running along the top of your penis) to measure from the base of the penis, i.e. where the shaft meets the body, to the tip.

Dr. Dick

Dr. Dick,
I was able to find your profile online. You are quite obviously very well hung. Lucky for you. I have decided to talk to a surgeon in NYC that does this particular surgery. In addition, he is putting me in touch with men that he has performed this procedure on that have had success.
Since you are already hung well, I don’t expect you to understand. I imagine no one has ever left you because your dick was not BIG ENOUGH! I had hoped for some real and helpful advice. Instead I found your comments belittling.
Thank you,
Without

Dear WABO

Dude, are you serious? You don’t know squat about me, girlfriend. And here’s a tip, the beauty part of free advice is you can either take it or leave it.

Belittling, huh? Curious choice of words in light of what we’re discussing. Take it from a professional; it is you who belittle yourself, not me. A big dick makes one a curiosity, it doesn’t make one interesting.

Have a ball with that surgeon. Maybe, if you spend a shit lot of money to get an extra inch of dick you’ll be a happier man. I doubt it, but I could be wrong.

While you’re at it, why not have the doctor put you in touch with the guys who aren’t success stories. Have you ever seen a botched dick job? Not pretty! I’d be willing to wager the cost of such an intervention that there are a lot more dissatisfied customers than satisfied ones.

The best of luck to you. Oh, and have a nice day.

Dr. Dick

Richard,
Are you a real Doctor? Would you be this insensitive if I were a paying patient? I have lost my lover to someone younger because he has a bigger cock. I have not had sex in months. The two times I tried the guys were hung huge. I don’t go out and I see no possible chance for happiness without being able to compete.
Tried three therapists…one fell asleep while I was crying. One said I was too angry for his experience, the last one was a woman. What do I do?

Here’s what you should do, WABO, drop all this pathetic self-pity routine and invest in something that will make you a more interesting person, something that does not call attention to your dick regardless of its size. Either that or you’ll find yourself even more alone and bitter than you currently are. So buck up, bubby, and pull yourself together. No more whining.

Dr. Dick