Once again, I have the pleasure of introducing all you perverts and wannabes to some very interesting playthings. Thanks to my inquisitive correspondents and Dr Dick’s Stockroom I’m able to bring you another installment of my ever so popular, Sex Toy Awareness feature.
Dr Dick, my new BF is an insatiable bottom. HELP, my dick is about to fall off from over use. I want to keep the fella happy, but I need a break. Our 6-month anniversary is coming up and I want to get him a little something to celebrate. I need something to feed his hungry hole. What do you suggest?
— Exhausted!

I feel your pain. While it’s great to have a man primed and ready for a pounding 24/7, it’s generally too much work for just one human to handle. I mean, when will you find that time to do your nails?
I suggest you get some help. No, you don’t have to share your guy with another top. You need to get yourself a mechanism. And I have just the one for you. Check out the Remote Control Anal Plug (B038). This marvel of modern adult toy engineering offers the promise of hands-free anal stimulation. This anal plug has a stimulator is located in its base and is powered by two AAA batteries (included). It produces a very pleasant vibration with surprisingly little noise.
The remote (with an on/off switch) is a convenient size, just barely larger than a matchbox. It can easily be hidden in a pocket or purse. Testing shows this device to have a range of 30-40 feet. Just pop this puppy in his eager hole and you’ll be able to pleasure him at a distance. Do the crossword, bake a quiche or shop Homo Depot and still keep a smile on his face. No top should be without one!
Good luck
Hey Doc! I finally found my G-spot and damn if I’m not one satisfied chick. The big-O has never been more amazing. But wait, there’s a rub! I sometimes get a cramp while fingering myself for so long. I have a selection of vibrators that I like very much, but not one of them hits the spot. What’s a girl to do?
— Fingers Too Short
If it’s not one thing, it’s another! I knew this woman once that worked so hard gettin’ herself off that she’d collapse afterward. It was pert-near time to notify the next of kin, don’t ‘cha know.
Darlin’, jillin’-off needn’t be such a chore. Check out the Rock Chick (C057). It’s designed to be used with a rocking motion as opposed to the thrusting associated with most other vibrators. The clever U-shape design will hit the spot. The narrow part inserts into the vagina, while the wider part rests on the clitoris. The Vibrating bullet is located in the tip of the wider end to stimulate the clitoris.
A gentle one-handed rocking motion is all you need to apply. Not only does it offer a one-handed movement but it can also provide “Hands Free Orgasms”. Once positioned, sit up on the edge of the bed or a chair and gently rock back and forth, leaving your hands free. HeeHaw, Gitty Up!
You can also heat up your Rock-Chick with hot tap water (1-2 minutes) for comforting warmth or cool it down in the freezer for an icy chill.
You can’t beat this with a stick!
Good Luck
Doctor Dick, A couple of weeks ago, you did a podcast about spanking. Thanks, I loved it. What about something for us beginner floggers/flogees? My sub GF wants me to get rid of the unraveled cotton cord we’ve been using and get something more professional. She wants it to look and feel more threatening. Ideas?
— Done With Cotton
I’m working on that flogging tutorial even as we speak. So hold your horses, already why don’t ‘cha? In the meantime, you betcha I got some ideas on what would be a good replacement for what you currently got goin’ on. (You get high marks for creatively — making do with the unraveled cord thingy. But jeez, Louise, a cotton whip? WTF? You trying gonna give us all a bad name?)
There’s nothing like the look, smell and feel of leather for titillating the flesh of your bitch sub. You’ll both love how leather will sweeten things up and make you feel like pros. Why not check out this little number for starters. The Flogger Whip, Suede, 12″(J295).
It has 32 strands (or “blades”) that are 1⁄4” wide, 12” long, and come to a nice point at the tips. The 51⁄2” handle is fitted with an 8” leather wrist loop for hanging the implement. You do want to make a fashion statement, don’t you?
Don’t think just because it’s small it can’t deliver. It does and you will. I see welts in your future.
Good luck
Doc, when you did your podcast about bondage last week you only talked robe bondage. What’s up with that? I use leather restraints in my dungeon. Care to comment?
— hide in hand
Well, smell you with your fancy-schmancy leather appointed dungeon! You must be the snootiest dom on the block.
Actually, I do care to comment. Technically, bondage is the generic rubric, under which restraints fall as a subcategory. And leather is just one of the materials used in restraints, albeit a very popular one.
So just for you, my precious, I have these little numbers. Check out the Extra Wide Ankle Cuffs (J127).
These cuffs are similar in design to the basic locking cuffs only more “heavy-duty.” They are wider and made of heavier leather, with a larger hasp. Perfectly suited to the really uppity sub, who doesn’t yet know his/her place
Cut from extra-thick, black, latigo leather, each cuff is 31⁄4″ wide and will fit ankles approximately 6″ to 101⁄2″ around. These cuffs are comfortable and extremely secure. No leather-appointed dungeon should be without!
Good luck
Dick, I got really sensitive nipples they’re hotwired to
right to my dick. I saw this guy at the bar last week and he had nipples the size of my fingertip. They were crazybig and shit. Is that like natural, or are his nips on steroids?
Big Nips 4 Me
Dude, like you need to totally pull your head out of your ass and wake up to how the big boys (and girls) get them freaky sized nipples. Check out the Universal Nipple Enlarger Kit (B174). This multi purpose nipple play item offers a lower cost alternative to many higher-end suction devices.
This hand-dandy kit comes with four different ring sizes and two different pump applicators, allowing for a perfect fit for most people, and a full range of sensations. A larger ring will provide a light sensation and keep your nipples comfortably erect. Use a smaller size for more sensation and/or “bite,” as well as a greater enlarging effect.
Directions:
1. Slide the chosen ring onto the tip of the pump.
2. Squeeze the bulb and attach to the nipple, wait for the desired attainment of swelling.
3. Slide the ring onto the nipple and remove the pump.
Try one of these babies on for size. Then send me photos of your freaks.
Good luck











ejaculate when he uses either lotion or lube while either masturbating or when fucking you. Right? Does that mean he can masturbate to ejaculation just fine with a dry hand?So when you guys have sex, and he’s fucking you, and you cum, what happens next? Does he pull out of you, wipe off the lube and beat off till he cums?
First, it’s not unusual for a man not to cum as a top in anal (or vaginal) intercourse. Sometimes there’s simply not enough of the right kind of friction. If, for example, your BF is like another client of mine and his masturbation style is very vigorous, or like my client who is only able to cum by concentrating his manual stimulation on his frenulum, he’ll not cum in anal intercourse…or any intercourse for that matter. He has to get himself off by hand.
exceptionally enviable relationship. Also sounds like you have plenty of room for spicing things up too.It’s so interesting that you mention your BF’s fart incident. I’ve had other people tell me similar stories. Almost to the one, each reported that this single fart incident during sex, altered their entire sexual response cycle for years. Isn’t that amazing? Aren’t we incredible creatures?
Wow, Wayne, new to gay sex, huh? I’m glad to hear that you’re enjoying yourself. Yes, the prospects of fully enjoying your newfound sexual interests must hold great allure. Congratulations!
You are not alone. Many men and women suffer from hemorrhoids and, as you say, it can be frustrating, even embarrassing. But there is hope.

When a top fingers a bottom like this, he or she ought consider the width of his dick or her strap-on while doing so. For example, once your bottom can take two fingers comfortably and three fingers with a minimum of discomfort he or she is ready to take a modest sized cock or dildo inside. If you’re very well endowed or you plan to strap on a dildo that resembles a floor lamp, you’d better adjust this finger formula based on the width of your fingers and your equipment.
most positions.
Dear Dr. Dick, Help! I want to be a bottom; at least I think I do. My boyfriend’s been begging for my booty big time, (my girlfriend just got herself a strap-on, YIKES!) but I’m just too tight down there and he’s really big (and she thinks turn-about is fair play). Our play time always end the same way, frustration for him (her) and a pain in the ass for me. How do those porno guys and gals do it?
Second. Let’s just say your dyin’ to get fucked, but you’re so intimidated by your top’s one-eyed monster that your quivering asshole is like totally shut down. Chill out! Why not begin your sex play with your partner giving you a relaxing sensual back rub. After awhile he could move on to a little butt play (and I do me play). The object here is pleasure not penetration. Have him tease your asshole with his finger. A tongue works nicely too. (This is called rimming, but you probably already knew that, because you’re not a complete idiot, huh?) A gentle circular motion works best. Have him use his hands to spread your ass cheeks, this will give your top better access to your rosebud and give you a double dose of pleasure. After a while, a lubricated finger can be inserted for a bit of a prostate massage, which is ohhh sooo delicious. When you’re ready to kick it up a notch, have your partner try inserting two fingers or a small dildo. Rhythmic deep breathing will help keep you relaxed. And when you’re all loosened up and ready to become like one of them “porno guys or gals,” you can him plug in the real thing. No more meat substitutes for you. Experiment with different positions. Try sittin’ down on that big old thang, or do it doggie style. Getting laid while on your side with your man comin’ at ya from behind gives you a bit more control over the depth of his thrusting. And of course, there’s also the traditional missionary position; you on your back, legs spread eagle and your pumps pointing to the stars.